why some men try to “take down” powerful women
I’ve actually experienced this my entire life. and it happened from my first breath.
power is an elusive concept, and if we are to consider the most basic differences between masculine and feminine energy — male and female energy — we understand that the biology of masculine generally wants to hunt, spar, achieve, win, prevail, protect, dominate…and the biology of feminine generally wants to feel safe, adored, protected, won, taken care of.
I believe that the inherent biology of the masculine and feminine remains unchanged, however energetic variances created by experiences and life purpose can mix with inherent biology and occasionally fracture the intrinsic desires of said “man” or “woman”.
and despite my open and potentially unconventional or unorthodox perspectives on a variety of things in life, I am rather traditional and conservative at heart. this is why being attacked and framed by certain men has been not only disgusting, but also bewildering to me.
string theory is real. when I work with a patient/client or easily observe my own life, I see the origin of the energy that has reverberated for years, decades and lifetimes. two things come into the picture to create this energy: life purpose and life experience.
life purpose will throw everything at you that opposes and challenges your God-given mission in life. for example, if you are to be otherwise extremely powerful or the best at something, you will be handed a set of experiences that very few people can make it through alive. this is how we either pass that test by the hand of God, or fail it — we either strive to understand our difficulty and pass through the eye of the needle, or we cower and hope for better luck the next lifetime around. in my personal life, and if you have been following this blog, I’ve had a specific path laid out for me. it is a path riddled with experiences and encounters which I know of no one else to relate to. I consider this my soul’s chosen mission in life, so that I may understand, transcend and provide understanding for others going through beyond average challenges. I am proud of how well I have done with this, and it has afforded me an incredibly honed set of skills that assist some super exceptional people. this, I consider, to be both the gift and the solace of my suffering.
my overall mission in life is and has been to understand all energies — tangible and intangible — and their spores. within this kaleidoscope of a mission, various themes present. and the theme of why some men try to “take down” powerful women is an interesting one that I have been understanding more as of late.
when I was little, my “caretaker” used to say to me: “you are the smartest person I have ever met”. I was their therapist, their marriage counselor, their surrogate wife, their scapegoat, their whipping boy, their shoulder to cry on, their body to savagely beat and abuse, their mind to warp and condition with their rapidly changing psychological states, their life force, their good luck charm, their best friend, their projection screen, and their innocence to tamper with as I was given terrifying books on child abuse at a young age — basically, to let me know how “good” I had it in the insane asylum that I was in. what I didn’t understand at the time, was that in order for all of this to happen — not to mention, for me to come out in one piece without ever completely fracturing psychologically and developing a mental illness or personality disorder (and believe me, I tried very hard to get a “label” in my 20s as I therapist hopped, as I was still praying that all I’d been through was somehow my fault and a label would confirm that and I would finally be rid of my anxiety) — I must have possessed something important: power. they called it “smart”; I call it power.
power is elusive, but it is intrinsic. just like no two snowflakes are the same, no two people and their relative power is the same. this is what I find power to be: integrity, love, faith, goodness, vulnerability, and even the broken barometer within that ALWAYS sees people as good. while some have suggested that my ability to always see the good in people first — even the worst people — is a problem, I don’t see it as a problem. the reason being, is that I always rebound from whatever they have (temporarily) taken from me. in addition, my purpose in life is not like yours, his, hers or the next person’s. so, one can not compare apples to oranges. with that said, I’ve noticed that the predominant percentage of folks I work with relate to my path as well as the theme of this here article. as a small being and child, I was unaware that all that was happening to me had anything at all to do with my power — because, of course, I felt I had NONE.
even the most basic person can understand that no one attacks or hurts someone (even an animal) who the attacker does not perceive as being more powerful. in this sense, you might consider love or the true essence of light and goodness as the ultimate power — I do. in this sense, one does not need to do anything, rather they just …. are. the very act of BEING is enough to throw an otherwise hopeful masculine energy into a tizzy. and sure, masculine energy exists in many women — in fact, I have a lot of it.
secure men, healthy men, do no attack women. attack can be anything — via gossip and slander, via physical or sexual assault, via gaslighting and psychological or emotional abuse, or otherwise 5d chess theft. I’ve noticed that the more intelligent the man suffering from deep inadequacy as my “caretaker” surely did, the craftier they are in achieving their desired result from their target woman…life force.
