why we can’t include opposing vibrations in our life and expect to manfiest something

why we can’t include opposing vibrations in our life and expect to manifest something


the law of physics states that two energies of different vibrations can NOT share space – one must change to match the other, or one must leave. this space can be PHYSICAL OR ETHEREAL. in other words, we can not have negative/abusive/or negatively focused persons in our life AND manifest the life of our dreams.

once we figure out OUR pattern as to why those people are/were there in the first place (how they got in, why we needed to keep them there, and how to get them out) we can ALIGN. without alignment, there is weak or undesirable manifestation. thoughts – feelings – words – actions all must = in order to manifest a positive desire. this is simple but not easy.

a couple of months ago, after decades of healing my heart/mind/body/soul from various persons and situations (this included forgiveness, perspective and enlightenment around all of the things that have ever impacted me/my life), I recognized that even though I had “let go”, I was still allowing the very spores of the energy I had let go of to continue existing in my life. out of obligation, time invested and other emotional human rationalizations, I continued allowing myself to be contacted by persons who do NOT respect me or honor me. not only was there a lack of respect and honor, but also a blatant and in several cases obvious and outward disrespect! I saw still a direct open channel, via either social media, text, phone, email for people – who completely oppose any feelings of self love I have – to contact me whenever they felt like it. years ago, this did not bother me, as I was under the opinion and feeling that “I control my life no matter how anyone treats me”; and that is true…but I reached another level (for the time being) of seeing that everything and ANYTHING I allow in MUST be either matched or equalized by the positives in my life! so I thought, why do I work so hard, just to tug the ugly anchors that only serve to hurt me behind me? where is all of my effort going? a lot of it, into a black hole. I began to realize that as long as I “accepted”, even just via basic human interaction the absolute opposite vibrations to my core in my every day life, I was holding myself back. something said to me “choose yourself and only like-minded vibrations…just for a time…and see what the universe replaces such void with!”. WELL. did the universe replace the void or WHAT!!!

let me tell you about replacing the void. when we cut an energy or a person out of our life, the void waits to be filled. we get to choose the nature of the filler. if we are early on our soul’s journey, it might be a still unhealthy but slightly more healthy than before energy. if we are far along, it might be a complete love vibration match. in my case this time, it was a complete and utter match to my ultimate positive state. for starters, not only did my caliber of patients peak – and I will say that my patients have ALWAYS been amazing – but their role in life coincided perfectly with things I was creating outside of my practice. next, on the DAY that I made my new contract with the universe and went on a cutting spree with all that hurt/damaged/painted me black, I got an amazing phone call from an amazing person – and we have created the most incredible machine that the world will soon be introduced to. my dream states were magical. suddenly, people I never had time for…I had time for. I was able to invest in new and quality friendships. old relationships improved.

cutting out the dark, no matter how hard we find it to be, is life-altering. again the reason: physics. whatever we focus upon or allow into our space, ethereally or physically, will show up multi-fold. if half of our stuff is extremely positive and the other half of it is extremely negative, NO MATTER THE REASON WHY, we will keep breaking even in life. we will keep waiting for the magical moments that we work so hard for. for example; I know someone who is supposedly extremely awake. their words and thoughts are everything positive. but their actions — zero. they continue to surround themselves with highly abusive family members, and think that somehow their life can move forward. of course it can not! they preach the spiritual bible to everyone, only they fail to look at themselves. they are invested in changing the world, but they are missing one fine detail…all that they speak of and all that they surround themselves with are polar opposites! forward motion can NEVER happen this way. again, I don’t care what the reasons, rationale or logic are. I’ve been there. I had to work through my emotions and fear around those things — that is “THE WORK”. after the work, we find clarity, and then we can make some very simple, self-loving and even technical decisions.

often you hear of public figures being accused with phrases like “as soon as they got successful they forgot where they came from!”. I beg to differ. in order to even get where they landed, they HAD to let go of the opposing energies first! so it is quite backwards. we can not ask for a positive whilst maintaining a negative energy in our life. it is easy? no. is it fair? maybe not, it depends on how we look at it. but it is irrelevant to the physics of relationships, energy, and the law of relativity.

back to what happened a couple of months ago; the response from the universe was SO loud after I decided something very simple, but something very difficult – to only have people in my life who treat me with love and respect. both to my face and behind my back. it was like a chorus of angels screaming at me, clapping with pleasure. again, my dream states were out of control good. I was being rewarded for the very thing my soul had wanted for so long – to honor itself even more deeply. we can always go deeper, by the way. but then the TANGIBLE evidence came flooding in. as if the dreams and the feelings inside of me were not validation enough! something that I have been waiting my ENTIRE LIFE for showed up. the web of my life that I have been creating for so long took shape in a instant. in a phone conversation. all of the pieces became visible just 24 hours after a final soul’s committed break from the ugly reality that I used to call my normal. soon, the world will know of the energy that was birthed in my life a couple of months ago, because it will affect so many. but my point is this: I could not have even experienced this reality had I continued allowing opposing vibrations to co-exist in my life. we can not manifest beyond a median average of energy levels when we make exceptions to our rule of loving and honoring ourself.

a lot of energy left that day. even just viscerally. there was no telegram, email or text sent to anyone announcing this. it was a deep, committed, soul’s choice that I made in black and white terms for myself. there was no anger, there was no drama and there was no looking back and questioning myself. was it scary? yes. but that was the point. if we keep doing the same thing, allowing the same into our lives, even on the most minuscule level, we do not move forward into the home of our dreams and desires. it is crucial for all of us to do? that depends on the person. and what they desire in life, for themselves, and for the world around them. there is no wrong decision. but when it comes to focusing upon big dreams and desires, there is an absolute law of “all or nothing”. we just can not have it all ways, we can not escape from being true to ourselves. this is why it is so hard to “sustainably ‘make it'”. we MUST be in alignment. which also means we must risk speaking our truth. which also means we must risk being disliked. and so on.

