the 3 reasons that people lie with gossip and worm-tongue

photo by Pia Venegas

1) they want to be the person that they are focused upon

2) they want to have that which the person they are focused upon has (note: this can be tangible or INTangible)

3) they have done something bad/questionable themselves toward the person they are focused upon, and they are projecting by distracting those around that person from their ugly truth

I woke up this morning to a call for support from someone who has been through this. I hear about this a lot, and see it a lot, in many different forums. depending upon the environment and the climate of such (corporate, hospitality, beauty, strictly social), the tactics will be different.

ruthless gossip/worm-tongue that is based on lies with the intention to achieve 1) 2) or 3) above is rooted in pure evil. but as we know (or don’t know), evil can appear — on the surface — as the opposite of evil. it is the dance of the devil. it can appear charming, charismatic, even pure. to the untrained eye, evil — as it pertains to this post — is well-meaning. it appears innocent, helpful, even victimized — AT FIRST. because evil in this context is not sustainable, there will always be an expiration point.

gosh, I think back to middle school and high school days. this happened to me a lot. I suppose it was training to spot and thwart that intention of others later on in life when it really counted. I think I do an OK job at it. I think that my spirit/being does an excellent job at thwarting it. each and every time this has been attempted in my direction, I hear of consequences the person/entity targeting me has faced — with zero involvement on my part. in fact, disengaging is key.

if this is happening to you, or has happened to you, you will feel crazy. because these people/this energy operates in an extremely insidious fashion. I have already written in detail about psychic attacks, so you may want to reference that article for a true in-depth understanding of what that is.

the people around you, secondary targets of the person’s motivation, ploys in their scheme, will not see it coming. the most incredible part about this is that I have seen great or even best friends be fooled by the ploy of a person with the intent to destroy because of reasons 1) 2) and 3). but again — only for a time. truth does always rise. but, what do you do if you are the target of this energy?

as I always say — the moment we engage, no matter how tempting, we have lost. when we engage — such as defend ourselves — we have lost. I know how frustrating it can be to just sit back. but I promise, that is the best disposition to maintain and let energy do what it does best (separate, ultimately, like oil and water, on its own).

this energy seeks not something tangible, but rather intangible. it serves to unbalance the otherwise balanced. it serves to divide and conquer. the evil of it works especially well in groups. have you ever seen a happy group of friends, suddenly and without reason destroyed by an outside force? that is the skilled doing of a controlling, lacking and desperate person/energy — but somehow this happens all of the time! it is evil working at its finest.

I’m not a Bible thumper, but there are a lot of good stories about this in the Bible. if you are allergic to religion, which I understand many people are, try flipping through the Bible for the stories alone. humans have been the same since the beginning of time. their tactics change. but their desires, in this context, to control via divide and conquer (using worm-tongue, gossip and so forth) will always remain.

again: if you are the target of this, it may be painful. for a time. for example: I had a close relative of mine telling people a couple of years ago that I was mentally ill. out of nowhere. but not really out of nowhere. they were in a desperate attempt with 3) in the opening paragraph. some people listened to them. some believed them. some still do. it was disconcerting, but I let it ride with no defense. and the tables began turning, the truth became stronger than anything else, as it always does.

it is important, more than anything, to understand the dynamic at play and what it is that someone would want from another person. my eBooklet about baiting others is helpful on this subject. once the dynamic is understood, there is peace in accepting what is without being confused. at that point we can surrender to what is, stay in our own lane, and allow the Universe to do the rest of the work.

I have worked with some of the most amazing people I could imagine working with, and I have heard the most unbelievable stories about how they have been targeted by pure evil. due to 1) 2) and 3). one of the most difficult and damaging evils is paired with the mass media or press. some of the most pure and innocent people have been taken down in this way, committed suicide, or conversely and thankfully, have held their power and risen. the point is, it happens a lot, and right now we are in the ultimate paradox of truth versus lies. this means that more and more, the truth will rise and have less of an ability to be eclipsed by darkness or division. this is out of sequence, but other examples are happy couples who were suddenly and baselessly destroyed…because of 1) 2) and 3). and, sometimes they can recover, but sometimes not.

my eBooklet on karma covers this rapid and almost desperate shift in energy that we are in, the disparity between light and dark — within ourselves, within those around us, and within the collective. I think in this regard it is important to hold a light for those around us who have been fooled, even if we have been the target, by someone with an issue relating to 1) 2) or 3). darkness can and does manifest as an illusion of truth — for a time. if you are going through this, hold light and space for those who don’t know better. or you could always give them the book Dancing The Dream by Sams! it talks a lot about veils and illusions. and, if you are surrounded by people who can not see the truth, and you feel so all alone, maybe it is just time to level up and surround yourself with those who have initiated beyond the veils covering evil and mal intent. because on some level it will always be there — but extracting yourself and making it to the next level of clarity is what your soul is calling for, whether you have been targeted yourself or you simply see it happening around you.


Healing Elaine® Movement: new updates and things to come – read carefully (past patients especially)

photo by Babita Patel

as I further dwindle down on sessions, my lifelong intentions begin to emerge in tangible form. the army of light emerges.

I write about my journey, because I want people to witness the raw and honest trajectory in years to come. in this way, it will be evident as to the process and truth of a movement. I write about things in advance to show integrity around what I am doing.

a lot of people talk. they “fight” causes online via computer, without any action. nothing ever happens to those causes, they only get further convoluted and spread negative energy. that said, I have been building certain teams of people behind the scenes for years now, some of whom are excited to talk and take action about things they have experienced that are not mainstream yet. as everyone who has read about how I work knows, I choose people based on a feeling and a timely instinct — not personality, background, characteristics or their exterior “human accolades”. in fact, I can’t stress enough how much I care about the intrinsic nature of a human versus their costumes (jobs, appearance, etc). hence, what has gestated is an incredible and constant soul thread throughout my book of business or patient base. this is the base I am working from for current and future projects.

last month I sat down with one of my CEOs and discussed many things. life’s purpose wise. because, that is what we are ALL searching for. one thing that came from that particular discussion was the idea to begin a focus group with some of my key industry leaders. the intention was to bring something forward that people are hungry for, but no one is doing — due to fear, of course. as humans we fear not death, not even going hungry, but being alone/judged — more than any other fear. my goal was and is and always will be to assemble groups based on personal authentic truth, which means people will choose their authentic nature over their fear at all costs. THIS, is how change occurs in society. change occurs in society because people are ready to live in their truth. the strongest and most impactful version of living in truth is someone who speaks and acts their truth. people are hungry for one thing and one thing only right now: TRUTH. and so there are ways to share that truth that have never been done before. this is what I am actively setting up.

