it is worth your effort: taking just one small step a day will absolutely change your life

when I was 7 years old, I was standing in the back of a church in New York and a mirror came crashing down right in front of me. no one else was in the room. it just…fell over. it was a full length mirror, and it was propped up against the big wall that separated the chapel and pews from the back room used to organize weddings etc. I recall thinking, very specifically, “shit. I have exactly another 7 years of bad luck. I thought I was almost done with this since I’m 7 now”. yes, I was 7, and I thought this.

the early part of my life is one for a book or two, so I won’t digress here with those details. to put it simply, I wanted out. so here I am, in this church, somehow I had heard that broken mirrors are 7 years of bad luck, and I actually believed that something like that caused my entire life up until that point. there was no otherwise level of intellectual or psychological understanding available to me for why everything was so miserable all of the time. as I looked at this shattered mirror, I just “knew” it would be another 7 years of hell. and I was right.

I was not old enough to make “agreements” in a conscious or affirmative sense, or go for self-help or figure out how to “change my thoughts” — I was 7. so I just accepted that the reality that had always been for me, behind closed doors but sometimes not, would continue. I recall going to sleep each night, waiting to turn 14. perhaps then, the bad luck would end, and I would live a different life.

“just 4 more summers”, one of my “caretakers” would say to me, specifically and intentionally about the hardship in my life that I could not physically or mentally escape — meaning, when I turned 18, I could escape the hell that I lived in. they knew it. I knew it. and yet no one helped me. it was a lock and key secret known only to those who partook in it, wittingly, or unwittingly. and after 14, my life didn’t change. I was trapped. until I was an adult.

when I turned 18, I wanted to run like the wind. I remember my first day “out”. as I sat in my college dorm room, a tremendous peace washed over me. I feel asleep sitting up. I recall being stunned that I was relaxed enough to fall asleep sitting up as it had never happened before. the kind of freedom I felt was unmistakable. I had made it through my early life with thankfully no mental illness, no personality disorder, and just enough of “something” to even have a chance at being a healthy adult. when I finally found my current therapist a few years ago, she specifically asked me: “how did you make it through?” – and I said “faith”. it was always my faith in what I could not see, that I believe kept me alive inside (and outside). I had always felt another presence, whether you want to call it God or source energy or the Universe or…whatever. it was always in my darkest moments that I felt this ENERGY, that I knew something was waiting for me on the other side of darkness…I now realize my faith was and is my PURPOSE.

after 18, everything felt possible. it was like having the lights turned on or seeing in color for the first time ever. I felt like Dorothy in Oz. I was also probably a young child at 18, because I had repressed so many things in order to survive psychologically and emotionally. I like to call myself a “late bloomer”, because I always was. with everything. and at my age now, when most of my peers have several children, I am just starting to think about that. I feel like I’m on a decade or two delay and it all makes sense to me. there are both downsides and upsides to this, but I don’t really think about the downsides. I am ecstatic about my life right now.

as I entered my mid-20s, shit really hit the fan for me. I left the phase of being elated to being free from what I can only describe as a living hell, but I entered the phase in which one must sort through the files and organize them — better known as ptsd. I did not realize that since I was a very small child, and even THROUGH my point of elation at 18 and beyond, that I woke up in a panic every single night and morning. my anxiety and sensitivity was so strong, it was a part of my survival and a part of ME. it had to be. when I discovered that my being and core did not match my experiences, I was thrown for a loop. I knew what I was, but what I WASN’T was so deeply lodged and rooted within me that the dissonance felt crippling. I could see my potential, but my only knowing was the opposite to that. I recognized the depths of the work that I would have to do in order to ever feel normal, peaceful, and happy as I began to “wake up” in my 20s. I could no longer hide behind the red cape that the Universe had often provided for me to protect my psyche as much as possible, as a child. SHIT!

