how being destroyed helps you to surrender — and why it happens.

when we are destroyed, we are forced to open our minds to more possibilities. while it may not seem like it at the time, losing “everything” (or something of the like) is God’s way of helping us create a new reality. those who never “risk it all” in life — whether through romance or lifestyle (i.e. choosing “safe” partners, lol, or through sticking to the 9-5 that makes them feel trapped when they are ACTUALLY a born entrepreneur) — often feel stuck, stagnant and miserable. if you have been or you are being destroyed, you are being given an opportunity to see things differently. to open to possibility. if you can’t see or understand this, then maybe this article is just for you.

being destroyed is a gift. most people don’t see it this way, though, because they are Godless. regardless of whether they “pray” or adhere to a specific religion. religion doesn’t matter, either — “God” is still God. there are infinite interpretations of this, non-denominational as well, which all support this thing called LIFE…you don’t know how or why certain things happen all day, yet you accept them — this is an example of God whether you know it or not. source energy is God. being Godless means believing that we control every and all outcomes in our life. it’s like being a control freak. this leads to addiction, which leads to ultimate surrender (whether a physical death or a spiritual or metaphoric one). there are Godless people everywhere. they don’t understand that SCIENCE AND SPIRIT ARE THE SAME THING. those who claim to be devout “whatever” to “God” or spirit or a religion can also be frauding themselves, as they speak it but don’t live it. I won’t go down the rabbit hole of what makes a person Godless but what I mention here should get you thinking about it and knowing that it is a real concept and epidemic. when we are Godless, we do not trust or have faith. when we are Godless, we are completely incapable of surrender. being destroyed opens us further to God energy.

you might have heard stories about people who have lost their children in tragic or violent circumstances, and how they “overcame” such loss. while I can’t imagine what that feels like, what I do know is that through their loss they were (obviously) forced to surrender and tap into the infinite. in the infinite, things don’t make sense the way that they do on 3D planet earth. when I was younger and I would hear unthinkable stories about people losing loved ones in ways that should “never happen” to a person, and I would hear that they “healed by their faith in God”, I didn’t believe it; I thought that “God” to them was a bandaid. not until recently did I learn about the infinite in a new way that allows me to even potentially fathom what faithful persons of unthinkable tragedy connect to after such an experience.

the understanding of the above is in the physics of surrender. surrender will come either by will (though often first via force), or by actual physical death. however surrender is surrender, because in physical death we still exist as an energy. all that ever was still exists and it can’t be created or destroyed; it just IS. the IS, is the God (I’ll keep looking for synonyms and analogies here since so many people are indeed triggered by the word “God” — and for understandable reasons considering the most sacred concept on earth has been abused…as the light always is). in the IS, either in the waking or sleeping (death) state, we have SURRENDER. the state itself is a direct connection to the infinite (God). see how this works?

when we land in the infinite via surrender, either via will (prompted again usually by force) or physical death, we become one with God. it is only in this territory that we may even begin to fathom, imagine or connect to possibilities beyond what we have been trained (like human machines) to believe.

I asked myself and God my entire life as a child WHYYYYYYYYY. I don’t recall ever receiving an answer, or intellectually knowing “why”. I believe that it was simply an unconscious and very natural God energy perhaps, that kept me going. there was also WILL involved in living in TRUTH. the “why” as to my will being such and someone else’s NOT being such IS A WHOLE OTHER ARTICLE. if you read through this entire website and blog you will find nuances and explanations of such. later in my adult life I went through, still, ridiculous feats. I’ve always said that while humans are created equal, energy and karma and paths ARE NOT. I already KNOW why my path has been different and I don’t care what ignorant person outside of me says otherwise or uses some baloney surface “law of attraction” crap to explain anything about me or my life. and, those people are in for quite the shock down the road. so during these ridiculous feats, though, I learned EVEN MORE about surrender. the surrender as a child was one thing, and the surrender as an adult was another thing…

