why you quite literally can’t miss your destiny
this article here, is probably the best foundation upon which to connect this here article (“why you quite literally can’t miss your destiny”).
my articles and topics tend to build upon one another over time, as I learn more and, well, experience this thing called life. I would suggest going back through the category list on my website to gather some of the basics from prior articles if you have any questions or difficulty connecting to a particular theme in more recent articles like this one. and even if you don’t have difficulty, the categories and articles still connect in such a way that certain puzzle pieces you likely didn’t even know you were looking for will just sort of come together.
“why you quite literally can’t miss your destiny”; well for starters, the fact that you are reading this (which safely assumes you are concerned or care about your destiny) means that you likely will not miss your destiny. because you care. you can, however, delay it.
I realized that in this very long, and complicated article-turned-eBooklet, I neglected some very simple and cool examples related to the overall notion of destiny. when I woke up today, as I was thinking about my desired stopping points on this train of life toward my destiny, I recalled a pretty cool example of how we can’t miss our destiny but we can delay it. here it goes…
in the early 2000s, I was working in corporate trade and barter for a media company in CT. each week, I would go to the bank drive-through to cash my check, and toward the end of my time in CT the bank teller — a really funny, upbeat older lady — would tell me “you look like Erica Kane‘s daughter!”. and I would say, “who? what?”. and the teller would say “ERICA KANE!!! – from All My Children!”. and I would say “what is All My Children?”…and she would laugh and yell at me that it was the most famous soap opera on television. she told me to look up Kendall Hart. I didn’t. but, I kept working at the corporate gig while day-dreaming about expressing myself artistically. I was devastatingly shy though, and I was making use of my career in financial services and sales to try to break through this acute shyness.
as a young child, I was classically trained on the piano. I would write my own music and sing. I was a trained flautist as well. my early life was music of my own creation. I stopped all of that early on for reasons which you may find throughout the rest of this blog. in any event, it was after college at Northeastern University and obtaining a degree that I feared I would never use that my heart began to scream at me to pursue my dreams – not someone else’s. I feared that I was too old, too behind, but nonetheless I went for it. you can read about my first thundering awakening here, which describes some of my path. I knew that “achieving” in the corporate landscape was really important for me, on both an interpersonal and personal development level as well as to be relatable to the world for what I would do in the future. it was hard. my brain hurt most days. I had to turn off my creative side and turn on only the logical side (thankfully I do have both sides, and they both operate quite well — together or apart). but I knew that I was moving toward something important, and unlike you kids today, I knew that the time/blood/sweat/tears was not something that I could skip over by faking it. so I’m at this job in CT in my little suits, doing mascara in my rear view mirror on the highway in the am, dreaming about what I REALLY want in life. which was/is…SO.MANY.THINGS. art was one of them…
shortly after the bank teller incident, I spent about 3 more months at my corporate job. and while I was there, I took a standup comedy class in Manhattan, performed at a few venues, and had my photograph taken for headshots…which I began sending to all of the soap operas that taped in NYC. I didn’t even know that I needed a resume, or that a proper format was necessary. like a freak, I sent my headshot in an envelope covered in hearts, stars, angels and glitter. how on earth I thought this was normal, I am not sure. but I sent these out a few times and moved to Manhattan just a few months later.
when I landed in Harlem in a bedroom which was really a closet (which had no closet), situated right outside of a loud bus stop, sleeping with my cat’s litter box next to my head, I was overjoyed at the courage it took for me to move away from a “comfortable life” (it really wasn’t, by the way) in the suburbs and admit my real path via the tiny steps I was taking…finally getting some headshots, taking some classes — which TERRIFIED me (but you can’t ignore your heart’s desire because that is your purpose my dear), and working at a stable sales job which paid me ok. I also did something that I had never done before. I went to a psychic (now deceased). she was known for working with the local police departments and I was intrigued. I mean, I KNEW what I knew, but I wanted to know what this experience would be like or offer me (for the record, I do not recommend psychic readings in general – that is another subject). so I travel from Harlem to the upper east side of Manhattan to see this lady, and she tells me that I am supposed to be on a soap opera and then after that it is up to me if I want to continue to pursue a career in acting or not. I saw her in January, and she told me that I would be on a soap opera that fall on one condition: that I was not to enter a romantic relationship. of course I didn’t listen.
