happy New Moon this weekend. and, remember…the path to AI defeat is: CONSCIOUSNESS!

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

I’m on a little bit of a big tech / AI kick if you can’t tell from my yesterday’s article here. the interesting part about that article is this. I woke up earlier than usual and SHOT out of bed with the healthy impulse to write that article before noon. typically yes I get inspired, even excited to write something that I am passionate about, but yesterday felt different. I was jolted, physically. THEN, after writing my article, I take a peek at my little social media apps — and see all over the “news” that Joe Rogan had dropped his Ed Snowden interview here, and that Mark Zuckerberg was testifying live before congress! I guess it (yesterday) was a day for disclosure of some sorts. I know there will be more, and more, and more…to come. across the board. GET READY.

when I say GET READY, what I really mean, in the kindest, simplest and most straightforward terms possible is: get conscious. no, I’m not talking about vaping out at a “spiritual retreat” or venturing into foreign lands to become “awakened”; the truth is, if you can’t awaken in your ordinary life, then you simply won’t awaken. tools such as the above that I jab at are merely…tools. they aren’t the THING. there are so many misconceptions about healing and consciousness, it is just incredible. that is why I write this blog.

so getting conscious. and again, what does that have to do with AI? first of all, getting conscious will prepare you for the truth. the truth, to you, may mean one thing right now. but when you are conscious, it will mean something ENTIRELY different. no, your personal moral compass will not change. just your awareness. I’ll get back to AI in a minute.

getting conscious can be provoked by doing a number of things — again, I list so many of them in my blog here. in the most basic ways, getting conscious can be set the tone for by things like plenty of sleep (and I mean PLENTY), plenty of water, very healthy foods, and exercise. that sounds like a total cliche but you would not believe how many people bypass the (above) absolute basics to even prep their mind to receive anything clean. and, whatever is sitting there (IN THE MIND), WILL multiply — whether it is good or not, and whether it is bad or not. if you can master the basics, there are of course other ways that you can grease your consciousness portal for clean delivery. unplug and be alone. I mean it. does it hurt to be alone? emotionally? psychologically? physically? without ANY electronic devices? well then, good. go and detox from one or both (preferably both) and FEEL those chemicals coming out. so many people can not do this. they are addicted to people and devices. and how in the FLOCK do you expect to get ANY true guidance, in this state? and if you can master the latter, in addition to the basics, then you can still take it further. I’ll let you pontificate on what would be right for you, because I will tell you that what is right for you (BEYOND AND AFTER all of the above, first) is whatever is the most exciting for you. yep. whatever most pleases you. maybe it’s creative. maybe it’s not. but probably creativity fuels it whether you recognize it as such, or not. and it is ONLY after we are clean portals can we ACTUALLY go and do what we enjoy, and be certain that it is not a bandaid or a drug that we are using to cover up the pain of the basics that we can’t master because we are actually addicts. (PS: everyone is an addict. in some way. to some thing. it’s just a matter of what, when, how, why, and coming to terms with such).

if and once you have some truth flowing through you — from YOUR CORE (and remember: this is NOT about making certain people, or certain GROUPS of people, right or wrong! if you are conscious, you are entitled to YOUR truth, and so is someone else! it is AMAZING to me that many people actually call themselves progressive and they are the most judgemental, ignorant flocks breathing!) — begin to note WHAT IS YOURS AND WHAT IS NOT. this is VERY hard to do. this is what I get paid to teach people. but, it can happen. if and when we are awake. there are subtleties that turn into major states of being. the trick is in identifying the subtleties. for example, when you wake up in the morning and have a disturbing foreign thought or feeling and you can not place it. well, how about how did it get there? if you are CONSCIOUS, you can take inventory and find out. and if you are conscious, you can figure out what devices were placed next to your head while you slept. or what messages you sent late at night before bed or what messages came in upon waking that you don’t even know you have, but that are SITTING IN YOUR LITTLE MAGICAL DEVICE. the messages, that are sitting in your little device, HAVE ALREADY BEEN DELIVERED TO YOU. your consciousness is synced to your devices. don’t believe me? try and do all of the above — spend time cleaning your antenna. get super, super clear. hear truth. THEN, compare that truth with foreign feelings. assuming you are not regressing into post-trauma (you should be in therapy for this! I don’t care if you can’t afford it — I used ALANON and similar support groups for years when I could not afford therapy! and now, I pay for therapy instead of owning a home!), you will be able to spot AI interference in your life. the drama, the lies, and the negativity that the little devices we wear and touch all day are designed to deliver straight through our consciousness and into our hearts. to continue, to divide and conquer us. it’s worked so far, hasn’t it?

are you able to have a conversation with someone totally different than you, who thinks looks and acts totally differently from you? no? then go do some work on yourself. it is not normal or healthy to surround yourself with ONLY people who think look and act like you. I look at my entire patient base — they could not be more “different”, in the outer world, each one of them; BUT, they are ALL THE SAME. they are all able to sit and converse, pleasantly disagree and agree to disagree on outer world matters, and still LOVE each other. we have just about NO adult examples of this on social media (where most people, and most young people, get their “news”). and it is dangerous. but it is AGENDA. the outrage that resides in people…where does that come from? sure, we catalog and “box” people because it makes us feel safe, when we do not know better…but AI (read my previous post to understand more) actually preys on and plays on our said human vulnerabilities. we do not have to allow this to be the case anymore.

if you are really evolved, and really invested in the things that you say you are invested in, then you should be able to, as let’s say for example a far right person to, go to a far left event and listen (NOT to change your mind, just to see if you can sit there and tolerate it and see the humanity in people). and if you are for example a far left person then you should be able to go to a far right event and listen AND DO EXACTLY THE SAME. what you MAY hear, is a lot of people, in each group, saying EXACTLY THE SAME THING. but using different words and experiences to say those things. that is, if you are able to HEAR them. there is simply no such thing as “one group” of people being more awake or evolved than another. but, AGENDA and deceit AS AN ENTITY lives more often than not in the designated “woke” and “fair” groups, that is for sure! it is how evil hides in plain sight! oh, the IRONY.

