this past weekend was a true pleasure. I got to see a few faces I have not seen in ages — along with their personal expansion, success, and now next-chapter mountains containing new questions.
I can not stress enough how dear to my heart my former patients are. you/they are unique, caring, ambitious, sometimes scared, and always determined. Unicorns who are working toward aligning with personal integrity every step of the way — which no doubt has a powerful place in the outer world. you/they are warriors whom I respect and whom I feel honored to share space with in this life.
we have a couple more weeks left of this Venus Retrograde, which is apparently wonderful for connecting and working with with past clients/patients. the reason that I did the initial pop up this past weekend is because of the sudden large number of reach-outs I received from former patients, hence the connection I made to this Venus Retrograde. the reach-outs are still happening, and we will seize this Venus Retro energy together.
thank you, to all of you who have been part of this collective journey thus far. you are, simply put, Mavericks. this journey via Healing Elaine® is unlike anything I have ever seen before. and we have just scratched the surface.
as I type this post, Don Henley’s “In A New York Minute” has just come on. if you don’t already know, I tend to channel-write whilst listening to particular hit decade channels on spotify. and if you don’t know this song, read the lyrics. it sums up a lot, much pertaining to this post.
as I look back on my life, and as I’ve elaborated on in my eBooklet1, I have had a series of dark nights of the soul. the majority of my early years on this planet were a dark night no doubt. like one, long, and grey memory, it was marked with my wailing for God to please rescue me. I know that sounds depressing. and it was. much of my life I spent trapped in all ways – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. as I hid in tight places in the home I grew up in, or in the basement of the church I went to, I would pray to disappear. I would hold my breath so much that I would get dizzy. though I was never suicidal, I would have done ANYTHING to escape my reality. I wasn’t designed to be mentally ill, for better or for worse, so I did not become schizophrenic or dissociative. I believe 100% that this was so I could do the work I am doing now, in a particular way.
we don’t need a negative event to occur in order to clean house on ourselves or “uncord”. plenty of happy, healthy, fulfilled and balanced individuals practice uncording on a regular basis, including happily married or partnered significant others!
the whole point of an uncording is simply to know what is yours, and what is not. that’s all. and when we can see what is intrinsic to us and only us, it is from that vantage point that we may become greater versions of ourselves. then, we can re-open ourselves to the world until we again feel the urge, need, or even just regular practice to uncord.
so what are cords? I’ve written about them for years. many other people write about them. cords are like electrical wires connecting one human to the next. we may have them with literally ANYONE. we are energy embodying physical human containers. within those containers are holes or access points, also known as chakras. depending upon INFINITE factors (like psychology, karma, personal history and so on), our chakras absorb certain energy. and at different speeds. if we have particular emotional wounds that we can not clarify in our mind, we will likely attract the same match of energy to certain chakras on repeat until we “wake up”. I won’t describe the ins and outs of cording in this post (I do it in plenty of others). but I will talk about why and how and when to do a personal clearing.
there are many reasons we might want to clean house. for me, it is something I have to do CONSTANTLY in order to 1) attract the right work (CRUCIAL FOR ME) 2) perform the best work 3) dislodge karma that DOES NOT BELONG TO ME from my body, mind and spirit 4) know exactly what is mine, so that I can be the best version of myself and work on myself.
I absorb, very quickly, lessons and dark spots from others. I just do. something in my energy field either fills in the blanks for people, or it reflects directly back to them their dark spots. the latter is quite interesting in terms of the polarized responses I get from people. people have described my energy field as “filling in the blanks” for others, or filling in their holes. I imagine a stained glass church window that has been shattered on a sunny day. when we fill in the holes for others with our light, we make a trade. sometimes it’s not a good trade. sometimes it’s a karmic trade. often we have no idea what we are doing in the first place.
if we want to know what is ours, truly, what our core is, free from codependency with partners parents friends and even children, we uncord. many of us are too afraid to do this. because we are intrinsically codependent. we don’t know how to survive a day without talking to someone who fills in blank spaces for us. or we do, but we don’t want to. because we are spiritually and emotionally lazy. and so we have a rolodex of people who fill in blank spaces for us and we keep them on rotation. at the center of this rolodex is fear. some of us never want to know what truly exists in our core. we are afraid of our core, our truth. our shadow. do you know what your shadow is? we all have a shadow. shadows are scary. this fear keeps us trapped in an infinite unconscious cycle, and it will ultimately destroy us if we can never find our own food or fuel whilst shutting off the electrical currents aka cords that extend into the ethers and exchange ALL KINDS OF THINGS with other beings.
everyone we are close to, and the 5 people closest to them in any way, become us. it is unavoidable. I don’t want that, no matter WHO these people are. I don’t even care if I like them. I don’t want or need to have random energy stuck in me all of the time. and since it is unavoidable to take it on, I have to uncord to at least know what is NOT mine. I do this routinely. my closest friends or former patients “get it” and don’t freak out or ask me what is wrong. because they are generally healthy. if someone panics and freaks out on you during an uncording, it is a sign to leave that relationship behind completely. it means that that person was eating you up all day and night, whether they knew it or not.
