updates, personal updates and feelings, and my first of three books coming

©Healing Elaine, photo by Anita Saini

although I am not doing healing sessions, I will still be writing and updating my blog. after all, it would be impossible to work with everyone on planet earth who either wants or needs the work that I do. so, as I have always seen, I will reach people in other ways. by stopping one-on-one sessions, I am beginning to re-store and re-cultivate my energy again. it feels good. and I have a lot of new thoughts and feelings.

first off, there are a handful of remote sessions and special offerings that I made to past patients who I built relationships with over many years. they took advantage of certain offers that I made, and obviously they will not be forgotten in my equation of stopping new sessions. if you are one of these people, you already know you are taken care of – in one way or another. I want those I’ve worked with to know how much I appreciate them on a soul level, and all of the things I learned from working with them.

next, there is this. the last three years of my life were the hardest they have ever been. in a very different way, from the past or the early part of my life. the fact is, I go through things which I can find not one person on planet earth to relate to. it is just what it is. it is what has driven my work in the past, this very specific and unorthodox personal energy signature that I carry. it is how I am able to do the work that I have done, break things down for people, present concepts, solve problems, and so on. it is a VERY lonely journey, and continuing to work in the way that I was WHILE facing a MONSTROUS uphill battle with censorship was a death sentence for me.

I know that many people have no idea that I was (still am!) censored, or the extent that it reached, and it has been frustrating (to say the VERY least) to try and explain to anyone — even those close to me — what has happened over the last three years. one reason that it has been frustrating is that it is so unchartered, what has happened to me, there is simply no way for someone to relate unless they walked the path. another reason that it has been so frustrating, is that people fundamentally can NOT have their world not make sense; this means, that it is easier for them to hear that the individual is the problem — not the system. I realize that this is not personal. but it has been incredibly painful and jarring to witness people almost going completely unconscious when they have heard of my battles. “go take a walk” is some advice I actually received. now I want to be very clear here: what I have been dealing with is literally close to life or death, on a large scale. I have absolutely no words to describe what has happened to me, though I have tried here and there in a variety of blog posts over the last year or so. the ONLY analogy that could even possibly reach anyone right now, is the corona pandemic and having your lights turned off OVERNIGHT – but not knowing why. with no resolution in sight, ever. this is the last three years of my life. combined with a host of scary, invasive, offensive tactics and actions designed to shut. me. down. in all ways. unless you walk in these shoes, you just do not know or have any inclination as to what this does to someone — mind, body and spirit. as I combined all of that with my will and drive to break through, continue working, and focus all of my energy on solving life or death situations for people, I learned that I had to let go. of two things: one, focusing any more energy on the devil himself, who has single-handedly choked my logistics and business to death; and two, giving all of my life force to sessions. no matter how much I love seeing people turn corners.

it has also been disappointing to observe convenient judgement from people who, for whatever reason, are not able to see me as anything but a strong person. what I have gone through has almost destroyed me on a soul level. there were many, many days over these past three years that I did not want to wake up. and again, in order for you to come close to understanding why, you would have to have been in my shoes on a daily basis. fighting off every website domain you own being hijacked and put up for auction. having your banking interfered with. having your accounts drained by services you didn’t purchase. having your photo taken by strangers. being contacted by operatives with the intention of catching you in some sort of off-color communication. being followed and stalked in all ways. being audited for no good reason. having nearly everything that you spent years organizing and posting online hidden (aka shadowbanned — still happening). having your phone lines crossed and voicemails deleted, no matter how many times you changed phone numbers. and all the while, dedicating your life to helping other people with dreams and goals that became more and more and more distant for yourself. seeing every dollar that you made go into a dark black pit, that sunk deeper and deeper because your legal, operational and other life or death fees demanded such. going into significant debt all because people want you silenced. and if you read this and don’t believe it, then get off of my pages – you don’t know how the world works. good deeds are often not rewarded, because: jealousy, control, greed, and the way the underbelly of our world actually works.

if I sound like I am complaining, I’m actually not. the reason that I can write about it at this time is because over the last fiscal year most specifically, I have been rebounding on a soul level. I didn’t write about this when I was at my most vulnerable, because there was no perspective or energy to do so. and, I realize in retrospect that everything I have gone through (which is a host of things many would not believe because they live simple lives) has prepared me for much of the work I have dreamed about since I was a little girl. some of this work involves global peace negotiations and working with certain leaders. if we have not witnessed the devil before our eyes, we can not discern energy. what the last three years have afforded me, aside from incredible pain and confusion, is: stamina, healthy anger, truth, and letting go of what ANYONE thinks about me. I do not care. when we no longer care, because we have been so broken, we are at our most free AND our most powerful. I am getting there.

I watch the bandwagon of “spiritual healers” and “gurus” who know only of the kind of pain that comes through parents divorcing as a child. and, that’s valid. but in the face of GLOBAL CRISES, it is nothing. commenting on global affairs, offering “sage” advice on major issues, is a joke unless you know how things work. very few people do know how things work. and while I am incredibly sensitive to the theory of relativity (I actually AM as non-judgemental as my testimonials suggest! I am just writing pure real-talk here to make a point), it is crucial for me to express my truth with the hopes of truly being the bridge between light and dark; light is the truth, and dark is lies. the majority of the planet lives in lies. the reason? they only believe what they see – and what they see is 99% censored and tailor-made to keep them controlled. divided and conquered. it is safe to say, that if you do not resonate 100% with what I am writing here, you do not know how the world works. if you are in your 20s or 30s, unless you were born into pure adversity and have experienced the planet on a corporate, global and otherwise VAST scale, you do not know how the world works. so, just consider that. it’s called being open-minded and malleable to positive change. one of the reasons that I say all of this, is that we are headed toward MAJOR truth bombs. it’s not conspiracy theory, and it’s not about politics either. the media has brainwashed you into binary, identity-driven thinking. and it’s a trap. and nearly EVERYONE on our planet is in it. I’ve watched as those who work for me have 180-ed their perspective of the world, simply because they have been around SOME of my unusual life experiences. and they have drawn their own conclusions around it, simply by proxy of the events that are impossible to ignore.