and so of all of the doers I have come across over the years, I will continue to assemble groups of you based on your desire to take actionable steps into that truth in a way that assists others. it is the mission that we both mutually share: truth in terms of “other”. the only reason I am busy/successful with my practice is because I am real. I show my own truth because it is more important to me than my fear or ego. I am compassionate to the fact that that is a process for everyone, and that it can take some people years to land in that authentic zone. but right now I am focused on action.

what assists others is the opposite of an online hashtag, but rather a visible and actionable experience that others can have in order to feel less alone. so, I will be starting first with my industry leaders on this topic. we have already begun. if I have not reached out to you personally yet, it does not mean you are overlooked. it means there are so many people to reach out to or to have reach out to me, hence this post! and I have simply begun with key industry folks as it is easiest to organize that way. those who are ready to speak and be seen in their truth are what I am focused on bringing together, so I say this here because there are upwards of 2000 people I’ve worked with over the last decade: if you are interested in sharing your truth and your experience with “other”, or the unseen, or consciousness in ANY capacity, in an actionable fashion, contact me by leaving a voicemail on the business line (ONLY if we have worked together). *emails change and continue to change, and since I am not a lifer line to anyone I’ve worked with in the past, you may find that one email is no longer working whether you receive an auto message or not*. I am working strictly from the inside out here. the intention I speak of is the same one that you came to me for: truth and community. community and truth. you all wanted and want to live in a society in which you feel less alone, less “other”, and more connected. I am providing this opportunity via a very unique platform. it has never been done before. if you are waiting for it to be cool or mainstream first, this is not the platform for you. because it will get there first without convenient or “trending” interest.

the thing about things that have been been done before, is that they seem crazy or stupid at first — to most people. ironically, or not, and I speak about this often, the craziest ideas are “thought up” and then executed by the most successful people on our planet who have contributed majorly to humanity. people laughed at them…AT FIRST. people criticized them…AT FIRST. then…they wanted to join them because society says “it’s ok”. what I will avoid every step of the way is working with people who are waiting for societal permission. I will always know where someone is coming from and why, and what their motivations are. this time right now is the critical period for organizing that authenticity. I won’t sell people on who is already involved, because then I won’t know why they are really involved. intention is everything.

this is not an idea, this is a movement. I felt this storm coming as of two and a half years ago in particular (summer of 2016 was LOUD, pre-election), and resoundingly last fall, as I announced that I would be stopping sessions. and as cryptic as this blog post may sound, those of you who I have worked with will get it. and those of you who I have worked with who are ready to share your truth with this movement can reach out and I will organize you or have my chief of staff organize you alongside this trajectory and fill you in as it unfolds.

I am so excited for what is to come. I have had countless meetings over the past few weeks about the above, with people who really get me and get “it”. not surprisingly, over the past week, we have each felt a heart chakra opening — no doubt connected to this upcoming trajectory — that was overwhelming. I am still in awe of the energy I feel throughout my body as I decided to pull the trigger on this initiative which, like I said, has been a lifetime of work and focus. particularly the past decade. it is time, the collective is ready (for most of it).


people will go to therapy or healers to NOT heal – how to spot/handle them

photo by Anita Saini

some people will go to therapy or healers, specifically to NOT heal.

this is a dangerous breed. this breed is specifically focused on blame — finger-pointing, exploiting, and causing emotional destruction of others which they will then lap up vampirically. this breed, unfortunately, does not know how to function any other way. they get their very life blood from that of others. call them narcissists, call them trolls, call them active addicts, call them whatever you want — every therapist and seasoned healer out there has seen them. if you are a new healer or therapist, typically no amount of training or preparation can fortify your readiness to deal with a person who sees you with the intent (conscious or unconscious) to NOT heal.

at this juncture in my career, I can typically spot one of these people miles away — to the point where they would never walk through my door. however, I have missed certain signs (it’s how we learn! from experience, more so than information), which ended up being curses turned blessings. they were curses because I had to deal with unwanted and certainly unwarranted bullshit. they were blessings because what I learned was priceless; those learnings are gifts that keep on giving, making my focus tighter and my resilience stronger.

I wrote a couple of months back about spotting a sociopath – this post will have similar but also different aspects to it. the fundamental difference being that the people who go to therapy or healers to NOT heal tend to be severe codependents, active addicts, and chronically ill (for pleasure — yes, this exists).

one of the major identifying flags of a person who will go to therapy or healers to NOT heal is that they have been in and out of treatment centers (with no growth or positive narrative to speak of), healer hopped, or therapist hopped to no avail. to boot, they will complain endlessly about the fact that no one can help them. this is because they truly, truly — no matter how charming they may be, and how much they try to fool you — do NOT want to heal. they have been afforded the luxury, somehow, of using others by exhausting them. this is toxic and vampiric on the most fundamental level because they are depleting your life force by their very breath. nothing will ever, ever change or be different with these people, so if you have a history of trying to change toxic people in your life, be extra careful — you are the most susceptible to their mission.

a second identifying flag of a person who will go to therapy or healers to NOT heal is that they will often spend someone ELSE’S money to pay for the session(s). then, they will complain about the cost, or suggest general discomfort with it, or with money in general. the kicker here, of course, is that it will usually NOT be their own money that they are spending. this allows them to continue to be extra unaccountable, and blame / use others. sometimes it will be their parents’ money, or they will be supported by their parents (even as middle-aged adults), or they will get their business or some other 3rd party to pay for it. pay extra attention to who is funding the session and why.

a third identifying flag of a person who will go to therapy or healers to NOT heal is that they will sound incredibly childlike, or give very passive responses or ask very passive questions like a child would; again, they are accountable for almost nothing in their life, and that will not change as they approach you for “help”. adult baby-voice, implied helplessness, etc are cues to listen for. if you vet people (like I do), instead of allowing them to just book with you, you will notice that they sound as if they have ZERO control over their life — that is because they are looking for someone to assign that control to (YOU — and then to blame you for it!).

a fourth identifying flag of a person who will go to therapy or healers to NOT heal will start right when you meet this person, or just before you meet them — they will immediately twist and turn your suggestions into their own self-injury (commonly seen with active addictions/disorders). because they are completely incapable of owning ANY of their actions, their assault on you will begin before your work even takes place. they might insert small statements into the conversation such as “you said I could do xyz (that is totally detrimental to their well-being)”, in order to set the tone of blame from the beginning. this will only escalate later, into full-on blame for any other number of things. for example: an addict of any sort will suggest that you have supported or given the green light to their addiction in some way, that is then in-turn hurting them. in this way, they are not doing it, YOU are doing it, and you have failed them. remember also: YOU ARE NOT A TREATMENT CENTER. this is why I have strong disclaimers everywhere, in the event I have the unfortunate experience of attracting an active addict with a core of charcoal. *note: some of the best people I know are recovering addicts, with the core of love — spotting the core, as in dark or light, is KEY.

