what to expect from a “psychic” reading. what one is. what one is not. and things in between. ETC.

photo by Babita Patel for Forbes Magazine

my entire life I’ve been fascinated with psychic readings. when I was little there was a woman named Miss Cleo and she had a number and I would call it and get in trouble for racking up the phone bill. there were other numbers too, 1-900 numbers, and I enjoyed calling them. for example

my entire life I’ve also known things that I couldn’t possibly know, often being punished for knowing things that I didn’t even realize were true versus my “imagination”. once when I was 8, I got upset with my sister and I told her that if she wasn’t nice to me I would tell her friends she wet her pants that day. my mom got very upset and told me “how could you embarrass her like that after she had to leave school today for wetting her pants, no one needs to know why she left”. I had no idea she actually left school because she wet her pants, but I guess…I did? little seeming Freudian slips were and still are the norm for me in everyday life. I have to be especially careful when socializing. last year I went to hear a friend play music and while engaging with his friends in attendance whom I had just met, I casually mentioned to one of them that he might want to do xyz after the jaw surgery. he looked at me first with curiosity, and then with fear. I hate it when that happens.

I do not call myself psychic. recently a news outlet asked me if they could use that word and I said no. I don’t like the word. as it relates to MY work in particular, I feel it has a really negative connotation to it. and I don’t relate to it in the same way that others do, nor do I place it on some throne like many people do. “psychic” or “witch” does not mean one has special powers over ANYONE else. it also does not make someone better, or better-principled (in fact usually it does NOT) than anyone else. as we move into trend-ville of all things “psychic”, we completely lose meaning of the real meaning – as humans tend to do when they use ego to divide and conquer, or compare, by using certain words. and it annoys me, quite frankly.

when one is authentically and abnormally psychic, they generally do NOT want these qualities or “abilities”. I know of no true authentic overly psychic person who is jazzed about feeling and seeing so much. they prefer to hide. I don’t believe personally, for me, in training or “learning” psychic things; and yet, I DO support those who do. does that make sense? there have been plenty of people who have had a genuine interest in acquiring certifications for such and there are certainly respected individuals out there who offer such along with support. I’ve even sent folks, on recommendation, to certain individuals to get their psychic or xyz training certificates. so while I feel conflicted over the use of the word and, clearly the “art”, I do support anyone interested in pursuing something that assists them in assisting others – what I don’t support is the trendy ego that others use to promote something that so few of us actually understand from a core spore point of origin. and back to wanting these “abilities” — I would do anything to not have to feel so much, “know” so much, all of the time. I repressed tons of this natural state during my years of heavy socializing, and contrary to my peers, socializing would take me days to recover from. it still does. no matter who the people are. that’s another subject along the lines of empathy. but, “psychic” if you want to call it that, or knowing things and taking them in, is non-stop work. it’s not a totally normal life and it can feel very isolating.

when I speak with my contemporary Mystic Michaela who I met through a former patient of mine, we agree on how challenging the world is when everything that is “true” appears right in front of you. although some people think this “ability” is something to be coveted or accoladed, I don’t. and the reason is that, like all things, I believe “psychic” is relative. “psychic” isn’t some rare gift from God, because that would have to depend upon how those gifts are used. and they are not to be flaunted or used as benchmarks for defining one’s “power” or influence. nope. the word “psychic”, for me, is two things; it is 1) a pre-disposition that someone was given at birth and 2) a byproduct of how much someone works their CORE, and their INTEGRITY. there is that word again: integrity. and by integrity I mean integrity to one’s self, first and foremost. for most of us, this is a huge challenge. so then if we combine 1) and 2), we have an equation. the first part of the equation is relativity — however sensitive aka psychic we are, is relative to the rest of our life. we will have trade-offs. it’s not simply some gift. for example. Beyoncé has trade-offs. influential, otherwise deemed beautiful, and “have-it-all” people deal with RELATIVITY. perhaps things you nor I would or could ever handle. and so we would not choose it. a highly sensitive person is given the same trade-offs per relativity. sometimes this is extreme abuse in childhood. sometimes it is something else that is unthinkable to us as to how we would ever navigate. the second part of this equation is free will — or integrity. relativity plus integrity equals the kind of “psychic” you would want to hear from in the first place. the main thing about 2), the free will aspect, is that however xyz “psychic” lives their personal lives is the very filter via which your reading will reflect back at you. if they are muddy, the reading will be muddy. if they lie to themselves, your “guides” or their “guides” will lie to you in the reading. these are things that a “psychic” will not have conscious control over because they can not spiritually bypass the work. and there are then psychics who give you a clean reading because they wish to steal your free will, or, they are not evolved enough to know how dangerous stealing someone’s free will actually is. yep, there are lots of conundrums in the world of the glorified “psychic” notion that we see splattered everywhere nowadays. and I can promise you, that no, thousands of people did not wake up as “psychic-healers” overnight in the past few years. this is simply called trend, and it’s overdone.