people say to me all of the time “do you live in Williamsburg?”. LOL! I get it, it’s because I wear the funny pilgrim hats and the vintage biker jackets and such. but why does that mean that I live in Brooklyn or would like, need to “dress the part” of the neighborhood that I live in? I mean, I’m not on an episode of Girls. but the point is, that people need to organize their thoughts (so that they can feel in control) about WHO SOMEONE IS based on how they look, what interests them, and what they believe. but that’s not who a person IS. I’ve NEVER “dressed the part” for anywhere that I’ve lived, and I’ve never picked a place because it’s “cool”. God that takes SO MUCH ENERGY. I feel exhausted just writing about it. what’s my point here? think less about the exterior and consider for a moment that you don’t know squat about someone’s inner world. unless you truly know squat about yours. which is unlikely. that takes work. and no it’s not an Ayahuasca retreat. it’s daily, conscious work to consider that we can not control the outer world by assuming things!

the New Moon is always a good time, when it comes, to consider new ways of living or being. I am not an astrology expert, but I can suggest a look at good old YouTube for some live references! I really enjoy information shared by Nadiya Shah, Kelley Rosano, and The Leo King. this weekend we are in for a new open portal of energy, which might really compliment our continued efforts to simply live, breathe, survive and THRIVE on this planet for the very short amount of time that we are here.

CHEERS to an excellent weekend.

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AI is dangerous. and: censorship, healthcare, politics & Trump.

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

AI aka artificial intelligence is dangerous and there are many moving parts to it. and if you think it does not affect you on MANY levels, then you do not understand it.

this week in my therapist’s office their phone repeated back a phrase I spoke — right in the middle of the session. being an older person, my therapist (although a genius), was thrown off. they didn’t understand specifically what happened. they are not an internet baby. I took their phone and disabled siri. not that that solves anything, as both my therapist AND I know that we are all being recorded, word by word, and video by video, ALL. DAY. LONG. they know, because they have worked with CIA. I know, because I have worked with well…some of the most powerful, knowledgeable, and influential people on our planet. and as a consequence, particularly beginning shortly after the last U.S. Presidential election, I became a focus — and a target. but before I get into that, I note the little “siri” episode just to give you some extremely basic framework for what I am explaining. and perhaps you already know about (and are totally desensitized to) phones speaking back to you when you have done nothing to prompt them because you did not enable a function and ask a vocal question. but are you really comfortable with and do you really understand the “flukes” and where all of that information is going? likely NOT.

for nearly 3 years now, I have waited to be able to explain some of the most hands-down difficult period of my life. I waited because of timing, and I waited because I hoped that maybe, just maybe, things couldn’t get any worse for me. well, they did. and I am at the point in which there is literally nothing left to lose except for my life. sounds dramatic? well it is. I’ll be surprised if this post makes it anywhere online, particularly considering the massive shadowban on me since 2017.

backing up a bit. I have consulted for many, many different types of people. I’ve seen some of the most intelligent people on our planet and consulted on AI. I’ve consulted on autism and for parents of autistic children. I’ve consulted for high-ranking military. the work that I do, although seemingly packaged in a “cute” or “attractive” little “new age healer” or “reiki healer” container, is so much more. I was quite content, in the beginning of my practice and this ENTIRE TIME, to be downplayed and written off as a little cuckoo. being judged for being xyz (so, whatever xyz could mean) used to be a safety zone for me. I was happy being seen as just another pretty face who was “helping people” in some way; perhaps a bohemian off-the-grid thinker and believer in potions and home remedies to “fix” people and their health. and I say this, because these are the comments and assumptions that I USED to get. early on, and before shite hit the fan in terms of me being focused on by “The Masters of The Universe” (as a very prominent, very achieved, and now very public scientist referred to “them”). and if you don’t believe in “them”, well, at some point, “they” will affect you while you are conscious of them. they are affecting you right now while you are NOT conscious of them. I’ll get to “them” in a bit.

throughout my life, and over the past 20 years in particular, I’ve met some of the most fascinating people. in all industries. when I was young (and I wrote a whole eBooklet about this), I recall being fascinated by the number of celebrities (aka, at THAT time, people who actually did things to earn accolades which, in turn, made them famous) I would meet, just naturally (pre social media too, thank goodness) being out and about, and wondering what it all “meant” (hint: I would reconnect with them years later in fortuitous ways, related to my work). in college, a kid in my same dorm was building the first / most successful online music sharing platform in the world. a year or so later, THE most successful online social network was being built across the river while I was in school and I had no idea. I became friends with one of the originals from that platform in the early 2000s and never knew until I saw them in Time Magazine in 2010 that they were behind it all. I’ve met Chairmen of major US banks. I’ve met some of Hollywood’s greatest (the kind who, I believe, are, unaffected-by-the-“game”-people — as they are the kind who truly bypassed corruption and made it on their own). some of these people were clients. some of them asked to be clients. I won’t digress into how I work, all you have to do is read my About and Public Figures sections. in short: I can’t be bought. because I know what comes with it. with all of that said, I preface this article with the above information because it lays important foundation.

when my practice Healing Elaine® took off, it was 2012 (when I say “take off”, I was no longer littering all of Manhattan with my postcards and company contact info — my phone was ringing on its own by that point). I saw mostly “regular” people. the setup was, I would meet with them, hear their problems, and give them solutions — just like I always had for people, for decades, preceding Healing Elaine®. then I would work on their energy field. at the time, fresh in and out of housing court, I just wanted to do what I loved (which is helping people) and pay my rent. so that is all that I focused on. I didn’t necessarily plan to solve major life issues or completely alter the trajectory of people’s lives. and, in the back of my mind, I was afraid to do so — because I oddly felt that “no good deed goes unpunished”. and, I WAS RIGHT.