as a child I clearly could not connect to the “why” of the surrender that was FORCED upon me. it was in my FORCED surrendered state that I know I visited the infinite over and over and over again as a means to STAY ALIVE. it is absolutely remarkable that I did not break psychologically. with the exception of one marked panic attack at 24, there was no outside source or ingredient that tethered me except for myself. people were astounded by it. “experts”, too. “experts” who are SO disconnected from themselves that they write prescriptions all day for ANYTHING that doesn’t fit the SICK norm. the sick norm is THE WHOLE POINT of the system. also another article. yet as a young adult and adult in my 20s, I knew why. one day I looked in the mirror, after mountains of loss and betrayal, and I said “I know why my life has been this way”. knowing why was my reward for staying true to myself, not selling out to a lesser or easier path, and it was also my destiny. I simply honored that destiny. and so it was…

I “knew why” I had been broken into surrender because the unconscious willful connection to source and the infinite that I traveled to OVER AND OVER AGAIN as a child now felt…conscious. decided. I began to understand the art of surrender, and that while it was most often FORCED upon us, it was nonetheless also a choice. and it was God. but what did it MEAN? it meant that I HAD to see things as they ARE…not as I was told that they should be or even could be. surrender meant that I HAD to open myself to the impossible, to the unthinkable. without knowing surrender, I NEVER would have started Healing Elaine®. if you don’t know my story about how/when/why I started it, read through this entire site. HE® came from a terrified but SURRENDERED knowing of my purpose here on earth. and it didn’t and doesn’t stop there…

learning about thousands of other people’s lives and spiritual lives and traumas and tragedies via my HE® work only allowed me to further cultivate my own science for healing and transmuting darkness with others, as well as begin to understand the science behind surrender as it relates to God energy. in the God energy, all things are possible — we just need to grab it. but we can not “just grab it” on our own. we have to be destroyed first. just like I was over and over as a child which is the beautiful part about what I’ve been able to do with my life and for others.

when I began HE® I was afraid of A LOT OF THINGS. I did it anyway. I surrendered enough to start it, and I surrendered enough to keep going at it. as I’ve already said before, I knew from the GATE that the dark forces that try to rule our world would catch up with me SIMPLY BECAUSE WHAT I WAS DOING WAS TOO GOOD. there is no other way to say it. so I ran hard and as fast as I could, working as much as possible with very few vacations and little downtime. even my vacations felt like work — except the one that I took to Thailand. with that exception, I was still fully mindful of the fact that I was being chased…I just wasn’t clear BY WHAT, because it didn’t have a face yet. and then 2017 happened.

for those of you who are still IGNORANTLY in the dark about how our world is run and how and why politics plays a CRUCIAL and unfortunate role in that RIGHT NOW, best of luck to you. I’ve detailed this extensively in other articles and your willful dormant and sleep-like state is a tragedy of your own choosing. you’ve gone against yourself. to “fit in”; basically to have an easier life. easy is a SIN. easy in terms of personal will is A SIN. easy in terms of enjoying a day at the beach IS NOT A SIN. there is a difference. anyhow, what I KNEW within me finally presented in raw human form. I met some of the most evil people in my life beginning in 2017. more evil than I ever could have imagined. satanists. ritualists. life sacrificers. HOLLYWOOD. POLITICS. ELITISM. this was also, conveniently, the year that I would be pulled to a near full STOP thanks to the big tech puppet masters that ARE PART OF ALL OF THE DARKNESS YOU SEE AND DO NOT SEE. yes I am writing in capital letters because some of you can not hear me, STILL. yes it makes me angry. yes it is unfortunate. yes your egos are disgusting to me. as you sit and watch others suffer and take the fall for things that you are only required to ACKNOWLEDGE, not even go through. I’m a human. I won’t pretend it doesn’t enrage me, because it does. and it stands in STARK CONTRAST to all that I have taught many people who have conveniently turned a blind eye to these facts. I consider this, despite a typical human fallacy, a true crime. never in life will many of these people ever again gain access to a connection like the one that they were provided with and through me in our work together, and to toss that away basically commits a person to an energy they were trying to stay away from in the first place by reaching out to me. I slightly digress. in 2017, all that I knew but had not yet seen came to pass. and it destroyed me. and the bigger question, beyond soul’s purpose and logistics is…WHY?