I’ve watched as (I always say that MOST people are addicts — to some THING) our addict-driven population which LOVES drama and chaos and negativity, has become its worst version of itself during corona. it has highlighted the saddest part of the human condition epidemic that we live in: addiction to drama and negativity. nearly everyone believes they are an “expert”, and that their “hate” is warranted, and little do they realize that they are part of a big psychological human experiment. here is a tip to go around that: turn off CNN. turn off CBS. turn off MSNBC. turn off the mainstream addict social programming channels that cultivate fear, judgement, and MISINFORMATION. you are being lied to all day long, and you do not even know it. and then, you are going out into the world or to your little devices and spewing exactly the narrative that is designed to brainwash you rinse and repeat like a windup doll. if this offends you, then good – maybe it will push you to the brink of breakdown and to actual awakening. it is time for everyone to learn that there is no such thing as cancel culture. it is time to learn that because someone knows or lives or believes differently than you, they are still valid. most of all, it is important to know that YOU ARE WHAT YOU HATE. this one is my favorite. I look at the uncontainable hate and judgment heaved by people online — little do they know, they are revealing EXACTLY what unconscious experiences they have not even come close to processing. for example: you “HATE” Donald Trump or some other public figure sooooooo much that you have to talk about and post about them EVERY DAY? really? what you are screaming is: “I have so much hatred for my immediate family and the things that remind me of them that I will never consciously admit to myself, so let me use THIS target as my projection screen and maybe no one will notice”. people DO notice. I watched a young person who had worked for me in various capacities at one point, consistently making ageist and racist comments. all day. ironically, I fit the exact categories of their racist and ageist comments. I never said anything, as I knew they were fighting themSELVES. deep within them, they hated something about their race. and they hated those close to them who fit the age bill, because they felt abandoned by them. our outward hate, regardless of whether we feel it is “warranted” or not, says everything about us — and nothing about our target. and just because “everyone” around you is doing it, doesn’t mean that it is ok. at some point, the truth in our individual lives and collective lives IS revealed, and that includes YOURS TOO.

I am embarrassed for most of society, but at the same time totally understanding and accepting of everyone — we are seeing this negativity that I am both embarrassed for and accepting of, everywhere. on all sides of every equation. there is a rare, ACTUALLY WOKE, group of people NOT throwing hate and shade in every direction, JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE UNHEALED. and THESE are the people I am interested in knowing in life. they happen to exist, as diversity in life would have it, on every side of every equation! so, if you see me or hear of me hanging out or talking with “xyz person”, think twice before you label me as “X”. this is such an old, unconscious and outdated way of relating to the world. and if you are doing this, if you are into identity politics or cancel culture or binary thinking, you are not part of the problem — you ARE the problem. and don’t take my word for it — it will simply stop working for you.

if you have not figured it out yet, the media has trained you to be divided — and therefore it can conquer you. the group think brainwashed into Hollywood and BY Hollywood is the greatest joke of all…and those folks are the last to know, how obvious it is. you might be asking who I think I am saying these things — well, I am a person who has worked with so many people, of all denominations, and had experiences many will never have INCLUDING first-hand knowledge and experience with EVERYTHING I write about, and this gives me not only that knowledge and experience but actual perspective. I was sharing with a friend just last night, how “it all works”. how in order to “break in” to entertainment, I was attemptedly trafficked multiple times and “offered” insane proposals that would have made me a big star. I could have done this decades ago, folks. I just went the other way. how does this tie into our current state of affairs? I’ll tell you: politics. economy. EVERYTHING. when you learn that the world is ACTUALLY run on sex rings and violations of the most unthinkable kind, and how that drives and satiates the desires for “power” of otherwise “important” men and women, and how that ties into Hollywood (i.e. media and ALL of entertainment) and banking, you start to…get it. you can call it a conspiracy all you want. I have lived it. so when I make a “maniac” post about questioning what the mainstream media or Hollywood “says”, know that it is coming from actual experience and critical thinking. since the majority of the planet is so censored and “protected” from the facts, all they can do is parrot what they are told. and I’ll be clear: if you knew the truth, you would never leave your house. that’s rather ironic, considering our current state of affairs…

moving over to corona. guys, there are so many things you are NOT seeing. did you know, also, that CBS actually used footage of an ITALIAN hospital, passing it off as a NYC hospital? probably not. their “mistake” correction (only after being caught) was not exactly mainstream. this, is what is called propaganda. these are the people you are trusting to inform you. what I am NOT saying, is that corona is a hoax. I am not saying that. corona is a virus, similar to the common flu, with a different mutation. period. and no, I don’t have all of the facts. but do you not question anything you are told? how about this. the other day, I called my family doctor’s office. I got an appointment immediately/next day. I went in. it was empty. EMPTY. I was offered a corona test, as I was told there were more than enough. more than enough. in an empty family medicine center. yet on the news, we see incredible (and some of it, fake! if we are in such a serious pandemic, why add fake footage???) despair. death. doomsday. the fact is, like the common flu, there are high risk groups. I don’t debate isolating. it’s important to do whatever it takes to contain things we do not fully understand or that can spread. I am one of the most sensitive people I know and I can not stand to see ANYONE suffer — but almost as much as that, I can not stand to see a lack of truth and information spread. and right now we are seeing a drama queen’s or untreated addict’s wet dream on the news. the irony is, people who thrive and live on drama and chaos and fear, LOVE this. they will say they don’t. they will say they are suffering and afraid. they will point to “the big bad man” who is President and cry about it. unfortunately, this pandemic was created especially for them — it is a dream come true for corrupt news, and for people with political agenda. it is not about the facts for most people. it is about the drama. and we wonder why this corona thing came along. it’s called an awakening. so, why not do a few things differently?

