why the need to be right will make you (physically) sick

photo by Anita Saini (where’d that desk come from tho!?)

one word why: resistance.

when we insist upon being right, whether we think we are or secretly know that we are NOT, we are not surrendered to “what is”. we are in resistance.

resistance is a state of obstructed energetic flow. emotion = energy in motion. when energy can not move, because we are not surrendered, energy gets stored and congested in the places in which our emotional body relates to our physical body. have a google at chakras and emotion to better understand how/where/why the body hosts energy as it relates to the emotional or unconscious states (the two states are interrelated, by the way). better yet, listen to Caroline Myss’s entire Anatomy Of The Spirit (my very first “study” of intuitive energy and psyche, back in 2004 – I even have her glorious signed CDs 😉 ).

the need to be right is not a surrendered state, and it is not a powerful state — it is a state of force. force is resistance, even though some people think that it appears powerful or even IS powerful.

how do we know if we are in power (surrender) versus force (the need to be right)? because a strong opinion, or a strong intrinsic knowing is NOT resistance — there is a difference between a strong knowing and a need to be right. well, first off, if we are in force aka the need to be right, we will find ourselves feeling the need to control things — mainly, other people. spouses, children, employees, etc. this is different from having a strong personality, rather it includes a strong air of manipulation, even deceit and calculation. since surrender needs none of these resistant activities to accompany its powerful state, there is a flow of energy that runs freely throughout the body. with the need to be right, we will find ourselves needing to control situations around us — we will even seek out situations to control, just so that we can prove to ourselves that we are right about…something. the need to be right is a dis-ease. when there is dis-ease, there is physical disease or illness. eventually. always. not everyone who gets physically sick does so because they need to be right, rather there are many other reasons — but they all include a lack of surrender to “WHAT IS”. what is, if you are wondering, is truth. we all know truth, whether we realize it or not — it is the basement of our mind, heart and soul. we might pretend for a lifetime, but we ALWAYS know what truth is. deep, deep down.

so basically, the need to be right includes 100% resistance to “the truth” — about ourselves, and others. you have seen these people — they are the folks who, even in the concrete evidence of xyz, will shake their head and say “no no, that’s not true”. think of the most obvious example possible, and then think of that one person you know, who would not accept even the most blatant of truths. this is the person who needs to be right, at all costs. especially at all costs. even their health.

men and women integrate the need to be right in different ways, but often in the same body parts. while the heart chakra aka breast cancer is the area of self-love (or lack thereof), the lower root/base chakras are the parts of the body most often associated with control. it is also possible, that one might host an illness or condition in their body for another person — now this is another blog, but consider what happens when animals get sick because their owners are sick. they are absorbing whatever that person is too unconscious to handle, or the person themselves is so sick that the animal absorbs it for them and the person suddenly gets better. this happens also with parents and children. children are much higher vibrations, and therefore more absorbent. key note: if you want your kids to be healthy, try being healthy (and honest, surrendered) yourself.

I used to date a man who had chronic hemorrhoids. sorry TMI. but anyhow, he was constantly dissociating from things that were not to his pleasing. he would basically go off and hum a song when something uncomfortable came up. it drove me nuts. but it drove his body way more nuts. he was in a state of resistance, at his most base (survival) level. hemorrhoids are evidence of the inability to “let go”. because this man could not or would not go into his unconscious mind, past trauma or whatever, he was repeating it instead with his work — with a boss who he hated (father figure replacement). and as you may have guessed, instead of confronting the situation, he made up his own reality. he made sure, passive aggressively, that he got what HE needed from this boss, behind his back. he made money off of this boss that would never have been acceptable if his boss knew the situation, but it was more important to him to be “right” and to make this situation just on HIS terms. when questioned about it, the man I was dating was 100% vehemently convinced that HE was right. of course, if he were surrendered to the situation in a healthy fashion, he would have confronted his boss or dealt with it above-board. probably he would not have had hemorrhoids, either. you get the idea.

when we “hold” onto something, emotionally, the parts of the body that dispose of waste respond. with people who have the need to be right, indigestion, colon issues, UTIs increase — and other waste-disposal functions of the body will slow down or not respond properly. often the body is speaking to them, but they can not hear the body. because they typically don’t believe in this “hokey pokey medical intuitive stuff”. well. ask the many people who have seen me, either for fertility or chronic illnesses that no doctors have been able to solve, and only after exhausting their bank accounts and minds and spirits were they finally at their last stop on the train — “other” — me — a place without mainstream logic. and ask them if their condition “disappeared” when they surrendered. it did. it’s just that we ALL need help with surrender. a pro tip to surrendering is #1 making sure we don’t have the NEED to be right. so, what if we just have a strong personality? I mean, I’m clearly very opinionated…

a strong personality is often someone who lives in passion, but they welcome being wrong. how do they welcome being wrong? they put themselves in vulnerable positions, they do self-work (therapy), and they constantly ask for feedback. a strong personality lives with a passion that is in alignment and therefore powerful, because their thoughts = feelings = words = actions. a person who needs to be right does not care whether their thoughts = feelings = words = actions. they will be misaligned and remain so at all costs, so long as they can control something. a strong personality is constantly aiming to be in alignment with thoughts = feelings = words = actions, even if they find out they are wrong. so long as we are not lying to OURSELVES, there is always leeway. our truth may not be accurate relative to “the” truth, but if we find out it is not accurate, we are willing to surrender to “what is”. this is how we let go. this is how we stay healthy. easier said than done!

if you are a person who has the need to be right, you probably won’t know it. sorry! if you are a person who is wondering “oh shit, am I this person? do I have the need to be right?”, you are probably NOT a person who needs to be right. it’s just like how crazy people never ask themselves the question, “am I crazy?”. the questioning itself, the true questioning of one’s self, is where surrender and release exist. again — if you are a person who is storing energy in the parts of the body I have described, it does not necessarily mean or even suggest that you have the need to be right. we are impacted physically for a whole variety of reasons, and this is just ONE example. also again: if you are concerned about your own alignment, then your concern alone is already one foot on the path to surrender — you are good.