One of the reasons the Catholic faith has resonated with me so much this past year is the amount of understanding of what I do in the world I discovered through the devout Catholics I’ve met. There is no other denomination with this understanding and I was surprised to encounter it.
On one phone call with the diocese in Texas, the person who guides and counsels new Catholics and parishioners spoke at length with me about my charisms of healing. I was concerned the church would reject my gifts because I didn’t know about their “rules” and sanctions, etc. Of course I’d spoken at length over many months about my vocation with pastors of other Christian denominations and they were always incredibly supportive, but what about my resonance with and pursuit of the Catholic faith? Would I be accepted? I was 100% willing to reconcile my path if I were not accepted, if my gifts were not accepted – I was willing to surrender everything, just as I’ve always been, and do it “God’s way”.
And what I discovered was not only understanding, but a full embrace and pure embodiment and language for what I was embued with at birth. Only in the Catholic faith have I found this and it was the last place I expected to…be accepted.
No only do the teachings completely iterate what I’ve known in my heart since I was born, but they illustrate my experiences in better words than I could conjure. I was not expecting this.
Recently someone in one of the bible study groups asked about hands-on-healing. The answer the teacher gave was – one again – you guessed it – not one I expected but one I believed all along.
Back in the day, there were many natural healers of Christian faith. God had embued them with the Holy Spirit in such a way that when they offered their God-given gifts to others, they were passed onto them as an offering of the healer in agreement with God as he offered his sufferings and good works to thee. To me, this has always been a no-brainer, it’s why I did and do what I do, and if you know my whole story you already know that God shut my life DOWN until I agreed to do this work. It was very painful, and very different from the bandwagon “trend” of so called “healers” that popped up when social media made it possible for everyone to replicate others’ personalities and vocations without a thought. Obviously, we live in the fakest world of our human history. But, you attract what you are. So – if you can discern between real and fake then maybe you’ve got some things to let go of to see more clearly.
5 years ago I wrote an article about what I do and how it is “different” from the bandwagon craze out there. When I had surrendered to God and agreed to do what I do, my entire life began. The lights turned on in a way I will never have words for. I was afraid to begin what I do because I was terrified of offending God – I wasn’t sure it was Him telling me to move forward on my path, or the enemy. I’d known there is a difference between God and Satan and it can be hard to hear. I had to work through surrendering to the fact that yes, my gifts were real and they were not to be hidden. I did not feel worthy – and this was a sin against God as well. So when I finally surrendered to His plan my entire life changed. As did thousands of others.
Since I was little I saw the holy spirit work through me in amazing ways. I knew it wasn’t “me” but that I was being used by God CONSTANTLY; even in ways I didn’t want to be. When it came time to do my healing work publicly – which I didn’t publicly admit or acknowledge until my 30s because who on earth knows anything in their 20s? – I was used by God in new ways. At peak times – multi-year stretches – of my work, all I did was eat sleep work and meditate. I was chaste, sober, and alone by choice. This was the only way I could reconcile giving my all to God by helping others in the best way I knew how. And it was more than that – I knew he was using me not just intellectually (since I’d speak with folks for MANY hours before laying hands over or on them – because you can NOT counsel someone properly simply through “touch”) – but moving through my entire body and hands. With a simple, focused prayer and intention after speaking tirelessly with the person who came to me for help, I knew I was trading off a piece of me God had reserved for them. I kept this to myself almost always, because of how nuts I felt it would sound to others. I feared, just as I feared beginning my work, that others would be envious or find it arrogant because they were not connected to God well enough to love themselves enough to see the gifts not only in themselves or others; but God’s gifts are real and they exist in everyone differently.
I can’t count the number of women who tried everything under the sun to get pregnant and then it happened after a short time we spent together. I knew God was using me, and I also knew the toll it took on me – physically, emotionally and also timeline-wise…for I constantly put my personal life on hold to do this work. THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY. And if you don’t understand, you don’t understand.
Every year that passed, I asked God if he wanted me to continue this work. When my censorship hit in 2017 and became a major problem by 2019, I was getting the message to slow down. Sure, the censorship served multiple purposes that are still all to be revealed – but I also knew that there is no way I could do THOUSANDS of these intense 1:1 sessions and spend infinite hours offering people my prayers and counsel and still be in one piece at a certain point. What was it that God was sharing with me through external world tribulations?