I realize that speaking the actual truth is very unpopular. I’ve “lost” a couple (literally only a couple, which is surprising and gives me hope) people whose lives were CHANGED working with me. people will do ANYTHING in order for their world to make sense; that includes denying truth, in order to make that world make sense. I’ve already suffered greatly for living in the truth, which is the origin of the hostile censorship and relentless desire for a specific enemy to take me down (they never will). but I won’t stop speaking the truth. my website can continue to be slowed by ISPs simply because I am on some hit list akin to a terrorist group. they can keep hiding and striking out my reviews and videos. but they can not hide me or the truth that I know, that I share for anyone on the actual cusp of wanting to wake up. if you think my work has been limited to helping a couple thousand people wake up and change their lives and transmute illnesses and have babies, then you are mistaken…my work goes much broader. and that is why I have stopped one-on-one sessions…so that I may regain my energy for equally but more broadly important initiatives.

I have three books coming. the first one, which is complete, will hopefully drop soon. I have had the incredible honor of working with several notable award winning authors and artists, who have been encouraging me and standing behind me for half a decade as far as my work and writing is concerned. it will be either with their help, or not, that I find the perfect publisher for my book(s). as soon as that is complete, the audio versions can be recorded and that includes my eBooklets and my blog as well. if you have noticed, my entire blog is many books waiting to happen. the next step is about TIMING. there is a reason that I have been waiting to focus on publishing, and there will be a reason that it happens at exactly the right time. five years ago, when I wrote my eBooklets, we were NOT ready as a collective to digest them. no one was writing about what I was writing about. I wrote about it, because I couldn’t find answers to themes I discuss anywhere. I still can’t. so, I live out insane experiences so that I can then write about them. I get it that they only resonate with a fraction of the human population…but those that they resonate with are the most amazing people I have ever met. they live on the edge of truth, freedom, and pioneering their respective fields. and I trust that group. I am seeing that at this particular moment in time, the mainstream population might actually digest the core themes in my eBooklets…and maybe later, my blog. and it doesn’t matter how much I am censored by big brother, they can’t stop me from publishing. unless, of course, they kill me. but even then, someone else can publish my work! sound dramatic? it’s not. again: I’ll tell my whole story (or someone else will) in good time. and that takes me to my TV Series.

my TV Series Great Awakening is literally metaphoric to what we are experiencing right now as a collective. it’s beautiful, even in all of its pain and despair. my first book, which is called “Great Awakening: a seer’s mini-guide to understanding the intangible planes of the human experience”, and is a conglomeration of my eBooklets 1-6, is the premise for the TV Series. I only want to work with people who are aligned with the truth. this may shock you, but this includes people of ALL denominations; for example, one of my directors is “left” or left of center. another team member is extremely far left. another team member has gone from left to dead center. I don’t know what I am, as I see truth on EVERY SIDE and in EVERY PERSON. other team members will be “right”. the irony is, everyone lives in their truth. all truths are valid. they just…are. and it is fascinating to see people present ideas and concepts without hating or arguing. why? because they are awake and THEY ARE NOT AFRAID OF THE TRUTH. when you are not afraid of the truth, you can have an opinion but not argue or force your opinion. this is what Great Awakening stands for. the truth does not need to convince you of anything, and the truth appeals to all people…whether they live in it or not, because the truth is a mirror! what they do with that mirror is secondary. get it?

at the moment I am rebuilding my energy because battling the intense evil directed at taking me down, combined with lending out my precious life force to others, is not sustainable. I will find and have found ways to combat both without fighting. the message was sent to me loudly, after being pursued by such intense evil (evil loves to take down both light, and bridges) that it made its way right into my practice. and God said “it’s time to stop. this is why I am torturing you by sending you maniac after maniac”. and so I listened. I listened after certain things inside of me broke that could only be fixed by stepping away and taking pieces of my soul back. and God said “it’s time to stop. this is why I am messing with your entire online identity on a daily basis. it is so that you can step away from it, dis-identify with it, and focus your attention to the next important place. don’t worry, all will be re-instated”. it is ironic that while the google algorithm has changed since corona (yes, facts), my censorship has ramped up. but I know what to do with that. and all parties involved will regret their actions one day. no one can escape the karma that is coming or them, and if they had enough light in them to believe or understand that, they would regret the day they stepped in my path to try and stop me. this is how karma works, and as my eBooklet 4 says, it IS indeed immediate.