I don’t know exactly what the future will look like. I have not formulated rules or red tape around my life or the people in it, other than the fact that I will ONLY allow people connecting to me who truly respect and support me. both in public and in private. is that so much to ask? nope. and if that means I am all alone, so be it. the universe NEVER tolerates a void, and it will ALWAYS send a match to the energy wiping the crumbs off of it’s table.





abusive families and the land of opposites: give up the dream of being seen for who you truly are

abusive families and the land of opposites: give up the dream of being seen for who you truly are

as I have done in a prior post, I reference Elizabeth Gilbert’s piece on tribal shame. it is worth a read through: www.facebook.com/GilbertLiz/posts/806653502750100:0

when we give up the dream of being seen for who we truly are, we are allowing others to see who THEY truly are. we are in a state of surrender, of acceptance, of truth. we are no longer fighting. we are moving with power versus force.

in my personal practice (Healing Elaine®), there has been nothing more painful for me to witness than a BEAUTIFUL (inside and out), exceptionally talented, unique, HUGE-hearted, sensitive and courageous person who has been completely destroyed and brainwashed by their biological family. how is it, HOW IS IT, that it is ALWAYS the most incredible people that I meet who are byproducts of such gaslighting, hazing and systematic tribal abuse? actually, to answer that question, you might read my post on “we are not attacked because we are flawed, we are attacked because we are brilliant”. and even though I wrote that post and I understand the “how” and the “why”, EVERY TIME I meet ANOTHER incredible soul who has been completely shut down and traumatized by “loved ones” I can just barely stand it.

I am not joking when I say that I have met THE most incredible people who have been the targets and victims of tribal or “family” abuse. it almost seems like a joke to me, because the truth could not be any clearer as to the brilliance and loving open heart contained within these patients of mine. perhaps this post will be more of a 3d rant or expression, as lately I am just blown away by the number of truly magnificent humans who have been completely lied to and gaslit as to WHO and WHAT they are! to me, to my psyche and my heart, it feels the ultimate sin for a human to be treated like this. an absolute sin from beyond. perhaps it is.

the disease of the above typically runs throughout an entire tribe or “family”. it infects such like a cancer. the reason it works, is because the person that is focused upon with hate, gossip, lies and abuse is 100% of the time always a beacon of light — truth. when other humans are NOT capable or able to be honest with themselves, or they insist out of their own cowardice and weakness upon hiding family traumas and secrets, they will ALWAYS snuff out the person who lives in their truth for the sake of “saving” the other tribe members. it serves them to focus negatively upon one person (if it were more than one person, this would not work, you see!) so that along with that person they can attempt to bury their own insecurities, secrets, repression and darkness. some “family” members get trained or brainwashed themselves, into contributing toward the scapegoated individual. sometimes long down the road into their life, after and only after a series of their own awakenings, they “wake up” and recognize the scapegoated individual for who and what they really are. but: if you are the target of tribal shame, I will give you one piece of advice: DO NOT WAIT for another person to wake up.

do not wait for anyone to see your value. you will wait a lifetime, and spend a lifetime trying to convince not only your former tribe, but everyone in your immediate life, as to your truth or value. your subconscious mind will take over and continue to RECREATE and repeat the lies and deception and abuse that you encountered throughout your life – to the point where you are actually afraid to see, feel and experience your TRUTH i.e. value.

it is so important to understand the psychological dynamics of tribal shame, which I think Elizabeth Gilbert sums up accurately in her post at the top of my blog here. I also wrote a post about this a while back, referencing Gilbert, and this post of mine here might echo some of that initial share. once the psychological and technical dynamics of tribal shame are understood, we can break the emotional attachment to the situation with greater ease. stop looking at your “family” as people, and start looking at them in terms of their actual patterns. if you know that a tv only turns on and off a certain way, do you keep trying different buttons that do not work? seeing deeper into the cycle and sickness that an entire tribe can develop will serve you much better when you step back and see the PATTERN. and it is physics, at that point, not psychology.

humans, by our very nature, are rather weak. our ego is the biggest enemy in the face of living honestly and healthily. if we understand that we are programmed with fear, and with fear-based beliefs based on the experiences of others from day one, we can start to understand how/why a person will automatically behave the way that they do.