In part, he was asking me to be more specific. Perhaps even more selective than I already was. I mandated the Bible as a pre requisite. I did things even more “His” way than ever before. And I came to further understand what I knew was happening in every single session, as he performed miracles through me – an actual piece of ME was being gifted, passed on to someone else. At times, this caused confusion when someone was particularly narcissistic and unwilling to heal – as they felt not only entitled to me, but that they WERE me; this was part of the gift and seeming curse that God put inside me at birth.
As I took more time, mostly through my own trials and tribulations of our deranged, satanic and INSANE government coming after me through literally hiding 90% of my SEO on the internet (don’t get me started), and screaming the truth from the top of my lungs (some people will never learn – enjoy that 5th jab!), I came to learn that I had given away nearly all my gifts and God was asking me to pivot. This was hard because being a “healer” had become an identity of sorts for me. Even removing my human attachment to this role was difficult solely from a life path of change perspective. But I had to understand more deeply what it meant.
Which brings me to the reason for this article and the conversation at Bible study between the teacher and student in my Catholic class. He explained everything my soul already knew – when God embues another person with the charism of healing, those gifts are transferred onto other living beings physically. Obviously, since God is an ENTITY, he must use an antennae (my words) of course aka the holy spirit to access others through a person with the charism of healing. He will choose any one person, at any time, for specific acts and miracles – the extraordinary. And what I’ve seen through my work is nothing short of extraordinary. Not that I have to, but I will make it abundantly clear again that I know I am not God – hence my hesitation in good faith even doing this work in the first place so many years back when my life was in peril and He was asking me to please step forward.
Seeing thousands of cases of the extraordinary – even when some people refused it (some people DO NOT WANT TO HEAL) – only strengthened my entire faith which was already so strong. I felt, after every single session, “I could die happy now”. A sense that my entire purpose had been realized was within me, even if it were not true. Fast-forward to the times I said “never again! I will never work in this way again!” –
I’d reached the point in which I feared my soul would detach from my body, and my spirit leave it – and I would die – after certain sessions. This was God letting me know that I was running on empty. My entire life I’ve had the inclination to give and give and give – over-delivering and even confusing other with a seeming endless reserve of energy that unfortunately they often felt entitled to. Not knowing when to turn off my own water supply was not so much a “boundary” issue in a psychological sense, but the feeling that God had blessed me so infinitely that I had no limits; however this line of thinking was, in fact, leading my down a path to conflate my God-given gifts with His boundless energy…which I did not and do not have.
When people see another person with gifts they do not have or do not understand, they often feel entitled to them. I have this acquaintance who, for whatever reason, has this issue with wealthy people – they feel entitled to being helped because “they have it so they should give it”; not only is this a disgusting and narcissistic mindset, but it is a lazy, slothful and sinful mindset ripe for disaster. But so many feel this way. Look at our broken society. A new generation of spoiled brats who think the world owes them something because the internet has given them access to information they falsely claim as knowledge and experience. It’s going to be a rough road for MANY!
The charism of healing in my case may present differently in others, for example that billionaire who a person feels entitled to in some way – God has embued them with the charism of inspiration which, if freely given and properly applied, can be received by an otherwise commoner; but you have to do your part, too. Without properly vetting the intention and readiness of another soul, nothing good can happen. And sloth, envy and so forth will block a person from receiving God’s grace and gifts / charisms through another person. Hence what increases bitterness and wrath in the common modern, lazy, entitled, tyrannically mediocre person.
Being embued with a natural gift of some sort from God does not make one person better than another. On nearly every phone call with a client I find myself saying things like “I am no better than you” to really reiterate my own humanity and short-comings so that they can properly bond with and trust my vulnerability. I don’t care, I have nothing to hide and will freely share my downfalls. So when I speak of gifts, I speak of them very objectively – all the same, they are real and must be understood.
There were times when I KNOW my sessions took more from me than I could handle; those were some of the biggest moments of growth for me, some of the hardest and loneliest, and they brought me closer to God. The loneliness came from knowing that many would never understand what was happening between myself and them, and how even simple conversation was a commitment of exchange – a true trade-off that I offered up to God on their behalf. This work has never been offered lightly and when someone has attempted to cross me the results have been disastrous – because of the purity of what I offer (the words of a therapist I’d seen to help support me through peak times in my career).