the tactics through which these men like to try to take down powerful women are VAST. and over the last year or so, I’ve seen some new shades of such. one thing that I have come to understand, outside of the latter, is that it is important for me to be with a man who is more powerful than me in at least one major way. in the past, I not only repeated cycles from my childhood but I actively chose men who could not hold a candle to my purpose in life. it was unconscious, and it was also perhaps an effort to feel safer by avoiding someone who could take care of me — as the threat of being taken care of was greater than the idea of being abused or taken from in some way. as I worked through my fears around intimacy and partnership, I began to notice OTHER ways — past and present — that some men like to target powerful women. and they are really amusing/disappointing.
first of all, there is a particular type of man who is triggered by a powerful woman. this is really important to note. I’ve found that the MOST triggered (though they are not the ONLY kind) are those who are of the drifter and grifter variety. they tend to be outcasts of some sort, but smart enough to fit in and maybe hold a regular job for a time. ultimately, they either need to work for themselves or go off the grid because of their mood swings (which can happen in private without ANYONE knowing) and dishonest living. they steal and take from others (again: this can be completely veiled, and often they are never found out on this front). they tend to surround themselves with other men (because women are so triggering and threatening to them), or a super compliant (victim) or equally evil woman/man as a partner.
after my early years on this planet, I began to witness (and later and only recently recall) men who like to take down powerful women … just because. when I was 16, I was at a high school party. a boy I knew (same age) from elementary school was there, and he looked at me funny. I hadn’t see him since I was about 11. he was a star athlete, and I always thought, as well, to be a nice guy. as I socialized in the dining room of this house party, the hostess (one year older than me) came running toward me in a rage. she was screaming at me to “get out”. I had NO idea what was going on, but it was oh-so-reminiscent of my entire childhood. in tears, I left and walked across her front lawn. she followed me out, screaming after me, and asking me why I made fun of her house. I had no idea what she was talking about. I told her, tears streaming down my face, that I had no idea what she was talking about. for some reason, she noted the sincerity and said to come back in the house. I don’t recall going back in or not. the next week at school, one of the boys who had been at the party told me that it was a set up. a WHAT? he said that the 16 year old boy I hadn’t seen since elementary school pulled him aside, and said “want to see a fight?” … and just moments later he almost got his wish. long story short, this “nice boy” from elementary school — still a popular, attractive star athlete — had decided to set me up as a victim for show. he told the hostess of the party that I had shamed and made fun of her house that night, while I was a guest in it. there was no legitimate motivation behind his behavior. I had never dated him or slighted him. we were childhood friends. I never saw it coming. at the end of the day, he was just a mean kid. in fact, fast forward to now, he’s a miserable man approaching middle age. divorced with two kids, a loser. but what would call for him to do such a thing to me?
if I’ve seen this once, I’ve seen it a thousand times. the house party episode only echoed my past, and it laid the foundation for me to understand the future. what calls for these “take-downs” is an immediate awareness of a power imbalance between the man and a woman in his periphery who overpowers him in some way. there are infinite reasons/triggers around this. the elusive part of it is, that many of these men appear to be high-functioning or even are. but whatever the core reasons are (some people, as I’ve stated repeatedly are intrinsically evil and born this way), the surface element is that this man is being reminded of a power that is traditionally and biologically reserved for the masculine — and something has gone awry in connecting that man to this power. perhaps the greatest egotistical injury for this man is feeling a feminine energy that has managed to integrate a quality traditionally reserved as a survival mechanism for him…a power which he refuses to / can’t access.
women do this too — attack and try to “take down” others — but I want to highlight the nuanced and often blatant differences I’ve noticed in men who are / feel powerless and respond in particular to this threat when faced with a powerful woman. the very observation of a powerful woman disrupts and almost negates their entire existence.
as I got older, I saw this in many of my dating experiences, but the tactics were boring because they were familiar. the tactic used by that 16 year old boy was not so familiar. and in recent years, I’ve noticed familiar/unfamiliar tactics, if that makes sense — in other words, experiences with weak and disempowered men in general brought full circle for me the psychology of the wounded man in a way that still was, perhaps, not safe enough for my mind to recognize or understand earlier. due to a lifetime of being called to understand, master, and shift this lesson.