well, it really was no different from the why of my early life, other than the fact that NOW I could interpret it and do something differently. sure, it was there as a sort of culling machine to separate for me those who were good for me to be around and those who were not (either for then, or in the future!). but it was there for a next level SURRENDER. since the surrender that I did as a child was really more unconscious, the latter surrender was there to bridge both the unconscious and conscious aspects of the art of surrender together for me so that I could CREATE. for the infinite represents all potentials, and all possibilities. I ALSO was able to begin to learn about this from a GROUNDED SPACE…the UNGROUNDED SPACES in which people “try” to “learn” about this are 1) “psychics” and “fortunetelling” 2) drugs 3) promiscuity and fake “sex positive” messaging (LOL — so over this one) 4) THE INTERNET. the internet is both a blessing and a curse. and when people FORGET that they are people, they aren’t really living here or able to ever embody their purpose. all of the above ungrounded spaces are spaces of addiction and escapism if one is not extremely careful. so the grounded space that I was granted as of late came not only from all of the work that I had done, but the product of that work which was always staying “here”, so to speak. I didn’t leave my body. I never “broke”, even though I broke inside of my heart.

just when I thought that things could not get logistically worse, they did. and it didn’t stop. I was disgusted as people watched but never offered to help me. those who did, it was never enough. people who don’t live in the kind of space that I do don’t understand what it is to go through something like this, but they sure do expect to benefit from the fruits of the knowledge of it. this made me mad and feel unsupported. I moved into a space of understanding that my ideas about my life and how my life should be were still under target. somehow, despite all of the loss and SHOCK and trauma that I endured from 2017 forward, I was still settling. settling in thought, settling in possibility, settling in conscious idea (though my subconscious thoughts, possibilities and ideas were EVER ABUNDANT!!). once again, I was being forced onto a path of surrender…AGAIN. again. ugh. what is it that I was not seeing?

I wasn’t seeing what I wasn’t seeing. what I wasn’t seeing isn’t something that I could just conjure up and imagine all on my own…it was a seeing that only God and the infinite could present to me — after I surrendered. I did this in the way that I already wrote about repeatedly above. the very act of being destroyed, endlessly, was my surrender. I became very good at it, too…simply because I clung to faith and fight. I clung to faith and fight because I know how this stuff works…and if you are so bold as to stay in the physical vessel that you are in right now, you bring your entire being as well as the connection points to other beings into further expansiveness and possibility. just by staying the course. by not killing yourself. by not caving to a conventional norm. BY NOT CAVING TO A CONVENTIONAL NORM.

the odd thing about me, is that I AM actually conventional! I just got forced onto a ridiculous path. the only “choices” that I have made have been to not abandon the path that God wants for me. people who never take any risks like to say “you chose that, though — you chose circumstances that would put you at risk for loss so why should I support you or help you?”…they are GODLESS. not bad people. just GODLESS. they can’t see with their eyes closed. I can. a person can see with their eyes closed when they have surrendered enough — when they have been destroyed enough. so being as conventional as a person could be while having no choice but to follow an unconventional path if I wanted to stay alive meant that I still had/have surrendering to do. when I sat and thought about WHY things wouldn’t end, why the censorship wouldn’t stop and why people didn’t offer to help me, I started to imagine that I just was perhaps not yet open to the good that laid ahead…for if I TRULY was, perhaps it would be here???

self-blame versus self-awareness is a slippery slope. I used to lean into self-blame because it was my training. and then I attracted (obviously) people around me who not only lived the same way, but who reinforced it within ME. it didn’t necessarily SOUND like self-blame, but it was. self-awareness comes in a surrendered state though. and this seemed to be part of the final path. what did I TRULY desire? who was I REALLY? was I being enough of who I AM? was I willing to let go of how I thought my life SHOULD look — again? what ideas did I hold within me that were not congruent to my future? could I really be playing a part in shifting or not shifting my reality based on how surrendered I was, even though I already thought I was surrendered?