I began by reading as many self-help books as possible. I had initially started with a degree in Psychology at Northeastern University. heck, I had even written my entrance essay on narcissism. when I started the classes though, I felt like they were missing something. the boxes felt restrictive, I didn’t resonate with the teachers, and I also did not connect to the students in these “classes”. I dropped that, and kept being pulled to the creative. which makes sense, because years later when I treated psychologists on my own in my current practice, I saw how many of their creative and quantitative potentials needed balancing. intelligence is not found in books, even the ones on ivy league desks — it is found within our very being. anyhow, it became my mission in life to 1) have fun and 2) fix myself. and I began doing so, both wittingly and unwittingly, at the same exact time.

when I hit 25, I was probably at my lowest. and this continued for a while. no, I did not have any addictions. I never had issues with food. I never slept around. I never used drugs. something in me KNEW: you will only recover if you are of sober heart and mind — you will get through this without any shortcuts. this knowing led me directly to successfully helping many people in my current practice. of course yes, during my hardest times, I loved a good party and drank frequently. at one point I even wondered if I had a problem. I went to a few AA meetings and found that my best meeting was Alanon – the counterpart of AA. booze became irrelevant and as I focused on my goals I even forgot about it. either way, I was at the peak of my beginning emotional mountain of healing, and it just felt like it would take forever. I was still having night terrors, I would jump and drop things at the slightest sound, and the ptsd was off the charts. I experienced tremendous transference in a couple of my romantic relationships, and that was my greatest turning point…

I reached a point at which I never wanted to be the person who I was trained to feel I was. right before we reach this point, we can really go either way — and I totally see people when they do this! — we can stay where we are and lie to ourselves about our life, or we can start anew. starting anew is terrifying. it feels like it will never happen. we get maybe a few years into our “new” life, and we might wonder “what the heck have I done? I am never going to feel better — I would be better off just going back to my old life”…but we can’t. once we begin to wake up, and we make the conscious decision to TRY, we can not go back. I think perhaps this is why some people kill themselves. because it is easier. notice I did not say better, I said easier. and it’s true.

each year that passed as I began to wake up, I was confronted again with a dual reality: my programming, and who I could become. both realities were running in tandem and it was painful. all of my training was being ejected, and I was confronted with the “past” through the present like wildfire. I kept thinking I was doing something wrong. I kept feeling like the past and all of its dysfunction and abuse and chaos would never leave me, because I still didn’t FEEL different. I was doing all of this internal work, yet I still felt…the SAME.

as a year passed here and there, I did notice progress. but it wasn’t enough. then I had to learn something that I relied on as a child: faith. I had to re-learn faith. it was at that point that I learned to be PRESENT. this was a huge gift. because no matter how I was feeling, and how much I felt things would never change, I could at least carve out 5 minutes a day to be present. whoa! typically in those times of learning to be present in a new way, “good” things would follow. more bad people would leave my life (and you can be sure that yes, more bad ones came in! the Universe was not done teaching me), and I would move forward in life in some way — always on the inside, and then the outside would just match it. maybe it was a goal, maybe it was a better relationship or something.

but then I would again hit those moments when I would think: “I’ve been too damaged – nothing will ever change for me”. and this is what I want to address in this post, because those moments were hard. they felt real. I still have them sometimes, but I have changed far too many things in my inner hence outer world to long-term feel them or believe them. and here is what I want to say. the centimeter of thought that you shift or move around even just one particular belief in your life WILL change your life. and it will be like watching your hair grow. but it will start to change it. it will happen in your sleep. it will happen while you are laughing. it will happen while you are crying. it will happen when you are in yoga class or when you think you have hit a new “bottom”. but it will happen. your intention to change what is not yours, to escape the perils of your mind which are conditions that you were FORCED to live in just to survive, is everything. sometimes months pass like this and then we wake up and see a brand new chapter or world for ourselves. and sometimes years pass and we see this. usually it runs on aspects of change, such as “oh my God, I have a really healthy romantic partnership and it’s not an unconscious fantasy because I’ve done the work” — or, “I did it, I got that promotion because I believed in my value and I never thought this would happen” — or, “oh my gosh, I stopped shaking at work every time that person who reminds me of my abusive caretaker comes around!! progress!!”. and sometimes, this change runs in full circle change…