for example. I began to notice that nothing irritates one of these men more than a powerful woman helping them. they both CRAVE AND RESENT IT. at first, they are flattered — overjoyed, even. a number of years ago, I came across one of these wounded men (whose true wounds I couldn’t spot at the time) and I was in my old pattern of wanting to “uplift”, “inspire”, even save (unconsciously so) a man. I have never been an internet person — meaning, I rarely engage in meeting people off of the internet or conversing with a person I’ve never met. this man was hoping to become a self-help person, and I related to their subject matter as they had an online platform. since I had written my two college application essays (and later accepted into both Boston schools) on narcissism and the psychology of abusive and crazy parents, and I had been advising people for a decade at that point, I felt that I could relate to his pain. I donated money to this man, having never even met or spoken to him. I felt community in shared experiences of past abuse and trauma, as I was releasing a TON of healthy anger that year. I literally handed this person notes of inspiration as well as money. I completely missed the mark in seeing that they were crazier than an ox, deeply wounded, and more vicious than their own perpetrators. of course, it wasn’t until they came after me that all of the red flags popped up. this was, obviously, a way for me to heal and learn from my past. working with clients is one thing — I can see the whole picture clearly. but when it comes to my own life, since I’m an actual human being, my pscyhe has some blindspots so that I may actually MOVE THROUGH experiences in real time. anything else would be a blatant spiritual bypass, and this is why I haven’t even gone the ayahuasca route. I digress.
the crazy man, who I didn’t know was crazy at the time and who was quite frankly an aspected projection of my early abuse, stalked and harassed me as soon as press about me / my business surfaced. I was praised and recognized and he wasn’t. they pulled a 180. my assistant received death threats — because I was successful. imagine! they were seethingly jealous, and triggered beyond belief. my genuine kindness elicited a fire within them — and the truth that they are not who they say they are. kindness does that. kindness is a light. and a dangerous one, if someone is secretly and dangerously unhinged and you show them parts of themselves that they have never seen before — because you are powerful. see here. and while the crazy man acted similarly to the 16 year old boy I once knew, there would be others just like him who, at first, drank my energy and kindness like crack cocaine elixir only to resent it a short time later…
the resentment comes from the realization that too much is never enough for them. it’s like they max out on a high that they can’t get anymore. I have no doubt that was a major component for my “caretaker” as a small child. for the tactics were ample, many, constantly changing, brutal and yet this person could only survive on them for a number of years. when a weak man spots a powerful woman, they are initially enamored. though it may not be romantic in nature, it often feels like love at first sight for them — from an energetic perspective. they are coming face-to-face with an energy that is deeply missing within them — perhaps their mother stole it from them (often the case) and they don’t know how to get it back. or, their father did so. or, they are simply evil (less often the case, but quite possible). since the masculine energy by nature is less intuitive, the aggravation and jealousy is more intense in a different way than it would be for a woman in the same dynamic — for they lack the understanding of their confusion and disposition, and this paired with their innate anger is an atomic bomb.
there are two types of men who try to “take down” powerful women. the smart, and the stupid. the smart are more dangerous. because they can hide in plain sight. from the world. temporarily, at least. the stupid act like the 16 year old boy and the crazy man I mentioned – they have no self control, no critical thinking capabilities, no emotional regulation, and again they are just not smart. the smart are a different variety. they are too smart to act out, on the outside. they keep their seething anger and jealousy veiled, and again: you don’t even need to DO anything to provoke it. actually, wait a minute…YOU DO. all you need to do is: be kind. be flattering. and not because you have any agenda, but because you genuinely mean it. it is in your kindness, that the ultimate light surrounds them…initially causing them to feel like king of the world. UNTIL…they confuse your power with theirs!
not too long ago, I reached out to a man I had never met. I had heard about some troubles he was going through, and I related to them. they were on a larger world scale, and I felt connected (once again) to their challenges. all I wanted to do was help them. just like I wanted to help crazy man. you would think that I would have learned something from crazy man. in any event, I felt that I had the resources to help this person. and, I did. I reached out, offering a lot and asking for NOTHING (other than community, relatability), and what I got in return was yet another crazy person. do you know the number one way to spot a crazy person? I’ll tell you: THEY DON’T TRUST ANYONE. now, I trust everyone. again, call it a weakness, call it a vulnerability, I don’t care. I will never change just because of a few stupid and crazy people. in any case, this person trusted no one. they raided and invaded me electronically and otherwise. they lied. they caused me unthinkable stress. when they say “no good deed goes unpunished”…it’s often true. but it wasn’t just that. in order to “cover” for their bad behavior, they had to find another way to “hide” so that they may still exist in the world. they worm-tongued me. when a smart person worm-tongues you, you have to just pray to God. these people are like serial killers. they’ve done this their entire life. it is their survival. they will go to the press, to the IRS, to your phone carrier, to anyone and anything that they think will put you under their energetic thumb. they want to outcast and isolate you. and the reason? again: it’s simply that they lack power. I really had a knack for running toward the most disempowered people and even worse, confusing their challenges that I shared with them, a bonding point.