when we are surrounded with LIKE, we do not see the need for change. when we are surrounded with CONTRAST, we are forced to bend and shift. when we can no longer bend and shift to match the bullshit of our environment be it family, friends, society and otherwise, we are pushed to the brink of an awakening. some of us move through that awakening, and some of us resist it. what resistance looks like is a person who STAYS in their environment either physically or emotionally, and continues trying to paint themselves in the light that the majority sees them in. a person may continue to do this and continue to suffer, but be too weak or too blinded to see that what they are doing is in such contrast to where they initially began at birth. they are conforming to the intense pressure and need for others to label them so that their early ego can validate their viewpoint. the problem is, when the viewpoint is SO off kilter in contrast to where we exist on a soul level, the ego will continuously vomit itself up and up again and again to try to die – and the more we repeat the pattern that does not belong to us, is not organic to us but is rather dynamic in that it was ASSIGNED TO US – until we die physically or spiritually. physically we might die by illness (after all, if our ego agrees to someone else’s opinion, our body must match such), by another attack or by suicide. if we make it to old age with these falsely held beliefs, we will be like robots – totally detached from our bodies and spirits. I have seen a lot of these people out in the world. if we reach the point of death while still physically alive, also known as an ego death, we can begin to make rational and simple (not easy, but simple) decisions about how we want to live in the future.

I can not even adequately express the value that I see in people who have been victims of not just abuse, but of the entirety of tribal shame. again, I think of the words “this must be a joke”. the power of the rotten ego to label, shame and discard a person repeatedly is intense. it takes a very sick group of people to target a very healthy person. yet, I see this over and over and over again in my practice! doing case studies on these individuals is super important, and developing a PTSD model for them specific to tribal shame is an endeavor of mine.

if you are the target of tribal shame, I would like to reiterate one thing: in order for them to feel ok, to get on with their day, to even exist in such contrast to who you ARE, then you MUST have something wrong with you. does that make sense? it would not be logical, under any circumstances, for someone to paint you in light when they live in darkness themselves. it is not how it works. we can NOT perceive that which we are not a match to in vibration; therefore we will continue, time and time again, to paint someone in our own actual shade of light – which may not be accurate. two energies of different vibrations MUST be the same in order to share space — physical space, energetic space, emotional space, or any space of communication. if you are the one standout variable, there is just no way that the majority will allow you to be “ok”. because to them, if you are “ok”, then they must be sick/wrong/etc. it can be no other way.

the notion of healing and forgiveness, by the way, is completely separate from this particular blog post. I absolutely believe in the art of personal healing and forgiveness and it has nothing to do with another person’s behavior. healing and forgiving is actually the state of ACCEPTANCE of another person – exactly the way that they are. so if there are people in your life who are cruel and unusual toward you, ACCEPT THEM IN THAT WAY. once you do this, you will not feel the need to change or prove yourself to them or anyone else ever again. most people never reach this stage, because the conditioning of the ego as a victim, a wrong-doer, a scapegoat, a blacksheep etc is just…..too….strong. it has rehearsed itself over and over upon the premise that there is something wrong with it, and therefore it seeks to validate that. but it doesn’t have to be that way if we can actually accept those around us! even in their sickness and dysfunctional and nasty ways. HOWEVER: forgiveness and acceptance by no means mandates that you need to spend time with or communicate with people who have treated and/or continue to treat you like shit. in fact, personally, when I reach a full blown stage of acceptance of another person who is not kind toward me, I can finally accept them and let go of them. the need for them in my life to be different and therefore the need for me in my life to be different has totally left. this is the sweet spot of self-liberation. also, it is in that space and ONLY in that space that if another person who has lived a certain way for so long DOES have the capacity to see your truth or value, that they then even have the opportunity to do so. don’t hold your breath for it to happen, but also know that this might be the only space for such growth in another person as they relate to you to occur.

the land of opposites: this is the land that we live in before we “give up the story”, before we let go of tribal shame. for every negative action or word that we have witnessed at the hand or mouth of another person, we can now be CERTAIN that we are actually the opposite to that former “truth”. because – physics. again, in order for a person to continue living in their sea of dysfunction, we MUST match that reality for them to continue living as they do. we must be sick, “not ok”, unhinged, weird, a failure, sickly, troublesome, etc. never ever can a person or group of persons, in the position of shaming, admit that it might be something wrong with THEM. it is sickness at it’s finest. however, when we break that pattern of engagement with them, we create the opportunity to see ourselves as we ARE.

a funny thing happens to each of my patients who has been a victim of tribal shame; as they heal and move forward — in WHICHEVER way is best for them (for some of them it is a total disconnect from their tribe, for others of them it is a little space and time, and for others it might be something different) — each of them wakes up to their TRUTH. truth can NEVER be destroyed. it is ALWAYS under the surface, waiting to be revealed. the land of opposites is a real revelation at this point, as we begin to see that every horrendous word or behavior applied toward us is the opposite to our truth. for example; I have treated people who were incredible artists. what did the land of opposites and their tribe teach them? that they were terrible artists. terrible dancers. terrible singers. anything that was the opposite to their intrinsic talents and gifts was a ploy used by their tribe to keep them down. and again, why were they kept down? because they were different (again reference my blog on why we are attacked). humans do not like what they can not understand. period. there is such a lack of mental, emotional and spiritual tolerance for it, and humans are conditioned to separate versus unify. what looks familiar in appearance or behavior is safe; what looks unfamiliar in appearance or behavior is threatening. because as a species we are so asleep at the wheel and can not move past 3d, we judge and separate and isolate due to innate and carnal fear. fortunately, during now current times a la 2016, we have something called consciousness that is spreading like wildfire across our planet…and truths will not stay hidden the way that they used to. this is also due to evolution and our planet moving from 3d to 4d to 5d and so on – old truths and ways of being just will not contain themselves in the current and future realities that we are experiencing.

