endings and beginnings: Healing Elaine’s general updates
photo by Weimin Wang
as my last post regarding fertility indicates, things are evolving. I have held off on expanding (which includes changing my format) for a few reasons. for one, I don’t want to disappoint those who have been reading my materials and following me for a long time with the hopes of having a session. that said, I am still only one person. I won’t get to everyone no matter what I do. in addition, much of what I do prior to and during and after a session is a massive sacrifice of my own life/energy. I don’t have “office hours” really, and despite advice from clinical colleagues, my sessions are just not the types that are suited for a structure. I have gone as long as I possibly can in the above fashion, while scaling a business at the same time.
however regarding structure…it has been brought to my attention more times than I can count, by people I truly admire, that I should truly consider speaking engagements and really further coming out of the closet. with this, there will be an imminent structure put in place: my book(s), the first of which will come out next year, and all of my concepts and theories (trademarked) flushed out in a way that translates to mainstream. this is quite the feat, since I am presenting new information — not regurgitated versions of someone ELSE’S stuff — and looking for the most fluid way to communicate such to large numbers of diverse (energetically) individuals. but it will happen. and there needs to be a structure in place from the outside in, directly opposing that of my one-on-ones. and with over one thousand sessions under my belt, the structure has been born on its own, without my logical mind plotting anything. but rather from the CORE of an individual. times one-thousand plus. to me, this is the definition of organic healing — that which comes not from the mind, but rather the experience. knowledge is nothing without the experience. anyone can read a book or get up on a platform and talk about a book.
I am now in an active restructure — my one-on-ones as they have been, will very soon be no longer. I will do some more specific group work centered around intimate subjects (i.e. fertility). and I will prepare for something I have never, ever wanted to do. and I mean it. it is: public speaking and large workshops. if you have read my other blog posts, you will see what a hard time I had coming out of the “spiritual” closet. my life was literally shut down years ago, because something wanted me in my purpose. I was very afraid to use my photo or my name. I wanted to be anonymous and help people from a place of relative anonymity. I was embarrassed of my seemingly “weird” or uncommon experiences with “other” — the spiritual. I was embarrassed for the “spiritual” community and the people in it due to my own experiences with them/and the number of freaks I met who were “healers” etc (don’t get me started). it was a major point of conflict for me, but nothing could stop the inevitable. I was twisted and turned and pulled into doing what I am doing, and at the core of it is the only thing I have ever been able to experience true joy from: helping others. but doing it in this new suggested above format…truly my last thought on earth. if I really wanted to be rich or famous, I would have stayed in finance when I had a major ground floor opportunity over 10 years ago (which I turned down to wait tables), or signed an acting contract or actually pursued entertainment (if you didn’t already know, it’s not hard to get famous).
I have some INCREDIBLE individuals who have stepped forward to grow with me now. people who can actually help ME. in ways that I can not help myself. legally, logistically, and otherwise. I have needed this kind of support for a very long time. up until not too long ago, my only experiences were helping others and getting screwed by nearly everyone I asked to help me. it was a long path of initiation to say the least. I hope it’s over, and I guess we shall see. and as I move forward now, I see what once looked like big giants at the gate — those who wanted to hurt me, obsess over me or talk poorly and falsely about me — as the tiniest ants. my fear of others is gone, and that has a lot to do with my ability to move in a direction that I never predicted (though many others did, more on that in a moment). my greatest fear of expanding into some kind of empire has been the fear that I will be somehow “let down” or hurt because someone I hire to do their job is inept. I’ve been afraid of making money because I feared I would end up like artists who went bankrupt because they had the wrong people working for them. and believe me, I’ve already had my share of those experiences even at this stage. I have never had the kind of human protection I deserved or, at the very least, needed in this life. so there has been a lot of work for me around seeing through a new lens, but scrubbing the karma of the old lens handed to me. I will have to trust, even when my mind can’t process the concept of trust completely. because the reality for me right now, is that I am being pushed again by a force nearly equal to the one that forced me into doing this work publicly in the first place. if I do not listen, I will be pushed in a super uncomfortable way and I know better than to not listen.
this brings me to those who have predicted things that I did not want to hear. numerous intuitives have told me for years that not only was I a healer but that I would be doing big events with very large numbers of people. not only did I give side eye each time I heard it because public speaking is a major fear of mine, but I just wasn’t interested in the stigma that comes with preaching (or something like preaching). I preferred to communicate artistically (acting) via exchanging energy, or privately one-on-one in my sessions. but I didn’t realize that what I am stepping into now is an even better extension of all of that. I’m still processing it, too. had I not been communicated with by the Universe or the powers that be, in a way that I can’t articulate here, I would simply continue my sessions as they are. but this is something I can not ignore. and I hate that, because I have no control over it. it destroys all kinds of logical beliefs I have about myself and who I am and how I want to be seen and how I want to hide and be left alone. I go back and look at written tarot readings or intuitive readings and marvel at the key words and phrases in them — it all points to my present tense reality. I suppose another blog post will arise on the difference between karma and destiny and everything in between (or maybe I will save it for the book so that my words are not misused or regurgitated).
I haven’t dropped some kind of axe yet on “that was my last general session”, but this update is to say that things are actively changing. I am contracting to expand again, and for those interested in what I have to say, I hope this expansion supports that interest if it does/did not happen in the context of a one-on-one.
when I look at the past number of years, I have truly met every kind of creature out there. they have fascinated me in the form of angels, sociopaths, and everything in between. every shape, size and color. they haven’t always seen how I see them, or that I do see them, but I do – and clearly – and I have drawn heavily from my experiences with them. those experiences have enriched what I have to offer in the future. and the only survivable energy is truth. very few live in it on our planet, like the unconscious mannequins that we are, running around, but we are all being forced there whether we like it or not. take a look around and imagine what is actually happening. if we refuse to make adjustments from our core (not someone else’s!), we will remain in a living hell – that is a guarantee.
plans are in motion. mini-empires of goodness have been built as a byproduct of my work with incredible people who used their sessions with me to step into their power on this planet. it’s like an empire of the most authentic people I could ever imagine meeting. the spiderweb of a movement is hovering as it all lights up.
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