be open to the facts, without feeling threatened that your “entire identity” will change just because you agree with new truth. one person who is an interesting example of this is a man named Brandon Straka. check him out. not because I agree with everything that he says, but because he is an amazing example of someone waking up and changing their mind about the “facts”. Brandon doesn’t live in a binary world that says, “because you are gay, you have to blah blah blah…” or “because you live in Brooklyn, you have to blah blah blah…”. for all that it is worth, he has decided who he is and what he believes, separately from society. and there are people, on all sides of the equation politically, who can actually do this. and I respect them. it doesn’t matter to me WHAT they believe, it matters to me what they are doing with what they believe and WHY. basically: their personal integrity. THIS relates to intention. but you can’t have intention without personal integrity. and, you can’t have personal integrity without knowing why you believe what you believe! I have hesitated to write about politics because honestly it falls outside of my personal focus, but I DO write about the truth which has had enough political references in it AND I have spoken the truth in my sessions and workshops that contain political reference and THAT has gotten me censored and attacked by a whole other aspect of the evil equation that has sought to take me down. the truth is so powerful, that people will do anything to silence it. and I mean ANYTHING. so, do what you like with that, but please consider that you don’t know what you don’t know. and the ONLY pathway forward is bridging all sides together. people like Brandon are doing that SIMPLY by considering and experiencing various, “other” and additional points of view. no one swings from left to right or right to left without actually living and doing personal, critical thinking. I have great respect for anyone who lives in personal truth and has made it their mission, instead of simply parroting what they hear on TV. it is my personal goal to bridge the most unlikely characters together, to come together, on issues like economy, environment, and media. and guess what? it won’t happen by me being a mainstream media PARROT. and yet, people attack that and “cancel” me…how ironic. if you have done this, you do not know me and you need to look in the mirror. I will live for being the bridge that I was born to be and I will work with and support all structures that can get us there. for example, if you see me wrapped in a MAGA flag one day, instead of judging me or thinking you know my thoughts on policies (I actually don’t have many! I do not know much about politics at all!), perhaps instead consider the bridge that is needed to lessen the divide. consider, perhaps, that there is truth in a place you find it least likely. consider that you do not know why certain things are happening, and that some of your worst fears are actually transferred or misplaced. not everything you see or hear means what YOU think or mean it to mean…

I have become increasingly disturbed by the divide, the hate, the unconscious bias, the hypocrisy and the ignorance of humanity as it exists without listening to all points of view. the above knows no political affiliation or identity. the above is human. and it is asleep. we are more than our identities and physical bodies. yet we act otherwise. I go to yoga classes and hear teachers with 1% of my life experience not teaching yoga, but telling me how to live. people are desperate to have their views of the world imposed upon others, for fear that if they do not, their internal worlds will fall apart. well, let your internal world fall apart. clearly, something right now, is not right. and you DON’T know what it is…

if you have stuck by me for years or since we have met, I appreciate you and I thank you. and if you have “canceled” me or turned on me, I appreciate you and I thank you. we are all just wherever we are, at any point in time. and, we are WHAT and who we are, on an intrinsic level, at any point in time. as I always say: people are created equal — energy is NOT. as I rise, I see what has been around me the entire time and I have a new lens for such. so do you. the goal is not dogmatic or opinionated, the goal is awareness. and awareness can only come from facing hard times and horrific disappointment. if you can do that, you will come out on the other side. instead of judging others (however ALWAYS discern others!! please, there is a difference — learn it), turn the camera back on yourself. if your life is not working, what are you fighting against? I learned that, although there were and are forces I could not and can not fully control, I had choices. I was afraid that during the last three years, I had made mistakes; I had turned down press that would have made me “insta-famous” – I thought to myself, “did I make a mistake? did I self-sabotage? by saying no?”…after going through censorship etc, I learned that no, I did not make a mistake. the way that I knew this was 1) I followed my GUT in moments of “opportunity” to the fullest and 2) I NOW see what the last three years has meant for me and why. I am not a person to sell out for anything (obviously). and I know the risks and rewards that come with that. personal virtue (not virtue signaling!) is ALL we ever have. the old world is crumbling. those who have whored their souls and bodies to another force will pay the price. we always do. the virtue within us is all we have, and often, it is not too late for redemption if we are willing to be honest and ask for it. people are forgiving when we admit how wrong we have been. if you feel this way, go and admit it. get on your knees, ask for forgiveness, and change your life. you may be surprised to know how many people will be there to allow that burden to be lifted off of you. after all, it is not what we GET out of being honest, rather it is the lift of the burden off of our soul that is the outcome. we may still be left alone, but at least without burden. something to consider.

as I step back from having my energetic internet accessible to the world, I find pieces of myself coming back to me. this will allow me to continue to write freely, but also and simultaneously be much more private in a way that I have never been in the past. I am used to giving away EVERY piece of me, so that others can benefit. what started as a pure survival tool as a baby and child and young adult then adult, and what was also a sheer gift, I now want for myself. I want to witness one — some — any of the miracles I’ve witnessed others realize through my work with them. I have to learn that my gifts are also for ME. and I notice, as a consequence of stepping back, whose lives have been propped up 100% by my life force instead of their own by doing their own work. it will be whatever it will be. some people built their actual identity off of me. off of my identity, my life force, our connection, or whatever. and I can FEEL it in the ethers, as I simply reclaim what is germane only to me, how someone will either scramble to “replace” me or “cancel” me. some people can’t simply change gears, they need to instead conjur unjustified anger to deal with separation. this is emotional immaturity, and it’s ok. we have all been there, somehow, at some point in time. but my point is that I notice so much. doing the “wrong” thing — either by assuming someone else’s energy, or stealing, or doing something we know goes against our soul — may feel “good” for a time…but just like black magic, the curse wears off. and when it does, it is you against the world. it is you facing the mirror. we are each best and better served to look at that mirror, and know it’s all we got. it’s all we ever had. the hard part is, most people don’t know who they are. but that’s another article entirely. you get my point.