a few years ago, it occurred to me that I didn’t have to change just ASPECTS of my life — I could change my ENTIRE life. I could change all of my agreements. but how? at first, I thought about the years of work that I put in around old feelings (born from agreements I needed to survive upon) and changing them, in order to change PARTS of my life. it was an overwhelming amount of work, and sometimes years went by when it looked like nothing was happening, but then it DID. I knew how possible change is, especially by working with others who have been through unthinkable psychological torture. I knew how it all worked, beyond traditional psych and some of the cuckoo therapists who call themselves helpers (and from different vantage points, I’ve met many). and I decided that I would change my ENTIRE life. and I made a decision. I chose me, and then I waited…

each day that I woke up, or in the middle of the night, I noticed who I “was” because I had to be in order to survive, and the person I truly was/am all along. I began to notice again, that I had night tremors and around the clock panic that was buried SO deep, that it felt like part of me. when I began to see even more deeply what was already there, it was like turning on another set of lights for the first time. I made certain decisions to disconnect from abusive relationships and it changed my entire world. for the better, obviously. I leaped, and the net appeared each time I leaped. but I had to leap first. and this was hard, because there is no insurance on that net appearing. and I focused, every single day, just as I had in my past in “aspected” healing of myself, on refining that one thing that I wanted to heal from. many days felt like treading water, but I kept one thing alive: faith. what was my alternative? we all know — going…back. I will never go back to living that way.

I am here to say that since I began to “wake up” in my 20s, and really, age 18 feels like the first day I was born, I have had to learn to do everything differently and it is worth every effort. some of the most basic things that seem simple for everyone else are not for others of us. they are not supposed to be. we all have different handicaps depending upon where we have been. and I want to say that it is worth your effort, wherever you are. there is always a healthier, more aligned and more loving place to be. and as you struggle for days or months or years on end, I promise that if you do not stop — if you keep working toward who and what you intrinsically are — you will shake off what you are not. underneath what you are not, is your wildest dreams.

we are not rewarded for our fleeting efforts, rather we are rewarded for our intentions. intentions are life-long and can not be fleeting. if it is fleeting, then it is not an intention! it is a fake intention. it is a sham, and we are trying to con the Universe into giving us something. it doesn’t work that way. the Universe rewards hard work. it knows our true intention. and if there is one thing I have learned, it is that I will stick with my intentions until I die. as I do so, I wake up to a newer and better reality each day — even as things are falling apart. and that is the interesting part — things are falling apart constantly, as the direct result of my efforts. if I did not know better, I would be in an old mindset of simply agreeing to the fact that I was being overpowered by an abusive force because I deserved it. now I know that the explosions around me are there to protect me, to direct me, and to reward me for my efforts. rewards do not always look like rewards.

if you are challenged with something — an eating disorder, a drug problem, “depression”, etc — just like I was challenged with an incredible amount of psychological, physical and mental ptsd that manifested as non-stop anxiety and partial rescuer-syndrome, know this: you are not your feelings. if you chip away at your life, keep getting up every day, not expecting anything from the Universe but knowing it will come by the law of physics, you will see what I mean. keep in mind that the Universe has no sense of time and space, so often it will organize events around timing that feels unfair or bizarre to you. trust in it. it is not all about you or each of us as an individual, because we live on a planet with many other people. if I had come out of the “spiritual” closet in my early 20s as I briefly intended to do, it would have been the wrong time. for me, but for everyone else too. timing is a funny thing.

keep moving. surrender to the process. get up each day and just do your best. I promise that you are going to wake up another day, as I have, and feel that your life is a beautiful dream that you only once fantasized about (even while shit is hitting the fan, because I can promise you that part will never stop! the way you feel about it, will though). each day that I chip away at my overall process as I referred to above, old realities fall away and I move into the realm of what is truly possible — the things I dreamt about as a child. related mostly to the work I do now. but there is so much more than where it tangibly stands at this moment in time…and that “so much more” is starting to flood in, in the most remarkable and exciting ways. and this is in a direct and opposing 180 degree turn from my former reality. the only constant that I maintained in order to get here today is faith. faith is the glue from one reality to the next.