One thing I’ve also always had to make clear is, the God part of my work, the prayer part, has never been quantifiable – hence why I coach, consult and therapist-esque many hours with any individual and this is what my fees are based on. I’ve given away so much for free I don’t know where to begin. My clients know this. God knows this. I clarified this as well with the Catholic church as I needed to know they were “on board” with my format etc. I was ready to hear anything and everything – but to my surprise…I am “all good” with them. Again – I didn’t expect this as I would be willing to work in shoe store in Idaho if that is what God wanted from me. I will truly do whatever He wants and have always been willing.
Some might wonder how or why I’ve surrendered so much; I’ve had endless opportunities to marry well and rich since a teenager – no shortage of offers that would surprise everyone considering the paths I’ve taken. Some might wonder why I move so easily whichever way the wind blows according to what I hear GOD tell me. And all I can say is: I am here for the eternal life not the physical life.
Sure, I need to be in a certain energy and I like beauty – but all this does is enable what God has in store for me. The important particulars such as who, what, where, when, how and why are HIM. Not me. I am content with the gifts he’s afforded me so much so that the level of gratitude I feel inside keeps me full. This is not to suggest there are things that I desire or believe I desire that I am still talking about with Him. But, I trust Him and I always have. This was born from consistently being in terrifying and difficult situations since the time I was born – the only place I had to go was to God. And somewhere in my consciousness, he let me know it was all for a reason. I simply trusted that and now I understand it even better.
One of my favorite things about the Catholic faith is the routine dedication and commitment to taking self-inventory daily. I’ve always done this anyhow, but with less “permission” if that makes sense; and what I enjoy about it is the opportunity to self-correct if needed in terms of my path – of the who, what, where, when, how and why.
When God upheavals our life, it is easy to move into distrust. The true dark night of the soul. Where we feel abandoned by God and all but lose faith. This is purgatory of the soul in broad daylight. But it is where we are transformed into who He wants us to be, and it doesn’t happen overnight – usually it takes years. We may feel out of our body. As if were are never coming back. Except then we do. Many times, I’ve seen folks right before, and during this process – serving as a guide to explain the process as God intends and hold them through to the end until they feel that reconnection with the only entity that matters – God (and the holy trinity).
The last three years have been altering for everyone. If you feel like you are suffering or things are not going your way, consider the collective upheaval that God has allowed as a means to show us where he wants us to be. Unfortunately for your ego, it may not be where you are – or who you are with, or what you are doing. But you have two choices: let go or be dragged.
I wanted to write this article to express a piece of myself that I’ve only shared in short spurts in my blog which is a separate animal – an archive since the beginning of my work, many topics which have been ripped of and re-mixed by fake bandwagon “healers” whose SEO has conveniently replaced mine. Not to mention the now dozens of “Elaine’s” who have healing and “massage” practices – yes, my SEO used to dominate everywhere on page 1 so much so that my topics and name have been “borrowed” by those who want to cash in.
Most of my life I worried about being misunderstood and for obvious and understandable reasons. Though I am acutely aware of the vice of singularity and that no I am NOT special or more special than anyone else according to God, I am also aware that not every one of us is so easily read. Hey, I didn’t create me – God did. So if I or the next person is a riddle to you, that’s God’s doing and your opportunity to look in the mirror. As most people simply do not like what they don’t understand as it challenges their ego.
For those reading this who have a unique charism they find no external reflectionary understanding of, I hope this article is soothing for you. For the true healers God has embued with said charism who are private as God has intended this, I hope this article is healing for you. For what you hold inside you is real, it is different from what God has given the next person, and it is ok to be who you are and not be understood.
Visit my Healing Elaine® website here, my instagram here, my locals community for live chats here, and my personal and brand twitters here and here. I’m still “perma banned” on LinkedIn, for sharing a Fox News Clip about rona. If you are interested in my work, please leave a voicemail with your first name only (no texts) on the business line at 917.985.1221.
FRIENDLY DISCLAIMER: By visiting this website and reading healingelaine.substack.com you are aware of and agreeing to the fact that Healing Elaine® / Elaine is a Healer and Ordained Minister, but is not a physician, dietitian, nutritionist, or psychotherapist. Her advice, workshops, written content, and healing sessions are considered supplementary in nature and should not be a replacement for conventional medicine or psychiatric care. Please consult your physician or other licensed healthcare professional for any physical or psychological ailments you may be suffering or think you may have. By reading any content, attending any seminar, class or session provided by Healing Elaine® / Elaine, you acknowledge that in no event will (Healing Elaine® / Elaine) be liable in any way directly or indirectly for damages resulting from information, data, classes or healing sessions provided or for the loss of profits through the use or misuse of said information and data, either via its use, negligence or other actions.
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