so now to the reading portion of “psychic” or being a so-called “psychic”: there are also TONS of (“psychics”) people with these experiences and abilities, and they do not identify themselves. they have worked 1) and 2) of the above equation, to the best of their ability. they would never think of coming out of the closet. for many reasons. some of them are C-Suites. some of them work in politics. lots of them look totally normal, like your everyday human. they don’t want to be obvious, as their cloak is their ordinary life. some are schoolteachers, some are authors, and some are folks who live the ultra simple life, totally beneath the radar, because they remember other “times” in which their public gifts came with a lot of flak, and they just don’t care to utilize them in the same way at this point in time. the point is, “they” are everywhere. and “they” exist, because the past-present-future exits. huh? what I mean is, if you look at the study of time and space, we are always on the continuum of past-present-future depending upon our DNA signature as well as personal healing work/therapy and our point of focus. we are constantly an array of potentials, like a weather pattern. IN ADDITION, and this is the way I generally see things, we are all things that we have ever been and ever will be. for me, it’s like looking at a person and always seeing their highest potential. seeing what they have always been, and ever will be. but, if they are not willing to work with 1) and 2) of the above, their fate is up to them. when I see someone who is hardcore working 1) and 2), that is how I know for certain they will step onto their path on this physical lifetime continuum. stepping onto one’s path generally won’t happen for the spiritually or emotionally or the physically or psychologically lazy. then again, I’ve met folks who were literally struck by lightning and almost died, and this was part of their life map and now they are in purpose. because we are constantly working with infinite timelines, which is really like one, long life (just incorporating various deaths and rebirths in physical form), we can choose to be our “fate” now, or later. this can be a very important choice depending upon our purpose.

when someone reads you, there are contingency factors as pointed out above. I give big props to people who put themselves out there and are willing to call themselves psychics, when in fact, they actually are. when you actually ARE something, saying it is quite a battle and one can suffer for a time because it can feel like admitting something very sacred and private. so, please let me be clear in saying that for those who admit it because they truly are “psychic”, I support you. the next thing about being a “psychic” is that we are ALL evolving more and more toward truth. if you ask me what is my definition of the word psychic? I actually say: TRUTH. in order to be “psychic”, we must be willing to see the truth. it may not be the truth we want to see. we may not know why we see it. but we see it. I wrote about this a bit in my blog post about how we fail in life because we want to be liked. I’ve been there. I’m not there as much anymore. but you will see what I mean in that post. when I’ve told people outcomes that I see and feel in my core, I’ve tried to explain that no, this is not coming from an opinion. this is why I avoid discussing politics. the hits that I get are not opinions, but I see what is happening and why. I poked my head out ever so slightly regarding 2016 and people couldn’t get their head around how I “knew” without a doubt. I have plenty of “predictions” which I call knowings, for the future, but I tend to reserve them for myself. why? people are afraid of what they don’t understand. and part of my goal in discussing what is “psychic” is to dispel this fear around it, like it’s some super-power that only certain people have, and they should be bowed down to. nope. for me, psychic means getting as close to YOUR PERSONAL TRUTH as possible…therefore accessible to and by all timelines/realities…therefore seeing the “future”.

when we get as close to our personal truth as possible, we are less likely to be fooled by OURSELVES, for one. for another, if we actually read with someone who has done and is doing their personal best to serve on a sacred life level, the chances of our “reading” being on point is more likely. there are, for sure, “psychics” who I believe are straight from hell, from the so-called devil himself. and they have been planted here to challenge us, to expand us. TO SHOW US CONTRAST. to test us to see whether or not we know ego from truth. to see what we are willing to rely on, or surrender our own power and control to. when we surrender our own power and control, for ego purposes (control), for sure we will suffer. we will likely get the “best” “psychic” out there who totally robs our free will, giving us all kinds of illusions to cling to without actually doing the work.