it is my wish that everyone, at this time, find themselves. use this unique time, not to holler at the news or who you THINK is responsible for your unhappiness and discontent, to look in the mirror. to get quiet. turn off the flocking TV and your little fake instagram that is TOTALLY censored to feed you lies and things that make you feel angry and inferior (I don’t know how people do it — scrolling around all day, looking at other people’s “lives”….aren’t you TIRED from that? you should be.). take inventory on your life and consider what matters. who are you helping? do you volunteer, like, for ANYTHING in life? why not? why are you so self-focused? what is your point for living or breathing? who can you help simply because it feels good to do so, without agenda? learn to be grateful for this first class country we actually live in. there is a reason everyone wants to come here, despite promoting hating it at the same time. what are those reasons? what are your reasons for being here? what are your potentials and opportunities? what can you create RIGHT NOW? great and amazing things are born from the worst times, the hardest times. I am a prime example of that. my entire life has been a shit show of hard times, and unendurable back luck and misfortune. but I know it’s not by accident, and that I have two choices; I can kill myself, or I can fight to THRIVE. since I won’t kill myself, I am left with one option only. extremes leave you with either death or passion. and while I admit that I barely had the energy to continue breathing these last three years, I knew that I would not die. and so I am stuck here. just like you. and I have had to thank my lucky stars for all of the simple things that I have, and the rare gifts that I have that we EACH have if only we DARE to look. looking takes courage. courage requires vulnerability. vulnerability requires honesty. honesty requires faith in believing in something that we can not see but that we put blind trust in, hoping that it will all work out because we are each imperfectly perfect.

stop waiting for this time to be “over”. do what you can, to empower (versus dis-empower) yourself and / or others. it can be a simple step, like sleeping more. or eating better. or hydrating. it can be as simple as that. no one is expecting us to save the world, and after all, we can not do anything actually meaningful unless and until we improve our own self first. start small. give yourself a break. but most of all, learn to think for yourself. it will change your world, and the world around you.

if you are reading this, and particularly if we have worked together, I hope you remember who you know I am. on the most core soul level. we connected for a reason. stay open.

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plagiarism and impersonation of my work and protocol…the phenomenon

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Alejandro Padron

folks. this feels like a petty post, but it has to be written.

when I started my company, I had to change my name three times. THREE. I chose a name and then yet another name and then yet another name that no one else had (of course I researched this extensively). I never imagined that anyone would not want to be exactly who they are (I still did not understand, at that time, why many people do not have identities of their own), and so I didn’t expect the copycat bandwagon to arrive. it did! in spades. after I settled into a third name “Healing Elaine®” (I have seen now, other Healing ___’s out there, but at this point I am not changing my trademarked brand as it is too established) I noticed another phenomenon — my actual words, structure, and way of working aka “protocol” (come on guys) was being replicated.

it started initially with patients of mine who were seeking identity. this was in the early days of my work. I would help them, and let’s say they were professional editors (oh, the irony). they would leave my office, and months later, pop up with a HEALING practice (these were not people who ever mentioned the slightest interest in “healing” or helping others, by the way). but not just that — they would copy/paste my actual words! as their own. I was just…mind blown. this was the start of what I began to realize is a long-running human sickness. it is something I saw growing up as a young person, and I wrote a blog post about it a few years ago — it is called Hostile Envy. basically, the premise is that someone gets close to you (in those days it was in person, not online!) and then suddenly 180s and “doesn’t like you” anymore. this is basically an example of an individual without identity, trying to claim yours, and splitting off a piece of themselves as “anger” which is disguised as “you’re not a nice person, I don’t like you anymore!” IN ORDER TO BECOME YOU. this happened to me constantly as a child. and, now it happens constantly as an adult! you can’t make this stuff up.

as my business moved along (and I’ve written about various examples of copycat syndrome in other posts, and people I helped unbelievably who then had to “distance” themselves from me — because, they either wanted to become me or parrot me or compete with me), I noticed people I once knew personally regurgitating my teachings; but not only that…grasping at straws for my patients’ attention and connecting with them. I literally had a $35 dollar psychic who had NO platform or social media when I met them, completely inspire their business after me. including a name change. including subject matter that was not even on their radar prior to meeting me. and to boot, after I promoted them and sent dozens and dozens of referrals their way, they bad-mouthed me to my own clients! it was like the 7th grade allllllll over again. but it didn’t start or end there.

I referred a patient of mine to a “best-selling author” a number of years back. I figured, hey, this author is successful so what could be bad about sending them business? well, looking back, I’m not so sure this author even wrote their own book. they had hired a ghostwriter, and somehow commissioned a well-known author and speaker to write their foreward. basically, you can do ALMOST anything with enough money — because enough people can be easily bought. sadly, most people can be easily bought. anyhow, the patient I sent to them took a class they were teaching. this person let the author know that I sent them. the author pretended to not know who I am, but I knew that they did. do you know, that within a month, this author had completely replicated my format!? down to the exact hour count. down to the explaining of the process, yet they were careful enough not to totally plagiarize my words (unlike people I am currently shocked at). now, WHY would a “best-selling author” need to do this? it’s a phenomenon that I write about, and one that I just LOVE talking about in therapy. because, of course, my therapist is not one of these people. rather, he is probably THE most achieved person in neuroscience and psychology and psychiatry who exists in today’s world, but it’s HIS WORK. he is a powerhouse. and, he’s quiet about it and doesn’t need attention. he just does his work. and, we talk about this phenomenon and why it happens to ME, constantly. the phenomenon as well that you say to someone, “sorry, you can’t merge with me” and suddenly you are hated/bad/mean/wrong/etc. watch what happens when people who are currently ripping me off are confronted, because they have no identity of their own…I will suddenly become a “bad” person, because I have reflected back their void. it’s truly unbelievable how it all works.

after the “best-selling author” incident, it just kept happening. people who I invested hours and hours of pro-bono work in, helping them to build companies of their own and fostering their gifts that they had never even considered, would either ghost or find a reason to “not like me”. I realized, “it’s happening again…”…I realized that in order for these copycats to exist, I could not exist. or else, their world would not make sense.