a fifth identifying flag of a person who will go to therapy or healers to NOT heal is their abuse of your time and boundaries. a person of this nature has none, they don’t care that they have none because people have let them do whatever they want (often they are spoiled with money, have a trust fund to fall back on, or some other bailout that they have manipulated). they will contact you at odd hours, not respond to YOU when you have arranged times to speak, etc. think of a toddler in a nonstop tantrum – this is the person who is engaging with you simply to suck the very life force out of you, blame you, and then move on. remember: no matter how much time you spend with this person, you will end up the villain no matter what you do.

a sixth identifying flag of a person who will go to therapy or healers to NOT heal is their intense fear of abandonment. again — call them borderlines, call them narcissists, addicts, or whatever (usually people exist in a cocktail of more than one of the above at once) — they refuse to navigate life independently, because they are living off of the fumes of others. they do not care about others. there is not a shred of ability to relate to another human being, or what might be difficult for others. they will NEVER say “so, how are you doing?”. if there is a shred of ability to have compassion, they do not use it. they use others – constantly. they will do this by paying people (abusing employees who are financially dependent upon them, and confusing the roles in the relationship) or creating scenarios in which they are in control and others are in some way dependent upon them.

on a physics level, dealing with a person of this nature is highly toxic and highly dangerous. I will tell a true story about this. a therapist I know told me of a person who came to them for “help” at one time. upon their first meeting with this person, this therapist literally heard a voice that said, warning them, and without explanation “if you work with this person again, you will die”. I remember them telling me that, and I said, “so, how do you mean?” — they said “I knew I would die, physically, if I ever saw this person again”. they literally felt the physics of energy spilling from top to bottom, into a bottomless black pit, before it went there. so, they found a reason to not see this patient again. they then discovered something equally alarming: that their had-been prospective patient’s past few therapists had ALL died within months of working with this person (again: PHYSICS. energy flows from top to bottom). additionally alarming was the following: this obsessed person began writing in blood to the therapist. this was the ultimate act of the desire to emotionally extract from another person — because when someone has the ability to emotionally extract from us, meaning we have a reaction, they are able to feast on that fresh blood, for a time, whether they are near or far. so, forget about physical proximity here! ultimately, though, when we do not engage with them, they run out and find a new source. anyhow, this therapist did exactly the pro thing: they continued throwing out these letters, instead of engaging with them or even speaking to authorities about them. this therapist was seasoned enough with the crazies to know that NO amount of engagement could assist what was happening. it was ultimately either the therapist, or this crazy person — because, what was happening, was this person was being threatened in the most aggressive form of psychological warfare, that likely many therapists would have fallen for (and died, just like the ones who preceded this therapist).

so, why did the other therapists die? my conclusion is as simple and direct as the message in most of my posts: we become what we focus on. PERIOD. when a crazy person is baiting you, the best thing, the ONLY thing to do, is GET AWAY. this will not be easy if you have pride or something to prove. apparently, the professionals who died could not turn away from the tricks (or charm?) of this sick person. perhaps they did not understand physics and became caught in the human trap that we are all susceptible to — pathological compassion. compassion is a true danger zone when dealing with a person who absolutely has no intention of healing (despite what they tell you, OR themselves), and you must extract yourself at all costs. knowing the difference between a tough case such as a good but suffering soul, and an intrinsically inconsolable and pathologically dark soul, is very, very important. fortunately, I have dealt with enough crazy people in my life to spot the difference. no amount of threats, extortion attempts or otherwise could get me to engage with this energy. those therapists died because they had something to prove — either emotionally or professionally — to themselves. ego is a danger zone when we are working like this. our health must trump our reputation. our self-knowing must trump our fear of what others think. or else, we die.

the interesting fact is that the way someone comes into your office, whatever their initial intention is, is the SAME intention they are leaving with. no matter what you do! they are either there to help themselves, or to hurt you. there really is no in between. people lie to themselves all day long. about many things. spotting this becomes your greatest asset, so that you can spend time on people who really do want to be better.

I have given added time and energy, far beyond the scope of my session fee, to EVERY single patient I have ever seen. hands-down. hand-on-bible truth. I always go beyond what I promise, because I care. and I LOVE to do it. and fortunately, I’ve only dealt with a small handful of (textbook) crazy people. the irony is, when you are working with someone who truly intends to better themselves, an extra hour or even 10 hours feels not so extra. and the irony is also, in my experience, the craziest people were those I gave the MOST to yet they blamed me for something. I learned several years ago, after dealing with a classic crazy (this person sued people for a living, I later found out — doctors, lawyers, anyone — they carried with them to their session heavy bags of legal papers, “just in case” I discovered at the end of it!) that no amount of attention can soothe this disposition. I learned that ultimately, no matter what I did, their intention was to NOT heal. this is how they get their blood. and as soon as I disconnected and allowed them to have their tantrum (directed at me, which did NOT help them by the way, talk about karma), they moved on to the next target, except not so well because they had damaged themselves by attempting to damage me.

one thing I want to point out is that as healers become a replacement for a lot of therapy, we need to remember that we are not trained the way that traditional therapists are trained. we need to find a way to fill in the blanks. for example; I have a fantastic medical/intellectual property attorney who I have been working with for a number of years, as well as tremendous mental health professional mentors nearly twice my age. I see my own therapist. I feel equipped because I have supported myself with the essentials. nothing anyone does to hurt me will ever truly hurt me, even if it temporarily hurts my heart. even that, though, is less and less as I see the true nature of a soul. as healers, we need to be sure that we are healed. spiritual bypassing is not an option here, and neither is overcompensating with intellectual (or other) accolades. the fact is, working as a healer is still unchartered territory with little “evidence” or measurement to back it up. this means that excellent boundaries, self-knowing, and practical protection from what is beyond our control is paramount. being a healer is not the same thing as being a therapist. yet the two roles often get confused, and hence important gaps between the two must be bridged.

the final reinforcing lesson that I have learned from my experiences is that under no circumstances do you defend the truth in the case of dealing with a crazy person, or a person whose intention is to see you and not heal. that defense will only bleed needlessly, into a black hole. those who connect to truth will see you. those who connect to darkness will connect…to darkness. be compassionate, but under no circumstances do you feed that beast with defense. your only actual defense is to take YOUR energy back, quietly and with pure faith. ultimately, when the beast/extortionist/troll is tired, they will move on. and they will be so far under your feet, you will no longer worry about being attacked/eaten/weakened because you have a bleeding heart.

the intention of a person seeing a therapist or healer will always be one of two things: 1) to heal thyself 2) to blame someone else (under the guise of healing thyself). I hope this is helpful to the other sensitives like me, who walk this earth to empower others.