a few months later, I entered a romantic relationship. despite being a great learning experience, it was a huge drain on my energy field. my energy levels dropped as low as they could go. I went from feeling inspired every day, to not being able to sleep. the “why” here can be found throughout the rest of this blog. in a nutshell, I did not have ANY experience — not in my entire life — of being taken care of. I had no idea what it felt like, or how to let it in, and I often sought out folks who needed my caretaking. typically their lives would explode with success in a very short time whilst mine suffered, once the relationship began. I hung in there repeating old personal unconscious patterns until I broke, and immediately after I broke casting agents began calling my phone…
during the aforementioned period of time, while I was sort of stagnant and in a relationship, I still worked my A$$ off. I quit my corporate job less than a year after seeing the psychic, I dedicated 100% of my time to learning about film and TV sets by doing stand-in and photo-double work for Blake Lively and a couple other cast members on Gossip Girl (I worked enough to make the same living that I made in my CT corporate job — plus, free food!), and I did the grunt work most turn their noses up at. I also took an important class…a soap opera class…
I took this class just a couple of years after the bank teller “prophecized” my future, lol. I had not thought of the bank teller, by the way, for many years after that — I only recalled her a few years ago from today, actually. when I arrived at this class, the casting director teaching it looked at me squarely and said “do we know eachother? I feel like I have met you before”. in fact, he stopped the class (I was late) to tell me this when I entered the room. I had no idea what he was talking about. at the end of the class that weekend, he told me that I looked too much like one of the main stars to be on the show…but he really hoped that he could make something work one day.
I left that class, called my boyfriend’s mom, and told her that I had just gotten a role on All My Children but it might take some time to happen. one and a half years later, my phone rang…it was All My Children. they had a part for me.
and let me back up just a tad. just one week prior to the ominous phone call from casting (and less than one year after my breakup), I was at a family event. one of the textbook alcoholics in the group (drunk by 5pm) had a random “message” for me…”you know who you look like? you look like that girl on All My Children. you could play her evil twin”. pardonne-moi? to my knowledge, this person had never even watched a soap opera before. I dismissed their comment and went about my life. and a week later that phone rang…
there were now three separate individuals, who did not know each other (plus me!), who “predicted” that I should appear on this soap opera. they even narrowed it down to a specific character — whom, again, though I would have LOVED to believe I look like (she is…stunning), I didn’t see it. she was a full size or so smaller than me, an inch shorter, she had dark, super-curly amazing hair, and I had blonde straight hair. but, I HAD been sending out those headshots…taking my classes…putting in my peasant hours on many tv and film sets…and it WAS my dream at that time to simply guest star on a soap opera…the casting director seemed to “know” me… so I went to the “audition”, which wasn’t even an audition — thank GOD. I really couldn’t. they had me say my name, do a twirl, and the woman behind the camera seemed intrigued. a few days later, I was on the show! as Kendall Hart’s doppelganger…
now, it wasn’t just that I was on the show (which was supposed to be a “one day” role…and “turned into” more once I met the super-nice lady writers on set)…it was THE TIMING. and the timing as it relates to the very title of this article.
nothing about the title of this article would make sense unless I provided the above full context for it. what was most fascinating about the timing was what I knew in my heart, and what the psychic had said to me. that if I got into a relationship, it would slow me down. and a few years after guest starring on that show, I learned something interesting.