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my first experience/the first time I consciously felt kundalini energy

photo by Jennifer Santaniello

once upon a time, I was immediately post-college and post massive awakening — huge ego death, my life had crumbled around me in every way possible, and I truly entered my first CONSCIOUS dark night of the soul (you can read about it here in my eBooklet 1). I had moved back to the Northeast where I was raised, and I was trying to stabilize my life — i.e. get a good/boring job, find a place to live and pay my rent, and daydream about my next steps.

before I had moved back to the Northeast, and during my period of substantial change and chaos, I often ventured out on the town (alone). I loved being alone! (still do). I never knew what the night might hold in terms of who I would meet, or what energy I would feel in xyz space. I would turn on music, pre-party alone, and head out in one of my wild outfits (during this time I also wore a lot of fake hair — a LOT of it) that made me feel like a character in a marvel movie. one night I went to this particular spot that was the spot of the moment. it was always filled with well-known actors, musicians and athletes, and I loved peering in on their world. I didn’t want to be part of it (because I knew what it entailed and either it wasn’t for me, or it wasn’t my “time”), but I did like being around it. I liked being invited places with those people because I found them super interesting and my energy felt safe with other “weirdos” who had somehow “made it”. at this one spot as I refer to above, a man approached me. usually I kept to myself, danced alone in a corner, and just enjoyed observing. on this particular night, I spoke with this very well-mannered, well-dressed man. actually, he was too well-dressed. I almost felt like a peasant around him, lol. he also smelled VERY good. to this day I do not know what flavor of cologne he sported. everything about him was special, worldly, and…intense. he was a laid back guy, had traveled the world, owned hotels in various spots, C-suited/worked in like 3 different industries which were totally unrelated, and rubbed elbows with really incredible people. I kept wanting to understand how he got to where he was, as he was the truest unicorn I had ever met. he was older than me, maybe 15-20 years. I was about 23 or so at the time. while I found him attractive and all of the above, I was not attracted to him. I also found him to be old, lol. in my early 20s I thought that 30+ was dinosaur territory, and I also thought that there was something possibly wrong with anyone who was single over 30. again, lol. anyhow, my new friend made it clear that he had traveled the world and never met an energy like mine before. he was interested. and so at the time, and perhaps for years after that, I just thought that compliment about my energy and being was a come-on. but his words/compliment would resonate super loudly later on…

after a series of explosive bombs and warfare ignited in my internal and external worlds, a couple of years had passed and we were still in touch. he had a to-die-for apartment spanning the penthouse of a wall street building, and he invited me for a night out on the town. I had always felt safe with him despite his interest in me, because he never once made me feel uncomfortable. he took care of me like an older brother would. I did not realize, at the time, how potentially rare it was for a grown man to spend time with a female he was interested in, and ask nothing of her other than platonic friendship. at any rate, we went out for my first night on the NYC town in years. we went to all of the “see and be seen” spots, and back then before social media destroyed the social night life, this was a really great scene. it attracted energy based on actual attraction, not promotion. there was a vibe, in certain places, that can’t be artificially created. as we ordered our first drinks — vodka cranberry — we took a sip and went to the dance floor. within moments he began talking to someone and I began to feel something I’d never felt before. my entire body began to flood with light. I don’t know how else to describe it. I had never taken a party drug before, and certainly never encountered anything that had made me feel that good, and the only thing I could compare this feeling to was being on a ton of pain killers post surgery. but it was beyond even that. as I stood with my drink, feeling this pure ecstasy, I immediately got nervous that I had been slipped a drug. which was nearly impossible. my friend was a health nut, didn’t believe in drugs, and woke up every day at 5am to do yoga at sunrise. I put my drink down and kept feeling my body. I felt so good that I was afraid. it contradicted almost everything I had ever felt in my life, up until that point. I looked around the room again for anyone who might have been the culprit of this intense high I was feeling out of nowhere. I could not pinpoint it, and I almost wanted it to stop because I had no control over knowing the source or the reason for this feeling. at some point the feeling passed, I mentioned it to my friend, and we went back to his incredible penthouse. he let me know that he doesn’t invite people over, not even close friends, because he didn’t want their “energy” in his space. again, I thought he was just trying to compliment me. I went to sleep in his guest room, and I recall feeling just very good and safe. I woke up at 530am to use the bathroom and I saw him doing yoga through his bedroom door. then I went home and forgot all about the experience I had that night.

