“it’s too good to be true – it must be a trick”

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©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

each of us has a particular area of our life in which we experience such consistent adversity (this could be health, work, romance, social or otherwise) that for us to imagine being on the “other side” of it almost feels too good to be true. and, when the possibility of a different reality than we are used to (a different reality would be a good reality) presents, we may run away from it initially. or, we may run away from it forever if we have not done the inner work to confront ourselves. we always run from that which resides super close to home — and all thought forms and patterns are extremely close to home. it’s why people can spend 40 years in therapy and get nowhere — the mind will hide from itself at all costs.

I’ve gone over and over and over — in my many other articles and books — how the mind and energetic body work in tandem to prevent a new thought form from forming. and while I will reiterate some of that in this post, some of what will be new is an anecdote or two which may be helpful or relatable.

in the early 00s, I met a young man who, archetypally, was my perfect match. I remember calling my closest people and telling them that I had met my husband. and I believe, to this day, that had certain shadows of self been confronted by him, that we would be a unit. but to quickly digress here, I understand and know that it was not fated/destined. fate and destiny are never, ever destroyed. on the way there though, lots of things get destroyed and for good reason — to teach us. at any rate, one might say that our initial encounter was seemingly fated. we actually met before we met in person (no, it wasn’t online dating) — as in I knew who he was and kept seeing his picture — and when we met in person by chance, we spoke for many hours nearly without breath. the romance was glorious, fast and furious. if there were ever to be a knowing within me, that was the knowing. I recall as we spent nearly a full week together without leaving the house, something he said to me that would stick with me forever though mostly in the back of my mind. as I was giggling away one afternoon he just stared at me. and then he said “I can see why someone would never let you go, and also why someone would be so afraid to be your boyfriend”. at the time, I really didn’t get it. as fate would have it, he broke my heart as I found out that we met while he was actually in another relationship in another city but for some crazy reason he thought he would get sucked into the vortex that was me. and I knew that my number one requirement in any relationship was trust so that no matter how intensely I felt for him, that “we” could never ever exist again on this human plane. but it was his words on that one afternoon that kept moving through me for years to come.

his father was a notorious womanizer and drug Lord. although the young man was and is, I believe, fundamentally different, the marks and patterning that were all around him and therefore WITHIN him during his most formative years and well, prevalent in his / perceived survival from his first breath, were no match for his intrinsic self. his intrinsic self took a backseat to his beliefs and, as I predicted exactly at the time of my heartbreak, HE NEVER CHANGED THEM. the difficulty for me, which is something that I cover in many sessions, was seeing his potential. and let me be real. I believe in reality not potential. but…I see potential. perhaps as strongly or more so than anyone who has ever walked this planet. it’s the bane of my work and how so many “overnight turnarounds” happen. they happen because I see potential. and they happen because I can discern potential from reality a mile away — and also teach it. so something really fortunate occurred for me at a young age. I knew what choices someone would make for the rest of their life. and I knew that no matter how perfect this young man could POTENTIALLY be, that he would never be it because of that one choice he made when fate decided to give us an experience. one of the ways that I realize now in retrospect that I was being communicated with resided within his comment that never left me and only got louder over time.

his comment was stacked with information about how he saw the world. in all of our mutual glory as we coexisted in our 3-4 month whirlwind out of this world romance and intellectual explosion, he was telling me that he could not take a risk to experience his potential. he was telling me that he was just like his father. he was telling me how scary it would have been to live another reality. and while I may not have deciphered that via “the comment”, I certainly deciphered it based on the simple truths and hard-to-digest actions on his part. but let me go to the in retrospect understanding of “the comment”.

after treating thousands of individuals at their deepest core resonances, one thing I know is that to change one’s reality is really one in a few million. as in, it’s so scary to the mind to accept new realities after it has been conditioned (for better or for worse — but inflexible conditioning is ALWAYS THE WORST and we see this all around us societally now) that almost no one is able to do it. there is a reason that, for example, extremely “intelligent” people return time and time and time again to abuse — in more ways than one. it’s not that they aren’t smart, and in many cases it’s because they are smart. so my experience, in aiding someone else to literally have a new experience that may seem “too good to be true” is the entire enchilada. and I know what makes people able and not able to do it. and so after all of these years of doing the work that I do, I think about comments like that of one of my loves of my life. comments that years later reveal so much more than what they revealed at the time they were said.

at the time of the end of this particular relationship — which ended because I was shocked to find an ugly truth and so I ended it — I grappled with “why”. that’s where heartbreak comes from, right? it’s the “why” that plagues us. this relationship certainly plagued me with wondering “why”, when everything aside from the ugly truth (which by the way also IS EVERYTHING) was so…perfect. what a waste, I thought. and what a disappointment, I felt, because no matter what this person said or did (and they said and did a lot — as of just a few years ago they were contacting me!), that ship had sailed. and when it sailed, I had some choice words for this person. I still have those words. they spelled out exactly what this person would do in the category of relationships for the rest of their life. and they did exactly that. prophetic? nah, I was just seeing truth. like I always do. for me, it was natural. I saw where things would go and how separate from my life this person’s issues were. I never questioned for a moment whether I was right or not, because it extended beyond believing. it’s why I didn’t try and get married in my 20s – the right person wasn’t there yet. I understood that listening to God’s (I’m not talking religion) plan is more important than my own plan, and that because I am in tune (aka honest) with myself, I will know when my ship comes in. I knew that this particular ship had sailed and for good reason. I just didn’t know why…

I hurt over that relationship for many years. it would be a decade before I would come close to that level of “match”. I tried so hard to reconcile the “why”, and I was grateful that I didn’t allow biology to drag me through a divorce in order to satisfy my need to know “why”. and in time, through the grace and experience with Healing Elaine® work, I began to hear his comment differently.

his comment, paired with his actions, were everything. as I revisited our time and place together, it was like watching an old movie again but for the first time. replaying that moment in my mind and heart, I “heard” him through that comment. he was saying so loudly to me, “I’m scared. I will always be scared. I talk more than I walk. I can’t be your partner I don’t know how. I am afraid of you because you represent goodness. I see our potential and I can’t change my unconscious patterning because it is so ingrained. my entire identity is wrapped up in that of my father, whom I admire. my mother will always take care of me. I can take care of women. but I can’t. I just don’t believe in my own intrinsic self. you are goodness. you are too good for me. I am not goodness, at least not in the way that I say I am. I am telling you who I am so that you don’t marry me and regret the next twenty years of your life. I’m telling you who I am right now. I don’t believe I can change. and I don’t believe this because you scare me. what is good for me scares me and it always will”. I began to hear the real dialogue, so many years later, after I had begun to understand my own self worth and value. when people say “it’s not you it’s me” in a sense or so, they are usually telling you the truth. my love interest didn’t say that exactly, but he did in more cryptic terms. as they say, people tell you who they are all of the time if you are really listening. part of me was listening that day, thankfully. and the rest of me that could hear my own value in new ways years later, listened and listens.

when a new reality that opposes the past but yet MATCHES us on an intrinsic level presents itself to us, we run. again — although we are supposedly all wired with the ability to change patterns, so few of us do. and yes there are reasons for that which are an entirely different blog post. and in this case, despite the incredible and actual potential of this person I was with, I saw the soul’s lazy choice not to level up and match their potential. and, to a degree, I understood this — because I suffered from that as well, just more so in other categories of my life. for some reason, and most peculiarly, I was always able to let go and fully experience all joy that there was to experience in a romantic partnership (assuming that, in that partnership, there was in fact joy! I chose more than one that was totally…joyless). this rendezvous was no different. I enjoyed experiencing every part of myself in it. it was in other or perhaps simply more nuanced areas of my life, that I struggled with embracing something “new”. something too good to be true.

for example when I left my childhood city and home I was terrified of good things and I was terrified of succeeding. like, AT ALL. that would have meant I was sovereign or entitled to myself on some level, which I had NEVER felt before and worked years to understand and achieve. so, I “got” where this young man who made the comment was coming from, to a degree. and now I understand more full-circle my ability to peg someone’s (usually anyone’s) free will decision to change or not versus live in “hope” or delusion. on a strictly energetic level back then, I knew and it’s why I wrote it down. I just finally came full circle with how I knew — as it was paired with experience via HE™ as well as my own fate and destiny. the “why” of that event was something I was able to heal, and also something that fascinated me in terms of karma and destiny since this young man was one of the most incredible people I had ever met — at least, the potential that he truly walked with was (do not confuse actual potential with psychic potential – big difference and you can reference my eBooklet 2 for more on that notion).

as the scope of limitless potentials and domains would have it, I came across another version of this young man exactly eleven years later (and within a week of meeting this young man, young man number one had reached out to reconnect — uncanny). he was the same age as myself and my prior love interest, in the early 00s. he had the same birthmark on his face as this man. he had the same haircut as this man. he was exactly the same height. their voices sounded the same. they started the same occupations/trades fresh out of college. and, young man number two had ALL of the same characteristics as the first man intellectually, spiritually, and otherwise. varying only slightly was his trauma and committed-to patterning that would hold him back (forever). and it was the same sort of meeting/coming together. I met this person in the light of day and he looked at me like he knew me forever. the first words out of his mouth in my direction were that he knew what I did for work. he could literally “see” me. we talked for like five or six straight hours following that very first encounter. and the next night we talked for about eight, again in person. I held back from diving into the dreamland that I dove into with Romeo from the early 00s, because something told me to. and by our third date, I knew why. as we sat in a historic bar and sipped on Manhattans, he got that look over his face that I had seen only once before. he looked…vulnerable. raw. open. and then he said it: “I’m afraid that this is a trick”. he was holding my hand like he was holding onto dear life. our conversation and connection not only mimicked that of my early 00s experience, but it actually went even deeper. after all, it was a different time. even if he was twelve years younger than me. I was back with that other experience, and this time I heard what he was saying loud and clear. he was saying “I have trauma that I am afraid of. you represent the opposite of that trauma. I am too scared, particularly due to our connection, to stay with you. I will hurt you. maybe not today, but soon. don’t get too close to me. I can’t be who I am supposed to be in this life. I want to be but I just won’t.” and while I didn’t run away at that moment, I proceeded super super slow and with caution. I didn’t want to give any of myself away because within me I just “knew” better. I HEARD him. I heard him in a way that my intellect was eclipsed a little over ten years prior. then I heard the first comment and the young man who made it, again. “thank you”, I thought. but, as I was the first time, I became incredibly confused. I was confused because I wasn’t certain of his trauma, and what refused his mind from changing to a new reality.

everything about embracing a new reality is life or death to the physical human system. it just is. and when we have been violated, it’s nearly impossible. BUT. it does happen. if we are honest, and if we are courageous. otherwise no way and we repeat the same patterns forever. the younger we are, the easier it is to change. many of us never do. like the young man from the early 00s, and like the one I met ten-plus years later. the second young man hurt as much, but differently, than the first young man. perhaps it was mixed up with the first hurt and that was why. or perhaps it was because there was much more depth to the trauma of the second young man, and something even my own mind didn’t want to consider or process — for him, or for myself and  my own life betrayals on the most foundational of levels. either way, I listened this time. I observed and I tried to be just friends with this young man. but I couldn’t do it, it was too painful. I told myself that I would do exposure therapy on myself with him because I needed to figure out what it was that was so triggering and difficult. I did my best. but all I saw was the unused potential. it burned like a stake in my heart. I didn’t want to keep doing the exposure therapy, and most of all I didn’t want to expose myself to wasted potential. and that is what he was. and I vowed to wait again, until my heart sang in that very way as it did with him and the young man from the early 00s before I pulled the romance trigger. I knew that testing fate was wrong, and I knew that I was being tested to develop faith. something we so so lack as individuals and as a collective.

developing faith has always been my best navigation tool and it has come with heaps of rewards. faith is perhaps the only cure for not allowing our reality to shift due to our algorithmic programming. but faith is not laying out in instruction manuals all over creation. faith is specific. both of the men I met lacked faith. and so they lacked a whole bunch else. faith is the first step to not being a controlling person, controlled by the unconscious. and I saw how faith presented me new realities that the people I had loved so, so much, missed out on.

my therapist recently referred to a cliff that one had no choice but to walk off of. and when they did, they found a walkway. that is what I feel faith is. I always took the leaps of faith, but it scared me to death. in my mind and heart, nothing could ever be as bad as it once was for me, when I literally did have no control over my life because my life was on the line if I were to consider being sovereign. perhaps that level of adversity is what was required to take a back seat to faith. when we walk off the cliff, we have not jumped — we have finally walked without expecting to jump/fall. this is where faith and a NEW REALITY intersect.

when faith and a new reality intersect, we do not talk about being afraid anymore. all of the fear has been pitted away in tragedy and disappointment. how lucky might we be, to experience such specific patterning to the degree that there is no fear left in that domain of our life? again — health, personal, and so on in terms of patterning. at the end of the day, our external and physical life is always an extension of our deepest core beliefs and patterning. and when a new reality presents, the notion of “this must be a trick” is a subtle feeling, but not an over thought or comment.

this is a step beyond “making it out of trauma”. or, it is a step beyond what is our current reality and then we process the trauma later because the profound paranoia or fear of it being a trick is not triggered. either way, the idea that it is too good to be true is there but it is subtle. quiet. like a one hit wonder song that plays quietly in the background. when it is subtle but it does not get in the way, it is no longer a fear. it is a new reality for us, waiting in the wings. I suppose that each of the young men that I talk about here were not close to their new realities and I don’t see either of them ever being so. it’s not much of an opinion of mine, but rather an intuition. I had so wished for them, to have their new realities: trust, love, and full experience of themselves on all levels.

recently I found myself on the other side of “this must be a trick” thinking, in one domain of my life. I realized how much this area of my life had in common with the young men as far as their romantic life was concerned. there was a period of time in which “this must be a trick” came up for me repeatedly, and held me back. and I vowed to never be held back in the way that I saw those young men reject their potential. because at the end of the day, it was all the same thing. we were each and all doing the same thing but just in different ways. and when I made it to the other side of “this must be a trick”, there was the subtle thought but zero fear. and I mean, zero. I spoke differently about what was once a fear, aka old reality. and that is how I knew it had changed, that my new reality was here, and that it was not a trick.

jumping realities aka profoundly healing the unconscious is so rare. it’s why we are so politically divided at the moment. we are addicted to “what we know to be true”. it’s so amusing and also exhausting for me to watch. but we are heading into a new territory via time and space which supports and also commands in a new reality, so it will be interesting to see who progresses and who regresses because the oil and water is for sure.

