the only reason anyone would ever try to hurt you is because they feel powerless
it took me a while to realize and fully understand this. in some ways, this post corresponds to my blog post about why we are attacked. the only reason anyone would ever try to hurt or negatively impact another person is because they feel powerless. it can be a challenge to 1) recognize this and 2) understand it and feel compassion toward that person. we can recognize it once we fully realize that nothing in this world is personal. nothing and none of it. when we assign meaning to another person’s behavior, we are personalizing it in some way. when we make it about us, personally, we have lost a lot of energy. there is a difference, by the way, between NOT TOLERATING certain behavior and not making it personal. I am pro not making it personal, but that doesn’t mean it should be tolerated. when we begin to understand another person’s behavior that we would otherwise personalize, because we know who we are and what we represent, we are able to see their own bubble/story around them. we can see that they need our light (attention) in some way, because they are deficient. some people are happy being deficient, even though they would claim otherwise. I’m sure that at some points in my life I was deficient in certain ways, even though I claimed otherwise. a good example of this would be holding onto a romantic relationship that completely drained me yet I wouldn’t leave.
anyhow, back to understanding the mechanics of someone’s hurtful behavior toward us. here is a most recent example: in my regular yoga class, there are two rows – front and back. each row is staggered with stickers so that students can stagger their mats and both be able to see themselves (important for yoga and balancing) in the mirror. sometimes the classes are truly too full and catching a sliver of yourself in the mirror is barely possible, and you just muscle through it with exception. recently, I was one of the first to arrive and I placed my mat in an area that wouldn’t require me to move left or right, and was super accommodating to new people entering the class. with an entirely open front row, a young woman came in a lined her mat up directly in front of mine. this rarely happens in this yoga class, and if it does and someone is aware they have lined up directly blocking another person, they are quick to fix it (especially after the other person already set themeslves up). if I moved to the left, I would have been standing directly in front of the teacher and taking up two spots. then she lined up a mat to the right for her friend. at this point, if I moved to the right, I would again be taking up two spots due to where I was positioned. after she lined up her mat (directly in front of me, it couldn’t have been measured any better, in fact), I asked her if she would move it a few inches to the right. she gave me a snide response and asked me to move one way or another. I knew right away, energetically, that she needed a feeding. when this happens, I am aware of any, if at all, emotional response I might have. I can easily feel the unease of others and even when they are rude, I am normally able to develop compassion for them and totally diffuse their feelings of anger etc. in this case, there really was nowhere for me to move and it also became a completely full class. the woman in front of me, however, had ample space to work with and she was practicing alongside her friend. as soon as the class was about to start, she deliberately looked at her friend and smiled and moved her mat back directly in front of mine. it was an obvious baiting situation, since it would have been quite easy for me to look like a jerk, if I actually further asserted myself. we’ve all been there. while this was happening, I kept asking myself “ok, what is my test here? to see how I respond to her? to see how I feel? why did I invite this?”. then, she stood directly in front of me so that I could not see a sliver of myself. I was not even centered on my mat. I knew that no matter which way I went, she would purposely block me. and she did. gosh, she needed FUEL! the entire rest of the class, which lasted 90 minutes, she went out of her way to block me. there was no maybe about it. I can’t imagine the kind of energy she had to put out to do this. she went completely out of her way to be an asshole, instead of just focusing on her own self and her own class. because I am pretty mellow, neutral and kind (for the most part), I notice that people often horribly confuse my kindness with weakness. when they do this, I pray for them – because tampering with kindness can really knock someone down. if I willingly send a bad energy to someone, whether they have wronged me or not, I had better look out (read my last post on karma) — the laws of karma and reciprocity do not sit well with that kind of intent. I was able to completely (with some effort) zone out and focus on my class, as I noticed her completely obsessed with my energy. but WHY was she obsessed with it? because she couldn’t make me bleed. she couldn’t make me mad. my blood would mean her food. her internal lacking, of whatever variety it was lacking, was so strong that she could no longer feed herself from the inside out. her own self-hatred, of some variety, was so loud that she had to search outside of herself to get her angry needs met. but, I didn’t supply her with food. I saw her for the angry and deficient being that she was at that time (I am not suggesting she is or will be that for life or in all cases, though this was quite an exceptional case I must say), and I felt compassion toward the fact that she didn’t have enough love to not act on such offense. she wasn’t even on the defense – she was on the offense because I literally gave her no fuel. sometimes no fuel calms people down. not in this case. it was a red hot one!
throughout the class, during which I was nearly forced to focus on HER since I could not see anything else, I was presented with the opportunity as to how to FEEL about her. I could have chosen complete anger. I could have chosen to take it personally. instead, I chose to have compassion for it, but NOT ALLOW IT. I pictured the back of her head and her body as stained glass. I accepted the fact that I could not see the outline of my body, because every time I moved she moved to block me. I accepted it and suddenly began THANKING it. I was able to remove myself from the situation, from her, from what it “meant” about me personally that this was happening, and I was grateful for the challenge. in the past, it would have disempowered me. instead, I felt more empowered than ever. in the past, I might have actually not only felt bad for her, but wanted to GIVE her my energy to help her through the class even though she was so nasty to me. this time, I focused ONLY on my energy. this did take some work, because the nature of the situation was frankly just so obnoxious. I saw that as I was able to zone out and make her and her attempts completely invisible, I not only didn’t have to feel her disempowerment but I felt completely protected. I noticed that nothing she did could any longer connect with a belief/inner contract I had about being a victim — hence, there was no food/fuel/blood to shed. what began to happen was interesting, but not unfamiliar to me as a great number of people have tried to mess with me in a similar regard throughout my entire life – and it never works in their favor: she began to get weak. now, I know she is a strong girl and a regular practitioner, so seeing her fall out of postures and lose steam was interesting. I had to refocus every time this happened, because every time I focused on her I could feel her desperate for food/fuel/blood/energy. for her, the only kind of energy she was able to survive on was NEGATIVE energy. this is why it is SO crucial to not fall into the trap of sending hate to someone who is trying to bring you down. the exchanged hate or low vibrational feelings are like a fine feast for them – it matches exactly where they are at during those moments, and it feeds them. not everyone can eat a fine meal like this, but some people can and will go to great lengths for either part of all of their lives to do so. all humans are equal, all energies are not.
finally, nothing and no one can touch us unless we somehow agree to what they are doing or saying. it must match us in some way. for those curious about “psychic attacks”, well yes, people do attempt to do such. but a “psychic attack” can only succeed if the intended party is in alignment and agreement with the intention of the attacker. Teal Swan has a good video on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wB4h7LptqAc
the biggest thing I want to express here is that NO ONE can disempower you. there will be those who will try. especially if you reflect something back to them that they either feel they can not have, do not understand how to access, or do not understand period. don’t be their food. eventually, if they go hungry, they will have to hunt for their own food — which often comes in the form of an unpleasant spiritual awakening (or something else).