the best that any of my patients who has been through tribal shaming can do is give up the pipe dream of ever being seen for who they are. this requires a tremendous amount of courage, ego death and so on. but it is practical and efficient. it is only in the space of egoic detachment that we can ever even see the truth rise. it will not matter what you do, how much you achieve, what you look like, who you marry, how rich or successful you are, how many people you help, and so on — when others are locked in their own ego state with how things HAVE to be in order for them to continue living the way that they always have, it will not matter what you do. it might amaze you, and the people around you, that this is even a reality for you with others. I am absolutely shellshocked — and I tell you, shellshocked — each time I meet a new incredible soul who has been the recipient of tribal shame. it is just so unbelievable as to the intrinsic value and quality that the people I see hold, and how another human would have to absolutely go out of their way to see something else in them. it boggles my mind every time, though I know the deeper physics and psychological reasons for such.

I will say it one more time. if you come from an abusive family, particularly a family who exists in it’s entirety of seeing you as someone who is inherently so much less than who you are, I urge you to consider the land of opposites. it might be hard for your ego to take, because you might be addicted to finding something wrong with you…and it might actually hurt the MOST to find out that there was never anything wrong in the first place. this can be the harshest reality check of all time. because then we have to mourn an identity that we bought into about ourselves that was never real. but STOP making it real, please. I send so much love to anyone in this position, and I let you know that there are many, many others who have been through the same. I hope you will choose to surrender what you have been trained on, and surrender the bars of others’ deficiencies that you have been locked behind for so long.

BEWARE OF TRIBAL SHAME!Dear Ones -OK, my friends — this will be a long post! In fact, this will be the longest…

Posted by Elizabeth Gilbert on Friday, April 10, 2015


when our life is in chaos / when we are stuck, it is because we are NOT LISTENING


when our life is in chaos / when we are stuck, it is because we are NOT LISTENING

this is of course not to be confused with the nuances of a dark night of the soul or a spiritual awakening. both states of which I have written about in a prior post. we can STILL be in a dark night or an awakening and liberate ourselves from nonstop chaos or stuckness, simultaneously navigating the states. in fact, that often happens during a dark night or an awakening specifically for that purpose – to wake us up and liberate us. if we don’t listen, our life stays in chaos and things just keep “happening TO” us (no such thing) or we are “just stuck” (no such thing). everything that we do inside reflects on the outside of our life.

for example; perhaps I used to live a certain way, where everything was chaotic. all of the time. that was all I knew. it was completely normal, if not necessary! let’s say I spend many years “fixing” that, working on it. perhaps I fix all of the exterior components and I am doing a good job. in other words, I am becoming successful at shifting my patterns and thus reality! but then one day, maybe I receive an added spontaneous healing or somebody really shifts my energy, and all of the sudden that old pattern comes up and out (please see my recent blog post on why we repeat patterns to help assist this blog post here).. what is happening is that we have yes, indeed shifted our life successfully – and now we are briefly experiencing and seeing that old nasty wart that is a spore of a pattern, leaving. so maybe I “randomly” or suddenly attract a chaotic situation or person into my life to SHOW me that I have actually completely transcended that pattern. this is what I refer to as an “echo” in my pattern blog. WE SEE THE PATTERN LEAVE – don’t confuse the past leaving with the present being. perhaps I used to attract people who didn’t appreciate me, but I stayed in those relationships / friendships because I was committed to being liked – and then I work hard and change all of that, but years later I attract that same kind of person and they are (suddenly, by the way, echoes are not year long lessons!) evicted from my life like a tornado. it may seem sudden, too, but that is the nature of echoes. or there may be multiple people and situations that are echoes to show us the old dead root(s) making their way out.

but let’s say that we have not made it to the echo stage, and our life is in chaos or stuckness: WE ARE NOT LISTENING TO THE LESSONS. I’ve seen it constantly. especially with highly or exceptionally intelligent individuals (the worst kind in terms of being open to self help, making themselves vulnerable, admitting that maybe they are not perfect). or, I see it especially with very young people. until they are hit over the head time and time again, they will, like children, blame the outer world and everyone in it for their problems. even though they are causing them. and I feel for these children – because I was one of them. I knew no other way to live in darker times, and so of COURSE I thought that things were happening “to” me! a series of wake up calls were necessary to force me to pause. and I will be clear by saying that when we are in this state, we are not doing anything “wrong”… we are actually doing our best until we truly begin to suffer the ego death. ego death, in my experience, truly does not happen until the late 20s of someone’s life. typically it is what is referred to, also, as a “mid-life crisis” – however it is happening earlier and earlier these days (*another blog coming on earth’s ascension as the explanation). if we are not merely young and inexperienced and awake to the fact that this world and the people in it DO NOT OWE US SOMETHING (gosh, how many times have I seen that?), then we are choosing — CHOOSING — to not listen. why might we do this? many reasons, but they all drill down to a deep seated FEAR (*another blog coming on why people are not successful). the ego is a tricky place and we are afraid of seeing who we truly are. it is SO much easier (short term only!!!!) to blame 1) our surroundings (which, by the way, there is no logical explanation for other than WE PUT OURSELVES THERE) 2) our astrology chart or a bunch of psychic readings (this should be another blog – I can’t tell you how many “intelligent” people I know who have basically put their life on hold so that someone else can give them answers, i.e. avoiding taking ANY responsibility for their own life) 3) their health (this also stems from the subconscious mind, and it also does not prevent us from LISTENING, but many people use this as a perfect excuse as to why they “can’t” do xyz – perhaps another blog on a list of people with true illnesses and how they were still remarkable) 4) their past or their families .. and so on.