“it’s too good to be true – it must be a trick” feeling and speaking…pay attention to what people say. it has so much information. and if you can not understand it at the time, wait…the answers will surely come as you connect more to your own truth. and in doing so, you will know who is afraid — who is in another reality — and who is not. most importantly, you.

 

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general / personal / other Healing Elaine® updates including my upcoming TV Series

Posted on Categories © Healing Elaine®: Bridging The Gap Between Medical & Spiritual™Tags , , , , , , , , , , ,

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

it has been a long, windy, nearly unendurable three years for me. my life has run on fascinating two to three-year cycles, for roughly the last twenty years, with regard to personal lessons earned and learned. to read more about my specific last three life cycles including this one, feel free to read this article.

the above article doesn’t spell out the particulars of the themes and over-arching lessons during my most recent cycle, but I will share it and it will be shared via upcoming press and media in 2020.

when I speak about cycles, I am speaking about personal awakenings. it is something I learned about for the first time when my life fell to absolute shambles and pieces in 2002. this would not be the last time. I have been used to “resurrecting” my entire life, and so as I am incredibly familiar with adversity I was able to make it through what I consider to be personal deaths – associated with the aforementioned cycles. with that said, and in each and every period of time all three times, I am amazed I made it through. this last cycle in particular, which I can officially say has closed or is extremely close to closing, was the most treacherous and educational of all.

what I share here and in the above link to a relative article of mine, is not to be confused with anything medical or psychological. I am writing about deeply personal, soul-wise, spiritual philosophical states and if you can not relate, it simply means that you can not relate — nothing more. as I’ve stated many times, and there is a reason I am stating it, I treat a number of top clinical psych experts, as well as top tier medical doctors and scientists to solve problems that they have not been able to otherwise solve. I also study and seek therapy weekly with a top neuroscientist psychoanalyst. with that said, I know that my head is screwed on straight and I am not going off into hippy dippy ayahuasca or substance-related “enlightenment” when I’m writing about concrete human experiences I’ve had and how I interpret them…and so that I may also share with others going through what I’ve gone through. I’ve never found a hand-book or guidebook for what I experience, so this is why I write. knowing that what I write about resonates and exists beyond me is evident in the very unique couple thousand-plus patients I’ve had over the last decade or so. in understanding and analyzing thousands of cases, I know that boxes can’t explain everything and I know that the potential for medical misdiagnosis during an actual event of the soul is nearly always possible. I also know that those claiming to be having “spiritual” experiences are frequently very mentally ill (and will never seek or stay in clinical psych or psychoanalytical therapy with a gifted clinical expert — something many people gravely need).

so now that you know where I am coming from (and if you have been reading my blog here for many years then I need not explain myself), perhaps you can enjoy my other articles on this subject matter as well as appreciate what I include in this one. my eBooklet 1 also details much of what I express here.

there is a lot of misinformation out there. since it is suddenly (somewhere between 2012 and now?) trendy to be a so-called healer, psychic or otherwise intuitive, we see all kinds of lunatics popping up online with their paid-for followings and hard-to-discern profiles. the same might also be argued for the clinical realm too, though. I have met more bat-shit crazy clinical therapists than I can count at this point. at the end of the day, there is this: people are people are people. everywhere. the fact that they can make it through an exam or pay someone else to make it through their exam that gives them a certificate or license of some sort does not make someone excellent. going to the best school does not make someone excellent. “studying” xyz with the best person does not make someone excellent. inherently being the BEING that they claim to be, makes them excellent. and so right now, with an already questionable professional psychological / clinical realm (because, people) combined with the fact that the bandwagon of self-help gurus has landed (the trend will expire soon), many people are being tested to know one thing: truth. how does one know who’s right? or, who’s right for them? well, that is a question I asked long ago, when I began, as I thought about others lining up with me and my work. it is why my PROTOCOL is exactly such. I don’t get it right EVERY time in terms of working with the ideal candidate for my work (because, then I would have no lessons of my own to learn – and as long as I am breathing I will have them), but I come pretty close. I’ve come as close as I could have dreamed of coming, and as close as any power within me will allow. and the reason that I do this is that there must be 100% honor with the kind of work that I do, to help others. part of my point is, we end up lining up with what we are supposed to learn. if we are fooled by a charlatan for a time, then there is a valuable lesson in there — not a waste of time. I’ve been fooled many times as a younger person. and since I was brainwashed on an OPPOSITE world view as a child (as in, what is true is false — and what is false is true) I had a lot of lessons to learn!!! including my most recent ones. my main point in this paragraph is the fact that although we may not know who or what is true, we are always lining up exactly where we are supposed to be. there are good people bad people sane people and crazy people EVERYWHERE hiding behind licenses and certificates or none of the above. where we land is something to observe and learn from — then move on. don’t be scared if you met the “wrong” therapist or spiritual guru for the last two or ten years of your life. you were there learning from that person, regardless. even if they are a freak or a charlatan. even if they hurt you or lied to you. now you can build them into your brick wall and move on with all of the difficulty that they offered you to sort through by confusing you, and simply being who they are. it’s ok if they aren’t for you. you gained. next.

the last few years felt like that for me — a whole lot of inverted realities and situations, lessons for old nascent present-life themes and programming that my soul desperately needed to overcome so that I can move into the blessings and gifts that are waiting for me as I move into a new chapter in my life. that said, these periods of time — they feel like voids — can’t be fixed or remedied by anything that you do…even if you LEARN the lesson. as we walk out of our bodies for a time, to adjust our new cellular and updated unconscious memory within the body, we simply WAIT. I refer to this quite a bit in my eBooklet 1. and no matter how deep my process goes, I am never prepared for these void periods (aka dark night of the soul – and if you think you’ve had one, you probably have NOT. there are barely words for this and you don’t want one). but then that’s what the end of one of these things is for! preparation.

I’m prepared. in the last three years — an avalanche which began in September 2016 — a number of things happened with people and…things. for starters, beginning September 2016. I had a promising partnership just — thwarted. overnight. with no reason. and I mean, none. now, I don’t want to go into conspiracies like an evil eye. BUT. I do believe that those who have the evil eye out (or practice ANYTHING against the will of the Universe and God) will often MATCH the lessons that we need for our soul to grow. and so for a time, it could be considered a “curse” (I don’t believe in curses and I am explaining why here) — but it is only a curse with an expiration. the expiration is the moment we are done learning the lesson with the person place or thing that God lined us up with to purge xyz THING from our conscious or unconscious mind. the fascinating thing is, the person place or thing that is inhabiting the “dark” energy that is ordained for us to line up with (particularly when we chronically live in fear as I did) — often in the form of a human, hosting this energy — has a blindspot because it is arrogant. like a sociopath, the kinds of people who host dark energy contain a blindspot that cancels their ability to consider that their darkness being used to create some kind of THING is only temporary. they have this blindspot because when they are directing this sort of energy (call it an evil eye if you like) they are in an ADDICTION. this dark energy is the same as addiction. it fools. it plays. it falsely claims to be one thing but it is another. and just like the evil eye caster, it is deluded into thinking it is powerful. little does it know, it is a pawn in God’s plan to simply help another person (sometimes by torturing them) transcend their lessons and die/rebirth. I’ve never experienced it any other way. and in the middle of one of these incidents or particularly overall cycles, it feels that there is no way out. in September 2016, a snowball (begun with an “evil eye”) began to form and come to its fullest size/avalanche within two years.

so the first thing that was thwarted was the partnership. simultaneously, there was a very difficult time for three of my clients at the same time and ironically in the same location (not in NYC). one of my employees became very ill. by November 2016 I received a bizarre audit from the IRS (since I am METICULOUS, I had literally one dozen journals/calendars with every single thing I did every day of the year!) which took a long time (over one year!) and caused restriction for me. I unwittingly hired INCREDIBLY corrupt people to take care of some of my logistics. my tax info was being sent to another address for months which cost me thousands extra. my first big press piece was met with a stalker, as well as an army of trolls. someone threatened my assistant. I was followed for months on end and had my photo taken outside of my residence. by July 2017 I hired a corrupt, fake media consultant who brought two others just like them to my table. I took those folks on because I trusted this person (even though my radar was up and I tried to push back but was told I was crazy — ALWAYS listen to your gut!, no matter how quiet it is) and had my websites stolen and re-listed with someone else’s A records. I was played with for tens of thousands by someone who had no real business or training, but who name-dropped like crazy so I thought they were legit. by August 2017 after having my sites stolen and restricted, I was (unwittingly at the time – I did not know this for a fact until this fall of 2019) being censored and shadowbanned online, starting with Google. it then extended to all other social media platforms — basically anything you can think of. [it’s still happening. my site won’t work or load from many computers or phones. every day, it is something new]. that year, my revenue took a dive, because it can take hundreds of people/voicemails for me to vet/know “this is the right time for this person” (if I haven’t called you back, please read my About section to understand my process – I do this for YOU, otherwise I would just have an open door policy and crush it with $ simply to crush it) before working with someone. during 2017 as well, I met at least three very pronounced sociopaths and had to discover that on my own, after the fact (this was particularly the most rewarding part of this cycle — SEEING mental illness, personality disorders, and the magnitude of such in ALL DEGREES…I developed an understanding of people on a level I did not know exists) – this nearly sucked the life out of me. a promising partnership ghosted in 2017. it was something that I had spent months on, and laying the foundation for. a patient of mine had a severe breakdown. the expenses associated with trying to understand how to retrieve my websites and IP and also WHAT was happening to my traffic (now I know!) were more than I could handle and I had a massive six-figure bill due to my revenue change. I had people I supported and built businesses for get greedy, deceptive and malicious — because they lacked something inside. I had clients of mine worm-tongued about ME by people I supported and promoted (same reason as above) who had no legs to stand on when we first met. betrayal became a psychologically fascinating phenomenon for me to observe and know what that meant about ME. mostly it was this. I also had someone threaten to kill themselves, and blame me for it (classic). there is a lot that I’m missing, but all of this over a two-year period of time, and then a year buffer on top of it (2019) to determine: “SO, WHAT DID YOU LEARN”?

some reading this who don’t get it might say “law of attraction! law of attraction! you brought this upon yourself”! — yeah ok. we attract exactly the lessons that each of us in particular need. I don’t need the same lessons as someone else and they don’t need the same lessons as me. my purpose, which is particular, factors into EVERYTHING that I went through. another person with a different purpose would have NO NEED to go through what I went through. and so my point is, all things are truly relative to where you are supposed to be in life. it’s not all necessarily attraction, at least not in the way that the trendy spiritual folks try to write about or preach it. you can’t reflect back my life to me from the 7th floor if I live on the 11th floor. all you see is the 7th floor. that’s your reality. in this way, it is important to chat with people who have been through similar experiences and feel similar consciously (note I did not say “spiritually”). there are a ton of “coaches” who have no flocking clue as to how the world works. and if you want a tip on finding the right coach, then I say find someone who actively goes to therapy. find their LinkedIn or professional page to verify WHO THEY ARE. people who can’t confront themselves or be vulnerable in any way DO NOT GO to therapy. those who are able to be honest, and have honest conversations with themselves, GO TO therapy. or something equivalent and that addresses the MIND not the “astral field”. it’s time to get real. this choo-choo train of “self-help gurus” is ending and what we will be left with somewhere and collectively is truth (a regulation for this work will present — and I believe that regulation is simple: truth).

so my “law of attraction” above is not really such. my soul was going to learn those deep, important lessons, no matter what I did or didn’t do and no matter how “positive” I think. first of all, I am an exceedingly positive person. I find the beautiful lining in any and every problem. and during this last period of my life, it was the first time or perhaps first time of all three times (cycles) that I failed to find it. I was at less than 1% battery as far as my own capable life force was concerned. I had allowed myself to be taken and pulled from in all sorts of directions. this never, for a moment, though, impacted my work with others. that is always, always, an exceptional and protected domain. it will be that way until I die, likely because I only do it when I know it’s really right. I also did not work for weeks at a time (God’s plan – in part thanks to censorship). within and around the snowball that started in September 2016 and that became the avalanche by December 2018, I wasn’t able to see the light. there was no one there to rescue me. I didn’t fully connect with my then-therapist any longer (thankfully I have a new one, and I can hardly believe how incredible they are). I questioned my sanity (again – and also realizing that crazy people don’t question their sanity) as it seemed something so giant was changing in me from the inside out. I spent all of 2019 letting go. letting go of the way I used to let people engage with me or take from me. I let go of imbalances. and I tried to let go of knowing how many people I came across who had bad intentions toward me – simply because they wanted something that I had. and that’s not how it works — bad intention can only “take” from another for so long.

all of 2019 has been a clearing of the decks. a healing of old fears and traumas around people taking care of me and how it will never happen. a healing of projecting my positive qualities elsewhere and disowning them for fear of being powerful (whatever that even means – to me it means my 100% self). 2019 has been a rebuilding after a full-on two-year-plus period of soul desert time. I’ve done this before. it’s the ultimate resurrection.

when the personal resurrection occurs because what we went through did not kill us, we are in the ultimate power (as referenced above) for a time. this time happens to be my sun sign in Jupiter. then the next year happens to be my moon sign in Jupiter. judging simply from previous twelve-year Jupiter cycles, I know that there is nothing that can get in my way now. I truly did not know if I would be able to “get up” after this last hazing of sorts. but I did. slowly. and I died a million times during it. and for the first time in twelve years, I feel not only mySELF like never before, but even better than before. when we step / back into our ultimate power, it is then that we transcend all that handed us a snowball for the avalanche. I refer to this as karma. I have lived out my karma to integrate new lessons pertinent to the things I have asked for (be careful what you ask for – you will get it if you are willing to do the work around it which will feel like it has killed you), and anyone/anything associated with serving me that ugliness will know theirs. it’s not about revenge-thinking, it’s about physics. and I’ve never seen it any other way. and so watch alongside me. everyone and everything that participated in my two-year tornado will also experience a reaction. in my personal life, with regard to themes of extreme betrayal (I have had so many of these lessons — so that I may TRANSCEND early pieces of myself that I NO LONGER NEED), I have ALWAYS SEEN that there is a one to two-year reactionary period for anyone/anything involved. meaning, their life changes too. according to what they put out. once and now that the cycle is over.