the answer to the above rested in yet an even more heightened and other-worldly openness to “other”. I began to note that the last time something like “this” happened, it was right before I began HE®. I had to break entire ideas that I had about how my life should look/work. I started a company that no one else can touch. when I began, there were like TWO “reiki” people in NYC. that’s it. it took a lot of balls to do something so weird when even my own “friends” voiced concern over it, lol. UNTIL of course, I became really successful at it. I did the unthinkable. now, it’s not unthinkable — because it’s already been done. now, it’s trendy (I’m not saying don’t do it — we always need more healers). it will never require the leap of faith that I took, OR the surrender. because it’s been woven. you can read about me or my work and basically set up an entire business around it. people have done this (or tried) lol. it is simply no longer unchartered terrain as it was when I began and that’s simply the truth. unchartered terrain requires surrender. so the impasse that I found myself at (AGAIN) screamed at me in a similar way that starting HE® did, right before I did. I simply was being asked to take yet ANOTHER leap in ego, mindset and destiny.

the leap was like the last one. open myself to the unthinkable. open myself to the AMAZING. the amazing in life always brings up fear, for ALL OF US. the amazing in life is why so few do it. because most people fear what others think. they even fear what THEY THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES. and so they aren’t willing to follow their heart or true path, which is TRULY a gift from God. this gift is the surrender. the surrender IS the infinite. the infinite IS the dreams that we hold closest to our hearts, even the ones that we don’t want to say out loud because they are unchartered. I really had to think about this.

the neat thing about leaping, is that you won’t do it all on your own. first, your circumstances will become SO ridiculous that you literally don’t care anymore. I wrote about this YEARS ago, and it’s how/why I began HE®. I simply no longer cared what people thought only because the pain of my circumstances outweighed my actual circumstances. this is called being destroyed. this is how being destroyed is a gift. it makes you care less about things that you used to care about or THINK that you cared about. like what people think and what you think about yourself. you lose more self-judgement…and in the process, God sends you opportunities in the form of people and experiences to listen to, to bond with, and to uplevel with. these opportunities can be risked or not risked. in my early HE® days, right before I really put myself on the map, I did take a risk with an awful person. I’ll call them a She-devil. I won’t say what the risk was. I didn’t know they were evil — which is yet just another gift of the circumstance. by taking a risk, God taught me about evil. and the risk was still also worth the reward. the thing is, in taking risks, we ARE opening ourselves to pain. and it’s hard to un-train the mind from recognizing or anticipating pain when it’s been most of what we know. this is where an ego death comes in (a real one — not the bs trendy ones they now like to “write about” online). and at a certain point, with enough destruction, the mind will ALSO stop caring about the potential risks associated with rewards that are destined. I was destined to meet the She-devil. I met her through two OTHER ridiculous demonic human beings who also ironically still led me down the path I was meant to go on. I listened to God. I never went against myself. I never will. and that is the point — you can’t screw up your life when all you do is honor yourself. the things that we “lose” were never ours, and they even had upsides despite the overall experience. I began to learn about leaping in a new way…and that perhaps my greatest fear STILL was, in part, having everything that I want…just more so by GOD’S standards!

letting go by opening to seeming “off the wall” desires of mine had to happen again, just like it did many times before. it happened when I quit a corporate career after going to a 5-star University and feeling guilty about it. I quit a corporate career to go be an actress on TV, lol. even a therapist I had seen told me “don’t do it”. but, I knew better. I knew and saw and felt my destiny, and I hung onto “convention” AS LONG AS I POSSIBLY COULD despite my own knowing. I waited until the 11th hour. my life always seems to happen at the 11th hour anyway. letting go by opening to unconventional living was the best thing that I could do and the best thing that I can STILL do because of surrender. I just didn’t realize, these last few years, how much further I could “push it”, lol. I can push it. I had to consider what I want versus what I think I should want or what my ceilings are. some people are better at this than others! those who care about what people think are at a deficit. they either haven’t been destroyed enough yet, or they aren’t close to God — being destroyed = surrender = God.

being destroyed helps you to surrender. if you are being destroyed, consider all that I have said here. you’re not being punished. but you are probably punishing yourself. open to the God of your understanding in a new way. or, just open to God. it’s ok to want what you really want in life. no matter how wild, unconventional, impractical or “crazy”. your desire IS your God energy.

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