what I do is different from “Reiki”

photo by Anita Saini

when I came out of the closet with my healing work, I could not think of another word that would resonate with “what” it is that I do — so I chose the word Reiki. when I made my first business cards in 2011, I still had not been “Reiki” certified. sure, I had previously been “attuned” by a number of healers. when I moved to my first city post-college, I just so happened to move next to the largest healing institute in our country. somehow, though, I was just not drawn there. perhaps for reasons I ran from the “spiritual” community years later in NYC (some details can be found in other blog posts). who knows. I knew I did not need such “certifications” to do my work, but I felt that it was handy to have since some people knew what Reiki was and could put me in some kind of a box after presenting such. I felt that some people would want to know “who I studied with” etc, as if one can even study what it is that I do.

after many of my sessions, people will say to me — “that was not Reiki”. I never aimed to do something different or better or worse than some societal healing standard or status quo that people had in mind or heart, but I recognize that what I do is different. it doesn’t come from something I studied or something that someone has said to me, rather it comes from my core. it is something that has come through my very being since I was a little girl. I used it on my animals when I was young, and most notably perhaps on boyfriends or friends around my late teens and college age. when I say notably, that is when people would tell me “you fixed xyz for me”, and it was supported by our conversation prior to me “fixing” xyz. let me explain what I mean when I say “came through my very being” and “I used it”…

what would come through my very being was a strong, unconditional and almost uncontrollable unconditional love. I am not claiming to live in that emotional and psychological state all of the time. what I am saying, is that what I would find emanating through my core at random times, and even during times of abuse directed at me, was a palpable urge to share my heart in a way that would help someone access their own alignment. at times, there were people who did not want to be in alignment, or could not be in alignment for whatever reason. I recall dating a young man who was a compulsive liar. this was actually around the time of the Scott Peterson murder case. they even looked a little bit alike. I recall dating him and making odd unconscious references to a likeness between him and Scott. like their mannerisms, their “good guy” reputations separate from their actions. this boyfriend was also rather interested in my book collection, particularly Scott Peck’s book called “People Of The Lie”. he borrowed that book and never returned it. looking back, I think he was trying to understand where his own evil came from. evil that he could not control. he might have been one of the most misaligned people I have ever met, though by outside appearances like most sociopaths, he felt extremely aligned and charismatic — and, oddly, very kind. anyhow, the overwhelming unconditional love that would emanate from my core as it pertained to him, which was also obviously associated with me learning a spiritual lesson, was palpable. he looked at me one day and said “you are so unconditional”, as if he struggled deeply to understand my disposition (one that felt totally normal and natural to me, I didn’t try to be “unconditional”). and this comment came right after he had rejected me terribly. it was as if he was trying to understand the difference between light and dark. I still believe he is dark (I ran into him not too long ago, and made an effort not to eye contact him or touch him). and, sometimes the best way to thwart the dark is to understand it, so as to no longer be afraid of it (while staying away from it) and not judge it. dark has its own perspective. that’s kind of an advanced notion and quite the digression though…

when I was a little girl, a love so strong that I could barely contain it, would emanate from my core to the point in which I wanted to reach everyone in my neighborhood with it. I would have my sister partake in arts and crafts in our basement, or sometimes I would do it alone, and then leave anonymous little gifts — often glittered with hearts and messages of love — on the doorsteps of the neighbors while ringing doorbells then hiding in the bushes and getting high from their smiles and happy reactions. I would feel at times, when I was young, that I had no container for that “thing” that would rush through me at odd times. despite a very volatile and psychologically damaging environment, I still had this “thing” — my therapist thinks that this “thing” grew because of the conditions in which I lived (with some people, as we know, the opposite occurs — they become hardened, even more dark, but it is my opinion that abuse OFTEN only amplifies what was there to begin with). I don’t know. it’s something I think about. anyhow…

when my core would emanate this feeling — which I now understand to be unconditional love, and which I certainly needed to find a container and direction for by my 20s — it was accompanied by an intention. the intention was partly unconscious, but it was always to fill in blank spaces for the person(s) I was focused upon (I later learned that you can not give someone what is not organic to their original template — in essence, I help people who THINK they are broken, not broken people or it would never “work” — in fact, it can be dangerous to work with something intrinsically broken, and we are not to play God). I would picture that person in perfect alignment, “having what they needed” — but more than that, I would picture and even see where their field was off-balance. I would see this in the psych realms and the physical realms. it was almost digitized for me. and because I yearned so strongly to understand evil and darkness, I would sometimes attract the wrong friends or the wrong relationships — also because of what I was accustomed to, I would attract this. I would attract this on a multitude of levels, but it was not without benefit of lessons learned. lessons that would prepare me to do what I do now. lessons that I had to learn before I do what I do now.

so fast forward to my late 20s. I had already become obsessed with Caroline Myss in my early 20s just post-college, and I had come to understand via my boyfriends and friends that I was not “normal” — this was a blessing AND a curse. because whatever was not in alignment with a person would often come up and attack me. just by being in my presence. I felt beyond outsider — I felt like there was an energy around me that I didn’t have a say in. I didn’t understand early on how it worked, and I suffered a lot and took a lot of things personally. such as when one of my first serious boyfriends had a psychotic break several months in. my best friend at the time, knowing nothing about spirituality (and me not being aware that I had taken him into an early spiritual crisis just by dating him) said to me “you just have a way of bringing out the deepest parts of people…and sometimes they can’t handle those parts”. for someone who doesn’t really believe in energy or understand it, I found this very astute. it is a comment that I reflect on to this day. at the time, it made me feel like a complete reject — a broken toy. I still didn’t understand myself at that time, and I did feel cursed. because I didn’t know what it was that I was doing. and I didn’t realize that the overwhelming desire to give (and to align) was causing some of the most unhealed and unconscious parts of this person to surface — only to be abandoned by them as a consequence. it was not the first time I would be abandoned due to my “unconditional love”, or that “thing” that surrounded me so intensely. I knew also, that I would combat a lot of being alone in my life, until I figured this thing out. so in my late 20s, I was ready to give serious relationships a break for a long time, and to understand this “thing” that came through me so strongly. so that I could choose the right life partner.

in 2011 I coughed up the courage to launch my facebook page and my business cards while I was working a random retail job and playing in a rock band. they just said “Elaine”.  by this time, I had been low-key working on people for a few years. they would contact me with a problem or concern, and I would spend several hours “working on them” — for free. some of these people I met randomly and I considered “important” because they were successful or whatever. I didn’t know how to charge, and I wanted to remain covert with my work. I did not want to be seen, my photo was nowhere for a couple of years, and I was having panic and paranoia over sharing “what I was”. I wasn’t sure how to begin, but the push from the ethers was so loud and seemed so damning if I were to reject this work/purpose, so I just…began. I began doing spiritual consults. I began passing out my business cards at Astor Place. it felt like I was assasinating my human self. I realized that mainstream people would want me to have a “degree” or something. so that is when I finally went for my Reiki training/certificate. fine. if that “legitimized” me, then so be it. in my mind, what I had been doing was something that lived in me for a long time. perhaps other healers can identify with what I am writing about. I still don’t do the traditional hand postures, I do what I am led to do, which comes from a place beyond logic. however it is accompanied with a strong knowing that is part of each and every session that I do. once I got my Reiki certificate, I felt like, “ok, you can call yourself Reiki Therapy by Elaine now”. at the time, there were no other practices with that suffix, at least to my knowledge and google searches. now they are everywhere. so I changed the name to something broader and more appropriate “Healing Elaine™”, while still keeping that initial dba. as I slowly let people know how to contact me in 2011, I was so afraid. I was afraid that my friends and others would reject me and not understand me. and some did the latter. and it was all ok. at least I had my official and mainstream “Reiki Certificate” now — that, for some reason, meant something to them, and somehow legitimized me/my work a bit more. which is again ironic, considering what I do is something I felt since I was a very young being. and yes, we ALL have life force that runs through us, which is the actual definition of Reiki (paired with a love-based intention).