I also uncord when things are not “right” in my life. if I hit the skids, or a low point somehow, I immediately detach from anyone and everyone. this is the healthy move to make, so that I might see the source of my condition. it may be inherent to a cycle my soul is in. or, it may be inherent to negative energy I am inviting in by proxy of someone around me and someone close to them. either way, these are both opportune reasons and times to uncord. without knowing what belongs to me, as a unique soul (though yes we are all connected, we do NOT all share the same karma! therefore knowing what is OURS is CRUCIAL), I can never move forward in life. without daring to know at all times what belongs to me, I remain like a broken record on repeat unconsciously moving through life. with no feet on the ground.
last night I spoke with a former patient who is uncording in general. it seems to be a theme as of late for many people who have reached out to me. and it is a current theme for me. right now, I am generally off the grid. I don’t want anyone’s thoughts, feelings or actions interfering with my life. I can’t afford it at the moment and I need to continue focusing to know what is what and where it comes from. this uncording I am doing may last a short time, or it may continue for months as it has for me many times. during my busiest times of work, I didn’t socialize for many months at a stretch. to some, that may sound unhealthy. but that is because they will never understand the scope of my work and couldn’t possibly. my work is my life, but my personal core is obviously my…life.
when I consciously decide to uncord, I do a few things. first, I stop having phone conversations. I stop meeting anyone in person. I avoid texting, like the plague. I keep all of my communications to the barest minimum possible — unless they are serving part of my uncording initiative. if you can’t imagine going a day or week without talking to people you rely upon daily or weekly, you may want to examine your 1) codependency issues or 2) core self. who are you, really? a tree, or a leaf, blowing in the wind, toward whatever comes your way?
the next thing I do when I clean house is take a couple of baths per day with pink salt. I’ll hold and wear ionizing stones that contain elements of the periodic table. since I live primarily in NYC, this is sometimes the closest I can get to nature. I will turn off music and distracting stimuli. I’ll take walks without music. I’ll work out more often maybe. I will pay extra attention to what I do listen to, or watch. what is the nature of my desire or draw to xyz thing?
I will sleep more than usual. when we sleep, our unconscious mind has time to process things that our conscious mind either won’t, or is too afraid to process. I’ll give myself this extra buffer in preparation so that I am not reacting to something but rather being proactive about what I want to receive. I will pray and meditate more than usual. I will ask for guidance as clearly as possible, and wait for it as patiently (a challenge of mine) as possible.
I will burn anything that feels ionizing. I imagine debris falling off of me when I do it. I will light a candle of intent, which is really just similar to prayer and asking for “higher self” guidance. there are many different physical traditions for “personal clearing” depending upon our culture, exposure, and belief system. do what feels right for you. you don’t need to purchase a clearing kit on amazon. make your own. and, above all, no potion or lotion can do the kind of work that your OWN core — body, mind and spirit — can do for you.
I will do all of the above until I feel clear. no matter what. if we have friends or acquaintances who can not handle the above and we need to do the above, then “losing” the relationship should be a risk that we are willing to take. when we uncord, everything that positively matches our “new” clean energy WILL return upon divine timing. for example. I have worked with couples (very rarely) who simply wanted to uncord from one another (and everything in their lives) in order to build a better relationship. there was no fear or codependency around uncording. this is a healthy relationship. after they uncorded, they found a stronger relationship in queue. this is inspiration for all relationships. whatever “falls away” or “falls away with drama” during an uncording is meant to fall away. if we are afraid about what others might think or do, then perhaps we should re-evaluate those exact relationships in the first place. fear is about control. we hold onto our fear to control others, actually. and when we attract controlling people, it is because we are actually controlling people ourselves.
if you are willing to see what is underneath, away from all of the noise and perhaps experiences that do not even belong to you yet you are hosting, you might be pleasantly surprised. depending upon HOW we are made (I am talking about our intangible fabric), we will actually absorb karma or dark spots for others without either one of us knowing. it is so important to know what is ours and not ours, so that we may progress in life. who and what could we be without the karmic experiences of our best friend, partner, child, or co-worker? probably more than we realize. because after we shake off what is not ours, only then do we have the ability to do the inner work that our soul is calling for. so that we may also then AUTHENTICALLY own what we have in our life. our career, our calling, our partnership, our whatever.
uncording is one of the greatest tools for personal growth and it is one of the greatest opportunities for personal happiness. especially with access to technology, it is very hard to be with just our SELF. and this is why people go in circles in life, never moving forward. they are in a constant addiction. to people, places, ideas, and things. get out there and try a day — or a week — or a month — or more, of uncording. whether you have a “reason” to, or not. with the upcoming full moon this week, I can’t think of a better reason to uncord and manifest.
as far back as I can remember, I sensed energies. I did not know I was sensing energies. when I was 3, I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. when I put my tiny hand on my bedroom door knob to turn it, another hand placed itself over mine. I jumped back into bed and peed myself.
