photo by Jennifer Santaniello
we don’t need a negative event to occur in order to clean house on ourselves or “uncord”. plenty of happy, healthy, fulfilled and balanced individuals practice uncording on a regular basis, including happily married or partnered significant others!
the whole point of an uncording is simply to know what is yours, and what is not. that’s all. and when we can see what is intrinsic to us and only us, it is from that vantage point that we may become greater versions of ourselves. then, we can re-open ourselves to the world until we again feel the urge, need, or even just regular practice to uncord.
so what are cords? I’ve written about them for years. many other people write about them. cords are like electrical wires connecting one human to the next. we may have them with literally ANYONE. we are energy embodying physical human containers. within those containers are holes or access points, also known as chakras. depending upon INFINITE factors (like psychology, karma, personal history and so on), our chakras absorb certain energy. and at different speeds. if we have particular emotional wounds that we can not clarify in our mind, we will likely attract the same match of energy to certain chakras on repeat until we “wake up”. I won’t describe the ins and outs of cording in this post (I do it in plenty of others). but I will talk about why and how and when to do a personal clearing.
there are many reasons we might want to clean house. for me, it is something I have to do CONSTANTLY in order to 1) attract the right work (CRUCIAL FOR ME) 2) perform the best work 3) dislodge karma that DOES NOT BELONG TO ME from my body, mind and spirit 4) know exactly what is mine, so that I can be the best version of myself and work on myself.
I absorb, very quickly, lessons and dark spots from others. I just do. something in my energy field either fills in the blanks for people, or it reflects directly back to them their dark spots. the latter is quite interesting in terms of the polarized responses I get from people. people have described my energy field as “filling in the blanks” for others, or filling in their holes. I imagine a stained glass church window that has been shattered on a sunny day. when we fill in the holes for others with our light, we make a trade. sometimes it’s not a good trade. sometimes it’s a karmic trade. often we have no idea what we are doing in the first place.
if we want to know what is ours, truly, what our core is, free from codependency with partners parents friends and even children, we uncord. many of us are too afraid to do this. because we are intrinsically codependent. we don’t know how to survive a day without talking to someone who fills in blank spaces for us. or we do, but we don’t want to. because we are spiritually and emotionally lazy. and so we have a rolodex of people who fill in blank spaces for us and we keep them on rotation. at the center of this rolodex is fear. some of us never want to know what truly exists in our core. we are afraid of our core, our truth. our shadow. do you know what your shadow is? we all have a shadow. shadows are scary. this fear keeps us trapped in an infinite unconscious cycle, and it will ultimately destroy us if we can never find our own food or fuel whilst shutting off the electrical currents aka cords that extend into the ethers and exchange ALL KINDS OF THINGS with other beings.
everyone we are close to, and the 5 people closest to them in any way, become us. it is unavoidable. I don’t want that, no matter WHO these people are. I don’t even care if I like them. I don’t want or need to have random energy stuck in me all of the time. and since it is unavoidable to take it on, I have to uncord to at least know what is NOT mine. I do this routinely. my closest friends or former patients “get it” and don’t freak out or ask me what is wrong. because they are generally healthy. if someone panics and freaks out on you during an uncording, it is a sign to leave that relationship behind completely. it means that that person was eating you up all day and night, whether they knew it or not.
I also uncord when things are not “right” in my life. if I hit the skids, or a low point somehow, I immediately detach from anyone and everyone. this is the healthy move to make, so that I might see the source of my condition. it may be inherent to a cycle my soul is in. or, it may be inherent to negative energy I am inviting in by proxy of someone around me and someone close to them. either way, these are both opportune reasons and times to uncord. without knowing what belongs to me, as a unique soul (though yes we are all connected, we do NOT all share the same karma! therefore knowing what is OURS is CRUCIAL), I can never move forward in life. without daring to know at all times what belongs to me, I remain like a broken record on repeat unconsciously moving through life. with no feet on the ground.