if you really pay attention to the equation that I present above as 1) and 2), you will know how “psychic” readings work. just because something “doesn’t come true”, doesn’t mean you read with a “bad psychic”. it can mean many other things. and the more in tune you are with yourself, the more you will understand WHY. we place so much power aka blame and responsibility, outside of ourselves. all of the time. and we are being taught to stop doing this. BECAUSE WE ARE ALL POWERFUL. don’t let a subject that you don’t know a lot about, scare or intimidate or even overly entice you. sure, there are many people who are excellent at reading energy, and these are knowings that were assigned to them at birth for different reasons. there are many people who choose, with integrity, to follow these knowings and pick up certifications or learn how to harness what is intangible for them and feels so unharnessed. and on that note, I want to plug one of my former patients and friends, Maria Liu. she came to me over two years ago, and has grown leaps and bounds with the many infinite gifts she has — creatively, and “psychically”. one thing I see her practice time and time again, is personal integrity. this is key to life. she offered to read for me recently, and I was so warmed by how she does it. I would describe her readings as story-boarding — her way is her way, but the message is probably the same (if we are talking about truth here) as the next person’s, assuming they are also of truth…and that we, the person being read, is of truth. her website is  alternativereiki.org, and she asked me to include this bio when I let her know I would be including her in my blog:

Maria is a certified Reiki Master, Integrative Life Coach, Eriksonian Hypnotist and Clairvoyant. She chose this combination of modalities because of how effective they are in working on everything from the conscious, unconscious, physical, emotional to the energetic. Maria’s intention is to guide you to fast positive transformations by offering you insight and tools to maximize your power. Her style is gentle, supportive, yet deeply cathartic.

Although Maria loves working with everyone, she is particularly passionate about working with other writers, creatives, empaths and intuitives. At present time, a focus of hers is on empowering other women.

I am always up for recommending and applauding intuitives or, for the sake of this post “psychics” (and just because I don’t personally like the word to describe my work, does NOT mean I judge everyone else’s choice of its use. words are particular. and they matter depending on the person). I can recommend Maria based on my own reading with her, which was really just a joy of an experience. I’ll write about that in my yelp review for her. I’ve spoken about folks I worked with early on in Manhattan, like Patricia Masters (RIP) who was an incredible psychic, and also Allison The Rock Girl who is now in North Carolina and does workshops and retreats.

when I first palpably entered the “psychic” realm back in 2002, I was afraid of it. I met some really “gifted” (they knew things – that doesn’t make someone gifted, gifted is how they choose to USE “things”) “psychics”, and they were terrible people. I was sure that I wanted nothing to do with that space. but, I realize now of course that I was being tested. I was shaking out old psychological patterning of having my space invaded, and I was gifted with having my space invaded so that I would finally learn to draw a boundary. it’s been a life of work on that now, since the intangible planes really are so curious. when I first learned about stones, it was through Allison The Rock Girl around 2008. I remember her handing me two stones at a fair, and I was terrified — my third eye pulsed like nothing I had ever felt, and so did my heart…in tandem with my third eye. I didn’t like feeling out of control, and it reminded me of why I stayed “away” from these things. I felt a little bit out of control! but, I also knew…there was truth in the stones, or at least the experience I was having by proxy to them. as my fear, like that of most people who might think of such a word when they hear the word “psychic”, lessened, I further embraced the path I had been on in the 90s and early 2000s when I would “work” on people energetically and not know what to call it. stones are still not my ultimate interest or anything, quite frankly I just find them pretty and I like the way they feel, but I will say that I have opened my mind to them after meeting Allison. all the same, they feel more like pet rocks than anything else and they are really nice to look at. so yes, I have hoarded many! and I enjoy using them in my healing sessions.

if you are thinking of having a “psychic” reading, I would say GO FOR IT. it doesn’t matter what someone calls themselves (psychic, healer, intuitive, tarot reader, lawyer -lol). it also doesn’t matter if you end up having a reading with a “bad” psychic, or an unethical one — because either way, your guides are STILL communicating to you (just like they do in the ordinary world, with ordinary people)! no one can take that away from you. in addition, when we go for “guidance overload” as Caroline Myss refers to it, we do get slapped. I’ve gotten slapped at times, when I’ve wanted answers as a way to control something in my life, before allowing it to play out, simply because it was a painful situation. of course I know who to call for “answers” when I can’t get them myself — but I rarely do it anymore (and rarely feel the need anymore). and when I have done it, I’ve been yelled at such as by my upstate tarot reader who does cold cases for the police. there are laws, even on the intangible planes — ok ESPECIALLY in the intangible planes — that we simply are not allowed to violate. this is why my main wish is for people to better understand all things “psychic”, and demystify much of the hoopla around this word — there is a whole other world out there, and we are all already in it. so, we might as well get to work in understanding it.