I don’t know how to explain specifically how what I do is different from Reiki, but I was recently provoked into posting this after so many people have told me over the years (and again in a phone conversation last night) “what you do is not Reiki“. I know that what I do is not just Reiki. I suppose that yes, if you want to go down the rabbit hole, I am working with energies that are as old as the beginning of time, and I have a familiarity with them. these are not topics I am entirely comfortable posting about yet, at this time. perhaps down the road as the collective opens further to “other”, I will. I am also working with physics, but not by formal educational means. what I specifically do is a trade secret. maybe one day I will do something more official with “it”. maybe not. I don’t really see the point. again, this is why I don’t teach. because I don’t know how to teach this. I’m not saying this makes my work better or worse. in fact, if I could have avoided some of the challenges with regard to the polarized responses my energy field has received over the years, and “it”, I would almost endeavor to mute whatever my “it” in fact is.

what I am comfortable saying is, that when an ancient energy lives in our body or psyche, it is obvious to others (whether consciously or unconsciously). again, this is not something we consciously ask for or train for in this life. for example, when I was young, certain adults would actually tell me how or why I was “different” and it never made sense. again in my 20s it didn’t make a whole lot of sense, but due to so many heartbreaking scenarios, it made more sense. finally as I “came out” in 2011, it made even more sense — it was as if I was being rewarded by the Universe for coming forward with who and what I am. I recall being at a major movie premiere at Gotham Hall around this time. the story behind this is weird, but I was in my east village apartment at the time and something told me “go to Gotham Hall tonight”. I was not invited, not on any guest list. I did not know what event was taking place at that venue. I put on my Sunday slash party best, had a one woman dance party in my living room slash kitchen, and then headed over to Gotham Hall. when I landed, of course my name was not on the list. I gave the name of a publicist to the door girl and I was waived in. as I entered, I felt the divine energy that I feel in my sessions. it was as if my entire body began buzzing, and that was my cue that I was on track (when I don’t have that feeling and I am somewhere, I will leave immediately — as it is my cue to leave). I circled the room without looking at anyone (I know, I probably look like a creep part-time), and I felt a very strong energy to my right. it was a large group at a table with a ton of security. I want to be careful about name-dropping so I won’t do it. but there were incredible people at that table, I later learned. while in the massive square foot venue space, all I did was follow the buzz in my body. that buzz meant that I was connecting to another like-hearted energy in the ethers — beyond our 3rd dimension. I knew I was supposed to wait. so without looking at anyone in the place (there were thousands of people), I walked over to an empty spot and leaned up against the wall. at that moment, I saw someone from the table where I felt all of that energy buzzing, get up and come toward me. I didn’t look at this person, I just felt the energy, until they were about 5 inches from my face, staring at my eyes. I realized that they had left their group, pushed security to the side, and come toward me for some…reason. they stared at my eyes and my eyes stared back at them for a solid 10 seconds before they said anything else, and then they specifically commented on my energy. they looked very emotional. I asked this person if they had studied physics and they looked at me and simply said “I know light, and I know dark, and that is all”. this was not a come-on, and I knew it, but it was proven after our conversation when this person did not ask for my contact info. it was a resonance that exists in the ethers of unconditional love. this was a very known person. and then I knew my mission was done. that buzzy energy I had walking in left, and I knew my purpose had succeeded.

if the above sounds crazy, I get it. I’m a normal person yet I have felt these “other” things my entire life. there are a lot of “other” others out there, too. it’s as if we see another language that we are not taught. the person who approached me in the above paragraph is other. I have never seen or spoken to them since, but I know I will. their last words to me were “I know I met you tonight for a reason, and I will see you again”. these connections supersede our physical realm. and as I pay attention to recent social media activity of this person, I note their sudden fascination with physics and sacred geometry. when I saw them a number of years back, I saw their divinity — beyond press (both very bad and very good). I saw their own personal extension of unconditional love that perhaps fills them so much at times, that it causes imbalances in other parts of their life. my point is, that buzz, that “other” emanating from my core as a small child, became some kind of a sonar or detector for me later on in life. it began in my late teens in terms of actually using it in my life, and it became more definable in my late 20s and early 30s when I came out with my work. this sonar, this “other”, this unconditional love streak, is not only how I do my work in person but it is how I choose to do my work. again, this doesn’t suggest a hierarchy or any sort when choosing who to work with. not at all. it does, however, suggest timing. and a match of free will resonance.

my experience at Gotham Hall was not a one-off. this is an experience I have had many times, and I talk about it in my eBooklet 5 a bit. my experience has happened to include those who have “other” experiences, and many of them are in positions of public persuasion — meaning, what they say and do is deemed worthy by the masses because they are in the media. as we all know, just because someone is in the media does not mean they are good or bad, or should be listened to or should not be listened to. but, I came to realize that what I am talking about here is shared by people who CAN make an impact and assist in making the unseen (much of what I write about here) more mainstream. I came to understand, probably officially in 2012, that what I had been attracting had a larger purpose for down the road when we are all able (or allowed) to more fully understand it. “it” is the voice of love, of unconditional love, that each of us (whether better or worse) has some access to. some of us get plagued with it early on in life, and it is indeed a curse at that time, because of how disruptive it is to our personal relationships. I felt cursed with that hardcore.