when I was old enough to be left home alone, I heard people in the house. I called 911 many times when I was left alone. there was never anyone there, but I was sure that someone was breaking and entering. they never did, at least not while I was there. I didn’t believe in ghosts, I wasn’t raised on ghosts, and I didn’t know anyone who did believe in ghosts. I dismissed my senses and decided to trust myself a bit less. there were plenty of other reasons I did not trust myself, either, but sensing people in the house who were not there was prominently on that list. and yet, I kept reacting to the noises, the feeling, the cold, the knowing — I continued calling the police well into my teens, because I heard someone in the house.
when I started to become super social in my mid teens around 15 in particular, my “awareness” died down. I had also become more astute at shutting down, because it was too scary to be in my body for a host of other, very real, physical and psychological reasons. so, after a certain point, I didn’t really think about my sensing of people who ended up not…being there.
by my late teens, I didn’t know anyone who had died. when my paternal grandfather died when I was 21, it was the first person who I had known in the flesh. as he was dying, I somehow knew about karma and closure, and I decided to write him a note of closure as he ended his life. I didn’t know him very well and barely saw him. yet I felt it was important to help him through to “the other side”. one year later, I was visiting my grandma, his widow. she and I always had a special connection. the first memory I have of her is when I was 3 or 4. we were walking up the stairs to go to a swimming pool and I turned around, looked at her, and said “I like you”. she said to me “I like you too”. we shared a special connection and still do — living, dead, and anywhere in between. though neither she nor my grandfather was religious, she and I shared a special human and psychic connection. that will never die. so when her husband died, I was curious about if/how/when he would “show up” and visit us. mind you, I had never seen (to my knowledge!) a ghost, and I didn’t expect to be visited by him or anyone else. one night, about a year after his death, I was staying the night at their house in Florida. I have always had trouble sleeping — for reasons I am very aware of. mostly traumatic reasons. my experience with sleep involved, over and over again as a child, waking to pure trauma and horrific fear of a variety of instances. therefore, my ability to 1) fall asleep 2) stay asleep 3) not be afraid of going to sleep was weak. anyhow, I was staying in the room that he died in one night. in the bed that he died in. which I didn’t connect to at the time. as I rifled through the medicine cabinet in his bathroom, I found percocets that were prescribed to him to ease his pain as he was dying. let me be clear: I have never had an addiction to anything. I have never relied on substances. I consider myself extremely fortunate to be able to pick up any substance and put it right down when my mind decides I do not need it. while I have other challenges, substances is not one of them. and yet as we know, substance issues mimic other issues generated by the mind, so my compassion and understanding has repeatedly connected to those who have or have had substance issues and addiction. I digress with that side note, but I want to paint the fullest picture possible. like most nights of my life, I had no idea whether I would be able to fall or stay asleep — so when there was something overtly available to take to aid me in the process, I would take it (I never purchased or was prescribed sleep prescriptions or drugs in my teens or 20s). the percocets were available and not only that, clearly no one was using them anymore. my grandma still hadn’t had the heart to clean out his bathroom (they had separate bathrooms and bedrooms). I took one percocet to sleep, and put another one in my pocket “for the road”. I left the rest in the bottle. I put the bottle back and felt guilty about it, even though he was dead. I went to sleep peacefully because of the extreme high I got from the medication…
in the middle of the night, I was awoken suddenly. as I looked directly in front of me, where there was no headboard, a face began taking shape — like a tv screen coming into focus. my grandfather’s face formed before my eyes, and I was frozen. his hands went into prayer in front of his face, and I was in shock. I pinched my own arm as hard as I could to prove to myself in the morning that this was not a dream. I prayed and prayed to fall asleep and held my breath (a skill I tried to master as child with the covers pulled up tightly around my body and face when I was afraid) and I finally did. in the morning, I put the pill that I had taken back in his pill bottle and I apologized to him. I felt guilty. in retrospect, I realize I was coming up on increasingly challenging years in my life, and he knew it — he was never a man of prayer, blatantly did not believe in God or religion, and yet there he was. praying for me. clear as day.
this was the first experience that I had with a “ghost”. I say “ghost” because it was after that, that I realized how palpable his intention was for me. I could feel, telepathically, that he was afraid for my safety in general. I was definitely a fly-by-the-seat girl at the time, and I never thought about the consequences of my actions. I traveled solo, often didn’t know my next move, stayed out late and drank a lot, and insisted on being only in the present tense at all times. I unwittingly put myself in dangerous situations often. I never knew they were dangerous. I was too accustomed to the feeling. and I had a thirst to understand the world.
after my experience with my late grandfather, I did not have another one like it with him or anyone else for a long time. however actually, I did not understand that I was indeed having them ALL of the time — with energy. as you will read about in my other posts, energy is INFINITE. it transcends physical form, and takes many forms of consciousness (as well as light and dark — and intangible darkness often seeks tangible containers at all costs — this is another subject entirely). positive consciousness is hindered in physical form, and it raises beyond physical form. then, when we work on ourselves as human beings, we can access it. this is the bridge that we create and experience between 3d and 5d. that is also another post, though.