our greatest currency is not intention, it is INTEGRITY. I see and hear a lot of people ripping off my words, passing them off as their own in their “advice” columns or podcasts, when they barely understand them to begin with. I know this because when they met me, they knew nothing. no language, no metaphors, no analogies. you can’t rip off ideas if you have never LIVED them. if you have lived them, they are YOURS. and many of those who rip things off in general are as far from “light” as one can get. they wear that of others. and their facades will indeed crack. and they will be seen. and many of us will learn from this. it’s happening in every domain in life. often, my personal life cycles are timed with the collective or just ahead of collective trend. right now is no different. and my currency (truth, clarity) is greater than ever. this means the outside world will line up with it and it will be seen externally since the baby is ready to come out. the baby is a metaphor for all of the integrated horrendous lessons of this last period of time. and again, as we learn these lessons and move forward, everyone who had a role in our life changes too — and we see it externally, for better, or for worse. again, I can’t express the importance of integrity. if you are doing it ANY other way, you are asking for trouble. you can still about-face, reverse, and clean it up.

one thing that came out of all of the above this last period of time is my TV Series. I wrote it in the Spring of 2018, in the middle of my avalanche as my entire world — inner and outer — was falling apart in order to construct my future. I am calling the series Great Awakening, which reflects a period of time on our planet. it is a six-part TV Series docu-drama based on my six eBooklets that I wrote in 2015 and published in 2016. there are not words to express the kind of show this will be, as it’s never been done – content-wise and otherwise. I’m going all out for this show. brick by brick the foundation has been built and although it was sitting on my shelf next to my big book since early 2018, it became time to deliver it just this past September 2019. my passion for media via multimedia has been there forever. it’s why I dipped into TV and Film over a decade ago (during my last lovely Jupiter cycle!). I will be putting out some notices for additional people I’ve worked with as a means to contact me (I do not use my old email any longer to send emails) in the event they want to speak about their experiences relative to our work together and my eBooklets for the TV Series. this is surely a time in which I can really bridge HE™ and all that it is, with my outer world focus.

as I reclaim my inner power at this time, a lot of things are clear. it’s clear how different this show will be. it’s clear who was who and what was what in the past. it’s amazing that I made it through the last eye of the needle. I truly did not know if I would a few times. I reached a place of knowing that I thought I already had, but I didn’t. I see my next life chapter clearly. I have a few big dreams that I will absolutely make come true this year, and I can’t wait to share them with you. those I’ve worked with know the real me. and I want to find ways to maintain that connection even as I navigate other waters.

I have press coming up that no “evil eye” can ruin. some of it is international/global. one piece will be about my censorship. mainstream news has not reported on either topic before in the way that it’s been set up for me/I’m setting it up right now. there are a lot of reasons for this. and it’s been my focus for some time. it’s felt unsafe in the past. and, I reached a point last year at which I didn’t care whether it was safe or not anymore. I’m beyond that point now and it feels glorious. I have proper support with cyber tech, legal, therapist and beyond. I am ready to embrace what is next and what is next is very public stuff.

as my focuses shift back and forth I still consider all kinds of work, so follow my protocol here on my website. if you do not hear from me, it simply means I’m not able to see you or anyone at that time. typically people get that.

I am also changing my mailing list format (again) so stay tuned to be able to subscribe again if you need to.

happy almost new year!

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HOLIDAY TREAT for former patients * * December 2019 only

Posted on Categories © Healing Elaine®: Bridging The Gap Between Medical & Spiritual™Tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Alejandro Padron

special thanks to my holiday hair wizard, Yannhou, pictured here beside me

this offer is inspired by a special young woman I met earlier this year.

for December only, I will offer something that I have never done before: ONE HOUR sessions. these are available to former patients only, and if you keep up with my materials you will likely understand why (it takes me roughly 20 hours minimum to fully explain and process someone’s life crisis or crises and help them integrate all of the moving pieces associated with understanding such – hence, making radical shifts. doing just one hour with someone I have never met is not only not reflective of my work, but it would likely be jarring for them in a way that they did not expect nor understand and it would take away from all of the reasons that I do this work in the first place. this, is why I have NEVER been able to do just one hour with anyone new, not even 10 years ago. there is just too much to explain).

the format for this is obviously different, but you can prepare all the same as it will “hit” you the same way (both before and after the session) as a longer and more intensive session would. you know this because we already worked together. for example; I go to therapy weekly. I believe that the being of my therapist is far more than “just” a therapist. he has a special energy, and I can FEEL it the night before we meet for our ONE HOUR session. it then reverberates for days, as I go over the notes that I took during our work together. one might say that he, too, has inspired this brief offer I am putting out for the month of December, because my number one concern used to be “am I giving enough?” to each person I saw. in many ways, this man has reflected back all that I give…just by being who HE is. it is through my own therapy work with him, that I began to more fully understand not only my gifts, but HOW it is that what people have said about me could be true…in other words, I have been able to see how transformative just one hour can be in the presence of a certain individual. it has taken me a long time to fully understand my core value (for reasons expressed ALL throughout this blog!), and how that value corresponds to my work with others. I no longer feel “maybe I didn’t give enough”. and from that important transcendence, here we are for December!

keep in mind that we will be on a clock. it will truly be just one hour. you may spend that hour with me however you like.

in addition, another reason that I am offering this is because I now have my shooting schedule for the TV Series I have created. I will send out a separate update about that. the brief is, I wrote a series about two years ago (when my world began crumbling down, yet again), based off of the six eBooklets that I wrote in 2015. a lot has transpired in the last two years. it is now ready for liftoff. in terms of specifics/logistics, capital/funding will be complete and we will finish shooting the series (six episodes) and sell it to the likes of HBO or an equivalent or better if it exists. with that said, I will be truly shifting gears for a time to focus on my media (I am writing my first big book, and have other creative projects in the wheelhouse). as I have stated continuously over the past two years, the days of me seeing multiple people per day or week, and now even per month, have certainly ended (for MANY reasons! not just my own evolution, but then again all outside events correlate to our personal evolution). I can’t believe the way that I used to work (sometimes 100 hour weeks!), but I loved every minute of it and that work and time during my life is a huge inspiration for the series. with all of this in mind, I will be excited to see familiar faces and rub hearts in person — beyond that, I have big plans! which I hope you will be part of, and will keep you updated on.

and on THAT note, please subscribe to the subscription link on the home page on the far upper right corner. I lost most of my subscription list, and I don’t pull mailing lists from my former email (also, do not email me! read my former posts to stay updated on that front), nor do I want to spam people each week with updates that they did not sign up for. although I have THOUSANDS of emails in my possession, my work is not about the business of sales or promotion — it is about the business of attraction. so, the only way you will know what is going on is if you sign up for the newsletter (be sure to check your spam! because it WILL go there), or consistently check my social media pages (all of them, in case one of them “gets deleted”). you may also follow my Instagram here.

to schedule a ONE HOUR session with me, call 917-985-1221 and leave a voicemail stating such. this is for December ONLY, and for former patients only. I can’t wait to reconnect with you this holiday season!

love, Elaine

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everything that you are doing and going through now is preparing you for where you want to be

Posted on Categories © Healing Elaine®: Bridging The Gap Between Medical & Spiritual™Tags , , , , , , , , , , , ,

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

“you’re scattered”; “you need to choose one vocation”; “pick a focus”…I used to hear these things ALL OF THE TIME. in my 20s. except, I knew deep within me something that THEY did not know: I was building my multi-faceted future and the road to MY destiny, by…being multi-faceted and living MY life, MY way. this is how it should be. we should each find out, who WE are, not who THEY tell us to be.

when I was 18 months, I climbed up a ladder on the side of my house and launched myself over the top onto the roof. I also used to hurl myself over my crib bars to escape it. so, perhaps it’s in my soul’s blood to venture out like a Maverick. but, you don’t have to be a so-called Maverick or pioneer-type to understand that EVERYTHING you are doing and going through now is preparing you for where you want (when I say want, I speak to the AUTHENTIC you on a deep and honest psychological and spiritual level) to be.

I used to hit 2-4 year periods of “ceiling”. meaning, I would focus on something for a period of time, get bored, and move on to the next thing. this never meant that I was abandoning those things/skills/experiences that I got “bored” with and moved on from — in fact, it was quite the opposite – I was filing my experiences and interests into a folder that would later be part of the book of my life. however, each time I was “done” with something (it might have been a job, or a relationship, or an interest), I would hear the riot act from many people around me. people who didn’t understand. people who were jealous of my tenacity. people who both didn’t understand AND were jealous. and so, in order to KEEP MOVING and hearing myself, I had to do one thing and one thing only: abandon ego. I had to be willing to be criticized, and stand in the face of it and feel the shame or guilt or whatever emotions came up each time I was told by people/society/whomever that I was “wrong”, for being who I was/am.

when we abandon ego, we grow. ego holds us back. it wants to and, in fact, needs to so that we may “survive”, according to the timelessness of the ego which doesn’t know whether we are 9 years old or 40 years old because the ego doesn’t work in a linear fashion. so each time I hit the skids, seemingly, and so to speak, in my life, I had to abandon ego. and it felt like a death each time. and each time I did it, I held true to knowing that all of my mini-deaths were part of a much larger focus –and that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I knew that the flash-in-a-pan successes of “famous” or “successful” people were usually just that: flashes. I never desired something temporary, because I am not an addict in terms of short-term highs. I prefer the long, solid, unflappable highs — which really aren’t highs at all. and in this way, in this part of my life, I am the opposite of an addict. the way I see it, life, the meaning of it, we are all destined to move as FAR AWAY from addict behavior (in any and all categories of our life!) as possible, and that is the meaning of life.

the fact is, we are all multi-faceted. when we are constricted, we suffer (notably, physically). when we don’t listen to our own SELF, we suffer. we do this because we care what other people think. I wrote a whole article about that here. you should stop caring, as much as possible, about what other people have to say about YOUR life. and when you do, EVERYTHING that you have been doing — the “mistakes”, the “disappointments” that you have “suffered” because you “did it wrong” — will reveal themselves to you to be the very THREAD of your soul, being woven to show you your bigger picture. for example…

my first job (I won’t count babysitting from the time I was 10 on – ) at age 15 was working at an ice cream parlor. my second, of many hospitality jobs to come, was working as a hostess and waitress. I also worked at a snack bar flipping burgers. I did every kind of hospitality job there was, for many years, and as well in between “real” jobs. what is a real job anyway? going to a place to promote someone else’s dream and make them successful? sure. ALL “jobs” are really equal — and most people don’t know why they are doing them or who they are doing them for — unless they are doing the job for THEMSELVES. when you can do a job (ANY job) for yourself, you are living in integrity and actually able to GIVE something back to society. because you care about the xyz thing or job. but back to my first job. one might say, “what does hospitality have to do with anything else you have done? wasn’t that a waste of time?” – to which I would say no. I would also say that working in corporate finance was not a waste of time. nor was selling overnight shipping to C-Suites (only). why were these things not a waste of time?: they factor into EVERYTHING that I do today. while working in hospitality, I had to get to know all different kinds of people and statuses and understand how they responded to their own needs. while working in a corporate environment in finance, I had to learn how part of the WORLD worked – I had big accounts poached from me by my actual BOSSES, and I saw the seedy, competitive, shrewd side of business and masculine energy at play…and I noted how many of these masculine energies were jealous of me because I had that similar masculine energy but I was wearing a skirt, or whatever. I had to learn while selling overnight shipping, exactly how to gage the intonation of a voice over the phone and what that meant when I had only 15 seconds to pitch a top executive (C-Suites only! company rule!) and get them to meet with me face-to-face. I had to understand why the ONLY person to EVER approach for anything in life, is the end decision maker. because no one else CARES. no one. all of these things that I learned, developed my understanding of people in the real world, not the “psychic” world. and I needed, very much, the tangible and intangible understandings that resided in my heart and mind to blend so that I could successfully understand and help other people. helping people has forever been my goal – desire – purpose.

the thing is, though, I doubted myself at times. I worried that maybe I WAS what I heard other people say to me, about me; maybe I was scattered, maybe I was lost, and maybe I was (gasp)…non-committal. but, I knew better deep inside and I would keep going anyhow. yet the doubt hurt and it slowed me down longer than I wish I had been slowed down. this article is in large part about that — the doubt that comes in, when you are just being who you are. and the thing is, it is healthy to doubt because we can re-assess where we are and how to do it better. but, it’s not necessary to linger for longer than that healthy purpose. and people who live in fear, who are afraid to pursue their dreams, will make you doubt yourself. you can’t listen. and, it can be hard to know what is doubt and what is reality…

the way to know the difference between doubt and reality is one way and I said it earlier: check your ego. who are you doing things for, and why? who are you appeasing? who are you trying to fit in for? if you can answer those questions, AND still go your own way, you can temporarily kill your ego and keep it in check. doubt is healthy and it washes over us as a feeling. reality — that we are actually doing something wrong — is when we are doing something strictly for outside praise, OR when we really DON’T feel like committing to anything and so we change jobs or interests at the drop of a hat in order to avoid ourselves. again, the key ingredient to know the difference is your ego death. if you are willing to go through the range of feelings that accompany an ego death and face them head on, it is likely that you are just in doubt. if you are not willing to go through the above, then there may be a reality to your doubt that has to do with your unconscious mind and patterns and not a healthy ego death. THAT notion is an entirely different article, BUT, if you are self-aware you can switch gears and then it is all the same anyhow…you are working toward everything that you were designed to be, once you surrender.