as my work grew, my understanding of many things grew. I can’t explain to you how no matter who I was meeting with and what field they were in, I was able to substantially help them. initially, it was intimidating. I was seeing people, women and men, with crippling life concerns and problems, and many of them were extremely successful in the outer world; they were C-Suites, they were millionaires (self-made), and they had the power to affect many, many people. as word got out about me, and because, well, the internet, I became bombarded with inquires very quickly. by 2013 my phone was ringing off the hook. I could barely keep up with all of the calls. since I already worked with integrity, meaning no you could not just walk through my door (I needed to be sure I was helping someone and not hindering them by meeting with them, and I needed to be sure that I could help them or, it just wasn’t happening), I screened a number of calls. often times I knew just by the way that the phone rang, and I certainly knew by hearing someone’s voice — if it was the right person and the right time. the way that I worked and the way that I work now is laid out in extremely clear terms all throughout my website. at any rate, I felt this pressure in 2013, to run hard and fast — to solve as many problems as I could, for as many people as possible, and not “look up” until it was time. I’ll get to “it was time” in a bit — hence the bane of this article.

over the years my sessions grew from a few hours to many many hours in one sitting — followed by dozens of hours of follow up via phone and email. I was opening Pandora’s box for many people and they had endless questions. this meant that, in order to keep making a living, I was working and working and working — maybe 100 hours a week. this continued for years. until…

at the peak of my “success” with my business (many tangibly successful fertility cases, transmutation of illness cases, etc), I was always waiting for the shoe to drop. not because I am negative. but because I KNEW, in each and every session, that the amount of truth AND the amount of RESULTS and life changes were…almost too good to be allowed. I was, and am, inadvertently affecting large numbers of people simply through the one person I was / am meeting with and helping and giving information to. and, I knew enough and had seen enough corruption on this planet to know that, at some point, that would be a problem. I just didn’t know exactly HOW the problem would present. until it did.

the first thing that happened was a fluke, but it set the tone for a dark, scary, and worst-nightmare scenario. one harder than I dreamed of ever having to deal with. the fluke, was three idiots who I hired. well, I hired one idiot – to help me with PR. a privileged, spoiled brat who never worked a day in his life. this meant that he ran around with his “fake company” and celebrity name drops (these people love to immerse themselves in “important crowds” — which is exactly how I met him and was fooled myself. lesson one.) and had no concept of running a business because he had no financial responsibility. he was not only a kept man, but knew nothing about business (or people). hiring this idiot cost me a LOT. through him, he insisted that I revamp my website (keep in mind, I was at the PEAK of my career — this was 2016 — why fix what was not broken!?). he also insisted that I get new photos ASAP! so, I was directed to hiring (who I would later learn to be, through a background check) a CRIMINAL photographer, and the photographer’s CRIMINAL friend (a shady, addict web hacker who told one of my lawyers in writing “go fu4k yourself”, upon requesting MY credentials and property which he refused after stealing it). although I initially told this “publicist” point blank “I don’t trust the web person”, he insisted I was crazy. at the end of the day, he insisted that I work with them because the REAL story is that he was getting free stuff from each of them on the back end. the three amigos as I will refer to them (who continue, to this day, to work together!), took me for a ride. not only did they take me to the cleaners financially, and I was stupid to not background check any of them in advance, but they also stole my websites without my knowledge. that story is a whole other article, but I have to preface other details with these details. I also preface the rest of this article with these details, because it is separate from the other problems I will describe and the danger of AI. in short, you can read my brief summary here on my instagram page. it spells out the order of events.

after the first dark web domino went down, I noticed something else. it was now the summer/fall of 2017, and I noticed that my entire online presence changed. this was bigger than having my sites stolen and restricted by the three amigos, though they certainly set the tone and made figuring it all out (it took me, and my legal team and entire YEAR to figure out “what” was happening to my websites) extremely challenging. my entire online presence — my social media (I was being shadowbanned – the following FROZE, and each time a new person followed me they “knocked off” another — sometimes close friends of mine since I actually KNOW many of the people who follow me, so the proof is in the pudding), the number of calls that were getting through to my (Google) business line, and my visibility, nearly went dark. HMPH. I was stumped. like, one day, EVERYTHING STOPPED. out of nowhere. I talked about it in therapy, and my therapist at the time (knowing what I do for work and often how “high level” it goes) said that they had seen similar things, unfortunately, with people being silenced. like, when the truth is too big, “the powers that be” shut them down. yeah. I was getting that feel already. I just always prayed it wouldn’t happen like that. which leads me to the same question you may be asking at this point “um, ok, how and what is your point? how would this happen and what does it have to do with AI?”. I’ll tell you.

nearly every session I took with someone, I was acutely aware of the fact that we have electronics and what those electronics DO. I didn’t know what siri was until maybe 2016, or that it was even on my phone, but I knew certainly that we were all recorded, all of the time. and if you think that YOU are not recorded, all of the time, even when your phone is on airplane mode, you are fooling yourself. I would look around the room at the electronics like my canary or my sonos and my phone and computer, and almost always remember to dismantle them and turn them off (not that that really mattered). when I was in hotel rooms I would unplug everything and cover the TV (the huge camera that watches all of your moves whether you want to believe it or not). I knew however, that it didn’t really matter. that everything I was sharing, was something being monitored and recorded. I just didn’t know exactly how and I didn’t know for sure how it would affect me. thankfully, as far as I know, my work has only ever really helped other people/my patients. the people I saw were not the targets: I was. and the way I understand AI, particularly as I began to consult for AI specialists, is that it is an ENTIRE SEPARATE BEING. it might was well be an entire person or billions of actual people. and, there is INCREDIBLE control around AI…AI can not have people thinking independently. what I was doing, what my work does, is exactly that…and to boot, I was working and still work with people who can change minds. these people are not part of dark agendas, the agenda which, whether you believe it or not, is AI.

