how to deal with alcoholic behavior aka gaslighting
of course the first thing I would say about this, is don’t deal with it.
alcoholic behavior aka gaslighting is a mastered art for many — more than a lifestyle, even — and doesn’t even necessarily involve substances of any kind. after all, addiction begins in the MIND.
we all have problems. most of us want to improve, though. these are not the folks I’m focused on in this article. the folks I’m focused on DO NOT WANT TO IMPROVE. not under any circumstances. but, you wouldn’t know that at first glance. hence why you would be sucked in. hence why you are reading this and already relating to it right now.
alcoholic behavior aka gaslighting in the context that I will describe it here is a hunter’s bow and arrow. it is a sport. and the breed that plays it goes widely undetected…unless you 1) have dealt with it enough times to know you’re dealing with it — and I will say, this breed is RARE so don’t beat yourself up if you’ve gotten mixed up here 2) catch it during its karmic downfall, like when it’s starving, which involves more than just you. the latter is also a rare event, but it does happen. in fact, we are seeing it happen collectively right now.
let’s call the particular breed of alcoholic behavior aka gaslighting I am presenting today the hunter’s breed. for it is NOT unconscious or subconscious — though, the mastered art form of this bow and arrow psychological game will certainly make it appear so…leaving you asking yourself, “could I be more kind or compassionate? maybe it’s ME? I’m sure they didn’t mean to do that…”. but with the hunter’s breed, THEY DID mean it. it is their sport. which is far more than a means for survival, as it is for many who simply grew up in unhealthy alcoholic environments (with or without the substance).
the hunter’s breed expresses itself oh-so-uniquely. there are key characteristics that it has, and like all sociopathic persons on our planet its greatest downfall is its arrogance…it truly believes that it is smarter than you. because it believes it is smarter than you, it will gladly insult your intelligence with the most outrageous stories, excuses and demeanors. you will look at this breed and feel tempted to be insulted by how incredibly stupid it believes you are…don’t fall into that trap. I’ll talk more on that later, as it is a key ingredient for surviving grazing upon a hunter’s breed alcoholic gaslighter out in the wilderness.
first, I’d like to outline the telltale signs of a hunter’s breed. for starters — and this is REALLY important — they go OUT OF THEIR WAY TO LOOK NORMAL. no bohemian stuff here. nothing that could POSSIBLY give them away as being anything less than run-of-the-mill. no, not the hunter’s breed. the hunter’s breed take pleasure in other things. they would never stand out, so as not to make them a target. just like a serial killer. this quality to them makes them perhaps even more despicable, because their conscious attempts to blend in are just that…conscious. you can find this breed out at pasture looking just like all the others…as basic as possible. they don’t dare mark themselves with anything unique or individual, as that would give them away. they camouflage themselves with whatever the other folks are wearing…super mainstream. think Ann Taylor, the Gap, Lily Pulitzer, Marshall’s basics, anything run-of-the-mill. like an advertisement saying “Hi! I’m super normal”. the hunter’s breed, of course, wants to strike its victim totally undetected. the camouflage is EVERYTHING. they don’t need to stand out since they get their juices in other ways…
the hunter’s breed will marry someone they totally do not love, respect or care about if it paints the picture. the picture, after all, is crucial to the hunter’s breed. they will do — just like a sociopathic killer — whatever society says to do (on the surface). in this way, they minimize their chances of ever being a target. this way, you will never see them coming. this way, you will blame yourself. and God forbid you are eccentric, or unique, or you stand out … they will be like a moth to your flame. so, watch out! the hunter’s breed will do the “normal” things as best as they can…have kids at the most socially appropriate time possible, wear the costume, volunteer at PTA, etc. they will take no loud opposing positions in society, for again…they would stand out!
this breed will APPEAR super agreeable. amenable to what you know to be normal, fair and just. AT FIRST. this is so that they can go in for the kill where and when it makes them feel most alive — which is always an odd, almost bizarre place and time. they do this with seemingly inconsequential things — like any manipulator, they start out small…to see if you will catch it or not. this is the initial trap that most normal, well meaning people fall into…and they blame or question themselves.