the same year that I saw that psychic, there was a role for a Kendall “lookalike” on All My Children. the role appeared in the fall of that year. and as my free will would have it, I entered a relationship which completely shifted my trajectory and timing — BUT IT DID NOT CHANGE MY OUTCOME/DESTINY. this is one of many reasons that I know we can not mess up our destiny. so, instead, my destiny timeline was bumped. it was bumped by three full years. I spent over two in a relationship. the time difference between moving to Manhattan and the role of the Kendall lookalike coming into tangible form was about 9 months. the time difference between my breakup and the SECOND role of the Kendall lookalike coming into existence was…about 9 months. in addition, the first Kendall lookalike role had no speaking part…because she wasn’t the one. I was. in each case, the same realities presented but I was only there to step through one of them. the one that I stepped through, materialized. and though this may not seem like such a big deal as it was just a little guest star role, it is still something that many people work decades for and never achieve. it was ominous, but I had to put in the work. it was ominous for reasons, also, that you may not even know (but which I know), and for reasons which remain to be seen — for they are connected to my destiny.
opportunities are constantly being created around us, based on our destiny and God’s will for our purpose. what we choose to pass through and learn along the way, will move the marker on the map of our big life experiences so that all can align to match them properly. when people stress out about finding “the one” and having a baby and so forth, what they are failing to recognize is how it’s not all about just them. lots of pieces need to come together. and when we make choices, it’s not that they are wrong — but they will move the timeline of marked imminent destiny stops on our path toward destiny. I’ve lived this out in many ways, and I could share more experiences — but that would be writing the entire book here. this one example — of which there are some little synchronous details I’ve even left out — is enough.
to make everything even sweeter, the actress who played Kendall Hart could not have been nicer. Alicia is her name and she is a rare, true gem. the first day on set, I was so nervous that I could barely speak (imagine that). she rushed over while I was in hair and makeup and said “are you my double!!??”…she was so sweet and frankly I felt so inadequate to be there. I also found her to be so beautiful, and I was insecure about being dubbed HER double when I didn’t really compare in my mind. nonetheless, she made my experience everything that you would ever want it to be in such an opportunity. then, there was more…about 6 years later, walking around my neighborhood (hers as well!), I ran into Alicia and her daughter. we reconnected and have remained in touch to this day. she is one of the nicest, most unconditional and pure people I have ever met. I feel a sisterly vibe with her that is rare. she is…the best. I also continued to be mistaken for her at local restaurants, and once upon a time a friend of hers snapped a photo of me and sent it to her, asking if she was me at the restaurant that night!
what you hold in your heart is there for you to take because it IS your destiny. this is SO DIFFERENT from what you hold in your ego. what you hold in your heart will test your patience, your faith, and your personal will. if you really pay attention, you will be given all of the instructions (often lacking detail to keep you hungry) to move forward. it is important to note that it is what you hold in your HEART, not your EGO. during extremely tough times in my life, and even when I initially officially launched Healing Elaine®, I prayed to God that I was doing the right thing. I begged to hear the truth. I absolutely surrendered to the potential for God’s will to be for me to go work in a shoe store in Ohio. I am DEAD serious. I want to do and be what I am here for. I had to trust that my joy WAS my destiny…and that my joy came from the purest of places. I was always taught that anything that made me happy was WRONG. so this was and has been quite the U-turn. I still pray, DAILY, to guide me according to God’s plan, not mine. and again I am being absolutely and totally serious here. I feel as though I have lived infinite lives, and as a result the frivolous stuff just doesn’t matter to me. someone I admire once told me “your essence is so old that you are like the vapor that was here before earth or any of the planets even appeared”. with that said, I know what is fleeting and what is real…and it is our destiny via our joy via our truth that is real. everything else is an illusion.
you quite literally can’t miss your destiny. follow the above, dive into your soul, listen to yourself, risk embarrassment (crucial and imminent), be willing to have your insides turned outside, and be willing to be “wrong”. you will reach your destiny. and as the best fiction/non-fiction side-note that I could possibly reference, go and read The Alchemist! destiny is timeless.
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