now I’m not saying that everyone who works in AI is bad. I am saying that most people are either consciously or unconsciously ignorant to the beast that is being built. and it is a beast indeed, BECAUSE IT IS CONTROLLED. what I began to notice with my business, as Google and ALL of big tech began to shadowban and censor me (it exists TO THIS DAY), was that I was a target because of the level of truth I shared. and believe me, I can and will give many examples. here is a random one for you: so, I work and have worked with many medical professionals. top level. earlier this year, in the midst of my shadowbanned and censored online life (and yes this included twitter), I get a demand from square processing. it tells me “we need information about your client with credit card ending in #### in order to allow you to proceed. what is your relationship to this person, and we need to see an invoice for services rendered.” oh really, Square? so, you just happened to choose one of the most important (to large numbers of people) and wealthy and influential individuals I met with last month, to ask me about? I took the info to my therapist, AND to my legal team (I have two whole teams now — investigating ALLLL of the above with me and walking beside me since this insanity began) and of course everyone found it odd if not disturbing. THEN, I realize that Square is owned / founded by none other than JACK from Twitter. you don’t say! and this is one example, out of DOZENS, that came to haunt me on a monthly basis for the past few years straight with regard to big tech. and if you don’t understand it just yet, big tech IS AI. they create, control, and execute it. it’s not “cool” or “cutting edge” (it could be, if the forces behind it were pure), it is AGENDA plain and simple. and ANYTHING AND ANYONE who threatens their narrative is a problem for “them”/AI/”The Masters of The Universe”.

I used gmail my entire career, until this year. it took me that long to figure out what CRIMINALS Google is, because I just was not willing or able to believe what was really happening. not only does GOOGLE sell ALL OF YOUR DATA to off-shore entities, but they monitor every single word you write and every single thing you look at — and stop and ask yourself, “why?”. well, this, is one of the main infrastructures of AI. so, entities and encyclopedias of thought and information are being created with every single word and idea you ever have, because there are like zero privacy laws (and the laws that are in place, are totally bypassed — do you know how many executives from Facebook, Google and Twitter have committed PERJURY while lying in front of Congress?). this means that all of our communications, all of our ideas, are stored and either used, or TUCKED AWAY and censored OR regurgitated FALSELY by other entities because they are true and dangerous (because “these people” want ultimate control over our world and everyone in it). what is NOT true is not dangerous — and so it is PUSHED and pushed and pushed, through media, and through our little devices. not seeing the truth because it is inaccessible, though, is only half the battle. the other battle is the fact that AI is SYNCING with our consciousness. let me paint the picture for you.

whether you believe in the afterlife or not, you can likely agree that “consciousness” IS, indeed, an energy. it is what makes each of us unique. most of us do not understand how consciousness works. I UNDERSTAND how it works, as it is what I bloody do for work. and, for the record, there is a reason that my sessions start at 5-figures — 1) it takes tremendous time to explain to people what all of this intangible “stuff” is, and I am able to explain things that they have not found one other person on this planet to be able to explain 2) alongside the tremendous time I spend is my expertise and experience that I can not find elsewhere, in terms of my exact trade 3) it takes my ENTIRE life force that I bring to the table for each and every person and that is PRICELESS. I don’t say this to try to impress or be fancy, I say it because I don’t think that most people can imagine what goes on in a session of mine and frankly NOBODY understands it until after they have been through one with me. I digress, but it important to me to explain — because I am not over here selling widgets and “feel-good” crystals and spiritual band-aids: my work is real, deep, and obviously threatening to those who do not want people to think for themselves. in my sessions, I explain consciousness in the way that I understand it. I explain it to people who are far more advanced than me in science, psychology and medicine. and apparently big tech and “The Masters of The Universe” HATED that. and so, with the intention (consciously or unconsciously) to block truth, we have AI. we have a system of energy — signals and communications that interfere with our BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT, all day long — that has started to control us.

AI is an actual life force — contrived, yes, so not a traditional life force — with a controlled intention. and it is the sum total of what “the powers that be” want it to be. and you may still wonder, at this point in my long-winded article, what I am getting at. well, put on your critical thinking cap. assume for a moment that everything I am saying is true. and assume for a moment that yes (and I will get into more details later), a little guy like me with a small-in-numbers online following has been censored. can you stop and ask why? the why resides in a few categories: 1) we are in 1984 already. if we are to think independently, we break old systems of control. these systems of control are in place by a few very, very wealthy families on this planet. NO, this is not conspiracy. and no, I didn’t pay it any mind until my life was pretty much shut down and impacted. you believe it once it happens to you. also, just go do a little research – that is all it takes! 2) big pharma. big pharma wants and needs you to be sick so that it can keep making money! big pharma is the biggest drug dealer on our planet. street dealers do not COMPARE to big pharma. it’s all a crazy system. next, have you heard, or looked into, any of the big tech whistleblowers at all? I mean, they are real people — but you won’t hear about this on your mainstream news channels (which by the way, are CONTROLLED — ALL OF THEM). let’s start with Dr. Robert Epstein. and go watch, now, The Creepy Line documentary — it’s free on Amazon Prime. if “The Masters of The Universe” can not make money off of our minds or our very life force (our health), then what control do they have? the answer is none. and so AI has become more important than ever! and it is more expansive than you think.