with the above excuses, we allow ourselves to remain in chaos and stuckness. because the truth is, if we actually looked within, we would be forced to change something. we would be forced to identify EMOTION (emotion = energy in motion!). vulnerability is the essence of sharing emotion or energy in motion. if we can not do that, the energy stays stuck and then some. here are a few things that I notice people who are in chaos or stuck are simply NOT willing to change: 1) VULNERABILITY 2) VULNERABILITY 3) VULNERABILITY. actually, it is the same reason we are not successful in life. when we make ourselves vulnerable, we are forced to actually communicate deeply, openly and honestly with others. it is in that space that we find our own personal misalignment, instead of pretending we are perfect or not afraid. in a state of true vulnerability we are forced to move out of intellect, and share our innermost concerns with others. when we make ourselves vulnerable, WE RISK NOT BEING PERFECT OR BEING SEEN AS PERFECT. I can’t tell you how many people can’t give this one up. I know people with mental health degrees who absolutely can not get their life together, all because they will not risk the feelings involved with taking a risk and getting something wrong. when we make ourselves vulnerable, we are not waiting for someone else to launch our project – we do it ourselves, risking vulnerability. when we make ourselves vulnerable, we have to say how we really FEEL. when we make ourselves vulnerable, we risk other people being upset with us. when we make ourselves vulnerable, we actually have a chance to have quality social interactions. many of the people I know of who have had severe issues with stuckness or chaos truly can not / will not open themselves properly to others. they have very few meaningful relationships (usually born out of total codependency) and resent those who have many friends and acquaintances. the only difference between them and another person in that department is the willingness to be vulnerable – which encompasses everything I listed above.

if you are reading this and think to yourself “but I DO make myself vulnerable and my life is still in chaos or stuckness”, I would say think again. do some research on what true vulnerability and transparency is. and do not beat yourself up. teal swan has a number of videos on spiritual bypassing (chaos and stuckness can be a byproduct of spiritual bypassing) and emotional openness. none of us were given the perfect manual in life, but if we remain in any one repeated situation socially, with authority, in our physical surroundings, with our health or with our dreams being frozen, we MUST look within. DEEPER. differently. we must allow the world to access us emotionally and be willing to be EXPOSED. do you know that people fear being judged more than they fear dying?

“I’m just this way, this is how I do things”…oh, really? how is that working out for you? when I find myself saying “I’m just this way”, but the situation that is being reflected back at me is not pleasing, I have to find the emotion that makes me be “this way”. that emotion rarely wants to be revealed. I might be afraid of being disliked and so I don’t express myself properly – hence creating total chaos -, or I may fear abandonment and so I recreate a situation for myself where someone abandons me so that I don’t need to risk experiencing it at the hands of THEIR will… in essence I’ve already done it for them so that at least I am in control. it’s amazing how quickly we knee-jerk these old behaviors without even catching them. beneath them are FEELINGS. avoiding feelings will keep us in chaos and stuckness.

additionally, there may be simple (not easy, but yes simple) lifestyle changes that we are being called to make, but we are too lazy to make. again, we may even use logic to justify not making these decisions! for me, I had to drop meat and milk. yes, this changed my life. no, many people do not buy into it and completely ignore their indulgence and wonder why they are not well. for me, I had to sweat every single day and make working out and stretching one of my number one focuses. yes, this also changed my life. yes, it was hard, yes, I still have to DRAG myself to yoga or to workout. no, many people do not want to do this or think that they can do this. yes, it will indeed SHIFT energy enough to get the conscious mind PRESENT (not past or future). without incorporating our body, we are STUCK in either the past or the future. but, humans are lazy and have many excuses. it amazes me to see “vegan” humans who do not work out. “I walk”, they say. not good enough. sub par. they will stay stuck, especially if they rely heavily on logic. nutrition and workouts changed my life and continue to change it, through dropping chemical intake and forcing my MIND into the present moment. it is akin to meditation. many people are too lazy to meditate. 10 minutes of meditation per day could change a person’s life. no, people do not want to believe that, and they stay stuck. try and find the bogus thought that prevents you from taking care of your mind and spirit with both nutrition and movement. (there is a reason that many of the most successful people on our planet are vegan, by the way – but veganism alone will not fix the body or mind or spirit). there is no bypassing the mind-body-spirit connection to becoming healthy in mind, body and spirit.

