Going after what you want, versus KNOWING what you want

GOING VERSUS KNOWING. I am a person who goes after what I want, but what is the difference between going after what you want versus KNOWING what you want?

Disparity between the two notions can be quite the conundrum as we factor in feelings, ideas, and timelines. Since everything that ever became a tangible was first an intangible, logic doesn’t carry the greatest weight when considering “what you want”.

An energy began to rise within me this year, and it’s an energy I don’t recall connecting to since I was 21. During lunch with a friend earlier this week, he commented on my recent article about timelines – and how he felt himself looping around and RECONNECTING to an energy aka TIMELINE from decades ago. If you consider my article (which you would have to understand, in order to consider) and the references to “TIME”, then reconnecting to parts of yourself reserved for SPECIFIC EVENTS to take place makes sense. Also – please note that I am WELL AWARE of psychology and how a very BASIC person in that trade would “analyze” this; I can tell you 100 that what I am writing about here has not been assessed (and certainly not by someone living within the confines of some red-taped occupation owned by big pharma or…whatever), and it is not mind-fracturing or trauma-based. I digress…

I bring up my reconnection to a particular energy aka timeline, as well as my friend’s recognition of his own based on my article, because God actually reserves entire TIMELINES for us so that we know what we want. Knowing is akin to perfect timing, and going is akin to simply swinging the bat. There is nothing wrong with swinging the bat…

Swinging the bat – going after what you want – is great, but it can also be draining…because you are going versus knowing. Let’s break down going versus knowing…

Going is following a program, and knowing is following your core. Going comes from your mind, and knowing comes from your heart (core, soul being). The two things feel very different. With going, there is attachment and “hope”; with knowing, there is detachment, unconditional love (for self, others, and all potential outcomes) and even enlightenment. By enlightenment I’m not referring to the new age philosophical crap, but rather I am saying there is understanding – peace – around why what you know you want IS a certain way at a certain time. There is no internal agita happening. When you KNOW what you want, there is no internal battle as to why you don’t have it yet – or, if you DO have it, why it doesn’t look a certain way. This is the enlightenment I am speaking about with regard to what knowing what you want feels like.

Going feels like an energy in your head; since we are living in an idea space versus a being space, all of the energy moves up the body from the feet and effectively takes you OUT of your body. We do this when we are scared, in trauma, or dissociated. It happens when we do drugs. Knowing feels like a grounding right through the soles of your feet – the energy begins in your heart and shoots both up AND down at the same time.

With going, there is confusion – and we “go” because we are seeking clarity; that is the beauty of going after what we want…we want to see what will happen, and this is the meaning of life. With knowing, there is clarity – and we know, because we have been “going” for such a long time that our lessons in said category of life are paying off! Knowing is also the meaning of life, but it’s on the other side of going…we need the latter to ever discover the former.

There have been a few things in my life that I have simply “known” and gone after, and in each case it required complete 100% surrender around WHAT WOULD HAPPEN NEXT. If we are looking for insurance or guarantees, THEN WE ARE NOT IN KNOWNG. We are not knowing what we want, we are going after what we want – and as I’ve explained, there is a massive difference between the two states of being. Just because we know what we want, DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT WILL END UP EXACTLY HOW WE WANT IT DO – that would actually defeat the entire purpose of knowing, of God, and of LIFE…

Knowing what we want – again – has no attachment. Knowing, however, has excitement. Going has attachment and anxiety, and there is a desire to know all potential pitfalls and we analyze the whole thing to death. Examples include moving, dating, pursing a desire like your purpose or gift. I’ve had really interesting experiences in each of those categories with both going and knowing…

Let me talk about knowing. In knowing, I felt 100% willing to become as vulnerable as a person could possibly be and take every risk no matter how great. With my knowing, I was ready to fall and die on the truth of my knowing. In my knowing, my body was on fire with electricity and energy (note: THIS IS NOT AN EMOTION – or, a woo-woo yoga experience or a drug – it is a NATURAL, SOBER STATE). I’ve experienced this knowing several times with moving, twice with regard to unexplained and unconditional love I felt toward persons regarding dating/partnership, and twice with my purpose.

Let’s talk about my knowing with purpose. There was a desire I could not get away from; when I daydreamed, it was about my purpose and there were two major ones – speaking/sharing in front of others, and helping others in uncharted ways. Since there are tiny steps inclusive of a path to purpose, I had to get excited even about those – even about the MUNDANE. This is why I think it’s so ridiculous that people don’t want to work for what they desire. Anyways…I knew I wanted to be on TV. It didn’t make complete sense, since I was a VERY shy person in that regard and nearly passed out my first day on the set of All My Children back in 2009. Yet, the desire burned through my core, and I was willing to work as hard as possible to make it happen. I turned down MAJOR job opportunities in financial sales to wait tables and I cried in the bathroom during my shifts because I couldn’t memorize all of the wines and I didn’t like doing such a job – but I was 100% willing because it was the only path to part of my dream that was connected to my OTHER dreams/destiny. I stood in below freezing temperatures on movie and tv sets, turned down offers from directors who wanted to date me, said no to celebrity men who wanted to date me (which would have “furthered” my career), and I stayed focused on the reason I moved to New York City in the first place. The desire I felt was my knowing, and it kept me clean, safe and successful. This knowing will keep you on the right side of the street, because you aren’t in your head (which will cause you to make concessions, even if you don’t realize it).

This incredible knowing of my path showed up for me in synchronicity which I won’t bother diving into here, and also I’d like to avoid the woo-woo aspects of this journey. However it’s important to note that God will show you all kinds of reinforcing signs to smile at you along the way when you are in your knowing. Nothing about my path felt like going, with regard to the first part of my first purpose. When you are in knowing in purpose, you are willing to forego financial stability, social status, or whatever fake and fleeting “comforts” others fall for because they are weaker than you are. Knowing calls you to fall, and you are willing to do so no matter how high you climb.