when I jumped away from corporate, I really had a death. I felt like a loser. I felt like I pissed away a 5-star education and my degrees. this is in part because I was “listening” to society by observing those around me. the people who just did their jobs, met their spouses at a happy hour, and moved to NJ to have kids. now, if I’m being really honest with myself, I WISH I could have that life. it would be so much more level (stable?) than the one my soul chose. there have been many, many times I have asked God to please let me just live a normal life. but I know what I’m made of – and I can’t change how I am made. and so I watched many of my friends go the conventional path while I wondered if there was something wrong with me, and if I was royally messing up my life. and, simultaneously to all of that concern I had, ironically and paradoxically, I ALSO DID NOT CARE. because I could hear my soul. not caring does not take away doubt and worry, though. and, as I say over and over again, there is never EVER any “better” path for any one person. if your destiny is to have an amazing family and work at the DMW your entire life then THAT IS A LIFE AND A DESTINY and a VALUABLE ONE – because the only part of living that ever matters is our ALIGNMENT (when thoughts = feelings = words = actions!). but aligned people know that. I know folks who work very “menial” jobs and they are SO HAPPY. because they are in alignment, and they get it that there is no such thing as “more important purpose” as it relates to one person or the next and their “outer world success”. all things are relative, and the only important thing is whether we are aligned or not. truly.

so in the above example, jumping from corporate, I felt like I was in no-man’s land probably for about a month. looking back, that is a REALLY brief time as compared to other jumps and subsequent dark periods I had, when honoring my path. and, like the other times during which I “jumped”, I wondered and worried if anything I had done in the past would relate to my future or if it was all just a waste. well: nothing was a waste.

in between film and tv jobs I worked MANY other jobs. and during that period of my life, the tv and film days, I also mistakenly thought “ok, this is it, this is my identity, I must focus ONLY on this now”…which was so not true. because we are never our job or our outer-world identity. and like all of the other times when I was either “forced” to jump, or my reality was ripped away from me, so then was my focused period of time on tv and film. and this is because I “HAD” to publicly set up Healing Elaine® and see that to fruition and “completion”. again, I felt scared, that one thing had entirely nothing to do with the next, and my now-4 careers absolutely would not blend. it is also important to note, that again, that feeling was just my ego. or I never would have kept facing it then jumping. and so I moved through that awful feeling of giving birth to myself (again) and dealt with the same push-back I always had from others who told me “I thought you were an actress, though?”. sure, I was an actress. I was also a hamburger-flipper. and a waitress. and an account executive. and…a person. I just chose to surrender to all that I was inside, because THAT was my calling. again, I didn’t consciously want to be made “this” way. but we are how and who we are, and it is all for a REASON…and it doesn’t matter what the path “looks” like. I then realized that YES OF COURSE, my career in corporate AND my career in tv and film in front of and behind the camera OBVIOUSLY line up with everything I did with Healing Elaine®! because without HE™, I would have no message. and without a message, all of my work with corporate and tv and film would mean…nothing to me as far as my bigger purpose was concerned.

I’ve mentioned that The Alchemist is my favorite book. it’s a lot of people’s favorite book, probably. and it is a genius book that I read in 2005 and again this year (and wrote a little instagram post about) — at which point it took on an entirely new meaning. and the point of the book is similar to the long-winded point I am making here: everything that you desire, from the perspective of integrity and ego death and learning, is preparing you for what you will become/already are. who you are is timeless, and it doesn’t matter WHAT that looks like on the surface. we never know God’s exact strategy in a timeline form, and it is not up to us to decipher. exerting that kind of control and demand onto the Universe is not the best way to go, and that is why so many people suffer. I’ve suffered in this way, during my transitions between one “career” and the next. and when I look back on EVERYTHING that I have done, it is ALL CONNECTED. had I listened to what anyone else had to say about my path, I wouldn’t be here. I would be stuck. and so it was worth all of the horrible feelings I had to contend with during my “leaps”. during the times that close friends, best friends, even, shamed me for my choices because they didn’t understand. the times that no one would support me or lend a hand because they said I was “irresponsible”. all of the horrible parts of my transitions were worth it. and so are yours…

you may be thinking “Elaine, I’ve been at the same job for 20 years, I can’t relate to anything you are saying”…well, sure you can. think about the last 20 years. time is IRRELEVANT here. what IS relevant, is where it has lead you. it has lead you somewhere. perhaps that somewhere is a conclusion. perhaps it is the understanding that you are very content and therefore exactly where your soul wants you to be. and if you are not happy, it has lead you to understanding that, so that you may LEAP and ONLY THEN understand the last 20 years of your life! it is really all simple, and perfect. and the point is, you can’t get it wrong!

make an outline of your life. all of the choices, jobs, and relationships. write them down. connect the earlier parts to the present tense parts, and then imagine that all of that is leading to something that you can not yet see, because you didn’t yet leap in some way (unconsciously). leaping does not have to mean leaving a job or making a tangible change. leaping can simply be a state of mind, a willingness to admit ego defeat, or something else within the confines of your mind. that leap, which is a surrender and realization, maps out your next steps. how magnificent is that? and if you are honest with yourself, you will understand it all. if you are not honest with yourself, you will remain confused. honesty or lack thereof produces karma. there is no way around that. and in either case, we are exactly where we are destined to be. let go of guilt.

I think of the deep, isolating feelings of personal death around my “identity” and how long some of those periods lasted. I wrote an article about these periods here — it’s long and worth a read. if you are confused about what “it” is, that is your long-winded transition, I also wrote about destiny and stagnation here. I imagine that all of us have (these) periods, during which we self-question. and what I want to share and convey is the fact that you can’t get “it” wrong. stop comparing your life to anyone else’s. NONE OF IT MATTERS. you probably would NEVER trade the relative facts anyhow, to be in “someone else’s shoes”! understanding that there is no external choice you can make that will alter your reality is important – it always has to be contended with on the inner level, and thoroughly, first, to count. if you are in your 20s and you wonder “what you are doing”, know that if you honor yourself, it remains to be seen. if you are in your 60s and you wonder “what have I done”, know that if you honor yourself now, it remains to be revealed and you will have peace. you can’t make a wrong decision in life, no matter what your life has looked life. yesterday already happened, and tomorrow doesn’t exist. really think about that concept.

find a way to work with both your inner and outer realities, and find common ground between the two. everything that you are doing (outer) and going through (inner) now is preparing you for where you want to be, whether you are 20 or 80.

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Healing Elaine® November alignment pop-up for former patients (only)

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©Healing Elaine®, photo by Alejandro Padron / @Ginoalephotos

11.11 – 11.12 – 11.19 – 11.20 – 11.21 – 11.22 – 11.29

the world is run on numbers and numerical quotients. letters of the alphabet have numerical values. everything that we do factors into mathematics, and mathematics factors into everything that we do. there is a symbiotic relationship between our tangible human footprint, and dates and times. I talk a little bit about my viewpoint/understanding of the above in other posts, and during sessions. long story short, the way I see it and have experienced it, there is certain and particular opportunity or “openness” on certain dates — and it can be advantageous to work with said available energy.

the above dates are special dates (specific numerical patterns, that designate alignment — and, remember, that alignment can “look” both positive AND negative, depending upon what is being looked at and who is doing the looking) that I will focus upon as far as looking at scheduling pop-up sessions this month for former patients. these pop-up sessions are abbreviated luxury sessions, and you will stay overnight in our designated workspace.

leave a voicemail on the business line at 917-985-1221 to book a November pop-up session.

p.s. since brrrrrrrrrr it’s starting to get chilly out, I had to break out the faux fur winter hats! the hat in this photo is by Pandemonium in Seattle, in case you are also a hat lady/gent and want to take a gander at their collection.

p.p.s. I am still having major newsletter issues. people are either 1) not receiving the newsletter 2) it’s going to spam 3) the new blog posts/newsletters are not being sent at all to subscribers. please bear with  me – if you can subscribe (AGAIN) on my home page, and check to see if you get an email when I make a new post (check spam and un-mark accordingly), that would be helpful to stay updated. I spoke with a former patient today and she said “I have not gotten a post from you in 2 years and I was subscribed for a number of years prior”. honestly, I can’t explain any of this. from the website theft 2.5 years go, to other issues which I am investigating, it could be a number of things. I have worked with ample tech experts (am still working on it) and for whatever reasons, there are issues here. I hope to have things back to normal like the old days, when I would just hit “publish” and everyone I have worked with got my latest update. thank you for being patient, and please check my Healing Elaine® social media as well for new updates!

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my contact info has changed

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Healing Elaine®

this is a notice to former patients — all of my contact info has changed. I no longer email or reply from my former email address, and my new business phone number for phone calls and voicemails only is 917-985-1221. do not email me.

please subscribe to my newsletter on my Home page here (please note that my newsletter subscription is still having some technical difficulties, so please check back within the next week to see that you are able to enter your email address and receive a confirmation link to your email to authorize new articles sent your way via Healing Elaine®/healingelaine.com – you may also need to double-check from time-to-time that the emails are not going to spam boxes) to receive new updates. you may also follow my social media, as many of my updates are on my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter pages, as well as my LinkedIn company page. I also use Medium, and all of the above social media icons are located throughout my website.

please read my entire About section if you are new to my website and curious about my services and protocol. again, if you are a former patient, please re-familiarize yourself with my website and About and Services sections.

if we worked together a long time ago, please be cognizant of the fact that I can not possibly do pro bono work and “quick advice” for hundreds of people just because they have a “quick question” months and years later — this is not only unreasonable, but impossible. please read all of my updates – my work and format has changed, as I have stated many times throughout the last few years.

I am excited for the broader ways in which I might be able to serve and work with many people at the same time. I am also excited to include former patients in my (said) upcoming events and ideas, in any and all ways possible. you are amazing. stay tuned!

thank you

 

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what people do when (and why) they feel out of control – and what that says about you

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©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

as my therapist always says, to which I concur and echo: The Mind Will Do Anything To Be (Feel) In Control. ANYTHING. therefore, what if you are a person who — simply by existing — makes other people feel “out of control”?

well, I wrote a whole eBooklet about it in 2015. it’s called “we are not attacked because we are flawed; we are attacked because we are brilliant. learn about the physics of human behavior”. then I wrote a supplement/branch to such called “fact: people will try to bait you and/or flip out on you when they want something they cannot get from you – because what they want is actually INTANGIBLE”.

the fact of the matter is, that many (most? I have a hard time with this one — because I do the opposite of what many or most people do — I consistently go WITHIN for answers) people will modify YOU, to make their world make sense. because it’s easier. it’s easier than learning (learning is hard — that requires growth, and growth feels painful).

a lot of addicts reach out to me for “help”. there is a big difference between an addict in recovery, and an active addict. in fact, it is night and day. I always say that each of us is an addict — to someTHING (belief, pattern, substance, way of being), until we aren’t. so I place myself no higher and no lower than any other human. what matters, though, is one thing: INTEGRITY. with integrity we have honesty and with honesty we have grace. with integrity, we have the ability to heal. without integrity, we lack the ability to heal – EVER. I believe that some people are born to be addicts for life, not because of addiction…but because they are born without integrity. plain and simple.

integrity runs the gamut. the place in which integrity matters the most, is within someone’s own personal heart. when a person is in integrity with themselves (this means, they are willing to take the harder trail, simply for the greater good of ALL — not for the ease of THEMSELVES), they can overcome anything. some people are born without integrity within themselves. and so they are forever addicts (to, whatever). I recently received a phone call from what I would call a classic, active addict. I refer to it as classic, because of the charm. the charm of the multiple voicemails that they left. the charm of the facade of gratitude. the charm of the farce of engagement (engagement in my process). the fact is, like an active addict of a substance, an addict (particularly a person who has no personal integrity for their own self/life) will live so completely in their reality that if you are an empathic person, you will (temporarily, at least) believe them/their reality. I believed this person’s voicemail. I went against my grain, which is my RULE that someone must read all of my prerequisite books prior to contacting me (so, so many reasons for this rule). I rarely go against my grain — because my protocol is in place to thwart active, untreated, untreatable and terminal addicts. protocols, rules, boundaries and regulation of any sort is human mace for a said addict. and I know this. but, when spirit wants me to learn a lesson, everything that I “know” goes out the window short-term so that I may learn a new lesson. usually, it is confirmation of what I already knew to begin with, and my confidence is strengthened. such was the case with the phone call I returned to the absolute essence of ADDICT.

and in true addict form, they could not handle several things. they could not handle reading any of my requirements prior to inquiry. they did not commit to any of my protocol. they wanted one thing, and one thing only: ME. my life force. my energy. they saw only that and nothing else. and so in the context of not having immediate access to that in the way that THEY wanted, they HAD to make their world make sense. the way that this particular person decided to do that, was to write a “poor me”, fabricated online review about an experience that they never even had with me. I won’t even say typically, but in EVERY single one of the “poor me” cases (there have been a number of them) I have dealt with, either in-person or simply via phone hence dodging a bullet, the story is the same: 1) someone else is paying for their session. 2) they don’t want to do any work. 3) they don’t hear ANYTHING I am saying. the only thing that such a person is looking for, is EXACTLY what they want to hear, and all other facts and considerations are thrown out the window. they are like babies screaming for breast milk. STARK contrast to the sessions I do all year long with hands-down THE most amazing people I will ever meet. and I mean that. the people I have met and worked with are…out of this world.

in the above example, the addict phone call, my existence represented to this person not me as a person, but me as a substance. their idea of who I should be, how I should be, how I should work, for how long, and for how much money, was all a big fantasy in their mind. and when I naturally did not line up with their fantasy, they did not know what to do. I imagine, this is why they called. they are in constant pain. kicking and screaming. we all encounter these types of people, in one genre or another, all day long.

the first thing to consider in a case such as the above (which is not an uncommon experience) is that the way that people respond to you has nothing to do with you. I know this sounds redundant. and maybe cliche. but it’s true. I struggled with this the most early in life, because I needed to take things personally in order to survive. in fact, let’s take that a step further and say that I literally had to MERGE with others in order to survive — hence, deny myself completely. paradoxically, it was a huge gift waiting to happen (only, ONLY, because I TRANSCENDED the lessons). so of course that set the tone for my life. and it was very hard to understand, for a long time, that a light bulb bursting in another room…wasn’t my fault. just the same as I had to learn throughout my 20s that I was autonomous. just the same as I had to learn throughout my 30s and in the crux of my deepest research and understanding of the human condition in the most amazing ways (through Healing Elaine®) that another person’s healing had to do first, foremost, and only with their intrinsic ability/integrity — and that I was simply a catalyst. that understanding set the tone for me to, much of the time, make the right decisions about who to work with. and, when I made the “wrong” choices, they were the best learning experiences of my life. because each “accident”, each disappointment, was one step closer to the greatest understanding of myself and the world that I could have hoped for. it continues to this day.