I don’t want to embarrass anyone, but it’s been happening again. it doesn’t hurt, because I don’t know these recent people personally. they have followed my accounts on and off (because, you know, transference; on / off / on / off — it’s a psychological disorder), watched every story like an addict, and then…become a version of me. I have been sent examples of accounts/people doing this, and I have observed accounts doing this. most recently, someone trying to “make it” in NYC has parroted my ENTIRE protocol. they also did the thing where, they follow a bunch of people, then then unfollow everyone. just like my accounts follow 0. well, frankly, my accounts follow 0 because I am SO sensitive, that I am afraid of NOT following someone and hurting their feelings! my work is so deep and personal with people, that I just don’t want to risk hurting some impressionable young person (or, anyone for that matter). I also just do NOT feel a pull to look at other people’s lives. honestly, I just…don’t. and finally, it was a way to stop the bizarre TROLLING of who people thought I was friends with / connected to. no thank you.

so, there is this individual now (depending upon their psychological state, it could really excite them that I am writing about this — people will do anything to be “seen”), parroting my “protocol”. verbatim. mandating prerequisites – my prerequisite book mandate. COME ON, folks, really? not only that, what’s more disturbing than copycatting my actual process (down to their specified “phone calls only”, and “due to high demand” reasoning — again, you can’t make this stuff up) is their “reasoning”; it’s reasoning that arose from my core. MY core. it’s not only bizarre, but totally unnatural. and, it is how people energetically “move in”, to other people. by trying to…become them. this is more than surface stuff, it is energy vampire stuff.

this stuff doesn’t end in middle school, guys. and, it’s disturbing and it SHOULD be noted as disturbing (as well as illegal — I pay very good money, monthly, to ward against plagiarism and YES I will address all of the above legally) because it is a total invasion of privacy. this model of behavior is the reason serial killers kill: they have zero identity, and so they absorb that of others…until, their mind can not handle the fact that the person they are robbing essence-wise and life-force wise STILL EXISTS. well let me tell you something: I exist. and there will never be two of us.

the work that I do, lets people know that they are ENOUGH all on their own. I foster individuality and gifts. I am fortunate to predominantly attract amazing people (and I’ve obviously gotten better at it over time) through my work who have enough “SELF” to make lots of lemonade with it. it is so ironic to me that I also attract the polar opposite; and, if you are not careful, and you too attract this and don’t recognize it, you will be left feeling depleted and then-some…assuming you are a sensitive person.

stalkers, impersonators, copycats, plagiarists, addicts and sociopaths are all in the same family; and what I write about above, is REALLY no different. it just depends upon the degree to which it occurs. I know that typically, the best response to these things is NO response; I actually only confronted ONE person ever, with regard to the above, and that is because they are not crazy. typically, people just want attention, and so they do this, hoping you will notice, and then once you engage it is like their CRACK. and, they go into denial, blame, projection, etc etc etc. it is someone’s ultimate fantasy to be confronted by an otherwise successful person — it validates to them that they exist. my “PROTOCOL”, however, is a legal consideration. I won’t tolerate plagiarism, not of my concepts and not of my words. if someone wants to read my blog on speed and regurgitate it on a podcast (this happens, too!), and pass it off as their own, FINE. go ahead. you can’t fake being who you are, and anyone who buys into it is also living at a level of un-truth. so, go for it. pretend to live my experiences. but if you are mimicking my words in copy, you will be pursued. don’t try it. also, I won’t contact you directly — my legal team will. so, you will not get the buzz you are looking for because I won’t be part of the equation. this is as much energy as you’ll get from me.

the epidemic of lack of self, is huge. it happens at the “highest” levels in society, too! many people spend a LIFETIME becoming OTHER PEOPLE. as I always say: humans are created equal, but energy is not™. this is legit. you must discern who / what you are dealing with! what we see is not what we get. people who pretend to be other people are simply really good at never being themselves — because who they are is dark. the only way to transmute dark is to look in a mirror — and those who parrot, copycat, mimic and over-identify with others will NEVER look in the mirror. so, it’s important to just…stay away from them. the same way I am suggesting that anyone with an ounce of sanity stay away from duplicating what I offer to the world. if you are sane, if you are talented, then JUST BE YOU. you are plenty. you are only you. there is only one of you. you are unique. DARE to find your talents, because they are endless. it is not TALENT that blesses a person, but the COURAGE to identify and AWAKEN that talent!

don’t plagiarize me.

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everything that you are doing and going through now is preparing you for where you want to be

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

“you’re scattered”; “you need to choose one vocation”; “pick a focus”…I used to hear these things ALL OF THE TIME. in my 20s. except, I knew deep within me something that THEY did not know: I was building my multi-faceted future and the road to MY destiny, by…being multi-faceted and living MY life, MY way. this is how it should be. we should each find out, who WE are, not who THEY tell us to be.

when I was 18 months, I climbed up a ladder on the side of my house and launched myself over the top onto the roof. I also used to hurl myself over my crib bars to escape it. so, perhaps it’s in my soul’s blood to venture out like a Maverick. but, you don’t have to be a so-called Maverick or pioneer-type to understand that EVERYTHING you are doing and going through now is preparing you for where you want (when I say want, I speak to the AUTHENTIC you on a deep and honest psychological and spiritual level) to be.

