what happens when you have to give birth to yourself — again.

if you had asked me 7 years ago if I would ever be facing the amount of change again that I was back then in my life, I would have probably said no way. right now, it is the only way — to give birth to what is next, I must inevitably give birth to myself again…which means moving, stopping certain work, and taking a leap of faith with new partnerships. this means my entire world changes, again.

here is the point of this post: change does not come on the heels of ease and pleasure; it comes on the heels of “oh my gosh, do I REALLY have to do xyz!? why does it have to be so hard again (aka why can’t this be simple and not take too much effort?)”. and so I must focus on the fact that although stressful and immediate, I can either choose the new door that remains in front of me or be DRAGGED to it. and we all know when we will be dragged to it, because we have not made the necessary leaps of faith…

change comes on the heels of fear of the unknown — even POSITIVE unknown. once upon a time, Oprah gave a homeless man tons of money, a job, a new wardrobe, and an apartment to turn his life around. one year later, he was right back on the street, in the same situation. this is because the ego was not familiar with this new life, and it craved the old life. even if he craved the new life. the chemicals in our bodies are stronger than our desires. so when our desires are strong, we have to fight the chemicals in the body that say “no, you have to stay in the same algorithm!”. we have to hear those chemicals (showing up as ego, which is only trying to “protect” us by repeating what we know) and say “ok I value you, I value what you are trying to do, but I will take the path of the unknown and risk perceived imminent death”. we might also feel simultaneously excited, but there will no doubt be fear involved in ANYTHING that is good for us because what is good for us is growth.

when it is time to give birth to ourselves, or when change seeks us (because we first sought it! — be careful what you wish for), there is no way to slow down the time or drag it out. if we drag it out, we get dragged. there will ALWAYS be a huge leap of faith involved in giving birth to ourselves, because we are forced into a stream of flow. we can not stop that baby from coming out. in this regard, we do not control the speed and timing at which we must take action. for example, we must have someone there to catch the baby when s/he comes out. because s/he is coming out. in this same way, when we give birth to ourselves, we don’t necessarily have time to think about things. or to overthink them. or to plan for them. we just…do. we use instinct alone, and we allow logic to fill in the blanks at a later time. I realize this is not common or “safe” language for most people. but this is how the best things in the world are built. as someone so astutely said in one of my Healing Elaine® Movement videos, “the real science is the intuition comes behind the real science“.

for the past week, I seemed to be building (mentally, astrally, and physically) to a brand new point of expansion. metaphorically it feels like I am popping a baby out. I know that certain choices need to be made now, or never. this is reminiscent of other past changes I made, that I never thought I would have to make again. but I have learned. and I will not shy away from the discomfort that comes from the pushes and pains that come from getting this baby out and into the world. it is supposed to feel this way! I am supposed to look at my inner world, and now more especially my outer world, as a brand new place and feel confident knowing that this is new life force. the inner has been prepping this outer world expansion for years now. although it can feel shocking to us because of the tangible changes that occur when we give birth to ourselves (again!), just like the first time it happened to us, it is important to note all of the marinating that has already been done on the intangible planes. we just could not see it in the way that we are seeing it now.

there is no one birth or rebirth aka expansion in our life that takes place; there can be multiple. I feel quite satisfied that I made it through the first and second times around. I think we are blessed if we can even make it through one and keep going. and now I am ready for more.