so here’s the thing about the aforementioned fabricated phone call and review. it was a desperate and very temporary attempt at relief. relief from their feeling out of control. also in true addict form, is a hopeful trap; the trap of hopefulness — hopefulness that you will respond/engage. this happened once before. I worked (before I really knew how to spot an active, untreatable addict) with a most atrocious human being. they were not atrocious because they were an addict (please again refer to what I have said about addicts and addiction and do not cut and paste my words), they were and are atrocious because they have no desire to be well. not ever. also like many untreatable addicts, they are spoiled. as was the case with the above referenced caller, someone else was paying for their session. their sense of responsibility and contribution to the planet is obsolete – and they don’t care. and they will devour anyone around them by poking holes in them any way possible. the way to AVOID having holes poked in you is one way, and one way only: DO NOT ENGAGE. now, some may consider this article/post here as me engaging. it’s not; it’s fruit from the labor of being attemptedly attacked by what I perceive to be a dodged bullet — an active, untreatable addict. I don’t need to know what their substance of choice is, because it is all the same and it is all the same when they do not want to get well. everything that I have learned about these people, everything that I know about them, and everything that my therapist (again: they are a LEADING neuroscientist) knows and validates in each of our worlds and knowings, was simply re-affirmed by the experiences I have had with addicts who try to poke the auric field to make it bleed. therein begs the question, which rests within the title of this article, what do people’s actions say about you?

what people’s (again, from the vantage point that in a sense, some how and some way, we are all addicts at some point) actions say about you is that you are supply that they want a hit from. there is something about your existence that does not fit their narrative, because your existence is complete where theirs is void. in traditional narcissistic fashion, when their world does not match what they see in you, they become ENRAGED. this may translate to simple things such as gossip. or triangulation. or slander or defamation. I’ve seen all the tactics. the point is, like an addict, they have to DO something in order to feel better. the only problem is, not only is it a VERY temporary (if even a) fix, but when you do not engage with it, they are left hungrier and more deprived than ever! this may lead to more attempts (such as why people stalk, or even kill), but when you don’t feed the beast it either dies or moves on to someone who WILL feed it. now, I’m not talking about only dysfunctional people here, obviously. there are entire individuals working regular jobs, with regular lives, who hide in plain sight in this way. in fact they are everywhere. AND, when you are extra “complete” in some way — you are a WALKING TRIGGER for these people. now what do I mean by “extra complete”?

by extra complete (more of which you can read about in my eBooklet 5), I mean you simply carry more intrinsic integrity than them, or the average person. yes, this is a real thing. our human bodies are just containers. what rests within and around those containers is…to be understood. and it’s the bane of MY work. I call it God energy. integrity is God energy. integrity is desire to fulfill one’s own needs, with its own energy versus someone else’s. integrity is the desire to do the right thing. integrity is the will to judge one only against one’s self (yes, that is a real thing). when you are extra complete, it simply serves as a multi-fold mirror for those who are not such. they are allergic to your breath. to the sight of you. and it is nothing that you do or don’t do. it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do. you’re just alive, and that’s enough. enough to make some people feel out of control.

the greatest life force for an active, untreatable addict, aka insufferable person, is your pain. your fear. your discontent. it’s all the same family: negative emotion. when a negative void is seeking fulfillment, it will seek to pain you so that you leak. that void could be in Alaska whilst you are in Iran — and if it can poke you hard enough to bleed a negative force, it will lap it up as life from across the great ocean. just like we can send and receive electronic messages, we can send and receive e-motion (energy in motion) aka life force. so the question is, what will you allow, by way of understanding how you affect others, and what they will do in order to feel in control?

I don’t have advice for the untreatable. it’s a life sentence. the untreatable, as I continue to say, do not ever want to use their own energy for anything. I have learned, for decades, and I knew this when I was TWO, that there is no cure for a VOID of a person. but, there is a cure for the full — for those who look withIN when they feel out of control — and that cure is ice.

when you put someone on ice, you simply do not engage. period. they are on ice. you have sealed your cracks. cracks exist as empathy – because most of us naturally have it and want others to feel good. there is no feeling good for a void. it’s simply that. and as you put that void or voids on ice, you will notice how many twists and turns they make in order to get fed. and as they starve, their focus upon you dies. and they learn that the bite that they tried to take out of YOU, might just be the last bit of energy or hope that they had to learn to control themselves. if there is one thing that I do know, it is that the fates do not take well to evil. eventually, evil (the absence of integrity) crosses the wrong person, who is used as a bridge between on-earth heaven and hell for an individual whom God has offered a final test in this life. the “wrong person” takes no revenge. they don’t have to. as they know that all destiny resides within intention itself. and each of us — when we feel out of control — has a choice…driven by intention. regardless of where you are today, and how you feel today, your intention will be reflected by the responses in others (that, nonetheless have effectively nothing to do with YOU) as well as your intrinsic well of integrity.

in layman’s terms: let the world and the people in it set themselves on fire if it means living in integrity. with truth, with integrity, and with honor, there can be no wrong…even if and especially if it looks out of control to you (as it will, and as it should).

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happy New Moon this weekend. and, remember…the path to AI defeat is: CONSCIOUSNESS!

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©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

I’m on a little bit of a big tech / AI kick if you can’t tell from my yesterday’s article here. the interesting part about that article is this. I woke up earlier than usual and SHOT out of bed with the healthy impulse to write that article before noon. typically yes I get inspired, even excited to write something that I am passionate about, but yesterday felt different. I was jolted, physically. THEN, after writing my article, I take a peek at my little social media apps — and see all over the “news” that Joe Rogan had dropped his Ed Snowden interview here, and that Mark Zuckerberg was testifying live before congress! I guess it (yesterday) was a day for disclosure of some sorts. I know there will be more, and more, and more…to come. across the board. GET READY.

when I say GET READY, what I really mean, in the kindest, simplest and most straightforward terms possible is: get conscious. no, I’m not talking about vaping out at a “spiritual retreat” or venturing into foreign lands to become “awakened”; the truth is, if you can’t awaken in your ordinary life, then you simply won’t awaken. tools such as the above that I jab at are merely…tools. they aren’t the THING. there are so many misconceptions about healing and consciousness, it is just incredible. that is why I write this blog.

so getting conscious. and again, what does that have to do with AI? first of all, getting conscious will prepare you for the truth. the truth, to you, may mean one thing right now. but when you are conscious, it will mean something ENTIRELY different. no, your personal moral compass will not change. just your awareness. I’ll get back to AI in a minute.

getting conscious can be provoked by doing a number of things — again, I list so many of them in my blog here. in the most basic ways, getting conscious can be set the tone for by things like plenty of sleep (and I mean PLENTY), plenty of water, very healthy foods, and exercise. that sounds like a total cliche but you would not believe how many people bypass the (above) absolute basics to even prep their mind to receive anything clean. and, whatever is sitting there (IN THE MIND), WILL multiply — whether it is good or not, and whether it is bad or not. if you can master the basics, there are of course other ways that you can grease your consciousness portal for clean delivery. unplug and be alone. I mean it. does it hurt to be alone? emotionally? psychologically? physically? without ANY electronic devices? well then, good. go and detox from one or both (preferably both) and FEEL those chemicals coming out. so many people can not do this. they are addicted to people and devices. and how in the FLOCK do you expect to get ANY true guidance, in this state? and if you can master the latter, in addition to the basics, then you can still take it further. I’ll let you pontificate on what would be right for you, because I will tell you that what is right for you (BEYOND AND AFTER all of the above, first) is whatever is the most exciting for you. yep. whatever most pleases you. maybe it’s creative. maybe it’s not. but probably creativity fuels it whether you recognize it as such, or not. and it is ONLY after we are clean portals can we ACTUALLY go and do what we enjoy, and be certain that it is not a bandaid or a drug that we are using to cover up the pain of the basics that we can’t master because we are actually addicts. (PS: everyone is an addict. in some way. to some thing. it’s just a matter of what, when, how, why, and coming to terms with such).

if and once you have some truth flowing through you — from YOUR CORE (and remember: this is NOT about making certain people, or certain GROUPS of people, right or wrong! if you are conscious, you are entitled to YOUR truth, and so is someone else! it is AMAZING to me that many people actually call themselves progressive and they are the most judgemental, ignorant flocks breathing!) — begin to note WHAT IS YOURS AND WHAT IS NOT. this is VERY hard to do. this is what I get paid to teach people. but, it can happen. if and when we are awake. there are subtleties that turn into major states of being. the trick is in identifying the subtleties. for example, when you wake up in the morning and have a disturbing foreign thought or feeling and you can not place it. well, how about how did it get there? if you are CONSCIOUS, you can take inventory and find out. and if you are conscious, you can figure out what devices were placed next to your head while you slept. or what messages you sent late at night before bed or what messages came in upon waking that you don’t even know you have, but that are SITTING IN YOUR LITTLE MAGICAL DEVICE. the messages, that are sitting in your little device, HAVE ALREADY BEEN DELIVERED TO YOU. your consciousness is synced to your devices. don’t believe me? try and do all of the above — spend time cleaning your antenna. get super, super clear. hear truth. THEN, compare that truth with foreign feelings. assuming you are not regressing into post-trauma (you should be in therapy for this! I don’t care if you can’t afford it — I used ALANON and similar support groups for years when I could not afford therapy! and now, I pay for therapy instead of owning a home!), you will be able to spot AI interference in your life. the drama, the lies, and the negativity that the little devices we wear and touch all day are designed to deliver straight through our consciousness and into our hearts. to continue, to divide and conquer us. it’s worked so far, hasn’t it?

are you able to have a conversation with someone totally different than you, who thinks looks and acts totally differently from you? no? then go do some work on yourself. it is not normal or healthy to surround yourself with ONLY people who think look and act like you. I look at my entire patient base — they could not be more “different”, in the outer world, each one of them; BUT, they are ALL THE SAME. they are all able to sit and converse, pleasantly disagree and agree to disagree on outer world matters, and still LOVE each other. we have just about NO adult examples of this on social media (where most people, and most young people, get their “news”). and it is dangerous. but it is AGENDA. the outrage that resides in people…where does that come from? sure, we catalog and “box” people because it makes us feel safe, when we do not know better…but AI (read my previous post to understand more) actually preys on and plays on our said human vulnerabilities. we do not have to allow this to be the case anymore.

if you are really evolved, and really invested in the things that you say you are invested in, then you should be able to, as let’s say for example a far right person to, go to a far left event and listen (NOT to change your mind, just to see if you can sit there and tolerate it and see the humanity in people). and if you are for example a far left person then you should be able to go to a far right event and listen AND DO EXACTLY THE SAME. what you MAY hear, is a lot of people, in each group, saying EXACTLY THE SAME THING. but using different words and experiences to say those things. that is, if you are able to HEAR them. there is simply no such thing as “one group” of people being more awake or evolved than another. but, AGENDA and deceit AS AN ENTITY lives more often than not in the designated “woke” and “fair” groups, that is for sure! it is how evil hides in plain sight! oh, the IRONY.

people say to me all of the time “do you live in Williamsburg?”. LOL! I get it, it’s because I wear the funny pilgrim hats and the vintage biker jackets and such. but why does that mean that I live in Brooklyn or would like, need to “dress the part” of the neighborhood that I live in? I mean, I’m not on an episode of Girls. but the point is, that people need to organize their thoughts (so that they can feel in control) about WHO SOMEONE IS based on how they look, what interests them, and what they believe. but that’s not who a person IS. I’ve NEVER “dressed the part” for anywhere that I’ve lived, and I’ve never picked a place because it’s “cool”. God that takes SO MUCH ENERGY. I feel exhausted just writing about it. what’s my point here? think less about the exterior and consider for a moment that you don’t know squat about someone’s inner world. unless you truly know squat about yours. which is unlikely. that takes work. and no it’s not an Ayahuasca retreat. it’s daily, conscious work to consider that we can not control the outer world by assuming things!

the New Moon is always a good time, when it comes, to consider new ways of living or being. I am not an astrology expert, but I can suggest a look at good old YouTube for some live references! I really enjoy information shared by Nadiya Shah, Kelley Rosano, and The Leo King. this weekend we are in for a new open portal of energy, which might really compliment our continued efforts to simply live, breathe, survive and THRIVE on this planet for the very short amount of time that we are here.

CHEERS to an excellent weekend.

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AI is dangerous. and: censorship, healthcare, politics & Trump.