I used to hit 2-4 year periods of “ceiling”. meaning, I would focus on something for a period of time, get bored, and move on to the next thing. this never meant that I was abandoning those things/skills/experiences that I got “bored” with and moved on from — in fact, it was quite the opposite – I was filing my experiences and interests into a folder that would later be part of the book of my life. however, each time I was “done” with something (it might have been a job, or a relationship, or an interest), I would hear the riot act from many people around me. people who didn’t understand. people who were jealous of my tenacity. people who both didn’t understand AND were jealous. and so, in order to KEEP MOVING and hearing myself, I had to do one thing and one thing only: abandon ego. I had to be willing to be criticized, and stand in the face of it and feel the shame or guilt or whatever emotions came up each time I was told by people/society/whomever that I was “wrong”, for being who I was/am.

when we abandon ego, we grow. ego holds us back. it wants to and, in fact, needs to so that we may “survive”, according to the timelessness of the ego which doesn’t know whether we are 9 years old or 40 years old because the ego doesn’t work in a linear fashion. so each time I hit the skids, seemingly, and so to speak, in my life, I had to abandon ego. and it felt like a death each time. and each time I did it, I held true to knowing that all of my mini-deaths were part of a much larger focus –and that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I knew that the flash-in-a-pan successes of “famous” or “successful” people were usually just that: flashes. I never desired something temporary, because I am not an addict in terms of short-term highs. I prefer the long, solid, unflappable highs — which really aren’t highs at all. and in this way, in this part of my life, I am the opposite of an addict. the way I see it, life, the meaning of it, we are all destined to move as FAR AWAY from addict behavior (in any and all categories of our life!) as possible, and that is the meaning of life.

the fact is, we are all multi-faceted. when we are constricted, we suffer (notably, physically). when we don’t listen to our own SELF, we suffer. we do this because we care what other people think. I wrote a whole article about that here. you should stop caring, as much as possible, about what other people have to say about YOUR life. and when you do, EVERYTHING that you have been doing — the “mistakes”, the “disappointments” that you have “suffered” because you “did it wrong” — will reveal themselves to you to be the very THREAD of your soul, being woven to show you your bigger picture. for example…

my first job (I won’t count babysitting from the time I was 10 on – ) at age 15 was working at an ice cream parlor. my second, of many hospitality jobs to come, was working as a hostess and waitress. I also worked at a snack bar flipping burgers. I did every kind of hospitality job there was, for many years, and as well in between “real” jobs. what is a real job anyway? going to a place to promote someone else’s dream and make them successful? sure. ALL “jobs” are really equal — and most people don’t know why they are doing them or who they are doing them for — unless they are doing the job for THEMSELVES. when you can do a job (ANY job) for yourself, you are living in integrity and actually able to GIVE something back to society. because you care about the xyz thing or job. but back to my first job. one might say, “what does hospitality have to do with anything else you have done? wasn’t that a waste of time?” – to which I would say no. I would also say that working in corporate finance was not a waste of time. nor was selling overnight shipping to C-Suites (only). why were these things not a waste of time?: they factor into EVERYTHING that I do today. while working in hospitality, I had to get to know all different kinds of people and statuses and understand how they responded to their own needs. while working in a corporate environment in finance, I had to learn how part of the WORLD worked – I had big accounts poached from me by my actual BOSSES, and I saw the seedy, competitive, shrewd side of business and masculine energy at play…and I noted how many of these masculine energies were jealous of me because I had that similar masculine energy but I was wearing a skirt, or whatever. I had to learn while selling overnight shipping, exactly how to gage the intonation of a voice over the phone and what that meant when I had only 15 seconds to pitch a top executive (C-Suites only! company rule!) and get them to meet with me face-to-face. I had to understand why the ONLY person to EVER approach for anything in life, is the end decision maker. because no one else CARES. no one. all of these things that I learned, developed my understanding of people in the real world, not the “psychic” world. and I needed, very much, the tangible and intangible understandings that resided in my heart and mind to blend so that I could successfully understand and help other people. helping people has forever been my goal – desire – purpose.

the thing is, though, I doubted myself at times. I worried that maybe I WAS what I heard other people say to me, about me; maybe I was scattered, maybe I was lost, and maybe I was (gasp)…non-committal. but, I knew better deep inside and I would keep going anyhow. yet the doubt hurt and it slowed me down longer than I wish I had been slowed down. this article is in large part about that — the doubt that comes in, when you are just being who you are. and the thing is, it is healthy to doubt because we can re-assess where we are and how to do it better. but, it’s not necessary to linger for longer than that healthy purpose. and people who live in fear, who are afraid to pursue their dreams, will make you doubt yourself. you can’t listen. and, it can be hard to know what is doubt and what is reality

the way to know the difference between doubt and reality is one way and I said it earlier: check your ego. who are you doing things for, and why? who are you appeasing? who are you trying to fit in for? if you can answer those questions, AND still go your own way, you can temporarily kill your ego and keep it in check. doubt is healthy and it washes over us as a feeling. reality — that we are actually doing something wrong — is when we are doing something strictly for outside praise, OR when we really DON’T feel like committing to anything and so we change jobs or interests at the drop of a hat in order to avoid ourselves. again, the key ingredient to know the difference is your ego death. if you are willing to go through the range of feelings that accompany an ego death and face them head on, it is likely that you are just in doubt. if you are not willing to go through the above, then there may be a reality to your doubt that has to do with your unconscious mind and patterns and not a healthy ego death. THAT notion is an entirely different article, BUT, if you are self-aware you can switch gears and then it is all the same anyhow…you are working toward everything that you were designed to be, once you surrender.

when I jumped away from corporate, I really had a death. I felt like a loser. I felt like I pissed away a 5-star education and my degrees. this is in part because I was “listening” to society by observing those around me. the people who just did their jobs, met their spouses at a happy hour, and moved to NJ to have kids. now, if I’m being really honest with myself, I WISH I could have that life. it would be so much more level (stable?) than the one my soul chose. there have been many, many times I have asked God to please let me just live a normal life. but I know what I’m made of – and I can’t change how I am made. and so I watched many of my friends go the conventional path while I wondered if there was something wrong with me, and if I was royally messing up my life. and, simultaneously to all of that concern I had, ironically and paradoxically, I ALSO DID NOT CARE. because I could hear my soul. not caring does not take away doubt and worry, though. and, as I say over and over again, there is never EVER any “better” path for any one person. if your destiny is to have an amazing family and work at the DMW your entire life then THAT IS A LIFE AND A DESTINY and a VALUABLE ONE – because the only part of living that ever matters is our ALIGNMENT (when thoughts = feelings = words = actions!). but aligned people know that. I know folks who work very “menial” jobs and they are SO HAPPY. because they are in alignment, and they get it that there is no such thing as “more important purpose” as it relates to one person or the next and their “outer world success”. all things are relative, and the only important thing is whether we are aligned or not. truly.