the reason that I take my work so seriously is because I did not ask for “it”. at least not in this lifetime. I would have given anything to just be normal, to not have this energy that affected people even when I did not want it to. it was like having a force that would impart itself onto others, and you never knew whether their response to that force would be overwhelmingly positive (like my Gotham Hall experience, or many others like it), or overwhelmingly negative (like much of my early life, by people who were supposed to love me, and romantic relationships by which it became “too much”, and abandonment was imminent). I take my work seriously because now variances of this tangible “work” is “trending”. I don’t have the same experience as everyone else, and I don’t do things because they are “trending”. in fact, I run the other way from trending. if I told you about the “opportunities” I turned down last year alone, to be majorly “trending”, you would probably be very surprised, because those are the “things” most humans aspire to having — attention, money, fake “power”). but the thing is, this work is sustainable because it supersedes physicality and human consciousness. true healing work can be either silent (many amazing people do this work quietly, with hardly any online presence, because that is their calling and they don’t have any ego based need to be known) or it can be public (many amazing people do this work loudly, because they want to mainstream the important message of “look beyond what is in front of you so you can help yourself”). I resonate with the latter not from a conscious standpoint, but from an internal burning force that has been present from my first breaths on this planet. it is also a source of confliction for me, because I fight with the purpose in tandem with my ego. my ego says “be small”. and my purpose says “be huge”. it is a constant battle, and a lot of that I work out in therapy. I have found through my work with others and through my own life experience that, our greatest fear is often our greatest purpose.

so no, I don’t do “Reiki”. but I do use that word. because people mostly understand it. and it’s not so far removed from the intent or even physicality of my work. I’m not sure I could explain what I do in one sentence, or even in a paragraph. that is something I am working on narrative-wise for some of my mainstream corporate projects right now. you should see some of my CEOs, trying to come up with the language for which to deliver to their marketing or operations teams. LOL. “Reiki” will not be in that language. but I will post that language here when it is ready.


why the need to be right will make you (physically) sick

photo by Anita Saini (where’d that desk come from tho!?)

one word why: resistance.

when we insist upon being right, whether we think we are or secretly know that we are NOT, we are not surrendered to “what is”. we are in resistance.

resistance is a state of obstructed energetic flow. emotion = energy in motion. when energy can not move, because we are not surrendered, energy gets stored and congested in the places in which our emotional body relates to our physical body. have a google at chakras and emotion to better understand how/where/why the body hosts energy as it relates to the emotional or unconscious states (the two states are interrelated, by the way). better yet, listen to Caroline Myss’s entire Anatomy Of The Spirit (my very first “study” of intuitive energy and psyche, back in 2004 – I even have her glorious signed CDs 😉 ).

the need to be right is not a surrendered state, and it is not a powerful state — it is a state of force. force is resistance, even though some people think that it appears powerful or even IS powerful.

how do we know if we are in power (surrender) versus force (the need to be right)? because a strong opinion, or a strong intrinsic knowing is NOT resistance — there is a difference between a strong knowing and a need to be right. well, first off, if we are in force aka the need to be right, we will find ourselves feeling the need to control things — mainly, other people. spouses, children, employees, etc. this is different from having a strong personality, rather it includes a strong air of manipulation, even deceit and calculation. since surrender needs none of these resistant activities to accompany its powerful state, there is a flow of energy that runs freely throughout the body. with the need to be right, we will find ourselves needing to control situations around us — we will even seek out situations to control, just so that we can prove to ourselves that we are right about…something. the need to be right is a dis-ease. when there is dis-ease, there is physical disease or illness. eventually. always. not everyone who gets physically sick does so because they need to be right, rather there are many other reasons — but they all include a lack of surrender to “WHAT IS”. what is, if you are wondering, is truth. we all know truth, whether we realize it or not — it is the basement of our mind, heart and soul. we might pretend for a lifetime, but we ALWAYS know what truth is. deep, deep down.

so basically, the need to be right includes 100% resistance to “the truth” — about ourselves, and others. you have seen these people — they are the folks who, even in the concrete evidence of xyz, will shake their head and say “no no, that’s not true”. think of the most obvious example possible, and then think of that one person you know, who would not accept even the most blatant of truths. this is the person who needs to be right, at all costs. especially at all costs. even their health.

men and women integrate the need to be right in different ways, but often in the same body parts. while the heart chakra aka breast cancer is the area of self-love (or lack thereof), the lower root/base chakras are the parts of the body most often associated with control. it is also possible, that one might host an illness or condition in their body for another person — now this is another blog, but consider what happens when animals get sick because their owners are sick. they are absorbing whatever that person is too unconscious to handle, or the person themselves is so sick that the animal absorbs it for them and the person suddenly gets better. this happens also with parents and children. children are much higher vibrations, and therefore more absorbent. key note: if you want your kids to be healthy, try being healthy (and honest, surrendered) yourself.

I used to date a man who had chronic hemorrhoids. sorry TMI. but anyhow, he was constantly dissociating from things that were not to his pleasing. he would basically go off and hum a song when something uncomfortable came up. it drove me nuts. but it drove his body way more nuts. he was in a state of resistance, at his most base (survival) level. hemorrhoids are evidence of the inability to “let go”. because this man could not or would not go into his unconscious mind, past trauma or whatever, he was repeating it instead with his work — with a boss who he hated (father figure replacement). and as you may have guessed, instead of confronting the situation, he made up his own reality. he made sure, passive aggressively, that he got what HE needed from this boss, behind his back. he made money off of this boss that would never have been acceptable if his boss knew the situation, but it was more important to him to be “right” and to make this situation just on HIS terms. when questioned about it, the man I was dating was 100% vehemently convinced that HE was right. of course, if he were surrendered to the situation in a healthy fashion, he would have confronted his boss or dealt with it above-board. probably he would not have had hemorrhoids, either. you get the idea.

when we “hold” onto something, emotionally, the parts of the body that dispose of waste respond. with people who have the need to be right, indigestion, colon issues, UTIs increase — and other waste-disposal functions of the body will slow down or not respond properly. often the body is speaking to them, but they can not hear the body. because they typically don’t believe in this “hokey pokey medical intuitive stuff”. well. ask the many people who have seen me, either for fertility or chronic illnesses that no doctors have been able to solve, and only after exhausting their bank accounts and minds and spirits were they finally at their last stop on the train — “other” — me — a place without mainstream logic. and ask them if their condition “disappeared” when they surrendered. it did. it’s just that we ALL need help with surrender. a pro tip to surrendering is #1 making sure we don’t have the NEED to be right. so, what if we just have a strong personality? I mean, I’m clearly very opinionated…

a strong personality is often someone who lives in passion, but they welcome being wrong. how do they welcome being wrong? they put themselves in vulnerable positions, they do self-work (therapy), and they constantly ask for feedback. a strong personality lives with a passion that is in alignment and therefore powerful, because their thoughts = feelings = words = actions. a person who needs to be right does not care whether their thoughts = feelings = words = actions. they will be misaligned and remain so at all costs, so long as they can control something. a strong personality is constantly aiming to be in alignment with thoughts = feelings = words = actions, even if they find out they are wrong. so long as we are not lying to OURSELVES, there is always leeway. our truth may not be accurate relative to “the” truth, but if we find out it is not accurate, we are willing to surrender to “what is”. this is how we let go. this is how we stay healthy. easier said than done!