and the thing is, I don’t want to stop bonding with people who I share challenges or global missions with. but, I needed to learn about how smart some of these men are, and WHY they try to “take down” powerful women. as was in the case of the super-smart crazy man, they always have an ultimate blindspot: ARROGANCE.
smart crazy man was one of the last who I came across, as I decided to go more inward after that. [side note: it is important to note how insidious and alarming your power will be for these people. I once had a police officer (in the case of the stupid crazy man) ask me if I had dated this person. no! in fact, I was so threatening to them that I can guarantee they never would have been able to meet me in person.] I had learned the first red flags of a smart crazy man, and that is that they trust no one (especially women). they are cagey. they are inconsistent. they re-write rules and history based on their audience or whomever they are talking to. and most of all, they resent women with power and access. the smart crazy man who came after me so covertly worm-tongued me in an effort to shut me out of a community that I needed and need. HOWEVER: if this happens to you, take solace in knowing that ANYONE who lines up with / agrees with someone who has worm-tongued you is just like them! even if they don’t seem like it. a while ago, I wrote a post about why you should be grateful for your haters. it’s legit. I welcome the haters, the crazy…because when they speak, and in particular if they have a large platform, the harder they fall when they are exposed. and they are always exposed. smart people who are NOT crazy (by the way, crazy and evil go hand-in-hand) will simply not resonate with these fools. it is impossible for the smart crazy man to prevail when he tries to take you down…because he’s only as functional as those who match him…and ultimately because all things that ever have been WILL ALWAYS BE, he can not change who he is.
your job as a powerful woman is to 1) remain unchanged — do not stop trusting 2) be willing to encounter this over and over and over again — your soul is shedding an old, old lesson! and it is bleeding, somehow, into your life’s purpose 3) understand how the tangibles and intangibles of power relate to men and women – and when you are dealing with a crazy man, the likelihood of an attempted take-down is much higher.
why some men try to “take down” powerful women: you represent to this crazy man the fact that he has either wittingly or unwittingly rejected the very power that you possess – and it is the ultimate egocentric injury as you walk with a power traditionally reserved for the masculine. it’s like adding insult to injury. perhaps you are a woman with a very masculine aka powerful energy — beware of the unhinged man.
so who are the men who will not try to take down powerful women? for starters, they are trusting. they have no problem promoting the work, beauty (intrinsic), or being of a woman because it does not threaten their actual power (since they have it). they do not become overly enamored with you, because they aren’t lacking something intrinsic. they do not idolize or pedestal you right away, because they aren’t trying to swap energies with you and claim yours. they are consistent in thought, opinion, and behavior — in other words, they are not erratic grifters or men who always end up going off the beaten path. they are able to work with others and build healthy communities. perhaps most important and most obvious, they do not specialize in take-downs! they are focused on building and promoting others — women included.
I write this because I think it can be and is often very hard to spot a wounded man who covers it up with masks that the general population can not see. you are one of the lucky ones, too, if you do not have preexisting wounding around father figure or masculine caretaker — you are less likely to attract this energy and it’s not part of your life’s path, which should be a relief. powerful men who marry powerful women are safe. aggressive men who look for women to fix them, support them, have their children, but always be less than them, are not safe. pay attention to the either fragile or cohesive ego with men. though some may act out (the stupid crazy man) making it easier to spot, others will play a really intense game…these are the smart crazy men…and before you know it, people who you know in common will temporarily stop talking to you. because you’ve been worm-tongued. and, if this has happened or happens to you, sit back with strength and smile…for the truth always emerges and those who can think for themselves ALWAYS spot truth. you will know this because they will gravitate toward you, not away from you. smart men look for facts, smart men are in touch with their intuition, and smart men are just not jealous of or codependent on a powerful woman.
like everything else at this time, karma is immediate. the physics of our very planet, as I wrote about in eBooklet 4, is bringing forth truth at unprecedented levels. the more you know yourself, the greater your advantage in life as far as knowing that truth and goodness prevail. like everything else, the men who try to “take down” powerful women are falling and will continue to fall.
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