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there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

before I begin to address the above subject(s), let me start by saying that it is important to me that no one confuse any actual mental illness or chemical imbalance with what I describe in this eBooklet. often times, particular “awakening” phases can mimic symptoms of true mental illness and it is important to know the difference. symptoms of a mystical/philosophical variety and actual mental illness can “look similar” and at the same time there are DISTINCTIVE differences. and, many people who are mentally ill or who do have a mental illness are characterized by denial – even and especially during full-blown symptoms. if you are having ANY experiences that affect your ability to function in the outside world for days at a time, i.e. sleep, eat, and socialize with others, and/or if you are hearing audible voices or feel paranoid, it is very important to consider a consultation with a good psychiatrist. you may just be in an awakening process, you may in fact have a chemical situation in your brain that needs support, or you may have BOTH happening at the same time! so, that is to say that NOT everything you are going through that could be considered “bizarre” or “unique” is in fact such; classic mystical and philosophical states have their own category outside of a mental health condition and you have to know how that may or may not apply to your overall condition. this is a very tricky territory for some people to navigate, especially since the “intangible” or “mystical” is typically faced with complete intolerance and indifference in the medical community, and my heart goes out to anyone in a position where they actually need treatment and medication. I cannot imagine the added difficulty it presents for them. sometimes a massive awakening presents as a one-time psychotic break that mimics an illness yet it is not an illness. many times, however, a psychotic break is the indicator of the onset of a life-long condition that needs attention.

one of my major goals in this life, especially during this time of awakening on our planet, is to provide support for distinguishing a spiritual awakening, ego death, and/or dark night of the soul from an actual mental health crisis. in doing so, the actual mental health crisis – whether separate or accompanying the processes I describe here – can perhaps be addressed in a more cutting-edge and more powerful/effective way by medical professionals. many of the medical professionals I know personally who work at a high level in the fields of psychiatry or psychology are actually sensitives/intuitives themselves, and they have been forbidden to go near esoteric subjects from the time they were studying at University. introducing the esoteric or intangible to the science and medical communities has proven extremely difficult in mainstream medicine and psychiatry. fortunately, there are brave souls and doctors how have put their reputations on the line and broken the mold. I am excited because more and more of these special individuals are coming forward to help bridge the gap. the stigma around mental illness and chemicals in the brain is still awful, and treatment measures could and will be a lot better than what they have been up until this point.

I also want to state that I, personally, have no history of mental illness. while I enjoy/ed reading scores of books on various conditions and discussing them with my friends who were/are mental health professionals, I never experienced what I know those who suffer from actual conditions experience. however if I was, you had better believe that I would be a major personal public advocate for mental health based on my own story. if you are suffering chemically, please have a look at amazing, inspirational people who have both accepted, addressed and overcome the challenges they have been presented with. here are two to start with, Miss Elyn Saks, and Miss Eleanor Longden.

there should be NO shame or fear around chemical matters of the brain, yet shame and fear seem to permeate so many beautiful and talented humans who do experience chemical imbalances in the brain. I will do my best, with my various sensitivities both emotionally and physiologically, Bridging the Gap Between Medical & Spiritual™

most of the people I see are in the middle of one of these three processes. depending on the person, the process will move “fast” or “slow” – and time is most certainly an illusion during these phases, so it might as well be irrelevant to discuss time. everyone wants to know “how long”? “how much longer do I have to go through this”? my answer is always the same: how much longer do you want to keep resisting?

until we surrender to the throes of something we don’t understand, haven’t experienced before and cannot control, we will remain in a painful state. which is the whole point of visiting that state in the first place! we were brought there to surrender. this is not something that humans typically do well. we are raised in a culture of control, and now more than ever a culture of instant satisfaction; instant knowing. instant controlling. this is not how the internal human experience is designed, though.

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spiritual awakening

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