nothing is more important than disconnecting from negative people, places, and things. plus, why evil-doers nearly *always* present as victims

consider the most negative people in your life. consider the DRAG on your energy that you feel when 1) thinking about them 2) corresponding with them 3) knowing they have access to you in some way. then, consider their presentation to the world — aren’t they nearly ALWAYS “victims”?

the easiest way to abuse and take advantage of other people is by gaslighting them and playing the role of a victim. we see it in our mainstream media (well, those of us who CAN see, I should say), our political sphere, and our entertainment / Hollywood sphere. it’s a DIS-EASE.

once upon a time I met and befriended a man in a wheelchair. he was a near-quadriplegic, with minor use of his hands. I found him to be funny and interesting, so we would make plans to get drinks and socialize together. he drove, because he had a special car made just for him with a lift and some tools that he only needed use of his fingers/hands for. he told me that I made him feel like he wasn’t in a wheelchair. his backstory was that in college, he was high on coke and crashed his car. fast forward, and he would get drunk as a quadriplegic and drive. but it wasn’t just that… this man told me stories about stealing from his business (and getting away with it because he was seen as a victim), and how he could drink as much as he wanted to without getting in trouble because if the cops pulled him over they would see he was handicapped. I fell for the act as well, because before I heard those stories from his mouth I didn’t see any red flags. I just saw a funny guy who happened to be in a wheelchair and I have always liked having different friends.

I came upon a rough time in my life, a true dark night of the soul, and I needed help. I had just finished a meeting with a life coach in the East Village, and the life coach told me to stop telling everyone that things were great when they weren’t. he told me to tell people the truth when they asked how I was doing. as the life coach left, I received a message from my friend in the wheelchair. he asked me how I was doing. I had to fight myself to not say “great!”. I told him that I was in a bind but I was working through it. he asked me what I needed, and what I needed was more work. he told me that he would pay me to edit writing of his about his accident, that he was trying to submit to big magazines. I obliged (HESITANTLY), and I let him pay me upfront for the work. within a couple of weeks, he wanted to hang out like we always had, and we went to a couple of bars. it was then that he tried to pay me for sexual acts. I was so thrown off. first of all, never in my life had someone approached me like this and so directly. my only other creepy experience in this realm was with a hotelier who tried to “buy me” when I was doing coat check as a young woman in Manhattan (don’t get me started on this man — now deceased, but part of NYC’s “elite” no doubt). wheelchair man tried hard to convince me, and in one moment I felt scared, betrayed and confused. my mind said “you’re safe — he won’t hurt you, he is in a wheelchair”. and my adrenaline said, “get away from him”. I acted like nothing happened and went home. he continued to harass me via text and email to be his “muse” and that he didn’t really care about his writing — he wanted to buy me. the other amazing and brazen part of this story, is that he was married. he found a woman who needed her papers and who would be his bed nurse, and he married her. he was also terrified of her finding out that he approached me in this way. he was nervous that I was upset. and though I was, extremely, I acted like nothing happened. I politely avoided him and paid him back the money later on plus interest (I now realize how nice that was). but not without extremely abusive and sadistic messages from him, saying that he got “nothing out of the deal!!!” — he wanted sex. amazing. this is an amazing story which I’ve actually kept brief here. this was one of my first experiences with a “victim” who was actually a perpetrator. imagine if he were not in a wheelchair?

as time went on, I began to notice other classic archetype nuances of evil-doers who present as victims but are actually abusers themselves. I realized that much of my early life was spent around this type of individual. I learned well about the tie between narcissists and “victims”. it was and still is a hard one to process, just because my mind is not wired that way. those of us who have been victimized but who do not identify as victims wouldn’t even consider presenting as victims. true victims typically hide their experiences, or act like everything is “ok” as a coping mechanism. it is rare that an ACTUAL victim will risk re-injuring themselves by making themselves so vulnerable. and if and when they do, they are unmistakably simply strong people sharing their experience. they don’t virtue signal about it, they don’t try to make it part of “identity politics”, and they certainly do not make it their “brand” in life — in whatever regard.