in 2017, big tech did two things: they began to work harder to control people’s minds and health (because that’s how you keep a population under control!) by censoring people. JUST GOOGLE OR BING OR DUCKDUCKGO THE BIG TECH WHISTLEBLOWERS — ALL OF THEM! there are endless documents, if only you look away from mainstream media, that have it all right there in print for you to see. people, including Tulsi Gabbard, are suing them (and many people, successfully suing them) for the same sorts of things that they have done to me. the two things that they focused on censoring and continue to focus on censoring are 1) healthcare and alternative health (ahem) and 2) politics. now while the first category may be unfortunately “obvious”, I know a lot of people don’t understand or even believe the censorship of the second category. I’ll tell you why. and I knew it from day one. in a nutshell: our current administration threatens all that has ever been as far as the “world order” is concerned. because they were never a political entity to begin with, and so they don’t need to play along. they were already wealthy and powerful. they were not born from within the “system” I am referring to. and that is DEADLY threatening to that appalling system! they may be a lot of things. you may hate them. but personality and particulars aside, there is a REASON that they are hated, censored and REPEATEDLY set up in the media…it’s more than them just “being who they are”. and I’ll tell you another thing. when you are a famous person who doesn’t follow the World Order in terms of promoting healthcare or politics in a certain way (you are basically HANDED a script by your handlers by the way, or it’s called “media training”, LOL! — and you do not question that script and you simply repeat it for all of your millions of followers without even realizing that you are partaking in major mind control because you are probably a decent person, clueless to how it all REALLY works and you yourself are being controlled), you are punished. severely. consider the people who either do not have social media or who have gone off the grid — they have been threatened, their families have been threatened, and they have suffered physically and otherwise. in a nutshell, those people are attemptedly wiped off the face of the earth because they know and have spoken and speak the truth. so, not only is it stated IN FACT by Dr. Epstein (he was one of the first) that Google and big tech changed everything as of 2016 (the election terrified them — it was the first thing that they could not control), but I am telling you that it happened to me. ME. I’m not even famous.

over the years I was offered and approached by a lot of press. most of the time it just never felt right, so I didn’t do it. I was told many, many times, by many many people (ok, many of them were esoteric, like astrologers or mystics much older than me) that I would have to “say no” to “huge” opportunities that would bring me immediate fame and money. and that is exactly what I did. to me, that stuff means: NOTHING. if you read my entire blog and know anything about my life, all that I have ever wanted to be is safe and happy. I turn down anything that doesn’t feel right. money and fame is a joke unless it is being used to HELP people, and I’ve always known that. I’ve been around it. I get how it all works. I ALSO get how you have to play the game, or you are taken out, once you are there. a lot of people are playing the game, as pawns in the system, and don’t even know it. so, over the years I said no to press because there was something inside of me that just didn’t trust it. I didn’t want what I do to be spun. I didn’t want the world’s first impression of me to be a joke. and that is what a lot of big press would have done. so I waited. I said no to “major” celebrity collaborations. because I KNEW what it was really about: agenda. over the last few years, I have asked myself if I made the right decision about declining press, because of what happened to me (which I am not even done sharing). to this day, I believe that in the moment I followed my highest of integrity and therefore it can not be a mistake. and that I will have my time. as it turns out, there is substantial press on the table for me now, with a couple of different entities (we will see which one of them has the courage to report).

after my lucrative, extremely busy business came to nearly a screeching halt in 2017 thanks to Google’s “new algorithms”, other things happened. TO THIS DAY, I am not allowed to use Google ads. that’s over two whole years of being craftily discriminated against by this “fair, all-for-one” platform. writing this makes my skin boil, because I do not want to go into every single detail. but all of the classic shadowbanny things happened to me: “your ad violates our guidelines” — time and time and time again. and I would call and get Bob over in India who had no flocking CLUE as to the company he was working for, who would try to convince me that it was a technical error or my ad was somehow an error. sure. errors for 3 years. OR, my ad would go up and then it would scramble in broken English with terms I NEVER entered. OR, a TOTALLY RANDOM phone number would be attached as an ad extension to my ad – notably, a “C. Brown” … oddly enough, a C. Brown was also accepting payments via my paypal at this time, to BLUEHOST (another corrupt company), for services I did not purchase! thankfully, paypal investigated this and refunded me. after a whole year of being scammed. I did backflips and accommodated every change that was suggested to me to make. and all of this going down AFTER the three amigos took me to the cleaners and cost me every single penny I had just to retrieve MY property (endless legal fees toward pursuing them, the hosting company that illegally hosted my company named “inmotionhosting” [CRIMINALS!], and the snakeoil salesmen in the middle who pretended my site was live when it wasn’t), we are talking MAJOR financial ruin. everything that had been running for a number of years on HIGH, just…crashed. all of the overhead that I was running…crash. tens of thousands in bills I could not pay. all because of shadowbanning, censorship, and the intention to create a certain AI.

again: you have to remember that AI is a controlled substance. if you have people TRULY thinking and doing for themselves (such as what I offer), then you have a problem, as far as AI and its handlers are concerned. and also, I am not the only one! there is a LONG LIST of people in alternative health (and, of course, politics), who have suffered similarly to me. and not only is AI a controlled substance, but it is infiltrating the way that you think EVERY SINGLE DAY with its censored, chosen-for-you “truth”. how do you feel about that? do you believe what I am saying yet? do you have any idea how impacted you are, on a daily basis, by AI? if the phone in my therapist’s office can take on a full sentence from me and repeat it back unprompted, where do you think that data is going?

everything that we write online but particularly via Google/gmail is cataloged. the “good” info is kept, and the “bad” (aka true) info is…discarded — along with the entity it came from. if you don’t already know, AI sorts and directs algorithms based on every single human being on this planet and spits back censored information through all of our devices — especially our media. a lot of people are walking around controlled by an artificial life force, and they do not even know it. they do not know why they are depressed. they do not know why they are sick. they do not know why certain thoughts enter their minds. they do not know…WHO THEY ARE. and they are younger and younger and young folks are the most spongey. and INTELLECT CAN NOT COMBAT AI. think on that, for a moment. only consciousness can combat AI…

what I teach someone is how to access their consciousness. this has made me a threat (as I keep stating). but the important thing to remember is that consciousness CAN combat AI. it’s just extremely tricky. and if you don’t pay attention, you will lose the battle. the best way to win the battle is to get away from all of the data collecting companies, like Google. the best way to win the battle is to TRULY LIMIT your social media time, or delete it altogether. although it may sound crazy, you are being programmed EVERY SINGLE TIME you look at your phone. you just can not imagine how or why. this is called spiritual warfare.