a couple of years later, I was still forging my path of difficulty and working many different jobs. my interests were so varied and I was concerned that I would never amount to anything on paper because I was pulled in so many different directions. after working in finance and corporate trade and barter, and then advertising, I jumped ship to be my own boss. one of my next “jobs” was photo-doubling on a TV show. I had some direction, but it was all foreign territory and most people around me didn’t understand what I was doing or why. one day on set, my body began to buzz again. loud. I immediately flashed back to the experience that I had with my older man friend that night, in the nightclub. I thought well, ok, definitely no one has slipped me any kind of mind or body altering substance, and I remember this feeling. as I sat on breaks on set that day, I began googling like a maniac. I came across kundalini rising. BAM. things started to make sense…I consciously understood what was brewing inside of me.

I looked back at the time that I met this special man. I recalled his overwhelming resonance with my energy field. I recalled being at my rock bottom in all ways in life, feeling like a complete mess, but recognizing that people still wanted to be around me….??? I thought about how during that phase of destruction, there was a new energy birthing inside of me. I couldn’t recognize it at the time, but others sure did…I realized that this first period of tremendous difficulty in my life was maybe somehow connected to this…kundalini thing I was reading about!? but what was it? I connected the first set of dots and realized that my chakras were experiencing a cleansing during the time that I met my friend. they continued, during my years of difficulty, to clear. and when we reconnected a couple of years later, I was able to “meet” the energy that he had recognized in me, but that I could not yet see in myself. I HAD to call him from the TV set that day…

my eyes began to well up as I understood the fact that he “saw” me. I realized that it was more than a physical or intellectual attraction to/from him. and I realized that the power of his being intimidated me, though I loved being around it. as I reached out to him that day on set, I told him “my entire body is buzzing — I think I am experiencing a kundalini awakening/rising, do you know what that is?” we had never spoken about kundalini or many such words that the average person doesn’t throw around in their vocabulary. he said to me “this is the energy that we have been sharing since the day that we met”. even writing this makes my eyes well up with tears. this was the first “real” connection that I had with another human being, and I was so young. I had nothing to compare it to. he was there to prompt some of my own energy that no one else could prompt. this is real, by the way. we all have meridian lines that only certain people can help us ignite. we are equal in rights not in energy. know this!!!

looking back at this period of my life, I feel great affection for it. I had not realized at the time, how special this man was in my life. he also seemed “too good”, if that makes sense. I never thought I could measure up to his class, his achievements, his worldly knowing, etc. I would not say that I felt inadequate, but perhaps just rather in awe. and as I recall our encounters I shudder in the resonance that he “saw” me the whole time. even when I did not see myself. and if he had explained what that truly was at the time, I would not have understood it anyhow. he knew and understood things that I did not, during that time. and he let me be. because he didn’t see me, he saw…ME. my first experience with kundalini involved being seen. SEEN.