do not judge yourself if you have been going through rocky or stuck times. the ongoing nature of it is trying to tell you something. if you are having upset after upset, or groundhog day and you can’t take it anymore, there is something deep in the subconscious that is trying to wake you up. it is your programming that is being tapped at. LISTEN. we do not get to bypass anything in life, whether it is our desire to be “exceptional” or completely conventional (neither is better nor worse than the other). even IF the chaos and stuckness is related to your dark night or awakening, it does not have to be ABSOLUTE! it is NOT a complete byproduct of your dark night or awakening — THOUGHT COMES FIRST. be careful not to BLAME your circumstances on EXTERIOR causes. so whilst the two themes of chaos/stuckness and awakening might be related, the subconscious mind and it’s way of thinking is still precipitating our life’s circumstances. we still have free will and choices during that time. and the dark night and awakening states are ALWAYS precipitated by ego that needs to DIE! so there is your answer right there. stop looking around, and look within. you will not completely find your answer in any psychic, advisor, healer, astrologer, body worker, dream state, etc. sorry, but there is no escape from giving the ego and subconscious conditioning a good, hard look. I’ve been there. it’s not easy. but is is worth it. it may feel worse than death to you, but if you truly want out of chaos or stuckness then MAKE YOURSELF VULNERABLE so that you can find the driving spore of difficulty in the first place. and I don’t care who you are or how smart or evolved you think you are: if your life is in chaos or stuckness, you are somehow avoiding healthy vulnerability.


a pattern will echo before it leaves you / you leave it for good


often, just when I think that I have demolished a pattern or a pattern has demolished me, it pops up for one last death grip like boney fingers through soil. what might this look like?

well here is an example. I had a pattern attracting passive aggressive people of all kinds, and selfish, manipulative people of all kinds. heck, I didn’t even know they were unhealthy people and patterns! the feelings were so natural to me to experience. but it obviously did not sit well in my soul, nonetheless. and there was an expiration date on that behavioral rotting milk carton. when I say all kinds, I mean all extremes. so, some were severe as in sociopathic or narcissistic, and some were mild as in they omitted information to suit themselves (under their own delusion or guise of benefiting / suiting others). I will note, for the record, that I am not perfect nor never have I been perfect. for the intent of this blog I am merely looking at this from one angle.

relative to a previous blog where I mention how patterns actually get ingrained (like computer microchips and computer programs in our bodies which are analogies for computers), I will reiterate that they run deeply and supersede the conscious mind. patterns hang out in the shadows, in the subconscious mind. in the basement. where no one wants to go. where the light don’t shine. therefore patterns of a very early and primal childhoodesque proportion will often not see the light of day until we are so uncomfortable that we are forced to confront them. clearly the pattern itself doesn’t present itself on the table, but rather through a person.

a pattern will echo before it leaves you / you leave it for good. a pattern is the lesson, and an echo is the test to see whether we have passed the lesson. what does this mean? it means that all of the hard work, all of the full moon and new moon rituals, all of the meditating and reading and all of the “law of attraction” “work” that we have done suddenly appears to fail in an instant when we are confronted with the template of an old pattern that we despise. this is called an echo. an echo occurs after we have done alllllll of the heavy lifting and we are certain that we are ready for the “NEW”. the new friend, the new romantic partner, the new business partner, even the new mailman. this can be particularly frustrating, because it can come out of the blue  years after the last time we even saw evidence of the pattern.

for example. let’s combine my old pattern of attracting a passive aggressive romantic partner with another old pattern of attracting  a manipulative friend or colleague, and roll that all into one person. what it might look like is an individual (of any variety — platonic, romantic, etc) who has trouble saying what they REALLY want or what they REALLY think because they are a people pleaser. however at the same time, what they REALLY want and what they REALLY think is that they want to and need to have things their own way at any cost. this might birth itself from a variety of primal conditions; controlling parents, abusive experiences at the hands of authority, a lack of love or attention and so on. and let’s call this pattern rolled into said particular person a mild case. a mild case would be a classic ECHO because it would not be super obvious at first encounter. meaning we would never guess that this person had shreds of this old, hated-by-us pattern in them. it would be a snake in the grass – not a poisonous one, but a garden snake, large enough perhaps to stress us out every time we wanted to talk barefoot in our yard. this garden snake might sneak in initially and therefore have a chance at being the ECHO of our old pattern. for example; this person might force us to take charge or take action because they don’t want to be the bad guy and declare what they want or where they stand. then they will become a victim when we speak our feelings. this is passive aggressive. this person might change their plans on us at the final moment, but mask it with some kind of idea about how it is “better for you” or that they were “thinking of you” in doing so. that is manipulation. a mild case would involve someone who seems flexible in molding to our distaste for said patterns, versus a serious case where it would involve someone who completely objects and calls us crazy for having any stance on their behavior. usually the serious cases are the old and formerly primally ingrained patterns, and the mild cases are the echoes. nearly equally annoying, yes.

it is important to note that an ECHO is akin to a “final departure” of said pattern. but … we can get so caught up in the echo that we end up mistaking it for a pattern and actually play INTO the pattern again, therefore recreating it all over again! this is a crucial point of examination.