if you are a person who has the need to be right, you probably won’t know it. sorry! if you are a person who is wondering “oh shit, am I this person? do I have the need to be right?”, you are probably NOT a person who needs to be right. it’s just like how crazy people never ask themselves the question, “am I crazy?”. the questioning itself, the true questioning of one’s self, is where surrender and release exist. again — if you are a person who is storing energy in the parts of the body I have described, it does not necessarily mean or even suggest that you have the need to be right. we are impacted physically for a whole variety of reasons, and this is just ONE example. also again: if you are concerned about your own alignment, then your concern alone is already one foot on the path to surrender — you are good.


remaining portal days for goal manifestation this month of February 2018

photo by Anita Saini

I’ve written about this in other posts; on dates of numerological alignment, we have greater access to other dimensional frequencies. other dimensional frequencies host realities which move at difference speeds — which is what we consider during manifestation, as time and space collapse. hence, our focus will generate stronger outcomes, because we are not stuck solely in 3d. remember: we get what we focus upon, whether we claim to want it or not!

remaining portal days (in my experience and observation — I am not drawing from astrology or someone else’s “facts”. just my own experiences of portal days since forever ago.): 2.18.18 (TOMORROW!), 2.20.18, 2.21.18, 2.22.18 (yay — I have a big meetup scheduled for that day!) and 2.28.18.

if you believe in the power of prayer and manifestation, use it on those days. reminder: use it only for good — karma is immediate. what we put out, we are getting back at rapid speed. it might as well be positive. if you have been wronged by someone (we all have) and you can’t stop thinking about them, then focus on what you WANT which will be far beyond the vibration of that person, and light a candle on it that day. there is no way I could have achieved what I have so far, if I were focused upon all of the wrong-doers in my life (rather I am focused on what I learned from them, far away from them). darkness is always eclipsed by light. we just need much more of it (light) right now.


one step forward, two steps back; & happy new moon solar eclipse 2.15.18, 4:06pm EST

photo by Babita Patel

growth is not a linear process. meaning, we don’t see it in a linear fashion. we have different bodies of energy, first of all; mind, body and spirit. not all of those exist in tangible 3D form. and so different densities move at different speeds. and our cognitive understanding of growth is not always relative to what we feel emotionally. what I mean is —

we might experience breakthroughs and seeming forward motion as it relates to our cognitive or emotional understanding — only to experience a big “regression” where we feel like we have suddenly not moved at all. it can seem as though everything that we had once wanted, or thought that we wanted, has vanished into the ethers after so much personal work on ourselves. this is often simply a void space however, since the mind can not and will not adequately measure our own growth, since it happens on so many different planes at one time — and each plane has a different speed, hence, cognitive interpretation of speed.

on this new moon solar eclipse, I have had some of the biggest internal shifts to date. I know what they are about. they are surprising to me, because they are in the space of my life in which I was waiting for my feelings to catch up with my conscious knowing. on this moon solar eclipse, my feelings have finally caught up with my knowing. this is one example of nonlinear growth, my friends. and it is exhilarating.

sometimes when we feel that we have taken two steps back, it is simply because our conscious and emotional bodies need to communicate better, and are in fact communicating better — so that one body of consciousness does not override another. in order to get in sync, the bodies of consciousness (for example, here, emotional and cognitive) each move into alignment where one is no longer pulling the other ahead at the same speed — what that means is that there is no more bypassing or projecting, and finally the bodies of energy experience the actual movement that they have been waiting for without being held above water by another conscious body (like a cognitive conscious body could hold an emotional body above water when in fact that emotional body needs to drown first, in order to pull itself up and grow to become in alignment with the cognitive body).

we are in the middle of eclipse season, and this is a most exciting time as effects of eclipses last for a while — what that REALLY means is wherever we are consciously (or unconsciously) paired with our focus (or intention) during an eclipse, is what will reverberate for a number of months after said eclipse. our bodies of energy are most open and palpable during such a time, and if you don’t know what this means and want to try something to see if you can relate to it in some way, do this: go home tonight and make a list of the things you like/want, and a list of the things you don’t like/don’t want. burn the list of the latter. put a tea light candle on the list of the things in the affirmative (we get what we focus on), and really dig deep to think about the internal changes you can inch toward (yes – I said INCH toward!), to get there. there is no such thing as moving a mountain overnight, and no need to. it’s not natural. but moving an inch internally is akin to moving a mountain externally. see what your mind and emotional bodies are willing to negotiate, and no doubt your physical self and surroundings will begin to respond to that.


Soo’s Video Testimonial for Healing Elaine®

Soo is…amazing. one of the smartest people around — creatively, intellectually, emotionally and otherwise. this was such an enjoyable session for me on so many levels. and, because Soo had some disappointing experiences with “other” (healers, intuitives) in the alternative or unseen realms, I was really honored to help replace certain concerns with a mutual resonance of truth. thank you Soo, for sharing your story and being vulnerable.



how to handle secret/hidden pain and shame

Healing Elaine

photo by Jennifer Santaniello

one of the fundamental reasons I see people carrying pain and shame in dangerous silence, is the fact that their respected or “coveted” position/title on this planet is perceivably (by them) under threat of dissolution due to the very nature and source of their pain and shame (pain and shame usually go hand-in-hand). the very nature and source of their pain and shame, by the way, is usually/always some form of abuse that they experienced and they are harshly judging themselves on — unconsciously or consciously. many individuals think that they need to maintain some kind of impossible image of perfection, or manage an impossible personal standard for living — simply because they are looked up to by many, hold a position of significant authority, or have great responsibility to serve many others. they have forgotten, due to their human “role”, that they are human first. this is dangerous on all levels, when we can not be human first. look at the number of suicides in banking and entertainment alone — or in “prominent” families with dark secrets. the first step to eliminating this danger is to realize that we all go through the same themes of trial and tribulation in this life — that there are others exactly like us, suffering exactly like us. when we suffer in silence, it is because we fail to realize how actually relatable our pain and shame really is. in fact, if we were to really look at it, sharing our pain and shame and transcending the illusion that our role or title is somehow immune to such is perhaps the most powerful thing we can do. of course, there are different ways that we can “share” this pain and shame, with diplomacy and proper personal boundaries, to balance the often boundary-less nature of the source of the pain and shame that represents the contrast itself (between the internal and external world of the individual).

the greatest human fear in existence is: being alone. period. this can mean physically alone, emotionally alone, psychologically alone, or another version of the word “alone”. it is a fear greater than death. it is what drives us in life — avoiding being alone or being abandoned by fellow humans on our planet. when we are extremely isolated in life to begin with — let’s say, for the sake of this particular post, because we are leaders or impossible “idols” of some sort — we are already all alone. you have heard the phrase “it’s lonely at the top” — it is very lonely at the top. many people spend their entire lives trying to get to the “top”, because they have felt it is the protection or insulation that they will need to not feel so alone — and when they arrive there, they are more alone than ever. if we pair our metaphoric position at the top of the mountain (which already screams aloneness) with secret pain and shame, it is a recipe for (internal) disaster.