all of the sessions I have done and all of the calls and emails that came with them, were taken into algorithms beyond my conscious knowledge or consent. I have had to do backflip after backflip to figure out HOW to exist, alongside entities that do not want me on this planet. I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars figuring this out. I lost it all. my phone lines were intercepted and cut off — as in, NO ONE could contact me for periods of time. my online everything was tampered with. to this day, and after switching 5 web developers, 3 hosting companies, and hiring the best in cyber security law, my website STILL will often not work when attemptedly launched from Chrome and Google aka “The Masters of The Universe” products. why is that? all of this that I write, as far as what has happened to me, is documented. it’s all in one, big, data pile that I am keeping on file, hopefully for the right moment when the truth is safe again. because the truth is still not safe right now.

besides having my phone lines (I’ve now had 4) intercepted and tampered with, there are dozens of other peculiar things that have happened to me over the years, and I can only gather at this point that they all point to AI and what the global puppet masters want “out there” in terms of information. as I mentioned, various global news media outlets approached me this year and some I gave interviews to, and I have no idea if they will have the courage to write about me and my WORK (no, I do not and have never really talked about anything such as I am in this article! I never wanted this to be my focus or HAVE to be my focus! but, at the end of the day, my focus is truth, so I suppose it makes sense…). I have been followed, photographed near my apartment (that happened mostly after my Forbes article came out, and God bless the ethical writer who didn’t know me or my work from Adam and was interested enough to write about me), approached by strange people with strange questions, been audited by the IRS (really!?), been denied bank loans for NO REASON! (I was called a “patronage” — and if you don’t understand THIS, just do some research on what a social credit system is…apparently I don’t have much because I don’t play by the rules — rather I tell people the truth that can help and empower them), had big tech invade my practice with personal questions about my patients and with regard to payment processing, and to this day none of it has stopped.

when the pendulum swings SO FAR in one direction, it can not help but swing in the other direction. the pendulum, for me, is at its peak in one direction. this has been far too much for one person to handle, and I am finally emotionally and psychologically in a strong enough place even to talk about it here. and the fact is, there is really nothing left for me to lose. I lost it all. I have three businesses that I run on my own, and every single month is spent paying legal entities (who are continuing to help me with the MANY moving parts of all of the above), an incredible therapist (God bless them), and my most basic administrative costs that are required to run ACTUAL BUSINESSES. and I do all of this by myself. with no outside support. I don’t say this to sound spectacular or to elicit sympathy, I say this however to paint an overall picture of the perils of goliath that is AI and big tech and the lengths that they will go to in order to silence people — any way that they can. fear, intimidation, control, and confusion are the biggest tactics involved in a higher order agenda when they do not like what you stand for. and I get it, it’s not personal, either. but it has truly opened my eyes. what they can not and will never be able to take from me, is the plethora of deep relationships I have with people (many of whom are totally off the grid) who do have a ton of power (to do the right thing) on our planet. I believe that everything has its time, and the age of truth is upon us. but not without consciousness. and if you do not understand how energy works, how it forms through technology, and what is DRIVING technology, then you will suffer. and, you will be in for a rude awakening. PARTICULARLY as the truth DOES begin to surface. there will be a lot of fractured psyches.

where I am at, personally at the moment, is a space in which yes I am still working but still as careful and eager as ever to attract only the right person or entity. I continue to turn down “big sessions” or dealing with individuals who can simply afford it and don’t want to or can’t put in the effort required to truly make a 180 degree turn (that requires living in the ultimate truth), because it would be a MAJOR drag on my field to take a session simply for money. in fact, it would work against me 100%. if I haven’t sold out by now, I never will. so, I continue (even with the INSANE adversity I have faced due to online everything and the overall agenda on this planet) to wait for the right people to come through. and somehow, they do. although referrals rarely work for what I do, enough people know about what I do at this point (despite my online social media reflecting a fraction of my actual following) that word gets out. and those who are light, those who live in TRUTH, and those who can not be bought or controlled, make their way toward me. it’s a small group. and I don’t sell my time or expertise cheaply. I am in this for the pendulum-swing moment, when dark turns to light. perhaps that is idealistic. but I do not believe that my work would have even made it off the ground a decade ago had it not all been possible, fated, and destiny.

in terms of contacting me, well, it’s great if you can get to my site and read through it. I also have a separate line that is not Google, and it is 917-985-1221 (leave a voicemail with the specific nature of your call as I do not answer unknown numbers and I have a very specific protocol listed on my website that must be followed in advance to ANY inquiry. I do not receive, open or return text messages). I am also getting a new P.O. Box (it was suggested to me by a true professional that people have the most basic direct routes to me that can not be intercepted by the evil perils noted in this article) address TBA soon on bing search. I don’t use my former Google voice lines anymore nor do I continue to correspond via gmail. the best way to reach me is call. but please do your research first. and finally, if you are in my position or have dealt with any of the CRAZINESS I note here (and frankly, I’ve skipped over SO many details, because it’s just too endless), know that you have a whole army waiting with you in the wings. at some point, the pendulum DOES swing. and the giant at the gate falls down.

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Sharon’s video testimonial for Healing Elaine®

I am so grateful to get to work with people of such inner-caliber. working with Sharon was a treasure, and I really appreciate her video testimonial. I haven’t posted every Healing Elaine® video out there to my blog, so feel free to visit my YouTube channel and subscribe for updates there. in addition, the subscription box for my blog is back on the home page of this here website, if you would like to subscribe to blog updates.

every session or otherwise Healing Elaine® related experience is different (including my TEM® and PE™ offerings), and everyone processes them differently, but the bottom line is resounding gut level connectivity – for both/all parties. I believe that there is someone for everyone. so, even if you never see me, perhaps some of my videos will open you to the thought that you have someone out there who you can and will connect to and who will perhaps open a window in your mind’s eye. we never walk this journey alone, even if the other people walking alongside us we will never meet; we are still walking beside many people who think and feel as we do. and it may help to know just that as you go about your day/week/life.