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©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

AI aka artificial intelligence is dangerous and there are many moving parts to it. and if you think it does not affect you on MANY levels, then you do not understand it.

this week in my therapist’s office their phone repeated back a phrase I spoke — right in the middle of the session. being an older person, my therapist (although a genius), was thrown off. they didn’t understand specifically what happened. they are not an internet baby. I took their phone and disabled siri. not that that solves anything, as both my therapist AND I know that we are all being recorded, word by word, and video by video, ALL. DAY. LONG. they know, because they have worked with CIA. I know, because I have worked with well…some of the most powerful, knowledgeable, and influential people on our planet. and as a consequence, particularly beginning shortly after the last U.S. Presidential election, I became a focus — and a target. but before I get into that, I note the little “siri” episode just to give you some extremely basic framework for what I am explaining. and perhaps you already know about (and are totally desensitized to) phones speaking back to you when you have done nothing to prompt them because you did not enable a function and ask a vocal question. but are you really comfortable with and do you really understand the “flukes” and where all of that information is going? likely NOT.

for nearly 3 years now, I have waited to be able to explain some of the most hands-down difficult period of my life. I waited because of timing, and I waited because I hoped that maybe, just maybe, things couldn’t get any worse for me. well, they did. and I am at the point in which there is literally nothing left to lose except for my life. sounds dramatic? well it is. I’ll be surprised if this post makes it anywhere online, particularly considering the massive shadowban on me since 2017.

backing up a bit. I have consulted for many, many different types of people. I’ve seen some of the most intelligent people on our planet and consulted on AI. I’ve consulted on autism and for parents of autistic children. I’ve consulted for high-ranking military. the work that I do, although seemingly packaged in a “cute” or “attractive” little “new age healer” or “reiki healer” container, is so much more. I was quite content, in the beginning of my practice and this ENTIRE TIME, to be downplayed and written off as a little cuckoo. being judged for being xyz (so, whatever xyz could mean) used to be a safety zone for me. I was happy being seen as just another pretty face who was “helping people” in some way; perhaps a bohemian off-the-grid thinker and believer in potions and home remedies to “fix” people and their health. and I say this, because these are the comments and assumptions that I USED to get. early on, and before shite hit the fan in terms of me being focused on by “The Masters of The Universe” (as a very prominent, very achieved, and now very public scientist referred to “them”). and if you don’t believe in “them”, well, at some point, “they” will affect you while you are conscious of them. they are affecting you right now while you are NOT conscious of them. I’ll get to “them” in a bit.

throughout my life, and over the past 20 years in particular, I’ve met some of the most fascinating people. in all industries. when I was young (and I wrote a whole eBooklet about this), I recall being fascinated by the number of celebrities (aka, at THAT time, people who actually did things to earn accolades which, in turn, made them famous) I would meet, just naturally (pre social media too, thank goodness) being out and about, and wondering what it all “meant” (hint: I would reconnect with them years later in fortuitous ways, related to my work). in college, a kid in my same dorm was building the first / most successful online music sharing platform in the world. a year or so later, THE most successful online social network was being built across the river while I was in school and I had no idea. I became friends with one of the originals from that platform in the early 2000s and never knew until I saw them in Time Magazine in 2010 that they were behind it all. I’ve met Chairmen of major US banks. I’ve met some of Hollywood’s greatest (the kind who, I believe, are, unaffected-by-the-“game”-people — as they are the kind who truly bypassed corruption and made it on their own). some of these people were clients. some of them asked to be clients. I won’t digress into how I work, all you have to do is read my About and Public Figures sections. in short: I can’t be bought. because I know what comes with it. with all of that said, I preface this article with the above information because it lays important foundation.

when my practice Healing Elaine® took off, it was 2012 (when I say “take off”, I was no longer littering all of Manhattan with my postcards and company contact info — my phone was ringing on its own by that point). I saw mostly “regular” people. the setup was, I would meet with them, hear their problems, and give them solutions — just like I always had for people, for decades, preceding Healing Elaine®. then I would work on their energy field. at the time, fresh in and out of housing court, I just wanted to do what I loved (which is helping people) and pay my rent. so that is all that I focused on. I didn’t necessarily plan to solve major life issues or completely alter the trajectory of people’s lives. and, in the back of my mind, I was afraid to do so — because I oddly felt that “no good deed goes unpunished”. and, I WAS RIGHT.

as my work grew, my understanding of many things grew. I can’t explain to you how no matter who I was meeting with and what field they were in, I was able to substantially help them. initially, it was intimidating. I was seeing people, women and men, with crippling life concerns and problems, and many of them were extremely successful in the outer world; they were C-Suites, they were millionaires (self-made), and they had the power to affect many, many people. as word got out about me, and because, well, the internet, I became bombarded with inquires very quickly. by 2013 my phone was ringing off the hook. I could barely keep up with all of the calls. since I already worked with integrity, meaning no you could not just walk through my door (I needed to be sure I was helping someone and not hindering them by meeting with them, and I needed to be sure that I could help them or, it just wasn’t happening), I screened a number of calls. often times I knew just by the way that the phone rang, and I certainly knew by hearing someone’s voice — if it was the right person and the right time. the way that I worked and the way that I work now is laid out in extremely clear terms all throughout my website. at any rate, I felt this pressure in 2013, to run hard and fast — to solve as many problems as I could, for as many people as possible, and not “look up” until it was time. I’ll get to “it was time” in a bit — hence the bane of this article.

over the years my sessions grew from a few hours to many many hours in one sitting — followed by dozens of hours of follow up via phone and email. I was opening Pandora’s box for many people and they had endless questions. this meant that, in order to keep making a living, I was working and working and working — maybe 100 hours a week. this continued for years. until…

at the peak of my “success” with my business (many tangibly successful fertility cases, transmutation of illness cases, etc), I was always waiting for the shoe to drop. not because I am negative. but because I KNEW, in each and every session, that the amount of truth AND the amount of RESULTS and life changes were…almost too good to be allowed. I was, and am, inadvertently affecting large numbers of people simply through the one person I was / am meeting with and helping and giving information to. and, I knew enough and had seen enough corruption on this planet to know that, at some point, that would be a problem. I just didn’t know exactly HOW the problem would present. until it did.

the first thing that happened was a fluke, but it set the tone for a dark, scary, and worst-nightmare scenario. one harder than I dreamed of ever having to deal with. the fluke, was three idiots who I hired. well, I hired one idiot – to help me with PR. a privileged, spoiled brat who never worked a day in his life. this meant that he ran around with his “fake company” and celebrity name drops (these people love to immerse themselves in “important crowds” — which is exactly how I met him and was fooled myself. lesson one.) and had no concept of running a business because he had no financial responsibility. he was not only a kept man, but knew nothing about business (or people). hiring this idiot cost me a LOT. through him, he insisted that I revamp my website (keep in mind, I was at the PEAK of my career — this was 2016 — why fix what was not broken!?). he also insisted that I get new photos ASAP! so, I was directed to hiring (who I would later learn to be, through a background check) a CRIMINAL photographer, and the photographer’s CRIMINAL friend (a shady, addict web hacker who told one of my lawyers in writing “go fu4k yourself”, upon requesting MY credentials and property which he refused after stealing it). although I initially told this “publicist” point blank “I don’t trust the web person”, he insisted I was crazy. at the end of the day, he insisted that I work with them because the REAL story is that he was getting free stuff from each of them on the back end. the three amigos as I will refer to them (who continue, to this day, to work together!), took me for a ride. not only did they take me to the cleaners financially, and I was stupid to not background check any of them in advance, but they also stole my websites without my knowledge. that story is a whole other article, but I have to preface other details with these details. I also preface the rest of this article with these details, because it is separate from the other problems I will describe and the danger of AI. in short, you can read my brief summary here on my instagram page. it spells out the order of events.

after the first dark web domino went down, I noticed something else. it was now the summer/fall of 2017, and I noticed that my entire online presence changed. this was bigger than having my sites stolen and restricted by the three amigos, though they certainly set the tone and made figuring it all out (it took me, and my legal team and entire YEAR to figure out “what” was happening to my websites) extremely challenging. my entire online presence — my social media (I was being shadowbanned – the following FROZE, and each time a new person followed me they “knocked off” another — sometimes close friends of mine since I actually KNOW many of the people who follow me, so the proof is in the pudding), the number of calls that were getting through to my (Google) business line, and my visibility, nearly went dark. HMPH. I was stumped. like, one day, EVERYTHING STOPPED. out of nowhere. I talked about it in therapy, and my therapist at the time (knowing what I do for work and often how “high level” it goes) said that they had seen similar things, unfortunately, with people being silenced. like, when the truth is too big, “the powers that be” shut them down. yeah. I was getting that feel already. I just always prayed it wouldn’t happen like that. which leads me to the same question you may be asking at this point “um, ok, how and what is your point? how would this happen and what does it have to do with AI?”. I’ll tell you.

nearly every session I took with someone, I was acutely aware of the fact that we have electronics and what those electronics DO. I didn’t know what siri was until maybe 2016, or that it was even on my phone, but I knew certainly that we were all recorded, all of the time. and if you think that YOU are not recorded, all of the time, even when your phone is on airplane mode, you are fooling yourself. I would look around the room at the electronics like my canary or my sonos and my phone and computer, and almost always remember to dismantle them and turn them off (not that that really mattered). when I was in hotel rooms I would unplug everything and cover the TV (the huge camera that watches all of your moves whether you want to believe it or not). I knew however, that it didn’t really matter. that everything I was sharing, was something being monitored and recorded. I just didn’t know exactly how and I didn’t know for sure how it would affect me. thankfully, as far as I know, my work has only ever really helped other people/my patients. the people I saw were not the targets: I was. and the way I understand AI, particularly as I began to consult for AI specialists, is that it is an ENTIRE SEPARATE BEING. it might was well be an entire person or billions of actual people. and, there is INCREDIBLE control around AI…AI can not have people thinking independently. what I was doing, what my work does, is exactly that…and to boot, I was working and still work with people who can change minds. these people are not part of dark agendas, the agenda which, whether you believe it or not, is AI.

now I’m not saying that everyone who works in AI is bad. I am saying that most people are either consciously or unconsciously ignorant to the beast that is being built. and it is a beast indeed, BECAUSE IT IS CONTROLLED. what I began to notice with my business, as Google and ALL of big tech began to shadowban and censor me (it exists TO THIS DAY), was that I was a target because of the level of truth I shared. and believe me, I can and will give many examples. here is a random one for you: so, I work and have worked with many medical professionals. top level. earlier this year, in the midst of my shadowbanned and censored online life (and yes this included twitter), I get a demand from square processing. it tells me “we need information about your client with credit card ending in #### in order to allow you to proceed. what is your relationship to this person, and we need to see an invoice for services rendered.” oh really, Square? so, you just happened to choose one of the most important (to large numbers of people) and wealthy and influential individuals I met with last month, to ask me about? I took the info to my therapist, AND to my legal team (I have two whole teams now — investigating ALLLL of the above with me and walking beside me since this insanity began) and of course everyone found it odd if not disturbing. THEN, I realize that Square is owned / founded by none other than JACK from Twitter. you don’t say! and this is one example, out of DOZENS, that came to haunt me on a monthly basis for the past few years straight with regard to big tech. and if you don’t understand it just yet, big tech IS AI. they create, control, and execute it. it’s not “cool” or “cutting edge” (it could be, if the forces behind it were pure), it is AGENDA plain and simple. and ANYTHING AND ANYONE who threatens their narrative is a problem for “them”/AI/”The Masters of The Universe”.

I used gmail my entire career, until this year. it took me that long to figure out what CRIMINALS Google is, because I just was not willing or able to believe what was really happening. not only does GOOGLE sell ALL OF YOUR DATA to off-shore entities, but they monitor every single word you write and every single thing you look at — and stop and ask yourself, “why?”. well, this, is one of the main infrastructures of AI. so, entities and encyclopedias of thought and information are being created with every single word and idea you ever have, because there are like zero privacy laws (and the laws that are in place, are totally bypassed — do you know how many executives from Facebook, Google and Twitter have committed PERJURY while lying in front of Congress?). this means that all of our communications, all of our ideas, are stored and either used, or TUCKED AWAY and censored OR regurgitated FALSELY by other entities because they are true and dangerous (because “these people” want ultimate control over our world and everyone in it). what is NOT true is not dangerous — and so it is PUSHED and pushed and pushed, through media, and through our little devices. not seeing the truth because it is inaccessible, though, is only half the battle. the other battle is the fact that AI is SYNCING with our consciousness. let me paint the picture for you.

whether you believe in the afterlife or not, you can likely agree that “consciousness” IS, indeed, an energy. it is what makes each of us unique. most of us do not understand how consciousness works. I UNDERSTAND how it works, as it is what I bloody do for work. and, for the record, there is a reason that my sessions start at 5-figures — 1) it takes tremendous time to explain to people what all of this intangible “stuff” is, and I am able to explain things that they have not found one other person on this planet to be able to explain 2) alongside the tremendous time I spend is my expertise and experience that I can not find elsewhere, in terms of my exact trade 3) it takes my ENTIRE life force that I bring to the table for each and every person and that is PRICELESS. I don’t say this to try to impress or be fancy, I say it because I don’t think that most people can imagine what goes on in a session of mine and frankly NOBODY understands it until after they have been through one with me. I digress, but it important to me to explain — because I am not over here selling widgets and “feel-good” crystals and spiritual band-aids: my work is real, deep, and obviously threatening to those who do not want people to think for themselves. in my sessions, I explain consciousness in the way that I understand it. I explain it to people who are far more advanced than me in science, psychology and medicine. and apparently big tech and “The Masters of The Universe” HATED that. and so, with the intention (consciously or unconsciously) to block truth, we have AI. we have a system of energy — signals and communications that interfere with our BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT, all day long — that has started to control us.

