here is how the butterfly effect of abuse finally cycles out, with one last death grip

all energy is connected. think of a spider web. it is all one piece, but it appears to take many different shapes and designs. it is like an entire Universe, woven in infinite directions at different times. but it is all…one.

before I get deep into the meat and potatoes of this post, let me preface it like this. many times upon a time, I’ve treated patients who come from extreme abuse. it has always started in the family, and then extended out (like a web) to other directions in their lives. often, if the abuse is either repressed (via amnesia, the brain’s defense mechanism – and no, you can’t be “smart enough” to beat amnesia as it serves to save our lives) or only occurred one or two serious times, the person will still be in contact with their abusers with various intellectual justifications. then, they will go about their life, their work, their whatever, and wonder why the same patterns keep coming up. this is part one of recognizing the butterfly effect of abuse — recognizing that something is wrong, that life keeps repeating a specific cycle around an abusive theme. it will show up primarily in intimate relationships, but then in work, social, and other areas — particularly health. I am not suggesting that all who have health issues are abused or have been abused. I am stating that when we are, and it goes unaddressed, it shows up in our health. when I have treated these cases, the first thing that I will see and feel before I even meet them or know anything about them whether I want to know or not, is the root. it invades my mind, my body, and my entire being. everything surrounding that person and their experience will enter my body. this is not something I try to do, train for, and it’s certainly nothing I have consciously asked for. upon meeting the individual, at some point they will share with me their “current” outer world issue. and it is ALWAYS, without fail, connected to the spore that showed up for me prior to meeting them. this is when we start to fill in the blanks…

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