FRIENDLY DISCLAIMER: Healing Elaine® / Elaine is a Reiki Practitioner and Ordained Minister, but is not a physician, dietitian, nutritionist, or psychotherapist. Her advice, workshops, written content, and healing sessions are considered supplementary in nature and should not be a replacement for conventional medicine or psychiatric care. Please consult your physician or other licensed healthcare professional for any physical or psychological ailments you may be suffering or think you may have. By attending any seminar, class or session provided by Healing Elaine® / Elaine, you acknowledge that in no event will (Healing Elaine® / Elaine) be liable in any way directly or indirectly for damages resulting from information, data, classes or healing sessions provided or for the loss of profits through the use or misuse of said information and data, either via its use, negligence or other actions.

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rejection is protection, part Infinity

photo by Anita Saini

I’ve addressed this topic more times than I can recall; in my blog, in sessions, in countless conversations with all kinds of (amazing) people — rejection is protection, always, in every case. it just depends upon our ability to perceive the protection dynamic…

for starters, I understand first-hand what it means to be my own worst enemy and take things personally when it comes to being “rejected”. I might venture to say that, many times in the past, I created rejection scenarios to impose upon myself when they didn’t really exist to begin with. what created those scenarios was my interpretation of events. in order to understand my interpretation, read this blog from the beginning and you will find countless self-share examples that explain my experiences and subsequent wiring that had to be altered in order to live out who I AM. instead of who I am NOT…

I understand how the brain protects itself — by interpreting rejection as actual rejection when it is not such — in order to “keep the entire body and brain alive” by repeating patterns that at one point DID ensure survival. but what happens when we move closer to detaching from the once-necessary pessimism that literally kept us alive? well what happens is, we encounter “rejection” to the MAXIMUM…to kill off a dead-end belief or entire belief system. in this space, we are challenged with the ultimate rejections, and in many cases, a series of rejections. they feel real. they don’t feel like protection. they ARE protection. every time…

the very fact that we can not perceive the beauty of rejection as a metaphor for incredible and divine protection is evidence that our self-image needs to change. we ALL face (perceived) rejection. each and every one of us. it’s what tethers us to unhealthy patterns that we repeat in business, home, social, and beyond. if we dare look beneath the pattern, which many of us simply will never do, we find our deepest fear and ASSOCIATION with what we consider to be “rejection”. and when we get closer to unhinging – or rather our soul declares we must unhinge – a belief that is holding us hostage to a past situation, we attract “rejection” aka protection to the most ultimate extreme. it is in the sheer seeming ABSURDITY of said “rejection” that is our first and main indicator that perhaps…we are being protected.

as we get closer to ending a pattern, rejection will accumulate to such a degree that we are so humbled that there is just no more fighting it. we almost do not care about the feelings we once associated with the perceived rejection, because we are bowled over with the absurdity of such. have you ever been in a position in life in which the only available remaining response to your position was laughter? no matter how life-threatening, how dire, how horrendous — laughter was the only option because it felt like a big joke and there is no way that God could be that cruel? this is the turning point of recognizing rejection as actual protection. and it is in this space that we actually RISK changing our mind about what is happening. because, we are the common denominator…and, what if there is something “right” about us, that is at play here?

what is “right” about us will scare off the demons. literally. demons might present THROUGH others, and their actions, versus actually BE others. it’s important to recognize that someone’s behavior is not necessarily who they are, but that it is indeed either helping us or killing us with little room for negotiation between the two motives. and in that behavior, we may struggle to negotiate or understand their conscious intention versus their unconscious intention…creating illusion around the core point of our experience with another person or situation because INTELLECT is separate from the unconscious mind. what is “RIGHT” about us will seem to completely be honored by intangible forces in a particular situation yet COUNTERED by the logic of it. that means that, “this makes no sense!!!!! I can’t get my head around it!!!!”, but this also means that, “there is something so strong, too strong, too repetitive and loud about what is happening here, I must consider trusting it”…

what is “right” about us will exaggerate the experiences that we have with others that would be considered “rejection” experiences…to the point in which we actually turn the page and risk seeing the truth: that we are being protected.

I’ve had this conversation more in the past 9 months than ever before in my life. my personal life presented SO MANY experiences over the past fiscal year that appeared DAUNTING — I felt that I was absolutely being rejected by the entire Universe, as well as specific individuals who did not honor or respect me. some of these people I had looked up to as semi-guides, helpers, friends, — those I thought would be along for the ride with me for life with regard to my work and soul’s purpose. I was wrong — or rather, God did NOT want me to ride with certain people anymore. and it wasn’t just people. it was ALL KINDS of situations in life in general that had expired. doors were slamming and locking in my face. and as much as I know, and have been through on this front already many times over in the past, one can never be prepared for their entire life to change for the better…because all of the swampness comes up and OUT before it does. we see it leave. we watch and feel it leave. we grieve it. and we assign it unfortunate meaning, until we do not assign it that meaning.

in the past fiscal year I’ve faced more difficulty than ever before in my life, with “rejection” — aka PROTECTION. as I’ve had many rounds with this notion already, I did KNOW what was happening. however, at a pinnacle moment around the fall of last year, I briefly lost sight of the positive aspects of protection that were being sent my way by dismantling ALL KINDS OF THINGS AND RELATIONSHIPS. it had reached comedic proportions. the literal front door of my apartment building LOCKED ME IN one night — as in, the door lock broke, locked me in, and there was no out. although I was experiencing one of the most difficult periods of my life, I marveled at the symbolism gifted to my by the Universe: I was being PROTECTED. the Universe said “you may not walk through this door again”. and so, as life does, I experienced the ultimate forms of protection in all kinds of ways: bad behaviors from others, screw-overs, broken trust, disappointments, and shocking loss. and at the end of it? I emerged as a different person. because I had no choice left but to understand this, again, as PROTECTION. at the peak of my brokenness, I wrote this post on betrayal and it still resonates in my gut when I re-read it.

this morning I had two conversations with AMAZING WOMEN who are recently climbing out of “rejection” and now able to see it as PROTECTION. as I always say: NOT ALL ENERGY IS EQUAL. it doesn’t matter what something looks like: we know not what resides underneath that 3D surface. there are all kinds of amazing reasons for all kinds of terrible things. and in my conversations today I was reminded double-time as to why I went through some of the very most ridiculous shit of my life last fall and winter. it was fodder to help those also on the crux of that exact precipice. it was to ensure: not only am I better, lighter, happier as a result of my “rejections”, but I am GROUNDED as hell and literally not the same person I was 9 months ago. doors that did not serve me, in all forms, were closed FOR me. there comes a point in time in which we must CHOOSE how to view these disappointments versus think we can intellectualize why things happen…this is the human trap — figuring it all out instead of LIVING IT ALL OUT.