AI is an actual life force — contrived, yes, so not a traditional life force — with a controlled intention. and it is the sum total of what “the powers that be” want it to be. and you may still wonder, at this point in my long-winded article, what I am getting at. well, put on your critical thinking cap. assume for a moment that everything I am saying is true. and assume for a moment that yes (and I will get into more details later), a little guy like me with a small-in-numbers online following has been censored. can you stop and ask why? the why resides in a few categories: 1) we are in 1984 already. if we are to think independently, we break old systems of control. these systems of control are in place by a few very, very wealthy families on this planet. NO, this is not conspiracy. and no, I didn’t pay it any mind until my life was pretty much shut down and impacted. you believe it once it happens to you. also, just go do a little research – that is all it takes! 2) big pharma. big pharma wants and needs you to be sick so that it can keep making money! big pharma is the biggest drug dealer on our planet. street dealers do not COMPARE to big pharma. it’s all a crazy system. next, have you heard, or looked into, any of the big tech whistleblowers at all? I mean, they are real people — but you won’t hear about this on your mainstream news channels (which by the way, are CONTROLLED — ALL OF THEM). let’s start with Dr. Robert Epstein. and go watch, now, The Creepy Line documentary — it’s free on Amazon Prime. if “The Masters of The Universe” can not make money off of our minds or our very life force (our health), then what control do they have? the answer is none. and so AI has become more important than ever! and it is more expansive than you think.

in 2017, big tech did two things: they began to work harder to control people’s minds and health (because that’s how you keep a population under control!) by censoring people. JUST GOOGLE OR BING OR DUCKDUCKGO THE BIG TECH WHISTLEBLOWERS — ALL OF THEM! there are endless documents, if only you look away from mainstream media, that have it all right there in print for you to see. people, including Tulsi Gabbard, are suing them (and many people, successfully suing them) for the same sorts of things that they have done to me. the two things that they focused on censoring and continue to focus on censoring are 1) healthcare and alternative health (ahem) and 2) politics. now while the first category may be unfortunately “obvious”, I know a lot of people don’t understand or even believe the censorship of the second category. I’ll tell you why. and I knew it from day one. in a nutshell: our current administration threatens all that has ever been as far as the “world order” is concerned. because they were never a political entity to begin with, and so they don’t need to play along. they were already wealthy and powerful. they were not born from within the “system” I am referring to. and that is DEADLY threatening to that appalling system! they may be a lot of things. you may hate them. but personality and particulars aside, there is a REASON that they are hated, censored and REPEATEDLY set up in the media…it’s more than them just “being who they are”. and I’ll tell you another thing. when you are a famous person who doesn’t follow the World Order in terms of promoting healthcare or politics in a certain way (you are basically HANDED a script by your handlers by the way, or it’s called “media training”, LOL! — and you do not question that script and you simply repeat it for all of your millions of followers without even realizing that you are partaking in major mind control because you are probably a decent person, clueless to how it all REALLY works and you yourself are being controlled), you are punished. severely. consider the people who either do not have social media or who have gone off the grid — they have been threatened, their families have been threatened, and they have suffered physically and otherwise. in a nutshell, those people are attemptedly wiped off the face of the earth because they know and have spoken and speak the truth. so, not only is it stated IN FACT by Dr. Epstein (he was one of the first) that Google and big tech changed everything as of 2016 (the election terrified them — it was the first thing that they could not control), but I am telling you that it happened to me. ME. I’m not even famous.

over the years I was offered and approached by a lot of press. most of the time it just never felt right, so I didn’t do it. I was told many, many times, by many many people (ok, many of them were esoteric, like astrologers or mystics much older than me) that I would have to “say no” to “huge” opportunities that would bring me immediate fame and money. and that is exactly what I did. to me, that stuff means: NOTHING. if you read my entire blog and know anything about my life, all that I have ever wanted to be is safe and happy. I turn down anything that doesn’t feel right. money and fame is a joke unless it is being used to HELP people, and I’ve always known that. I’ve been around it. I get how it all works. I ALSO get how you have to play the game, or you are taken out, once you are there. a lot of people are playing the game, as pawns in the system, and don’t even know it. so, over the years I said no to press because there was something inside of me that just didn’t trust it. I didn’t want what I do to be spun. I didn’t want the world’s first impression of me to be a joke. and that is what a lot of big press would have done. so I waited. I said no to “major” celebrity collaborations. because I KNEW what it was really about: agenda. over the last few years, I have asked myself if I made the right decision about declining press, because of what happened to me (which I am not even done sharing). to this day, I believe that in the moment I followed my highest of integrity and therefore it can not be a mistake. and that I will have my time. as it turns out, there is substantial press on the table for me now, with a couple of different entities (we will see which one of them has the courage to report).

after my lucrative, extremely busy business came to nearly a screeching halt in 2017 thanks to Google’s “new algorithms”, other things happened. TO THIS DAY, I am not allowed to use Google ads. that’s over two whole years of being craftily discriminated against by this “fair, all-for-one” platform. writing this makes my skin boil, because I do not want to go into every single detail. but all of the classic shadowbanny things happened to me: “your ad violates our guidelines” — time and time and time again. and I would call and get Bob over in India who had no flocking CLUE as to the company he was working for, who would try to convince me that it was a technical error or my ad was somehow an error. sure. errors for 3 years. OR, my ad would go up and then it would scramble in broken English with terms I NEVER entered. OR, a TOTALLY RANDOM phone number would be attached as an ad extension to my ad – notably, a “C. Brown” … oddly enough, a C. Brown was also accepting payments via my paypal at this time, to BLUEHOST (another corrupt company), for services I did not purchase! thankfully, paypal investigated this and refunded me. after a whole year of being scammed. I did backflips and accommodated every change that was suggested to me to make. and all of this going down AFTER the three amigos took me to the cleaners and cost me every single penny I had just to retrieve MY property (endless legal fees toward pursuing them, the hosting company that illegally hosted my company named “inmotionhosting” [CRIMINALS!], and the snakeoil salesmen in the middle who pretended my site was live when it wasn’t), we are talking MAJOR financial ruin. everything that had been running for a number of years on HIGH, just…crashed. all of the overhead that I was running…crash. tens of thousands in bills I could not pay. all because of shadowbanning, censorship, and the intention to create a certain AI.

again: you have to remember that AI is a controlled substance. if you have people TRULY thinking and doing for themselves (such as what I offer), then you have a problem, as far as AI and its handlers are concerned. and also, I am not the only one! there is a LONG LIST of people in alternative health (and, of course, politics), who have suffered similarly to me. and not only is AI a controlled substance, but it is infiltrating the way that you think EVERY SINGLE DAY with its censored, chosen-for-you “truth”. how do you feel about that? do you believe what I am saying yet? do you have any idea how impacted you are, on a daily basis, by AI? if the phone in my therapist’s office can take on a full sentence from me and repeat it back unprompted, where do you think that data is going?

everything that we write online but particularly via Google/gmail is cataloged. the “good” info is kept, and the “bad” (aka true) info is…discarded — along with the entity it came from. if you don’t already know, AI sorts and directs algorithms based on every single human being on this planet and spits back censored information through all of our devices — especially our media. a lot of people are walking around controlled by an artificial life force, and they do not even know it. they do not know why they are depressed. they do not know why they are sick. they do not know why certain thoughts enter their minds. they do not know…WHO THEY ARE. and they are younger and younger and young folks are the most spongey. and INTELLECT CAN NOT COMBAT AI. think on that, for a moment. only consciousness can combat AI…

what I teach someone is how to access their consciousness. this has made me a threat (as I keep stating). but the important thing to remember is that consciousness CAN combat AI. it’s just extremely tricky. and if you don’t pay attention, you will lose the battle. the best way to win the battle is to get away from all of the data collecting companies, like Google. the best way to win the battle is to TRULY LIMIT your social media time, or delete it altogether. although it may sound crazy, you are being programmed EVERY SINGLE TIME you look at your phone. you just can not imagine how or why. this is called spiritual warfare.

all of the sessions I have done and all of the calls and emails that came with them, were taken into algorithms beyond my conscious knowledge or consent. I have had to do backflip after backflip to figure out HOW to exist, alongside entities that do not want me on this planet. I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars figuring this out. I lost it all. my phone lines were intercepted and cut off — as in, NO ONE could contact me for periods of time. my online everything was tampered with. to this day, and after switching 5 web developers, 3 hosting companies, and hiring the best in cyber security law, my website STILL will often not work when attemptedly launched from Chrome and Google aka “The Masters of The Universe” products. why is that? all of this that I write, as far as what has happened to me, is documented. it’s all in one, big, data pile that I am keeping on file, hopefully for the right moment when the truth is safe again. because the truth is still not safe right now.

besides having my phone lines (I’ve now had 4) intercepted and tampered with, there are dozens of other peculiar things that have happened to me over the years, and I can only gather at this point that they all point to AI and what the global puppet masters want “out there” in terms of information. as I mentioned, various global news media outlets approached me this year and some I gave interviews to, and I have no idea if they will have the courage to write about me and my WORK (no, I do not and have never really talked about anything such as I am in this article! I never wanted this to be my focus or HAVE to be my focus! but, at the end of the day, my focus is truth, so I suppose it makes sense…). I have been followed, photographed near my apartment (that happened mostly after my Forbes article came out, and God bless the ethical writer who didn’t know me or my work from Adam and was interested enough to write about me), approached by strange people with strange questions, been audited by the IRS (really!?), been denied bank loans for NO REASON! (I was called a “patronage” — and if you don’t understand THIS, just do some research on what a social credit system is…apparently I don’t have much because I don’t play by the rules — rather I tell people the truth that can help and empower them), had big tech invade my practice with personal questions about my patients and with regard to payment processing, and to this day none of it has stopped.

when the pendulum swings SO FAR in one direction, it can not help but swing in the other direction. the pendulum, for me, is at its peak in one direction. this has been far too much for one person to handle, and I am finally emotionally and psychologically in a strong enough place even to talk about it here. and the fact is, there is really nothing left for me to lose. I lost it all. I have three businesses that I run on my own, and every single month is spent paying legal entities (who are continuing to help me with the MANY moving parts of all of the above), an incredible therapist (God bless them), and my most basic administrative costs that are required to run ACTUAL BUSINESSES. and I do all of this by myself. with no outside support. I don’t say this to sound spectacular or to elicit sympathy, I say this however to paint an overall picture of the perils of goliath that is AI and big tech and the lengths that they will go to in order to silence people — any way that they can. fear, intimidation, control, and confusion are the biggest tactics involved in a higher order agenda when they do not like what you stand for. and I get it, it’s not personal, either. but it has truly opened my eyes. what they can not and will never be able to take from me, is the plethora of deep relationships I have with people (many of whom are totally off the grid) who do have a ton of power (to do the right thing) on our planet. I believe that everything has its time, and the age of truth is upon us. but not without consciousness. and if you do not understand how energy works, how it forms through technology, and what is DRIVING technology, then you will suffer. and, you will be in for a rude awakening. PARTICULARLY as the truth DOES begin to surface. there will be a lot of fractured psyches.

where I am at, personally at the moment, is a space in which yes I am still working but still as careful and eager as ever to attract only the right person or entity. I continue to turn down “big sessions” or dealing with individuals who can simply afford it and don’t want to or can’t put in the effort required to truly make a 180 degree turn (that requires living in the ultimate truth), because it would be a MAJOR drag on my field to take a session simply for money. in fact, it would work against me 100%. if I haven’t sold out by now, I never will. so, I continue (even with the INSANE adversity I have faced due to online everything and the overall agenda on this planet) to wait for the right people to come through. and somehow, they do. although referrals rarely work for what I do, enough people know about what I do at this point (despite my online social media reflecting a fraction of my actual following) that word gets out. and those who are light, those who live in TRUTH, and those who can not be bought or controlled, make their way toward me. it’s a small group. and I don’t sell my time or expertise cheaply. I am in this for the pendulum-swing moment, when dark turns to light. perhaps that is idealistic. but I do not believe that my work would have even made it off the ground a decade ago had it not all been possible, fated, and destiny.

in terms of contacting me, well, it’s great if you can get to my site and read through it. I also have a separate line that is not Google, and it is 917-985-1221 (leave a voicemail with the specific nature of your call as I do not answer unknown numbers and I have a very specific protocol listed on my website that must be followed in advance to ANY inquiry. I do not receive, open or return text messages). I am also getting a new P.O. Box (it was suggested to me by a true professional that people have the most basic direct routes to me that can not be intercepted by the evil perils noted in this article) address TBA soon on bing search. I don’t use my former Google voice lines anymore nor do I continue to correspond via gmail. the best way to reach me is call. but please do your research first. and finally, if you are in my position or have dealt with any of the CRAZINESS I note here (and frankly, I’ve skipped over SO many details, because it’s just too endless), know that you have a whole army waiting with you in the wings. at some point, the pendulum DOES swing. and the giant at the gate falls down.

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how to spot a user (and, your RIGHTFUL anger toward them!)

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well, this year was one for the books for me as far as my own therapy with myself goes. I found an amazing person, one better than all of my heart’s desires could have conjured up in my own imagination, and they could not have come at a better time. my take on therapy (the REAL kind — traditional, psychoanalytical, classic, CBT style) is that everyone needs it. if you have never gone, because you think that it is reserved only for traumatized or otherwise crazy people, then you may be surprised to find out how many “together” people actually go. AND, it is the otherwise certifiably crazy people who NEVER go. and that is why, doing what I do, I have things like prerequisites. I am not interested in treating crazy people. my days of dealing with crazy people on a willful basis are long gone since learning that I simply didn’t have to. when I say crazy, I mean one thing: people who do not want to change — have no intention of changing — bottom-feed off of others to no end. these crazy people, appear normal. they even appear kind. parts of them can actually be or present as kind. they are not.

in one of my prerequisite books (for ANY service of mine, by the way), People of The Lie, Peck refers to all different types of people who lie — and part of his definition (which I would absolutely echo) in terms of “evil”, is people who lie to themselves.

people who lie to themselves are not only crazy, but they are consistent users. similar to narcissists, users can not and will not confront themselves. different from narcissists, users seem and appear to be very kind. feeble, even. however, congruent with narcissists, these people ALWAYS need help. with SOME kind of THING.

when speaking with my therapist earlier this year, they said something to me about how each of us (as in, my therapist and me) is terrible at spotting pathological liars because we SO DEEPLY feel and believe in other people’s truths. I know for a fact this is one of my blessing and curse hallmarks. and the only cure for it is to be leveled enough times, by a variety of different crazy people, to the point in which very little is left in the world that could surprise one. I think, hope, and pray that I am at this point in my life. spotting the disarray or imbalances in the lives of others is a cakewalk for me. it is always harder when it is my life, because the point of my existence would cease if I had no personal contrast hence growth to do. I am not alone in this, either. many of the people I see who are top in their field come to me with the SAME pains — “how could I not see this coming?” — in terms of being blindsided by people who lie to themselves. to stick with the point of this article, I am referring to users in particular.

for a very long time, I had assigned any feelings of anger or negative emotion that arose in me as “very bad”. so I simply blocked them and didn’t have them. of course, I would tolerate the anger of others and allow everyone else to have feelings and opinions. and then I began to learn that I chose very, VERY passive aggressive (aka users) people to spend my time with…and if you know anything about this, you know that a passive aggressive (i.e. controlling, VERY angry person who will almost never show it directly to anyone — they have all kinds of weird habits, instead, to take out their rage) person can drive the most sane, “together” person right up the wall. passive aggressive people, a very common almost totally consistent quality amongst users, are masters at their trade. their trade is designed to completely disown any part of themselves that they can not face. so, they feed their addiction (anything we hide from in shadow IS an addiction — as it becomes a thought pattern and relationship pattern) in other ways. they use people.

it was in my dealing with passive aggressive people that I learned how my own anger was TELLING ME SOMETHING. since I was programmed to completely deny ANY anger in order to survive amongst crazies early in life, I had become SO GOOD at stifling it that it took some really shady characters to bring it to surface. I also learned, as it came up, and as I subsequently blamed myself for years simply for having it (not knowing that it was a HUGE red flag associated with the person I was involved with at the time!), that it ONLY came up and out in certain dynamics. I never cut, I never slept around, and I never used drugs: this meant, I HAD TO FEEL. anything other than feeling is the easy way out. period. this meant that I HAD to speak up for myself — journal it out — say it, and run the risk of being judged for being upset.

when I began to identify my patterns with passive aggressive people, I began to trust my feelings of anger more. but what I also learned, beyond the more “obvious” indicators that perhaps I was engaging with the WRONG type of person, is that there are LAYERS to how a “user” will ignite that fire. when I say layers, let me start with explaining “the nice person”.

this person is kind. they almost appear a little bit weak. there is a childlike quality to them. it doesn’t matter how old they are. and there are HALLMARKS associated with this person, that are not the first thing most people look for when identifying a user, because the hallmarks seem so secondary as compared to obvious cases of a “user” individual. peeling back the layers to identify such a person — one of a sneaky, crafty, manipulative order indeed — took me many years. I was friends with this kind of person, I worked with this kind of person, and this kind of person was always dead set on making “nice” with me — to draw blood.