in my mid and late 20s, I became acutely interested in my own spirituality and personal consciousness. I went to alanon meetings, read tons of self help books (since a child, actually), therapist hopped (what a disappointing scene in general), and did anything I could to hear my own voice. one day, after I let go of a stagnant relationship which almost lead to marriage, I simply asked my “spirit guides” to please show themselves. I was detached from the outcome. but as I asked them aloud to show themselves, an entire veil of mist or, it can be best described as heat coming off of the pavement on a hot day, manifested in front of me. it was about 5 feet tall and I couldn’t believe it. I also couldn’t believe that “it” showed up on demand. to be sure I wasn’t crazy, I looked at my cat who was on the other side of this energy — his eyes were huge and he was scanning it up and down. the feeling that took over me when this energy/guide showed up was pure love. there is no other way to put it. I felt…like I would never feel alone again. I felt safe and guided. this was a pivotal point for me. unconditional love touched my heart in that moment and it was the first time I felt anything like it.
as I developed my understanding of many things unseen, in my late 20s, I began to realize that the people I “imagined” breaking into my house or walking around it when I was a child were…real. they just were not in physical form. I felt them all of the time. I also saw rather uncouth energies at the home of another family member every single time I stayed there. the only word I can use to describe those energies is: evil. I hated staying there. I had nightmares each time, visions of the “devil”, and general feelings of darkness. it didn’t make sense to me until way later as to…why. the energy behind the scenes supported everything I felt. this is when I realized that NOTHING goes unnoticed in life. we just lie to ourselves to feel safe.
my next experience with the unseen and the death of a person I knew was with a grandmother (not the widow). as I sat by my window in my east village apartment, I was suddenly overcome with nausea. it felt disgusting, and I tasted medication. I barely made it 10 feet to my bed and curled myself up into the fetal position. I don’t know for how long I napped, but I was awoken to the sounds of sobs of despair and mourning. it was so loud, I thought my neighbors were wailing with tears. my body felt so sick, as if something was passing through it. and I just knew instantly: my grandmother who had cancer had just died. I had no way of knowing this for fact, other than my experience. when I went over to my cell phone, there was a message waiting for me indicating that yes indeed, she died. it was then, that I began to learn that I was and am used as a gatekeeper. fast forward, and this began happening for me with patients who were about to lose parents or loved ones or even acquaintances. for whatever reason, my physical field was used as a gate to some other…place.
as noted, growing up I never believed in ghosts and if you told me in college that I was a gatekeeper or that something like a gatekeeper was real, I would have run away from you. I can’t stress this enough, because I am not a naturally woo-woo person. this is what makes everything that much more valid for me; I have never sought out my experiences. they have taken over me, though. and now I am perfectly fine with this (most of the time! except for when I feel someone elses emotions so strongly that I can not shake them — hence my session work and protocol).
after I saw my grandfather those years ago, I really did not want to see another “ghost” so clearly. I understood that yes, energy is infinite and timeless, and I even understood how the human ego leaves us when we die, but I still wasn’t comfortable or welcoming to that which I could not…control. but after I was used as some kind of gate or portal not only for those dying and changing form, and then for thousands of sessions, I sort of…got used to it. one day I woke up in my bedroom and saw a man from the 1980s in a blue and white track suit. he was Italian. I saw that he was busy..doing stuff. counting money, I think. he shared my living space — it’s just that we were in different dimensions. he was not aware of me — he was purely going about his business. I was aware of him. and as I began to study him, he…evaporated.
another morning I woke up and saw an old man and a little girl — his granddaughter, I think. they were dressed in 1920s clothing. he looked at me as if he knew I was occupying his space, and they disappeared into another dimension completely. I felt…safe and not alone, ironically. I no longer felt the crippling fear that I felt as a child. I will also note that there were so many other difficult things happening during that early time in my life, that it would have been very hard to decipher what was real since I was conditioned to not believe ANYTHING that I knew to be true, one way or another. thankfully, over time and with courage and effort, we can recover memories and our own sense of judgement, as well as, well, TRUTH…
now, to the reason I am writing this post. we all know someone who has died. most of us have loved ones who have died. and we miss them terribly. and we wonder “where they are”. some of us never wonder, because we feel them all of the time. and this is what I want to say…you may have heard or read or experienced that the essence of a person who once “was”, never leaves. and this is partly true. what DOES leave, is their ego. and this is when karma in a family dynamic can REALLY kick up — because there is no physical container blocking, unwittingly holding or defending, or otherwise countering truth. there is truth in all relationships, whether they are friendships or family or acquaintanceships. when someone dies, all of the ego aspects of them are what leave. we are then left with their intangible resonance and consciousness, aka…truth. unthwarted and unblocked from human conditions: control, manipulation, greed, etc.