to date, I see a most common theme amongst actual abusers. they all have the victim act DOWN PAT. now let’s take someone who is “chronically ill”, for example. of the THOUSANDS of people I’ve seen professionally via my Healing Elaine® work, and of the many other thousands I’ve simply met along the way in life, I’ve come face to face with my share of cases of legitimate illness. I’ve also come face to face with my share of willful illness…those who use either their actual illness (like wheelchair guy) or the facade (“mystery illness”) of their illness TO CONTROL OTHERS. when people can’t get what they want in life, because they are, quite simply, LAZY, they will regress to using amazing baiting tactics to control other people — with the real goal being attention-seeking. they will use a physical condition or fake/undiagnosed physical condition, they will use “racism” (which clearly exists, is sinful, and should NEVER be exploited) or the classic race card (and let me tell you: the folks I’ve met who do this — of ALL different demographics — are some of the most heinously racist, agist, bigoted people on the planet!), or they will use some other “cause” that they are “passionate about” like domestic violence…all the while, actually enjoying and being PART of the abuse — because they, themselves, are ACTUALLY abusers.

our current victim consciousness and cancel culture society has cultivated a ripe breeding ground for these characters. thankfully, like all things fake, it is dying and will die fast. these people will eat each other (since they do this for LIFE FORCE — as they have none) and the victim trend will simply die. however, other realities that are not nuances or trends of bigger evil dispositions remain…

recently I found myself in a situation with another abuser. this person has the act down PAT. the archetype for this individual is a classic; they present as meek, “scattered” (a really unbelievable diversion tactic abusers use when they are pretending to be victims), “positive”, and somehow “always the victim of others”! they use their children as puppets and bait to get what they want, they worm-tongue and manipulate EVERYONE around them to set the stage for their “unfortunate” circumstances, ALL THE WHILE acting as the perpetrator. these folks will lie to you and steal from you, deceive you and confuse you, so that they can get what they want — but they can and will only do it whilst playing a victim role. tied with narcissism, these are dangerous creatures. and you should look out for them…

the first “sign” that I had in the above dynamic was the “playing dumb” or “scattered” act; it didn’t make sense to me. I said straight-up to an assistant of mine that this was a concern. knowing nothing of my experience and having no base of knowledge in this arena as I do, they tried to explain it away and said “oh no no no, they are so sweet! I think this is just how they are”. but, I knew better. and, I walked into something that had presented a flag, but it was flag that I had hoped wouldn’t be as bad as it looked. flags are ALWAYS as bad as they look.

I had a conversation this week with a wonderful patient/client of mine who is top in their fast-paced industry. they are dealing with the same thing right now (you don’t get to the top of your industry without crossing paths with these folks — so unless you were given a silver spoon and promotions without working for it, you will encounter everything I am writing about) — evil-doers taking advantage of them, but presenting as oblivious victims. this is a HALLMARK of an abuser! it’s just like the “Russia! Russia! Russia!” nonsense with regard to Trump. and if you still believe that, you are a SUCKER. the media was and always has been the perpetrator, the maniacs who have been in “politics” their entire lives are the perpetrators, and those of us on the outskirts have simply rattled their evil, corrupt cages. this isn’t about personalities — this is about THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM.

have you ever met a “victim of domestic violence” who claims to want to leave their situation with the abusive spouse, but NEVER does? you’ll need at least five examples of such a scenario to find a common pattern (no I am NOT suggesting that everyone in this dynamic is there willfully). many times, what you will find is that the victim LOVES this dynamic — they are often JUST as abusive as the abuser, in their own way. they work together as a team — often abusing their children, too. we line up with what we match; initially, we line up with our PAST (which is not our fault)…but then, we line up with what we ARE (which is what we find after making changes and self-improvement — evil people can not, and will not change or self-improve…ever). I can’t tell you how many people — men and women — I’ve met in “abusive dynamics” who actually seek them out and cultivate them. it’s not unconscious. it is conscious. and typically these “victims” will simply find a more OVERT example of an abuser so that THEY, as covert manipulators, can do THEIR dirty work and hide behind the obvious nature of their abusive counterparts…so that when shit hits the fan, they are never to blame. it’s a TACTIC.

often, the real victim in the above dynamic is the person who is unconsciously acting out. take for example an alcoholic husband and his “victim” wife. I know of women who have SOUGHT OUT this type of man, knowing that their addiction or weakness will be a GREAT EXCUSE come time for their divorce and to walk with money. it happens ALL of the time. it is their awareness and their conscious decision-making that make them an extra type of pure evil. this is real.