so in the above example, jumping from corporate, I felt like I was in no-man’s land probably for about a month. looking back, that is a REALLY brief time as compared to other jumps and subsequent dark periods I had, when honoring my path. and, like the other times during which I “jumped”, I wondered and worried if anything I had done in the past would relate to my future or if it was all just a waste. well: nothing was a waste.

in between film and tv jobs I worked MANY other jobs. and during that period of my life, the tv and film days, I also mistakenly thought “ok, this is it, this is my identity, I must focus ONLY on this now”…which was so not true. because we are never our job or our outer-world identity. and like all of the other times when I was either “forced” to jump, or my reality was ripped away from me, so then was my focused period of time on tv and film. and this is because I “HAD” to publicly set up Healing Elaine® and see that to fruition and “completion”. again, I felt scared, that one thing had entirely nothing to do with the next, and my now-4 careers absolutely would not blend. it is also important to note, that again, that feeling was just my ego. or I never would have kept facing it then jumping. and so I moved through that awful feeling of giving birth to myself (again) and dealt with the same push-back I always had from others who told me “I thought you were an actress, though?”. sure, I was an actress. I was also a hamburger-flipper. and a waitress. and an account executive. and…a person. I just chose to surrender to all that I was inside, because THAT was my calling. again, I didn’t consciously want to be made “this” way. but we are how and who we are, and it is all for a REASON…and it doesn’t matter what the path “looks” like. I then realized that YES OF COURSE, my career in corporate AND my career in tv and film in front of and behind the camera OBVIOUSLY line up with everything I did with Healing Elaine®! because without HE™, I would have no message. and without a message, all of my work with corporate and tv and film would mean…nothing to me as far as my bigger purpose was concerned.

I’ve mentioned that The Alchemist is my favorite book. it’s a lot of people’s favorite book, probably. and it is a genius book that I read in 2005 and again this year (and wrote a little instagram post about) — at which point it took on an entirely new meaning. and the point of the book is similar to the long-winded point I am making here: everything that you desire, from the perspective of integrity and ego death and learning, is preparing you for what you will become/already are. who you are is timeless, and it doesn’t matter WHAT that looks like on the surface. we never know God’s exact strategy in a timeline form, and it is not up to us to decipher. exerting that kind of control and demand onto the Universe is not the best way to go, and that is why so many people suffer. I’ve suffered in this way, during my transitions between one “career” and the next. and when I look back on EVERYTHING that I have done, it is ALL CONNECTED. had I listened to what anyone else had to say about my path, I wouldn’t be here. I would be stuck. and so it was worth all of the horrible feelings I had to contend with during my “leaps”. during the times that close friends, best friends, even, shamed me for my choices because they didn’t understand. the times that no one would support me or lend a hand because they said I was “irresponsible”. all of the horrible parts of my transitions were worth it. and so are yours…

you may be thinking “Elaine, I’ve been at the same job for 20 years, I can’t relate to anything you are saying”…well, sure you can. think about the last 20 years. time is IRRELEVANT here. what IS relevant, is where it has lead you. it has lead you somewhere. perhaps that somewhere is a conclusion. perhaps it is the understanding that you are very content and therefore exactly where your soul wants you to be. and if you are not happy, it has lead you to understanding that, so that you may LEAP and ONLY THEN understand the last 20 years of your life! it is really all simple, and perfect. and the point is, you can’t get it wrong!

make an outline of your life. all of the choices, jobs, and relationships. write them down. connect the earlier parts to the present tense parts, and then imagine that all of that is leading to something that you can not yet see, because you didn’t yet leap in some way (unconsciously). leaping does not have to mean leaving a job or making a tangible change. leaping can simply be a state of mind, a willingness to admit ego defeat, or something else within the confines of your mind. that leap, which is a surrender and realization, maps out your next steps. how magnificent is that? and if you are honest with yourself, you will understand it all. if you are not honest with yourself, you will remain confused. honesty or lack thereof produces karma. there is no way around that. and in either case, we are exactly where we are destined to be. let go of guilt.

I think of the deep, isolating feelings of personal death around my “identity” and how long some of those periods lasted. I wrote an article about these periods here — it’s long and worth a read. if you are confused about what “it” is, that is your long-winded transition, I also wrote about destiny and stagnation here. I imagine that all of us have (these) periods, during which we self-question. and what I want to share and convey is the fact that you can’t get “it” wrong. stop comparing your life to anyone else’s. NONE OF IT MATTERS. you probably would NEVER trade the relative facts anyhow, to be in “someone else’s shoes”! understanding that there is no external choice you can make that will alter your reality is important – it always has to be contended with on the inner level, and thoroughly, first, to count. if you are in your 20s and you wonder “what you are doing”, know that if you honor yourself, it remains to be seen. if you are in your 60s and you wonder “what have I done”, know that if you honor yourself now, it remains to be revealed and you will have peace. you can’t make a wrong decision in life, no matter what your life has looked life. yesterday already happened, and tomorrow doesn’t exist. really think about that concept.

find a way to work with both your inner and outer realities, and find common ground between the two. everything that you are doing (outer) and going through (inner) now is preparing you for where you want to be, whether you are 20 or 80.

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