often when someone dies we see family “battles” over petty shit like money. people actually spend time trying to go against wishes of deceased loved ones, or get more than their share, or even worse, still try to control the person from beyond their grave. the interesting thing about these battles is that since the ego of the person of focus is gone, the truth often envelopes everyone around them in a crazy way. this is why many people go nuts over wills, assets, and so forth. even when the wishes of a deceased person are crystal clear. emotions like control and fear and greed take over, and the people who were close to the deceased person seem to…lose it. they lose it, because there is no longer a container for all of the emotions they repressed while the now-deceased person was alive. when this space is no longer there to contain the ugly human emotions of others, from many years or timelines, we are left with: truth.
last week someone told me an interesting story about a will. and I am making a point here regarding how powerful the intention and truth of a person who has left this tangible plane and now resides solely in consciousness, versus unconsciousness, which was not a possible residence while they were in physical form, is. a wicked old lady who I actually randomly knew via one degree of separation, lost her mother. while the mother was alive, this wicked lady did everything she could to convince her sick and dying mother to change her will. the wicked lady had one sister. the sister was not wicked. the mother, alive in physical form, was still in ego, and confused by the wicked nature of the wicked old lady (her daughter). well, one day this wicked lady was caught doing something not above board with money. upon a coinciding death of her mother right around that same time, it was as if karma was nearly in physical form and laughing: somehow, it worked out that the wicked lady’s sister — the one who was not wicked — received ALL of the inheritance. not part of it. but all of it. my guess is as good as yours, but when I heard this story first-hand by the person who was there to witness all of this, it was as if the new conscious awareness of the deceased mother now in intangible form took over and met with the karma of her wicked daughter. I am skipping out on some details here, but this story was one for the books when I heard it a couple of weeks ago. and, I was not surprised…which brings me to my next point about the physical death of a person, and their effect upon us afterward.
when we leave tangible form (ego), we…see. I won’t go into soul or oversoul purpose and specifically what happens for the sake of keeping this post on topic, but I will say that any one of us who leaves our body is able to see all that ever was and is across time and space: truth. truth resonates in the higher dimensions, and those are the intangible dimensions. period. some of us, whilst still in human form, can access those dimensions. depending upon how much self-work we have done. aka how honest we can be with ourselves. not everyone wants to access truth, which is best reached beyond the confines of the human linear mind (ego). and so they struggle dearly.
part of this post is about bringing peace of mind to anyone who feels stressed, abandoned or dumbfounded by a sudden, not sudden, or otherwise death of a loved one, friend or acquaintance. part of my intention to express some peace for others is describing my experience and knowing with the unseen. if perhaps you connect to that, or can feel the resonance through my writing, well, maybe that is a start. another part of my intention to express some peace for others is to explain how truth hits the fan when people die. again, think of it like this: all of the control, lies, or otherwise disappointing human qualities in those around the person who dies will be revealed. almost immediately. for some of us, this can be a wonderful and healing event. for others of us, we see things that we never wanted to see, or were hoping were not true. either way, the veil is now gone. if you believe in truth rising, there can surely be peace around the death of a loved one as for better or worse, it can provide much closure on a variety of levels. finally, I want to share this…
I recently lost someone who I loved very much. we had a most special connection. we had a language in which to communicate, telepathically, for when she died. I never really knew for certain if this language would “show up” for me when she decided to go, but I was hopeful. before she died, she appeared in a series of dreams this year. I cried so hard DURING the dreams that I would awaken with salty dried tears all over my face. I couldn’t believe it: I was already mourning her! I felt like she was giving me the biggest gift already. she spoke to me directly in the dreams. she said goodbye. she also said goodbye while she was still alive. she made me aware of her terms of death and what she wanted for me. the circumstances surrounding her death were unfortunate, mostly due to the ego and control of those around her. but there is nothing that can ever, ever interfere with our connection. this is true for all relationships, whether they are friendships or family or otherwise — what is true, is true, and it transcends time and space and everything in it that is not true. as I mourned her in my dream states, I wondered when I would feel her leave. and then one day I just knew when she did. she showed up in my bedroom in a timeline of her youth. she was graceful, beautiful, and strong. her essence is something I remembered from years ago. it was not an essence of the present, but her consciousness was more present than ever.
at the time she left her physical body, the most incredible synchronicity happened for me. a terrible grip that someone had upon me energetically (namely connected to the theft of my domains and more) became unraveled. I discovered, in the most amazing way, the cause and location of exactly an issue I dealt with for over a year. it was as if she spelled out for me how to unblock this massive interference in my life, in a language that I did not even speak. I was shown “accidental” evidence and Freudian slips that I believe are a strong byproduct of her freeing up the physical space in the tangible realm that contained many lies and controlling behaviors. as soon as she transitioned, it was as if I was being helped in a way no one else could help me. not to mention the fact that although we were close, I felt and now feel closer to her than ever. I feel her support, friendship, and awareness of my truth more loudly than ever would have been possible while she was on this physical plane. it may sound weird to say, but we now have an opportunity for a closer relationship than ever. and I have a feeling that this is just the beginning.