our processes are always met with the right people and the right energies, at the right time. someone may be assisting us in ways that we will not understand until much later in life. knowing how divinely ordered this seems to have been in my life brings me tremendous peace. even on my worst days. understanding the chaos as well as the bliss brings me tears of joy and gratitude.

kundalini energy is something that we share with a certain soul group. this is my belief, I have not read that belief anywhere else (yet). and again it is because we are each so different in our energetic make-up. sometimes we “stumble” upon one of its group members during a strange time in our life. I have concluded that it is usually during a chaotic time. and the person we will stumble upon will have already passed through the eye of the needle. and in doing so, when the two energies connect, the seasoned energy can hold space for the person who has no idea what is about to hit them/their life. it’s fucking beautiful.

 

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so, you take issue with the Kardashians? the joke is on you.

so, you take issue with the Kardashians? the joke is on you.


photo by Babita Patel, April 2017 – blog post from May 2016

when we are obsessively focused upon someone or something, the joke is always on us. it doesn’t matter whether this focus is negative or positive. we might come up with many “logical” reasons as to “why” xyz person or persons “affect us” or “others” (there is no such thing as being concerned that someone or something is affecting others if we do not first believe that it somehow affects us) and use that as our excuse for focus. what we are missing, during our “logical” over-focus either negatively or positively upon a person(s), is that 1) everything we see/focus upon is a reflection of ourSELF and ourselves – period. the collective reflection. no matter how great in number, size, power, etc that person or thing is. 2) everything we see/focus upon is an OPPORTUNITY to learn. but because many of us live so much in the ego, in the 3d realms, we can’t hear our own truth or see the bigger picture.

since forever ago, people and ideas have been in place in society thanks to the Universe in order to test us individually. and, conversely, the people put in place in order to test us have their own tests. it is never a one way street. these tests grow and expand us so that we may look within for greater (real) happiness. the Kardashians, as a modern-day example, represent many things, as well as excellent tests that exist for a myriad of reasons. for one, they test the human ego in terms of helping us to know that we are “enough” as we are. when we resent something in the 3d ego world: looks, status, money and the like, we are resenting the very opportunity within ourselves to ever achieve peace and balance with that “thing” we resent. we can not resent something and receive it at the same time! I have had friends who complain CONSTANTLY about money, and the “1%”. do you think those friends will EVER be happy or even stable within their own personal confines as long as they are complaining because they are negatively focused? no (it is also irrelevant, by the way, “right” or “wrong” when we are overly-focused whether we are negatively overly-focused or positively overly-focused, it doesn’t matter – over-focus is a state of being in which we are taken completely out of our core SELF, which is where the focus should be. on the SELF. otherwise we are just spinning our wheels). do I agree with the issues that some of my friends in the above example raise? maybe. also maybe not. do I share their same negative focus? no way! this negative focus isn’t even a REAL negative focus, by the way…it is a form of self-escapism. as long as we can BLAME another person for our issues, we get to be like convenient Christians or Catholics! – we don’t have to do the self WORK.

when we look at the example of the Kardashians, we see a few obvious things at first: we see physical aesthetics, we see riches, we see fame, and we see attention. when we are out of alignment with our own story, those things take on different meanings to each of us. if we feel we are never “enough” in one or all of these categories that we covet, comment on negatively or obsess over, guess what? the joke is on us to throw shade or hate! what we should be doing is THANKING these people, the Kardashians or whomever in the like capacity, for highlighting what does not work and is stuck inside of US. NOTHING can make us feel badly about ourselves unless we already agree to that thing we say makes us feel bad. no one can make us feel bad about ourselves unless we already agree with them – whether they are saying it directly, or we perceive them to be saying it. in a way, modern-day social media is doing us a favor; it is reflecting back lots of “ideals” to help us wake up and contend with our own inner demons. so whether we “idolize” someone or “hate” them, the joke is on us.