last night I spoke with a former patient who is uncording in general. it seems to be a theme as of late for many people who have reached out to me. and it is a current theme for me. right now, I am generally off the grid. I don’t want anyone’s thoughts, feelings or actions interfering with my life. I can’t afford it at the moment and I need to continue focusing to know what is what and where it comes from. this uncording I am doing may last a short time, or it may continue for months as it has for me many times. during my busiest times of work, I didn’t socialize for many months at a stretch. to some, that may sound unhealthy. but that is because they will never understand the scope of my work and couldn’t possibly. my work is my life, but my personal core is obviously my…life.
when I consciously decide to uncord, I do a few things. first, I stop having phone conversations. I stop meeting anyone in person. I avoid texting, like the plague. I keep all of my communications to the barest minimum possible — unless they are serving part of my uncording initiative. if you can’t imagine going a day or week without talking to people you rely upon daily or weekly, you may want to examine your 1) codependency issues or 2) core self. who are you, really? a tree, or a leaf, blowing in the wind, toward whatever comes your way?
the next thing I do when I clean house is take a couple of baths per day with pink salt. I’ll hold and wear ionizing stones that contain elements of the periodic table. since I live primarily in NYC, this is sometimes the closest I can get to nature. I will turn off music and distracting stimuli. I’ll take walks without music. I’ll work out more often maybe. I will pay extra attention to what I do listen to, or watch. what is the nature of my desire or draw to xyz thing?
I will sleep more than usual. when we sleep, our unconscious mind has time to process things that our conscious mind either won’t, or is too afraid to process. I’ll give myself this extra buffer in preparation so that I am not reacting to something but rather being proactive about what I want to receive. I will pray and meditate more than usual. I will ask for guidance as clearly as possible, and wait for it as patiently (a challenge of mine) as possible.
I will burn anything that feels ionizing. I imagine debris falling off of me when I do it. I will light a candle of intent, which is really just similar to prayer and asking for “higher self” guidance. there are many different physical traditions for “personal clearing” depending upon our culture, exposure, and belief system. do what feels right for you. you don’t need to purchase a clearing kit on amazon. make your own. and, above all, no potion or lotion can do the kind of work that your OWN core — body, mind and spirit — can do for you.
I will do all of the above until I feel clear. no matter what. if we have friends or acquaintances who can not handle the above and we need to do the above, then “losing” the relationship should be a risk that we are willing to take. when we uncord, everything that positively matches our “new” clean energy WILL return upon divine timing. for example. I have worked with couples (very rarely) who simply wanted to uncord from one another (and everything in their lives) in order to build a better relationship. there was no fear or codependency around uncording. this is a healthy relationship. after they uncorded, they found a stronger relationship in queue. this is inspiration for all relationships. whatever “falls away” or “falls away with drama” during an uncording is meant to fall away. if we are afraid about what others might think or do, then perhaps we should re-evaluate those exact relationships in the first place. fear is about control. we hold onto our fear to control others, actually. and when we attract controlling people, it is because we are actually controlling people ourselves.
if you are willing to see what is underneath, away from all of the noise and perhaps experiences that do not even belong to you yet you are hosting, you might be pleasantly surprised. depending upon HOW we are made (I am talking about our intangible fabric), we will actually absorb karma or dark spots for others without either one of us knowing. it is so important to know what is ours and not ours, so that we may progress in life. who and what could we be without the karmic experiences of our best friend, partner, child, or co-worker? probably more than we realize. because after we shake off what is not ours, only then do we have the ability to do the inner work that our soul is calling for. so that we may also then AUTHENTICALLY own what we have in our life. our career, our calling, our partnership, our whatever.
uncording is one of the greatest tools for personal growth and it is one of the greatest opportunities for personal happiness. especially with access to technology, it is very hard to be with just our SELF. and this is why people go in circles in life, never moving forward. they are in a constant addiction. to people, places, ideas, and things. get out there and try a day — or a week — or a month — or more, of uncording. whether you have a “reason” to, or not. with the upcoming full moon this week, I can’t think of a better reason to uncord and manifest.