sometimes and often when loved ones die, and we had a karmic agreement with them, it is easier for THEM to carry out their commitment to us AFTER they transcend their physical container. that is, if WE are able to connect to them from this realm to that realm. and what can we do? we can simply talk to them like they are right there. I know this may sound odd to anyone who has not experienced “other”. but I would suggest trying it. perhaps if anything I’ve said in the above examples resonates, the step can be made toward a connection between your dimension (physical) and that of whom you want to connect with (nonphysical). while it is safer for the mind to process such deep connections in a dream state, you may also notice with comfort that recently deceased loved ones will ramp up synchronicities and the truth to assist you in many ways. it is their way, also, of righting wrongs that occurred while they were in physical form and tied in with other physical beings who all have ego (our block to so much).
the physical death of a person, and their effect upon us afterward, can express itself in many different ways. the above ways are my experiences. if you had a difficult relationship with someone who then died, you may also find it easier to connect/forgive/”dialogue” with them while they are in intangible and subsequently ego-less form. if you want to. the message is that there is opportunity, even after physical closure with someone on this live human plane, to learn something new that you could not connect to on this plane because of aforementioned human roadblocks (ego). when there is no longer ego, aka a foggy lens, there can be even greater and deeper healing between you and your “loss” — regardless of how your closure took place on this plane. above all, be open to the truth, because their new plane of resonance has much to offer in the way of it that wouldn’t have been possible in our 3d reality.
here’s the first thing in prefacing this post. I do not come from woo-woo. I often have to see it to believe it, though, I have now seen so much that the latter part is in terms of necessity kind of off the table.
anyhow, it was over a decade ago after a series of life experiences I had, that I began to (seemingly innately) understand and research the physics of energy, time & space, and so forth. I never had a conscious knowing for sciences, nor did I have the desire to study them because I associated them with a box that has since been kind of broken and torn apart. I didn’t understand or accept how closely intertwined science and intuition are. now, I see that they are one. as someone brilliant in one of my Healing Elaine® Movement videos says, “the real science is the intuition that comes behind the science” — she is a C-Suite at one of the world’s largest technical companies, and she has a vast background in finance as well. she is linear. but…she understands what many do not, because until recently it was completely written off as woo-woo or crazy. “it” is the unseen. the intangible. and as I refer to it, the gas in the car. we don’t know, what we don’t know…and there is a lot in the “unseen” realms that we don’t know. because most of us can’t see them…yet.
if you have been keeping up with my instagram posts, you might be somewhat up-to-date as to my various statuses.
long story short: for 14 months beginning July 2017, I lost (was robbed) full control over my property and then-some. as the issues at hand finally began to become addressed, I invested time since this past August fully solving them. I won’t bore with further specific details, other than to say that my very last blog post (though cryptic as some or many of my posts may be or seem) sums up the entire experience. now, I am back. I have full control over my property. there are no more tangible leeches, bottom-feeders, or snake-oil sellers stealing from or tampering with my life’s work which has been put into this blog/site. it feels amazing to be back. to have MY life’s work back. if you have been following me for a while and even if you haven’t, you will notice that I am not some roadside or pop-up sudden trending “healer”. what I do has lived and burned inside of me since the day I was born. this is why it was not just important for me to recover my property, but rather it felt like life or death to me in terms of recovering it. because in essence it was. my work is my life, and my writing is my life. it is my purpose, and why I breathe. no matter what else I do, no matter how many children I have or what friendships or partnerships in my life last, THIS is my core before all else. so there’s that. a snippet of what my blog/IP/writing/business means to me.
now that I am back, I have a new life force. usually that is what happens when we are crushed for any period of time. to be clear: I woke up every single day for 14 months and could not solve the above issue. it was like watching someone walk into my house every single day, take whatever they want, eat my food, leave, and never be able to lock the door. this was another death of self, like I write about in my eBooklet(s), that I went through. and at the end of the day, I had to re-learn one thing: no one can take my essence. no one can take what my purpose for being is, represents and calls for. it reminds me of the many people who have attempted to take my knowledge or work, and replicate it for themselves (in their blogs, for their “healing practices” and so on) — it will never, ever work. what we own comes from our core. we can never borrow or steal someone else’s purpose. though many try. in both the tangible and intangible realms. which always amazes me. and yet it happens so often. and as it does, combined with the new life force that I have resurrected from within this past year-plus, I realize now more than ever that it is time to complete my first big book.
the truth is, I can be very unstructured. I like to learn on my own versus be taught or gleam from others. perhaps to a fault. I have called it “being authentic”, when perhaps it is also ironically and partially…lazy? it has been hard for me to get structured and take the human steps to finish my big book and get it published. I call it my “big book” because I have obviously written a ton (a dear friend and revered Pulitzer winner told me several years ago at this point that I have at least 3-6 books in my blog alone) and I have published my eBooklets 1-6. but those are not official books like I want on a bestseller list. the truth also is that I have procrastinated. I have felt an aversion to “processes”. human processes. I know that this holds me back. as someone once said to me, I am “fire” — and “fire” people abhor structure. this would be me, in many senses. yet, how long can I continue to wake up each day, focusing solely on helping others, without taking the steps I know I am called for to get this first big book done? the answer is, no longer. part of what happened with having my property and being tampered with (aside from the fact that for as far back as I can remember I do attract, in the outside world, obsessive, obsessed, and often empty energies looking to fill themselves up with me — hence giving themselves some “identity”) is the realization that executing a purpose I have been dragging my feet in fulfilling will only anchor me further. and anchors are good for someone like me who lives such a maverick lifestyle. furthermore, not that I don’t already own all of my work in both writing and beyond, with my first book there is no escaping what is intrinsic to me.