so how do we step back and not play in, ensuring that it leaves us and we leave it for good? first, we must acknowledge it is indeed an echo. in my experience, there are some determining factors: 1) it comes out of the blue, nearly undetected, and seemingly harmless in nature at first 2) I want to slap myself because I have “already worked through this!!!! 3) the vessel in which it is brought to us is not as extreme as in previous cases (because it is a garden snake not a rattlesnake — still annoying, but not deadly). next, I must asses my own reaction. 1) am I responding in an identical fashion to prior lessons? 2) is there a chance that this person can still be in my life if I alter my response? if I can answer no to 1) and yes to 2), I know that is is an echo. however, it does not make it any less annoying or any less temporarily toxic. we may, indeed, decide to quit the echo person with the pattern. and that is a matter of choice. but what is important to focus on is the fact that we have responded differently and that this person is merely a mirror of the past coming up for departure. depending on how we manage the situation internally, we will get a feel for what we are willing to move forward with. frankly, I have always been a low tolerance person for repeating lessons and mistakes, so I am known for discarding all of the echoes whether they are “harmless” or not. I’m not sure I want to always continue on this path, but the way I see it is that if I learn the lesson and discard the pattern as well as manage the echo, there are way too many beautiful people and beautiful patterns to embrace to even put up with a shred of an old lesson. I have done too much work for such a shred to exist. this will boil down to self value. and remember: if you can not see / identify / make clear your value, absolutely no one else will either. it is unfortunate that we must be so clear on this for certain people to respect and not sidestep. and I have been fortunate to meet people who would never sidestep it!

sidenote: it is also important to consider; do I INSIST, due to my own damage or conditioning, on seeing this person in this light? am I completely unwavering in my ability to see goodness or the possibility for change and greatness because I am committed to seeing someone in an old, tainted light that does not belong to them? this is possible in the scenario of the echo, and only each of us can decide how much we are projecting the past, and how much of the present dynamic actually exists. this is an important one. because if we can successfully identify the echo, sometimes we see so clearly that the echo was a means to validate our old ego (which is also the point of the echo, to eradicate such, but it becomes very chicken and egg). to what degree is this an echo, and to what degree do we will insist on projecting an old experience? discerning intuition and real time present reality from a similar energy yet different experience in another timeline is so important. again, I note here in this blog the malleable echo and what one might choose to do with it. of course all things are a projection of where we are/were living, but we must walk the edge of discernment based on relative timelines.

whether we keep the echo person / pattern in our life or not, what we are managing is our response to such. when we create a new response, there is only a matter of time or a certain number of echoes that can actually show up before they disappear for good. once we have the response managed and the emotions mourned, we can move forward. for that which we DO NOT want makes clear what we do want. I always know I am “in the clear” when I have clearly identified what I do not want and begin to focus even louder on what I do want. I have to be willing to be clearly disappointed by people in order for this to happen. and it is ok to have a funeral for that which is merely an echo but so strongly resembles drama of the past. we can be private yet loud about it so as to own our own feelings but not overreact to the echo (the echo, by the way, will most often never be expecting a strong reaction from us, as they are more or less puppets from the universe being put in our path to assist us not torture us – so take it easy on the echoes and let your sea of emotions rip in an appropriate and mirrored environment. this kind of a self-reliant response, as well, is called passing the test of the echo).

what we will often see, after we have internally dealt with the emotions surrounding the echo yet also responded in a new an healthy manner to the echo, is that the echo is malleable enough that it actually responds in kind or reflects back to us our actual value. now I am not saying it is ok or that we have to let the echo in again. but those are characteristics of an echo, versus a core primal pattern, for sure. personally (I am very strong about who and what I want in my life because I know my intrinsic value), I never want to keep someone around on a close basis who would even show up as an echo. distant friends or acquaintances, sure. but not a close partner.

now quickly, why would I even NEED to have attracted this pattern in the first place? it always stems from learned behavior in primal conditions. so, if I were constantly set up to be the victim, I would later “need” to be victimized to suit my ego’s livelihood. this hangs out in the shadows of the subconscious. until it doesn’t. the mechanics and nuances behind such are in other blogs. but the point is, when I stop needing to be victimized in some way, those who do the victimizing will stop showing up. or, if I have already licked this pattern years ago and then the ECHO shows up, it is showing me evidence of the final crumbs coming off of the table. and I must be willing to have a funeral for my old need, thank it, wish it well, and then transmute it into dust. this can not be done by expecting some kind of response from the person emitting the echo, but rather from what I listed in a prior paragraph – it must come from acknowledging that I do not need these kinds of feelings living in me any longer.

a pattern will echo before it leave you / you leave it for good, and there may be a few echoes. so make sure you know the difference between a core pattern and an echo.





general updates on me, my practice and so forth

general updates on me, my practice and so forth

my practice has reached a point of expansion that is greater than I ever thought possible. when I “came out of the closet” with this work, I didn’t anticipate turning a 90 minute session into sessions that run 6, even 7 hours in rare instances. I have been tested on many fronts – with undiagnosed illnesses, severe PTSD cases, spiritual mysteries (tied to every single session, in fact), and a couple of unforeseen and thankfully now forgettable wild cards (the Universe decided to throw those people in to make sure I passed certain tests).

as the months and years have ticked by throughout my public practice, I have always been very careful about who I see and when. often it is not a question of organics, but of dynamics. what I mean by this is that sometimes a person is right for my sessions, but it may not be the right time to see them – I take this into account every single session. the rest is up to the free will of the individual, and thankfully my sessions have gone SWIMMINGLY well. I could not be more pleased.

over the last year or so, I have extended and expanded my one (I only do one session – no repeats now) session in terms of both time and accessibility to information and healing for an individual. the sessions have grown into roughly 10 hour ordeals; generally 5 hours in person, and a couple of 90 minute remote sessions the week post-session — with a set of notes, a conversation or three, and some back and forth emails. I have the good fortune of attracting people with boundaries, and so I am not bombarded by emails or phone calls every time they sneeze. it might sound simple, but weeding out that type of character in the world that I work in takes work – self work. if my own personal boundaries are not in tact, I had better not pick up that phone or call someone new back.. because I will attract exactly what is residing inside of me. a good healer knows who they are and where they are at all times. I always listen to my core, my inner voice. I have NEVER taken a session for the sake of having “work”. ever. not even back when my lights and phone were turned off and I couldn’t eat. so, when I choose to work with somebody, it speaks volumes about both of our personal processes.