I know middle-aged women who were voted “best looking” in high school, but were too lazy to ever do any of the work to achieve in life. they stupidly thought that they could and would be rewarded by the planet for looking a certain way. one in particular who comes to mind is a special kind of lazy woman who expected the world to bend at her feet. when she couldn’t get what she wanted (because she is incredibly lazy — another sign of evil portraying as “victim), she got pregnant. when that wasn’t enough attention (it never is), she developed mystery illnesses. when that didn’t work, she cranked up the dial and made it her “brand”. at the root of ALL of these tactics is a desperation to receive attention aka life force from others by CONTROLLING THEM in some way. it’s a classic.

as a teenager I had a “best friend” who was stunning. Megan Fox stunning but more stunning. she was also — you guessed it — INCREDIBLY LAZY, and fearful. she expected the world to bend at her feet because she was pretty. when she realized that was never going to happen, she drank more. she ate away her laziness. she ended our friendship the moment I moved to NYC to pursue my dreams — in her mind, SHE was the actress. SHE was the beautiful one. but, she was too afraid to get on a train and face rejection, so there you have it. another VICITM of XYZ … THING. and so she created that part of her persona. she gained an incredible amount of weight, and before our friendship ended, mutual friends of ours would ACTUALLY say to me when we were out socially “you need to be nice to her — she’s not thin or as comfortable as you are and it’s hard for her to see you get so much attention” — AHEM!!?? this woman was a former model. she decided to literally throw in the towel because she didn’t want to do the work, and then act upset when she felt “insecure” years later in public. she did it to herself. and she got sympathy for it. it was ridiculous.

last year an acquaintance of mine posted a racist, sexist remark on social media with my name in it. this was pre “rona” launch. I told this person it was inappropriate. they responded — and I kid you not — “I am not racist!!!”…now, yes you guessed it, they are a TOP VIRTUE SIGNALER. always, always, ALWAYS, the people screaming the loudest about “equality” and blah blah blah have deep-rooted issues (often sexual issues with women if they are men) and an inherent sense of superiority that they must squash with their fake screaming. these are the REAL evil-doers — the ones you yell the loudest. the master projectors of their own daily sins. we hate what we ARE…

now for the beginning part of the title of this article. “nothing is more important than disconnecting from negative people, places, and things.” in each of the above examples that I have provided, I noticed a REMARKABLE difference in my life when the disconnect happened between myself and those people. it’s always this way. I don’t care if it is family, your “best friend”, your landlord or your boss — GET AWAY. the first step, however, and of course, is seeing the forest for the trees. be VERY careful dealing with anyone who has a sob story. now, we ALL have sob stories — but I’m talking about a certain kind. you have to know WHY it is a sob story. and, it can’t just be offered up without reasoning or a realistic tie to why it is being offered up as information to you. I’ve gone through plenty of terrible things, but I will never lead as a victim — in fact, I lead as the opposite.

the next time someone tells you about their “abusive ex husband” or plays dumb about extremely OBVIOUS happenings, do not assume that they are “scattered” or oblivious or meek or feeble — they might be cluing you in to their game in life. a master manipulator of you and everyone around them. victims — in the sense that I am describing here — are dangerous. they will use their “circumstances” (which always, ALWAYS can be either avoided or transformed) as bait and you are that fish they want to fillet. true victims have integrity, despite their conditions. true victims typically appear strong and you are shocked at their realities which you only know about at super relevant times — even years later.

I have a close friend of over 20 years. 2018 was the first time he ever heard about my past. he had no idea. was dumbfounded. because I NEVER LED WITH IT. I was always the happy friend, the positive friend, helping others. I am sure it changed his world to hear the truth about my life. but that is how real victims roll — they don’t want to be. they don’t pride themselves on the identity of their hardship — they do not use it as CURRENCY. rather, they use it to help others.

evil-doers in the form of victims or virtue signalers are incredibly dangerous people. they create dangerous places. and they sell you dangerous things. it’s string theory, and one thing is ALWAYS tied to the next. if you pay attention to their language, to their circumstances and to their (often) chosen realities, you will notice that their chasm of victim consciousness is a black, gaping hole ready to devour you. if you avoid it, you jump massive levels in this video game of life. if you fall into it but escape it (very common — and, we are here to learn, so do not ever judge yourself if you fall into their chasm, for about half the population in this nation is currently living in the chasm…some consciously, but many unconsciously for they have been DUPED), you jump even more massive levels in this video game of life — it just takes time to climb out and recover. but the contrast is WILD — and you will look back at the reality you were tricked into and see how AMAZING it is to be away from it. far, far, far away…for everything that you engage with, YOU BECOME.

nothing is more important than disconnecting from negative people, places, and things. just be sure to spot the “negative” in order to disconnect.