it has been hard to know, at times, whether I was just being lazy about writing and publishing this first big book, or if I was simply attuned to timing. since I focus on many things at once (always been this way, always will be — yet I must counter that with structure!), I was constantly feeling into the timing. I got quite a bit of pressure from those around me, and quite a bit of encouragement such as from my Pulitzer winner friend which was lovely, to get this first big book (and a series) DONE. one of the tipping points for me, though, was last week. after about 3 years of knowing I HAD to do this, last week tipped me over. I had a call with my tarot reader upstate. before you roll your eyes at that, this person works on cold cases for the NY police departments. she is no joke. I was once averse to things like tarot, believe it or not. I didn’t even pick up and use a deck of my own until last week. it was a deck she gifted me two years ago. anyhow, during our call for my reading (it’s like a lengthy weather report on my life), she mentioned the following, which really hit a nerve: “the cards say you are missing a writing opportunity”. good Lord. I know and knew what she was talking about. but nothing had fully lit the fire within me until that moment. she had mentioned my writing many times prior, I had prayed on receiving inspiration from source as to when to execute it, but nothing had really connected to my core like our phone call last week. and so here I am.
since I have never taken a technical writing course in my life (to be honest, I barely remember college — I was in a fog nearly the entire time, though I was a Journalism major and I don’t recall doing too well in any of the classes), I finally began one. it was recommended to me by one of the greatest novelists of our time. this person is amazing. it has taken this person years to write just one novel, so I get how serious the process can be. and I can’t say I feel terribly behind, because like this person also told me, I have several books alone in my blog. so, it’s…there. I write every single day. I can’t help it. but, what I do need help with is the organization. the technical. and so I have started the course. I previously felt averse to taking this course, which I had access to a couple of years ago. I signed up for it, and never dove in. now, I have dived in. I am in it. and I am saying all of this because when I announce something, it means I HAVE to do it. even if it happens years later. as far as my first book is concerned, no, it will not be years later. it can’t be. the urgency is now. and today I woke up with the fire in my heart and mind to attack the technical and real-world organizational aspects of completing this book that usually make me cringe. this is the fire I have been waiting for. the green light. I suppose I will know, in time, if my impulse was a green light from spirit / source / God, or if it was something else. since I have lost sleep over the years knowing that I was procrastinating on a HUGE part of my purpose. I guess if you follow me and have interest in what I write, you, too, will find out!
we are in a time and space full of lemmings. I was nearly 30 years old before I used any kind of social media. I CAN NOT for the life of me imagine what my life would be like if I looked at these fake apps and compared my life to “influencers” (truly, what is that REALLY, anyhow?) or any of the other seemingly absolutely obscure “important” people or “instagram businesses” out there. I probably sound old. but it is true. none of it makes sense to me. probably because almost none of it is real. and thankfully I have not been conditioned on that front. anyone about 8 years + younger than me is less lucky. it’s just what it is. but there is also this: aside from the lemming disease our society suffers from, I believe in part due to these crazy and unimportant “trending” apps and so on, we are also in a time and space in which true, individual and authentic purpose is rising. as we all know, true, individual and authentic purpose has been dangerous since the beginning of time. I won’t bother going into why and all of the details. but it’s the truth. anyone who thinks differently has been persecuted — because thinking differently is born from purpose. purpose, ahead of its time, is ripe for persecution. period. I am sure you can think of many different examples right now as you read this. so, as I reflect on the last decade since I began writing and really intensely studying the earth’s energy and the collective and those on the leading edge of the woo-woo, I see a staggering and often laughable lightning bolt increase in “spiritual” healers and therapists and writers, etc. and I say this because, most of the information is not original. it is regurgitated. and there is nothing truly wrong with that, when it is put in the context of someone’s personal and authentic life experience. often it is not, because there are very young people doing this, because now it is “cool” (thank you again, instagram and trendy social apps). in 2004 when I first began listening to Caroline Myss (on tape cassette in my car), there was no one else like her out there doing what she does. I connected to her lectures on a level that nearly sent me into a samadhi for hours on end, daily. even her simple lectures put me into a near-trance state, because of the resonance at my CORE. it was in 2003 that I endeavored to begin my healing practice, but fear kept stopping me. plus, who wants to listen to sage-like advice from an early 20-something who hasn’t lived yet? at least that was my story. I still did not know enough. I was too young. I had nothing to apply my “knowledge” to. knowledge and information are not experience. and this is the void that, right now, must be filled. since 2004, I began diving deep into the world of physics and energy and understanding it. I became a near-recluse in 2006 after I left corporate and began quietly working on people energetically. and when I finally felt confident enough to “say who I am” in early 2011, I could count on my hand the number of healers or intuitives I knew of even worldwide. there was no one on yelp, no reiki healer or intuitive, except for myself and two other people. that’s it. a less-than handful. plus the intuitive I met early on in NYC who no longer resides here. one of them. and I don’t know how they would feel about being mentioned here so I won’t share at this time. but they are the real deal. since 2011, there are now not only hundreds but THOUSANDS of “healers” and “intuitives”. every year that I collected testimonials on yelp I would key word search “reiki” or “healer” and the incline was…off the charts. aside from nearly 50 people who I assisted in starting their own healing practices (I won’t bother talking about the ones who pretend they do not know me now), the numbers leap-frogged annually. now they are leap-frogging monthly if not daily. so, what gives??