I am currently in a space where I am not sure how much further I can take my gifts while maintaining them in their current format. meaning, the whole reason I am made the way I am made is due to my heart’s desire to help as many people as possible. currently my sessions are as long as I can possibly allow them to be, and I give as much as I POSSIBLY can post session to help someone. I am extremely pleased with everything. if I could take a session every single day, I would; sometimes I need to sleep for a couple of days just to release a difficult case (of which there are many).

so, a few things come to mind when I think about how to expand, and where I am currently at. I don’t desire to take more sessions per week, nor do I desire more phone calls (I am still actively trying to return calls from last year — which actually brings me to suggest that if you called and left only one message in the last month or three, and you know this is the right session for you, please leave another simple message with just your name and I will asterisk your name on my call sheet.. assuming it is the right time), yet I desire to create more. to fulfill this desire, I am writing more. I am writing a book, I am going to be content contributing to a TV show which mirrors aspects of my experience as a medical intuitive, and I may even go back to TV in a larger capacity. the main reason I ever got involved in multimedia in the first place is due to the fact that therein lies the greatest power / of suggestion — the power to make or break the subconscious psyche of millions. if we can do something positive with such a platform, and benefit the lives of others through our experience and words and actions, we must take such. that said, I will be tapering down sessions. at some point near the end of this year, I will no longer take sessions within the general public arena. it is my desire to personally or one on one assist those who affect millions of people, and it is also my desire to create a platform that directly impacts millions of people for the better. I will find and create the bridge between those two extremes.

building the above bridge is essential. today I saw an acupuncturist for the first time in five years. the woman I saw today is incredibly gifted. she noted how impacted I am by my work, and how much work it takes to recover from said sessions. I never want to reach burn out. I am not even close, by any means, but in order to stay so high 100% of the time (I will not take a session unless I am 100%), I must make THAT my full-time job as well. which I love, as it is generally incredible nutrition, little or no alcohol, intense workouts and sweat detoxes and mind care. everything I do revolves around choosing the healthiest thought, the healthiest feeling, the healthiest activity, and the healthiest person. I can build the best said bridge when I have the highest energy possible, and I am currently approaching the crossroad to such a bridge.

I have made many cuts and boundaries to my personal life this year. it became evident that I was engaging, out of sheer obligation, with people who did not and do not respect me as an individual. as many of us know, energy flows from top to bottom – period. when we dump energy into a black hole and it is not reciprocated, we wilt. I will not wilt. it is my job to be life and create life. the cuts and boundaries that I have created and continue to create are life saving. we all reach a certain point when our health and well being outweigh some bullshit idea of an obligatory relationship — whether it is someone we have been friends with since childhood, or whether it is a “family” member or blood relative. family is chosen, and we must choose wisely. when we allow someone into our lives on a consistent basis and accept highly toxic engagement with them (for example they gossip violently about you, lie about you, or force you to dim your light in some way), we are saying “YES” to that vibration. then, it shows up everywhere in our life! when we say “NO!!” to that vibration, we are ACCEPTING THE PERSON AS THEY ARE but not accepting the dynamic. let me be very clear about saying that discernment and doing what is healthy for oneself is not judgement – it is self care and self love. society is wildly sick in terms of what self care and self love really is. we can love, forgive and let go without living in judgement. we can love, forgive and let go without maintaining contact with someone who refuses to respect us.

I am jumping around quite a bit in this post because I want to cover a few things quickly and at exactly the same time, without dedicating long drawn out posts for each topic. the last thing that I will mention is the rampant change we are all faced with at this very moment. the energy or the “weather pattern” of the earth’s energy right now is one of decisions: who do you want to be? how do you want to live? remember, this is YOUR LIFE. no one else’s. you will leave it alone. you can share it with others, but you live it alone, too. the weather pattern right now is asking us to turn left or to turn right. to get straight with our belief systems about SELF. not the outside world, but about SELF. there is a very open energy at the moment, and it has no patience for mistakes. mistakes are just decisions that we actively repeat because we are lazy. nothing more. my advice to myself and everyone else is, get clear on who you want to be RIGHT NOW. act accordingly.

2016 is hands down THE most exciting year I have ever seen in my life. we have so much opportunity to create, and to change things at the drop of a dime. go be brave. if you don’t get a session with me (make sure you use the regular channel if you do want one — call and leave a message with just your name and no personal detail — do NOT text message me), I will be actively birthing several projects that will mutually benefit all of us. my book(s) should be complete this year, I plan to take multimedia by storm, and I plan to change many things (things that have needed changing for a long time) on a massive scale (details will begin emerging this year, but it is as big as it sounds) as they relate to spirit and science, planetary resources, animal welfare and human consciousness in general. I look forward to personally working with the next wave of incredible people. thank you for being part of my practice, even if we have never met in person.