HALLMARKS: 1) you immediately want to help this person. you don’t know why. 2) they have been “mistreated” — meaning, they have a sob story. you will usually hear about it right away, or within the first few times of meeting them. aka, they NEED something from you (or, anyone willing to give it to them). 3) they are nice. they can be really likeable. they are empathetic. they relate well to others — this is the part that seemingly separates or does separate them from a narcissist. it’s almost impossible to overlook their “good nature”…except for when you actually see beyond it (that part I will get to explaining in a bit). 4) they are noncommittal: they refuse to fully pursue their vocation (why bother, when they can exploit yours instead?). 5) they have several “back-ups” aka people who will take care of them if they fall down, but they are always acting as if they are all alone without any support. 6) they are really smart. they know a lot. maybe they have a ton of degrees. they manipulate this good fortune by using it as a mask — even a mask they wear for themselves. this serves to confuse all parties. 7) they have no game plan. and I mean NONE. or, if they do, it changes days or weeks later…in place just long enough to extract whatever “support” they need from you or anyone else. 8) they have major authority issues: anything that resembles an authority figure (leftover childhood trauma that they will not look at) cultivates major transference for them to the point where they turn around and create yet another new story, scenario, reason as to why their life is xyz and they need “help”. above all else, and woven into each of the 8 hallmarks I list above, is one key fact: THEY LACK COURAGE. lacking courage is not a personal disability: it is a sin, a choice, and a major defect of character designed solely to take advantage of other people. it is in THIS way, that people lie to themselves (hence you, believing them every step of the way until you notice your own anger rising up, out of “nowhere”) and commit the evil act of such. again, have a cover to cover read through my prerequisites to understand more of this (or, just read through my blog).

lacking courage is the over-arching theme or hallmark of a user. but, unless you know what details (as in the 8 hallmarks I noted) to look for, you may miss it. I have missed it so many times. until I decided I was so flocking sick of missing it, that I didn’t want to miss it ever again and I was willing to do whatever it takes (like be an island until I figure it all out!) to understand it. there is an extremely lazy quality to users, but they will mask it with all kinds of things: mostly, knowledge. this can be confusing, because it may seem like this person is just having a bad trip in life. but it continues. it never ends. their story changes in minor ways, but it’s always the same. and at the center of it: they refuse to choose a vocation. meaning, let’s say their vocation is to work in a shoe store. and yes, that is a fine vocation. but they won’t choose it. because they refuse to be in alignment with themselves. BECAUSE BEING IN ALIGNMENT REQUIRES A PERSON TO SEE THEIR TRUTH, THEIR MIRROR AS WELL AS CONFRONT THE TRAUMA THAT THEY LIKELY HAVE. so, they avoid shoe stores and work at snack bars instead. making up nonstop excuses about why they will not go to the shoe store, they undoubtedly use one or all 8 hallmarks as masks. the fact is, going to the shoe store would mean that they are aligning with their truth. that is impossible, willfully, for a user. why live in truth, when it is much easier to extract juice from YOU?

now here is where it gets interesting. you are fooled. you may have known this person for a number of years, even. empathizing with them all along the way. but, undoubtedly, feeling a CERTAIN way as time goes by — yet blaming YOURSELF. for being judgmental. not giving enough. not selfless enough HA!!!!!!! remember that you are fooled because users, like narcissists, lie to themselves on such a base level that they actually believe it. don’t make me reference some of this year’s news as examples, please. but it’s all out there to see, to observe, when someone actually commits to their lies. in the case of a user, you will give them CONCRETE ways out of their “situation”; yet, they will find a way to manipulate the conversation so that you almost forgot or even DID forget what you were talking about! they talk in circles…nothing is ever a straight line. they can’t commit to plans — again, because that would denote alignment, and having to look at themselves (and their trauma). so you may find yourself beating yourself up, and going in circles with this crazy person who you thought was so nice. until something breaks.

what broke for me in these situations was an unstoppable anger that seemed to come out of “nowhere”, and the self awareness to acknowledge that ANGER MEANS SOMETHING (I’ll give you a hint: YOU ARE BEING LIED TO). particularly when you find yourself trying to figure out the anger (users and narcissists simply DO NOT DO THAT – rather, they stay in sick relationships and life circumstances because it is EASIER THAN FEELING ANYTHING), you will realize that you are onto something that maybe isn’t about you. or, it is, in the sense that you leave tons of food for users to eat. this has been my lesson. it’s still my lesson. I either gravitated toward users or they gravitated toward me, but it was and is up to me to notice the clues. and the clues usually come after you have had a “never ever again” moment. I’ve had a few. and in the final moments, you don’t lose your cool — rather, you are satisfied because such a puzzle or life pattern “finally makes sense”. it may be embarrassing for some of us (including myself) to admit that we woke up one day and realized that we were surrounded by users, but it’s ok. when you have a lot to give, from your core, and you live in authenticity, you will find yourself in the midst of a feeding frenzy. it is also important to note that people who have a lot to give, who are self reflective, AND empathetic, simply get taken through the meat grinder a few times before they line up with their fate/destiny or vocation as it relates to the collective — this is called AN INITIATION. I’ve had many.

it is embarrassing for me (ok well maybe not really, since I write freely about it) to say that I have woken up many times and realized “oh my God. everyone around me is mental. or a user. what have I done to create this?”. and I have had to re-examine my many ways of allowing that pattern to cultivate. by giving too much — out of habit, out of poor training about my self worth (self worth is different from SELF CONFIDENCE, BY THE WAY!), and simply out of JOY of seeing others happy. it genuinely makes me happy to share and know that I can make another person happy. not everyone is wired this way! and if you are wired this way, you find it impossible to believe that everyone else is NOT wired this way. we see the world through our own lens only. and it is those who have the most to give, the most to cherish, who often find out last that no, not everyone else is running around giving (reminder: there are those who APPEAR to give — and it is such a farce — and you will spot it if this article makes any sense to you).

in the last year or so my tank has been extremely low. I kept running into the same issues, over and over. and I had to work really, really hard to identify my blind spots. some of them were really simple: I had people around me who took until I had nothing left, but they didn’t care — because they were users. I was afraid to line up with someone as “big” as me, because I felt undeserving. I was afraid of my power (yes that can be a real thing). I was in programmed mode – meaning, I NEVER knew what it felt like to receive. sad yes, but also very true.

so when I began to identify a seemingly elusive, “out of nowhere” ANGER toward a particular person (this could be anyone — someone I just met, or a person I knew for some time), I had to get real. instead of turning it on myself as I had always done (the opposite of what a narcissist or crazy person will do), I decided to start listening to it. talking about it in therapy, to see if I was deluding myself about the people I had around me. and I found out, many times unfortunately, that I had created the same pattern that was always there from my first breath. surrounded by users, ready to eat me up and drink me up at any chance. but, HOW TO SPOT THIS?

so I listed the 8 hallmarks. there is more to it. these people will NEVER PUT THEMSELVES OUT THERE with regard to their “dreams”, “skills”, or “goals”. they have a real victim quality to them, that is hard to suss out concretely (because they are smart). and, as I said, they seem or maybe are (but I don’t honestly know how this could be true), really “nice”. they will listen to your problems. but not without tallying a balance of what you owe them. they will keep stock of anything they did for you in the event that you stop feeding them supply that is not reciprocal. often, this comes in the form of money. users have SUCH lack mentality, that they either refuse to work (except they have all kinds of stories around this), or they have money and won’t touch it (I know multi-millionaires and beyond, like this — they are not broke, but they are poor as hell). because money is an energy, they have a really bad relationship with it. for example. they will ALWAYS let you take the check. even as they say “are you sure?”, you will note how their unconscious language is doing a victory dance with no intention of sharing in the energy exchange with you. I literally had a friend, older than me, “smarter” than me as they would describe it, in a “better position” than me financially at the time, accept every single time I offered to pay. why? oh, all kinds of stories. ALL KINDS. but their favorite thing to note about me, was “you just have the will to do things that others don’t” — effectively, this was their bargaining excuse for why I should have to pay for everything and they shouldn’t have to share in it. it was a manipulative compliment, at best. and it confused me. like crazy people and liars, users will confuse the living FLOCK out of you! and it wasn’t just this one friend. it happened with TONS of people. even groups of people. and when I look back, I think, what WAS I thinking? well, in this regard, I wasn’t.

users will place you “above” them in terms of “having it easy” or “being stronger” than them or “most people” in life. this is so that they can keep committing the sins they commit by having the world take care of them. and they will always find a way to do it. keep in mind that it usually comes in the form of flattery, and insinuation that you are just “luckier” than they are. you will also notice that users have like TONS of people backing them — just, none of them know each other! I like to introduce people to one another. I am not afraid of them banding together and talking about me, because if they are crazy then I have cleared a path; and if they are amazing, then I have strengthened an army of light. it usually goes in one direction or another anyhow, as like attracts like. rarely do users attract other users, because then they would stand to gain nothing. users also do not introduce you, to anyone — because they are using all of you at the same time.

users constantly complain about their life circumstances, but do absolutely NOTHING to fix them. for example, they may have addict family members who are unwilling to get well, so they are always busy with that. or, they may have “abusive partners” they are never willing to leave. or, they may have terrible luck “finding a job”, because at the end of the day, they refuse their actual God-given talent and vocation and resort to jobs they hate and either get fired from or “can’t find”. or, they are the relentless artist, who “just needs a break” 20 years later. right. I’ve met ALL OF THESE PEOPLE. and at their core, they have one thing in common: extract your energy, time, and money!

people who try to violate my protocol, for example (and I am referring to the ones who have seen it and bypass it anyhow) are tell-tale examples of users. users hate boundaries of any sort, because boundaries require WORK. remember that users are EXTREMELY lazy (but they would convince you otherwise!). in a strong sense, users are addicts. an addict is someone who will NOT derive from their own supply — they simply REFUSE — so they use that of others. that is why being with a user is so exhausting. their very own self-made misery is part of their substance. their left-over unresolved conflict with their abusive families or otherwise is their substance, because they can’t “move on”. their friend who didn’t give them a hand-out is their substance. their chronic mystery illness is their substance. their recent breakup of many years ago is their substance. anything that is not within their own toolbox is their substance. and they NEVER. LOOK. WITHIN.

a user will default almost immediately to childlike communications such as they learned early on with their dysfunctional family (which is what they come from) when confronted by you in ANY way. you will become the villain IMMEDIATELY (or else they look at themselves and what they “do” to extract energy from other people) if you confront a user. they will drive you all over the road until your head is spinning in correspondence or conversation — just like your head would spin when talking to an addict. they say one thing, but the communication is really another thing. any threat of authority makes them take off and run like a bat out of hell — because they do not trust any authority figure (often why they are not employable). dealing with a user, in my experience, is worse than dealing with an addict, because dealing with an active addict presents a more obvious and shorter communications life span. a user, however, with no “tangible” issues, can drag you around for a really long time. a user is your friend of 20 years who has just had “too many hard breaks” and so people cave in and help them rather than confront the storyline.

they use other people’s time, money and energy, without a thought or care in the world. they never, ever say “I’ll get this check”. they never give you anything unless it is bait to help them with something. they never apologize or self-reflect (EVER). and finally, they can not engage in ANY sort of debate or confrontation: you might as well speak Swahili to them.

I decided to write this as I reflected upon the last few years of my life, and tons of lessons. I reached a point, many times over these years, when I felt I had nothing left inside of me to give and I could not figure out why. it was really hard, it has been really hard, to look around and acknowledge that I was more comfortable giving that I was receiving, and see how I manifested many of these patterns. but, they are real. and the willingness to acknowledge them ALSO requires that we be willing to “go life alone” AGAIN, for a time. well, so what. I speak for myself and probably many other people when I say that I have a few good, true, long-time true blue friends who I do not have to “be” anything for, in order for them to love me. I can’t tell you how good that feels, particularly to someone who has spent time ending the above old pattern with users. we also have to be willing to acknowledge that others (users, for example) will not like us. I know some people don’t like me. and I also know that it says everything about them — not me. fortunately, I am willing to be disliked. I am fine being disliked. my very first therapist (she was a really nice lady) I saw at age 26 said to me on our first day “you know what the best day of my life was? when I woke up and didn’t care what anyone thought”. I remember thinking, at that time, “I can’t imagine…”. now, I can imagine. I don’t care either.

much of society is sick. that’s just a fact. I would say everyone needs therapy. but only a certain portion of the population is really willing to go. why? because it takes COURAGE. in order to exercise courage, we need to not lie to ourselves. in order to not lie to ourselves, we have to rely on ourselves. some people are simply willing to rely on others. not me. so, if you find yourself with a user, pay extra attention to this article here. perhaps you, yourself, can benefit from therapy to understand how and why you end up in the positions that I shared above. after all, unless you are a narcissist (they can always spot users and other narcissists quite easily!!! – because they are looking in mirrors), or a user, you might have picked up some patterns from society, a “system” of some sort, or your family that are not serving you. life is so different, and so freeing when we are not bogged down with extra body weight that does not belong to us. and when that happens, cheers to better nights sleeps and more productive days — aka a totally different life than it was perhaps even just months prior.

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