My knowing with moving was the same; a fire in my belly and heart – not an impulsive one – that gave me a LASER FOCUS I couldn’t get away from. In order to have this, you have to tune out people, places and things that have had you GOING for too long. If you are in your head regarding a situation and it’s not just flowing, then you are in going not knowing. I had to leave locations that felt like I was “going”…after what I wanted, but really I was treading water. In “knowing” I was supposed to move, and where, it didn’t matter to me what happened next. And to be honest, things really fell apart a couple of times – however that did NOT mean that my knowing was wrong! People get this part so confused. We are here to expand, and the one reason people don’t grow is they take no risks…things falling apart is NOT a punishment and it does NOT mean that you didn’t follow your KNOWING…however if your knowing is strong, then you don’t need that part explained anyhow! My moves were never preceded by fear, but by expansion…you might feel this as a tiny, but LOUD fire-like voice screaming at you to GO and in that process it is ok to FEEL FEAR but NOT BE LED BY IT. There is a difference. Fear is a natural emotion, but it is not a natural DECISION-MAKER – I wrote about that here.

In love / dating / partnership, my knowing exploded with a life force throughout my entire being that there are no words for. This type of knowing is totally separate from emotion, too, even though emotion can be experienced, because in knowing there is also detachment from outcome. If we were attached to the outcome, using emotion, we would control the situation and steer it improperly. What makes matters of love different from moving or purpose is the simple fact that we are predisposed to emotions which arise that are just entirely different. With these two experiences for me in the context of soul mate, I had absolutely no concern for outcome. When we are GOING after what we want, without knowing, there are all kinds of stories we tell ourselves and LOGIC that we use (big no-no in matters of the heart), which serve simply to move past old trauma with family or whatever. The going is not a deeply-rooted soul connection but rather the mind’s way of working out old patterns, and figuring out why we “are the way we are”; in this context, the other person is just a mirror to show us things we don’t want to see anymore.

Knowing in the context of romantic partnership doesn’t come with traditional concerns. And, again, you aren’t supposed to map the whole thing out because that would be the “going” part…the part that serves LESSONS instead of FRUITS. With knowing, in this context, you are gifted with things that YOU DID NOT HAVE PRIOR.

My two experiences with matters of the heart gifted me with an expansion I still try to articulate. They did not begin as lower chakra (basic, anyone-can-do-it-and-have-it, sexual desires) drives, even though those were there; rather they began OUTSIDE OF ME/MY BODY. Obviously, if we are soul beings first having a human experience, then this was something beyond the tangible. What I felt, circled my entire being and came from another place. It was bigger than me, and bigger than this other person. There was purpose to be discovered, and I was just there for the ride. This knowing didn’t involve analysis, confusion or hope; rather it connected me to a completely unconditional space.

The one word to describe knowing in the context of partnership is: unconditional. In each case, there was a recognition of the divine and a complete acceptance of a person’s very being…whatever that was. And it’s really the weirdest thing to just see someone so clearly; through the lens of God, perhaps. You see their gifts – both tangible and intangible – and you feel gifted just by meeting them. It doesn’t matter what happens next, but THERE IS A KNOWING OF WHAT WILL. This can never be taken away, and that is why it is not a typical experience! There are not restrictions, and not the typical “rules” or “requests” that GOING after what you want in the context of partnership warrants.

A knowing with regard to a person changes your entire life, and you change theirs – whether that happens simultaneously or not (but usually it does). In this space of knowing, anything is possible. There is no stress. Again the only word that seems appropriate here is…unconditional.

I’m writing about love the most here, because it’s the topic everyone most wants to dissect. It is the topic that holds the most attachment, desperation, confusion and negativity in the context of GOING. And it’s 100% wonderful to GO after what you want in love, just like moving or soul’s purpose/desire…all I’m saying is what I said before: there is a difference between going and knowing. In going there are more lessons, and in knowing there are more fruits/gifts. And to get to the knowing, we must have had certain going/lessons.

In knowing, there is little dissection and tremendous excitement; knowing propels us forward (it is the X factor FUEL), and going sorts out the different parts of our vehicle so that we can drive it (aka it is our efforts, not God’s). In knowing, there is a burst of energy – a life force that can’t be conjured – and we may get prophetic visions with it as well. As I keep saying, with regard to location or life’s path/purpose or love, it is crucial we know the difference between attachment with any “visions” versus an actual map or direction by God.

I’ve had prophetic dreams my whole life – I can’t say I enjoy them all either, because some of them include death and destruction. I’ve had several dreams of death for those close to me just a short time before they died. This is always hard. And on the same token, I’ve had dreams of success in purpose, dreams about love, and dreams about location which were positive. I’ve also learned that the mind is a big space, largely studied but very misunderstood…and that even in my greatest knowing, I must know that I…DO NOT KNOW. Sure this sounds contradictory but it should not warrant explaining if you are capable of contextual thinking.

As I reflect upon the current “void space” that I recently spoke of in a video on my locals channel, I consider the uncharted path I see once again in my own life and I take into account the dreams I’ve had as of late which accompany BOTH my going and my knowing. Of course I am always “going” because I am a human being; it’s just that I know the difference between that and my knowing. And right now, I feel incredibly blessed to be connected to a knowing in three categories of my life. All I have to “do” is allow God to do His work. For when we are in knowing, our will simply aligns with God. And the going for what we want resides in the mundane; the knowing of what we want is reserved for the extraordinary.