mostly trend. let’s be honest. no one comes out of the closet easily. when I did, it felt like I was being lit on fire. I was terrified. for about 2-3 years straight. as I have already written about in various posts, I hid my face and used only my middle name. I did not want to be known, judged, skewered. that didn’t last. but the point is, I did not “come out” on trend. “on-trend” opposes all that I stand for. second, the reason for this sudden “emergence” in “reiki masters” and “healers” and “psychics” and so on has to do with a few people doing it and making it “ok” for the rest. and then finally, well, I write about the physics of energy as it relates to our planet earth: people ARE waking up at a lightning pace, specifically since 2008. I won’t go into details here as to why. but another reason for this sudden rise in what was once considered “new age” pertains to the earth’s energy. and the truth is, the collective as a whole has more access than ever to healing energy and intuition. we were all born with a degree of it. and now many people think they are different, special, or even cool because they can tap into it. there is nothing cool about any of it. it’s just human nature. and though this might sound a little grey in terms of how I describe why the masses are coming forward in this former new-age context, I do think it is generally a good thing. for this “work” (let’s be clear — most people do not know what they are doing, and right now “healing” is like the wild wild west in terms of any authentically qualifying factors) to be trending, at least it is opening people to what might possibly exist in the realms that we can not see, hear, or touch in palpable 3d (another trendy word now) form.
as things speed up with this “trend” of all things “healing”, water and oil WILL separate. perhaps that is what has inspired me to finally complete and publish my first book. because much of what I know, via experience not knowledge, is based on thousands of individual and lengthy personal case studies via my private practice. I have learned SO MUCH through my work. and now, I want to share what I have learned in a positive sense so that people may actually and genuinely — cutting through the trendy fluff out there — benefit from. since I did not choose this path from my mind, I want to share my core — the way that Caroline Myss did with me when I was a young person in my early years, trying to understand life and the way that I am made. the individuals I have the honor of seeing and working with via my practice remind me of the person I was when I first heard Caroline — they often carry the template of knowledge, but have nothing and no one outside of them to activate it. because it can not be activated by anything less that a MATCH — a core, authentic activation. reading some trendy article in a popular “wellness” magazine just isn’t going to cut it. and there are many, many people out there who will benefit from core knowing because it will activate their purpose — and those around them will respond to the core purpose within them that allows them to share on subjects that are trending, yet need to be discussed responsibly. we have plenty of other specialists in this world doing other things that keep things running. and so this new territory is crucial, because it is unchartered and, well, unmonitored. which can confuse a lot of people.
so, where am I at today with my work? I am continuing to flush out my TEM work. I am taking very few SLS (super luxury session) sessions (both local and destination sessions). I am writing my first big book. and as always, if you think we are a perfect match, I would love to hear from you. when and where there is destiny, there is…destiny. it has always amazed me that my most revelational sessions occur with a person who thought I would never call them back. I can relate to that feeling myself. because when we are truly meant for something, the feeling of entitlement does not even exist. rather, the feeling of the unknown in a very exciting and nervous sense, prevails.
if you read this post and feel confused because you are interested in healing, “spirituality”, holistic or otherwise “new age” work, I encourage you to know yourSELF on all levels possible and present your authentic truth as loudly and clearly as possible. there is nothing wrong with drawing inspiration — but when the truth is yours, and you own it, you won’t have to try hard to launch your purpose — it will launch for you. quite in fact, you will not be able to avoid it and you will not be able to stop thinking about it. no mater your age or “experience” or background. you do not have to isolate in an ashram for 10 years or OM yourself into “enlightenment” in a yoga class. quite the opposite, actually. I encourage you to own yourself like no one’s business, and become your own identity and NO ONE ELSE’S. if you have even an inkling that healing work is for you, then you must do it. and be willing to start somewhere, without all of the answers, without security or a net. just start. start by “knowing nothing” (whilst knowing your core as strongly as possible), as this is how we learn. do not be intimidated by what I speak about in terms of the wild wild west genre of “healers” or the fact that there is no regulation where there needs to be. because you may very well, if you own yourSELF, be one of the great change agents this “field” needs. and it’s more than a field, it is the truth. if you line up with that, to the best of your ability, you are going to be successful. I promise.