I once experienced a most VETERAN hunter’s breed through my practice. like some of the insane and evil folks I’ve come across, they were in the therapeutic field. this one was a real gem, and had it not been for my climbing out of incredible alcoholic behavior and gaslighting trauma myself many years earlier, I would have fallen prey to them. because, you see, normal or healthy people without traumatic pasts would never conceive that a hunter’s breed even exists, let alone a highly manipulative person. and, a person still in trauma would be attracted to it and blame themselves. no, not me in this case.
the first thing this hunter’s breed did was test me — as in, there were a few clear signs. and this is classic hunter’s breed behavior. the first thing that they did was not do something they said they were going to do — which was basically along the lines of confirm an email. hmmm. ok. no big deal. this was their test. the next thing they did, was gaslight me on which day we were to speak and meet. hmmm. almost no big deal, but odd. the next thing they did was screw me out of a ton of money — I won’t go into how, and this one actually is my fault because I always operate out of trust and have often not verified that trust — and I was extremely close to making it my mistake in my mind after it happened. it wasn’t. this was obviously alarming, but something within me said to see it through. the next thing they did was show up an hour late to a meeting with me — yet another test. I won’t go into hardcore specifics here, because this person is both crazy AND dangerous — ruthless, in fact…the epitome of evil in the flesh if I’ve ever met it. however, if they are reading this, then they know that I know anyhow and that is a risk I am willing to take so much time later. all of these tests from this particular hunter’s breed might have gone right over the head of a normal person because of how well-executed they were — for a hunter’s breed doesn’t just do this sometimes, and they do not start later in life…a hunter’s breed starts at birth. and they only improve over time. it is their sport. their art form. their joy. and they could win an Oscar for their tactics…
the tactics that a hunter’s breed implores to “get away” with what they do are always victim-oriented. for example, in the above case, this person was all “oh dear me!!!!! I am beside myself!!!! how did this happen!!!!!!”…with absolutely the most convincing tone. I know how to bypass the radar of a malignant hunter’s breed, only because I’ve dealt with it so much. the way that I bypass it is by dropping directly into my higher self, but never stepping foot out of my body for a moment while they are in action. because I HAD to love so many sick people as a young child, I am able to access this love temporarily in the face of a malignant hunter’s breed. because higher self and awareness is real, they do not detect resistance…because I’m not in it. when dealing with a malignant hunter’s breed, I highly recommend going undetected, if you can. for regular hunter’s breed — which is certainly still the most cancerous of alcoholic behavior aka gaslighting, you don’t have to pretend that you do not know who or what they are — there are simple tactics learned in alanon or other 12-step programs in which you can simply disengage. I’ll get to those later. the malignant hunter’s breed is rare, but it does exist…just like the career serial killer. and you will likely only know you’ve met it once they’ve sunk their teeth in…for their behavior is always conscious, always plotted, and always their source of life. once they pierce you with their sword and feel that they have gotten away with something, they move on if there is nothing else to tap you for. this is why it is good to play dead with the malignant hunter’s breed.
much like the malignant hunter’s breed, the regular hunter’s breed — again, still a conscious and plotting breed, just not quite as evil as the malignant part of this breed — thrives on pretend victimhood. no matter what you do or say, they will find a way to make it something that they are suffering from. they are also EXPERT “forgetters” — hey, if someone can’t remember something, how can you blame them for it? and of course, it will be YOUR fault that they didn’t remember. this is truly a mastered art, and slightly less nefarious than the malignant hunter’s breed which will go out of its way to kill you and take from you on incredible levels (such as people who love to sue other people — oh boy, they are a great malignant breed of alcoholic behavior and gaslighting). it kind of reminds me of this whole election, and entire hunt to take out DJT throughout the last four years. no matter what your opinions are — of course, if you are not blinded by your own ego, trauma and bias — you have to admit that what the witch hunters did was CRAZY. it’s still crazy. it’s the most malignant form of hunter’s breed that there is. and like all hunter’s breeds, they went after someone for sport and accused them of all the things that THEY were doing. and they had many people believing it. many people still believe it, but less than before. since an individual hunter’s breed rarely has an entire media to play with to gaslight billions of people, they will settle for just you until they can get what they need. and the common thread with all alcoholic behavior and gaslighting is that they must make THEIR bad behavior YOUR FAULT, WHILE DOING IT.
for example. a regular hunter’s breed will buy you dinner with your credit card, and then insist that you also pay them for the amount that they charged your credit card with (whereas a malignant hunter’s breed would get you to put all of your property in their name and then divorce you overnight). I’m not joking. I had this acquaintance in college. she was all about the discounts, the expensing meals, you name it — anything for free, because she was so empty inside. I will never forget, this one special occasion that came around. I organized something, put in my time sweat and tears for it, and got everyone a discount on it — basically, her share was a fraction of what it would have been. being a hunter’s breed, she insisted upon handling the finances and paying with her card so that she had control. no one thought anything of it, because we didn’t see how corrupt she was at the time. most normal young people don’t think like this, because the average person isn’t evil. she was. and yes, she had the whole “basic” look going on and still does…but that’s another story. in any case, she took MY handouts and favors and actually charged me a full share — which was more than the discount that I had gotten her, and the group, and myself. she found a way to manipulate, maneuver between the lines, and actually end up making money off of something that she should have put money INto. a hunter’s breed will always find ways to do this, and it’s never really about the money…it’s about winning. and it’s about life force. since money is energy, they will focus on that specifically.