so, what is our actual first step to realizing that we are not alone, and then how do we appropriately share such pain and shame in order to deflate the internal volcano that will only self-destruct us?

well, before I outline the first step, let me say this — I had another conversation today with someone who appears to “have it all”; a beautiful physical appearance, a very solid leadership role career-wise, financially sound/abundant, and seeming support from every direction. a life of “privilege”. that is the image that naturally emits itself from this person, and hence the “safe” reality of many of those around them actually depends upon such an image. but the private, and often secret inner world of pain and shame that accompanies someone like this can feel brutal, and I see it all of the time. it feels brutal because they think that showing vulnerability will make those around them feel unsafe, when in fact it might make them feel more safe. and this is the reason that I do this work — to let others know that no, their situation is NOT shameful…it will NOT be ostracized…they will NOT be abandoned by the world (both personal and professional) around them if they are to share the source of this pain and shame, which always comes in the form of human relationships (past or present). the person I spoke with today has been through a very uphill early life experience which, in many ways no doubt shaped their ability to navigate the professional world — but often our strengths ARE our weaknesses. recognizing this is step 1.

step 1: recognize that our strengths ARE our weaknesses — hence, our weaknesses have not been in vain! they have served us. and with that said, it is now safe to look at the ways that they are no longer serving us. when we recognize that our strengths are our weaknesses, we are able to identify with the fact that perhaps EVERYONE around us has the same thing going on! I don’t know of anyone at the top of their craft or field who has not landed there on exaggerated strengths which came only from exaggerated (and very formative — due to survival early-on in life) weaknesses. so, if we are to compare ourselves to colleagues or peers or people we admire, we might stop and think that they too, no doubt, have been in the same exact position as we find ourselves: at the top of our game, with a “responsibility” to many others, but with imminent recognition of the opposing weakness (which causes the pain and shame game) that we are not fully contending with. again: I know of no person at the top of the mountain who has not met their personal weakness (pain and shame), even after many years in denial of such. so step 1 is recognizing the opposition and paradox that our success or “title” resides in at all times, and how it is impossible that others in a similar role have also never or not yet been able to avoid the same paradox. in this way, when we really think about it, we are not alone. the perceived secrecy with regard to whatever pain and shame we are carrying starts to lose its grip on our fear of being exposed. in effect, shame is an illusion.

step 2: identify other “others” who have made their difficulties public. there are so many of them. let’s start with Oprah. enough said. look and dig for the stories and personal triumphs of others who transcended their personal pain and shame with success and vice versa. you might think “but that is OPRAH — I’m not Oprah. we have completely different trajectories and I do not desire to ever be a public person”. well, fair enough. but that is not the point. the point is, first of all, all things are relative. all things are relative. so taking aside the particulars of someone like Oprah, it is important just to look at her process and timeline trajectory. she has been through mountains of trials and tribulations, and she has been victorious each time. look at how her pain and shame have served her outer world trajectory. you have the same opportunity, in whatever way your purpose is set. sure, you might end up shattering a glass ceiling or two, but that’s often the byproduct of breaking through pain and shame. perhaps, like others who have made their difficulties public, or their public persona has made such public, you are being called to “share” your pain and shame — in any way you deem acceptable…

step 3: find the acceptable way in which you will share your pain and shame. when we have pain and shame, it eats us alive until we share it. period. once we share it, it no longer has power over us. maybe that person we share it with is just a therapist. or maybe that outlet is an anonymous 12-step group and you wear a wig or disguise and attend it and share your story just one time. or maybe you keep going back and realize that the feelings you feel are not only not real things, but launching pads to inspire others, and no you will not lose your status in the process — in fact, you will probably strengthen it. maybe it is a safe online forum (a-hem — I learned the hard way with this one, so be careful) in which you can be anonymous and write out all of your deepest pain and shame in the form of memories and experiences. whatever way you feel comfortable, let it out. any way that you can. in step 3, you might decide to take further action — start a mindfulness group at your firm or occupation, leading with subjects that you don’t want to get personal with, but that still open up the topical conversation on some level that end up providing relief for the pain and shame you have carried inside of you. remember: intention alone can provide us with relief. and ultimately, when people feel comfortable, they will share on the very things that you feel keep you so separate and hidden from them in the first place.

with the absolute illusion that everyone is living in, in terms of the very guise that social media is, it is easier now more than ever to feel uncapped isolation. it’s a lie. if people are not being vulnerable in some way beyond their fake pictures of happiness and unity on their public pages, then they are dying inside. if you are a leader of some sort, rest assured that it is probably YOU that others are looking at to help liberate themselves from their pain and shame — which we ALL carry on some level — versus hold up some impossible standard.




Maria’s experience, and her practice niche highlighting LGBTQ empowerment

Maria is such a wonderful person. we met over one year ago. she is a talented writer, she went through a fancy academic program and yet decided to forge her own path, and she has also found her voice in the healing/human service realm.

her understanding and innate ability to process “other”/aka the unseen realms was something that was loud and clear during our first session. her incredible growth as a person and being since then, and her dedication to said continued expansion, is admirable. with that said, she simultaneously gave birth to her own healing practice called Alternative Reiki.

something that Maria and I share is our resonance toward and understanding of an individual on a soul level — therefore throwing out the human boxes that our linear minds so insist upon creating in order to “categorize” others and the world around us. paradoxically, Maria and I also share the understanding that not all energy is created equal — and that, which exists far beyond the human shell, is what we must continuously discern for our own health and well-being.

I support Maria as a person, friend and colleague, and encourage anyone who resonates with her story (in the above video which details her personal “waking up” experience, and what her site offers) to reach out. below is her bio:

“Maria is a versatile and intuitive healer by birth. Although she has a wide range of specialties, she is extremely passionate about healing issues concerning identity. She loves to help people uncover, integrate and build their authentic selves.

Maria  focuses on topics of sexuality and gender. She enjoys working with those who do not identify as cis or straight, those in poly communities, and those who hold shame or guilt related to cultural or familial upbringing. Maria grew up in a conservative Chinese home that did not match who she was inside, so she experienced life in a minimized template of “passing” until she woke up and realized life’s true potential for abundance, grace and pleasure.

Maria endeavors to hold space for you and accept you as perfect, unconditionally. Her heart-centered and integrative approach addresses all facets of your life and does not reject or judge urges as inappropriate on the path towards consciousness. She brings in yogic therapies in combination with her healing for a cohesive and diverse vantage point. 

As Maria continues on her own path, she will be integrating clairvoyant readings, shamanism and oriental medicine into her practice.”