let me explain what I mean by the word joke. I say it is a joke, because the over-focus of people I hear obsessively complain about or obsessively envy the Kardashians and others in their position, is exactly the blessing in disguise. what these complainers or copycats are getting either way is a match in the outer world to an inner belief that they need to contend with. if you ask me, the so-called negativity of social media, reality TV and so on is part of our planet’s awakening. those of us who are able to realize that the reason we focus negatively upon another person or persons is born out of our own inner lack are in a great position to wake up. those of us who are able to realize that the reason we focus in an idolizing or copycat fashion is born out of our own need to see how amazing WE already are, are in a great position to wake up. again: either focus, negative or positive, is focus and we get what we focus on. I have said this in many other blog posts: where attention goes, energy flows. if you don’t like that thing you are so focused upon, ask yourself WHY you are so focused upon that thing, and how that thing might actually SERVE you.

as a side note, and kind of an unnecessary one to explaining how our focus is born out of our own inner world and how it is actually a gift or blessing in disguise, I will say that the person or thing that we are so focused upon has its OWN lessons. we might think that something or someone who drives us to feel so strongly inside has infinite power or power over us in some way. of course that is not true. ALL THINGS ARE RELATIVE. all blessings are relative. how could we assume that, for example, all of their relative success/access/etc (whatever we want to deem as important to us) does not come with an equal amount of tests of its own? we assume that life is easy for those we covet, envy or focus upon, then again, the joke is on us. the Universe is built in terms of relativity. for every huge blessing, there are lessons of initiation around it. who is to say that, despite whether we feel negatively or positively about the Kardashians or anyone else like them, we would ever be able to handle their blessings given the laws of relativity? it is suffice to say that MANY of us could NEVER handle what they have, EVEN IF they themselves have created it or it has been created for them. we do not ever know the exact reasons or divine plans the Universe has for certain people and matters in the press, other than the fact that for “better” or “worse” they are here to serve us and reflect our individual and collective issues. now, whether self-perpetuated or not in a public fashion, that’s a huge energetic responsibility these people have. again: this is a neutral and energetic perspective, not a dissection of people or events. when we ZOOM OUT in this way, we can see the bigger picture and not get wrapped in the tiny details that are, again, designed and there to test us like the joker.

anything or anyone who has ever affected me negatively or positively in my life, I say thank you to it/them. saying thank you inside or directly to them does NOT mean that I always agree with what they have done. but we reach a certain level of self-introspection where we realize that the Universe has actually designed ALL things to help us, if we can figure out what that blessing is. by staying attached or focused upon something or someone in the outside world, we are again being convenient Christians/Catholics. all of the real juice is withIN us. if we dare to exercise our inner divine muscles.

in some ways, I am really glad I did not grow up with social media and even the internet until I was almost an adult. I look at many of today’s millennials and I have no idea whether they are humans or robots. I probably missed this boat by about 8 years. there is such a disconnect between many of their views on the world and mine, simply due to the fact that social media exists. however, I am not suggesting or blaming social media for causing something bad – in fact, it is quite the opposite. if we can see how disconnected we are and how out of touch we are with our higher selves, perhaps only then can a true individual and collective awakening take place. when I see how affected young girls (or even women!) are by electronic devices and the lives of others, I see that what once took lifetimes is happening instantly: ego destruction. the ego must eat us and destroy us in order to be transcended (this is a separate blog, by the way, the impact of social media on our culture).

the best thing we can ever do when something “affects us” individually or collectively, is THANK IT. if you are feeling “but….” or “if…..” or “how…..” during or after reading this blog relative to believing or taking issue with how/why the Kardashians or others like them are in some way harmful to society or to those you know, remember one thing: nothing can negatively affect us unless we have an individual or collective need for that person or thing to “negatively” affect us…and, in doing so, it will ALWAYS be reflecting the very thing we need to heal from within OURSELVES. that, my friends, is called AWAKENING and HEALING. otherwise, the joke is on us.

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