another unique characteristic of the hunter’s breed is that it doesn’t hunt to live; it truly hunts for sport. it gets its kicks out of knowing that it got away with something. but you would never know it by its “poor woe-is-me” act. the “humble” act. the “I’m so poor” act. the act is a master deflection so that you never look at what they are actually doing. and if it’s not one woe-is-me act, it is another. the hunter’s breed tends to be a proud breed, so you won’t always see them in shambles. they like a “together” exterior, again, mostly to go unnoticed. the hunter’s breed has no reason to do what they do, other than they enjoy the sport. like a hunter targeting nearly-extinct trophy animals on sacred land. they don’t do anything because they have to, rather they do it because they are evil. I suppose it’s better than killing people.
the hunter’s breed tends to be good at its job, because it simply likes winning. sure, it loves to take advantage of people — but even more so, it likes to take advantage of people under “legal permission”. a hunter’s breed can do this in many fields like sales, where it’s typically anyone’s game. I recall working in corporate America in sales and I had just landed a huge account with one of the big fives. my boss found out about it, and called the big five. he made them a bigger better offer. they canceled their deal with me and he got the commission after I opened this account. he told me that I should have been a better salesperson. that’s the hunter’s breed and they thrive in sales environments because these environments tend to lack morals even among their peers or associates.
the hunter’s breed gets what it wants by confusing you. I’ve written a lot about how to spot an abusive person — the number one sign is confusion. I’ve listed countless examples. I’ve noticed other “advice experts” in my field parroting this in their new blogs. well, it would be great if they gave actual personal vulnerable examples, because otherwise it just sounds like parroted words. I digress. I’ve been annoyed at the level of plagiarism lately. in any event, the hunter’s breed will confuse you by doing “little” things such as I mentioned with the malignant hunter’s breed example. they do this for more than one reason.
the first reason that they do this is to test you — to see how far they can take it. the other reason that they do this is to LITERALLY DERIVE ENERGY from your field. yes, when you are confused, the hunter’s breed will lap it up. the quicker you learn and are not confused, the less they have to work with. they will either work even harder to confuse you, or simply move on. simply moving on is optimal, and while you do not have to play dead with them as you would a malignant hunter’s breed, your sign that says “I see what you are doing” is enough to stop the standard hunter’s breed. however, make sure you take precautions while letting them know that you “see” them.
first, the best precaution is for you yourself to be healthy and recovered if you grew up in a toxic / alcoholic / abusive and gaslighting family. but, that seems to be a tall order since much of the nation actually still watches mainstream news. in any event, the more removed you are from this behavior the better. while this is optimal, it isn’t always logical. so, you can simply take accurate notes and reflect them back. nothing elaborate. just the basics. since a hunter’s breed is always looking for an easy kill, it won’t spend too much time on you if it knows you can’t be confused. do not EVER get emotional with the hunter’s breed — JUST THE FACTS. do not try to become friends with them once you see how they operate. and trust me, with the hunter’s breed, it is ALWAYS conscious. they have simply mastered the art of making it LOOK unconscious. if you stick to the facts and never play a game, you can navigate this quite well. dropping into an emotion will only perpetuate the cycle. stay out of emotion and confusion as best you can so that the hunter can go back out to pasture.
a poorly skilled hunter’s breed, though they love the sport and are in it for life, will make all kinds of mistakes which you can easily point out — given that you have recovered from your own trauma, gone to alanon, and / or are clear-headed. again, a hunter’s breed doesn’t do this unconsciously so they don’t take pleasure in the drama the way a person with typical mental illness will. and, the consciousness of it all is what makes them particularly evil. their mistakes will be along the lines of assuming you are stupid, and as you counter their tactics with just the facts, they will tend to leave you alone…unless, of course, they are the malignant hunter’s breed — in which case you NEVER LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU KNOW! and if you have any pride issues here, you are probably screwed. just a FYI.
the hunter’s breed will always find a way to bring unnecessary or untoward details to the table. typically unrelated to the matter or conversation at hand. this is to distract you, and to make you feel guilty. if you have it together, you won’t react nor will you fall for it. once again, those are the golden coping tactics in this case.
think of a gambler at a casino (except, of course, they would be using someone else’s money)…a hunter’s breed is just rolling dice. seeing what they can come up with. this is a good thing to keep in mind when you are tempted to take things personally. they will always roll the dice, but it is not because they think you are stupid…it is because they ASSUME you are, just like they assume EVERYONE is — except for them. you can spot a hunter’s breed because their act is rehearsed…you will have a sense that they have done this before. the routine element to their behavior, almost like an act of a play (or like a serial dater!), is another tell-tale sign to know that you aren’t dealing with just another basket-case alcoholic or gaslighter…the rehearsal is a commitment to the act with no intention of changing. because they ARE the act, they aren’t just IN the act. there is a profound difference here between the two.
a hunter’s breed has long ago made a deal with the devil, because it’s who they are. don’t ever try to reason with them. once you see their behavior, BELIEVE IT. do not question, blame or confuse yourself. believe what they are doing. and know that they have mastered their craft and that they can go hunt elsewhere. don’t confuse them with someone who is actually working through trauma themselves, which can happen with some active alcoholics or gaslighters.
this breed loves diversion tactics. aside from playing “dumb” when in fact that is what they believe you are, this includes involving other people / parties when and where they are not called for. they do so, seemingly innocently, but it is never innocent — for they are forever triangulating in order to again: distract, confuse, and extract emotion from you. since they are so good at playing the victim in life, others who have not yet been the target of their game will not see it coming. they can often survive very well this way, because it gives them the illusion of support and agreement from others — such as that you are crazy / mean / demanding / etc. for example, I once referred one of this breed to a therapist. not knowing my relationship to the therapist, they immediately began to casually paint a picture of me…their aim, of course, was to set up a triangle before this therapist “knew” me to pull them into their game. unfortunately for this person, they misjudged the situation and my long history with this therapist. not only did their triangulation attempt not work, it backfired. this is an example of the hunter’s breed assuming that most people are stupid and can be easily played. look for their triangulation attempts and do not be afraid to address any third parties they go after directly. though you will run the risk of looking cuckoo depending upon what this breed has groomed them with, if they are otherwise hinged and sane and you stick ONLY to the facts, it will eliminate some of their ammo. third parties are always a bow and arrow for the hunter’s breed when they are focused on you as the game.
finally, don’t ever compromise yourself or be afraid of the hunter’s breed. yes, they are aggressive. yes, they hunt for sport. no, it is not personal — they have done this many times before, and you likely have something that they want…ENERGY. if you aren’t fooled by them and you don’t leak it via confusion or debating, they have nothing to eat. and they die. they die because they made the mistake of confusing you for a beefy tasty rack of something that eventually they could cook for dinner and have for months. chances are, if they have taken a shot at you with their bow and arrow (or gun) and missed, they are on their way out. despite the fact that they do this for sport, it still takes a bit of energy to stalk and kill prey. what if you are that one target that just kept moving, and you happened to be their last hope at a meal since the other targets they invested in moved, too? one can only hope.
not everyone wants to be good. or to be better. they just don’t. this was the HARDEST thing for me to realize as a sensitive, compassionate, empathic and overly-giving child and young adult. it still blows my mind, because I’m not wired that way. but, I’ve learned my weight in gold, and I’ve had to tell my mind continuously that I’d rather risk being “wrong” than falling into the same old trap. well, I’ve never been wrong with a hunter’s breed, whether I learned the hard way (after questioning myself) or the easy way (trusting myself, having mastered the art of dealing with alcoholic behavior and gaslighting).
the world becomes much easier, and in an odd way it seems much more fair once you realize what and whom you are dealing with. I can deal with that which I am able to see. lying to myself about what it is never works, and it doesn’t feel good. and we leak energy by lying to ourselves, even when we don’t consciously realize that we are. but, we are still doing it, wondering why “life isn’t fair”…welp, that’s because we have failed to see the truth in order to know: life is not fair.
good luck with that rampant alcoholic behavior and gaslighting that is everywhere! I’ve jumped over many of the typical telltale signs here that I already cover in much of my other material, such as things like people saying one thing and doing another, or having poor boundaries and insisting you have the same, or simply wanting what you have and trying to take it (via theft, imitation, plagiarism, cross-talk/gossip, etc). all of those things can fall under other categories like narcissism and sociopathy. and since there are unique and rare breeds in each corner of life, I leave you to ponder on the hunter’s breed of alcoholic behavior and gaslighting.
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