I find that the most INCREDIBLE people I know have gone through the most incredible “rejection” aka protection to land where they are (in great places that many people covet). the hazing associated with understanding how to interpret rejection as protection is legit. and it is reserved for the few who are able to shift their consciousness, move out of victim consciousness, and literally choose a new life. a lot happens before we can perceive rejection as protection — a lot happens on internal psycho-emotional levels. and you can read about that process in other posts of mine, scattered throughout this entire blog. but I wanted to share today, AGAIN, about the raw fact surrounding “rejection”: IT NEVER IS.

recently I’ve had a ton of type A people aggressively approach me because they see things that they think they “want” or can “take” (see my eBooklet 3 – what they really want is intangible, they just have not figured that out yet!) — and I already know the drill. I know that they are going to come at me hard and fast, pitch me a sales pitch to convince me that I should do xyz (so that they can benefit, only it’s presented as a mutual benefit), and then find out that they CAN’T actually get xyz thing…because you can’t absorb or steal someone else’s consciousness. and in each of these encounters, they run away when they can’t find the “benefit” for themselves…mostly because they are not sure what they are running toward in the first place. they see a shiny penny and they aren’t sure how that penny shines, but they want/think they can glean the secret formula. these types of people always see the outside of me/my work, and never the inside of me/my work. these are not patients of mine, these are real-world folks. all the ones who think strategically but NOT intuitively and believe that they can monetize me…except they have no understanding of what is being monetized — clearly, that is where *I* come in and how I get paid. it’s not a trinket I can sell to someone. and in all of the many situations I’ve experienced with others who thought they could cherry-pick off my tree for free and actually gain something, I’ve had the choice in each instance as to how to perceive what’s happened. as typically what happens when someone realizes they can’t get something for free, they depart. departure can feel like abandonment or rejection. it’s not. it’s protection from people who do not have best interests in mind because they don’t understand a certain energy. and my default is now set to the point, thanks to having gone through this in SO many categories of life, of absolutely bypassing any emotion or internalized personalization of what’s occurred. it’s never rejection anymore. I never feel bad about it. it’s always protection. and when we have something unique, something important, it’s “of course” that not every random Joe off the street can or should understand our commodity. in this sense, we are being protected from wasting time, energy, and so on. and I am grateful to be in a place where there feels absolutely nothing “personal” about this and is certainly not even close to rejection in my interpretation. I see it a mile away, watch it play out, and smile at how it has not a shred of “rejection” essence to touch within me. it just doesn’t exist in me anymore. this is a 180 from how my life began and how I continued it for years out of “survival” and outdated agreements with my mind-adrenaline.

allow people to disappoint you. screw you over. hurt you. offend you. steal from you. THEY ARE IN YOUR LIFE TO SHOW YOU WHAT YOU ARE NOT, if only you can stop committing to what they symbolize for you. what they take away with them, is your old wounds. it takes a full magnet of darkness (that person or situation) to pull out the fragmented marbleized darkness hanging out within your psychological, emotional and physical astral/spheres. when the fragments that have been assigned to you by others who have nothing to do with your path are removed by others who also have nothing to do with your path, you can understand protection. this is where the ultimate freedom, and even unconditional love for all things, exists.

rejection is protection. always. you’re better than you think. probably an anomaly. a Unicorn. a treasure. in that sense why WOULD the world understand you right off the bat? you’re being asked to understand the WORLD. allow yourself to be assassinated in all kinds of ways in order to re-discover, or discover for the first time, who you actually are. protected.


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this full moon today. plus, Venus retrograde, multiple dark nights of the soul, and general HE® updates


photo by Nadia Itani

as I type this post, Don Henley’s “In A New York Minute” has just come on. if you don’t already know, I tend to channel-write whilst listening to particular hit decade channels on spotify. and if you don’t know this song, read the lyrics. it sums up a lot, much pertaining to this post.

as I look back on my life, and as I’ve elaborated on in my eBooklet1, I have had a series of dark nights of the soul. the majority of my early years on this planet were a dark night no doubt. like one, long, and grey memory, it was marked with my wailing for God to please rescue me. I know that sounds depressing. and it was. much of my life I spent trapped in all ways – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. as I hid in tight places in the home I grew up in, or in the basement of the church I went to, I would pray to disappear. I would hold my breath so much that I would get dizzy. though I was never suicidal, I would have done ANYTHING to escape my reality. I wasn’t designed to be mentally ill, for better or for worse, so I did not become schizophrenic or dissociative. I believe 100% that this was so I could do the work I am doing now, in a particular way.

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the physical death of a person, and their effect upon us afterward


photo by Pia Oyarzun

as far back as I can remember, I sensed energies. I did not know I was sensing energies. when I was 3, I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. when I put my tiny hand on my bedroom door knob to turn it, another hand placed itself over mine. I jumped back into bed and peed myself.

when I was old enough to be left home alone, I heard people in the house. I called 911 many times when I was left alone. there was never anyone there, but I was sure that someone was breaking and entering. they never did, at least not while I was there. I didn’t believe in ghosts, I wasn’t raised on ghosts, and I didn’t know anyone who did believe in ghosts. I dismissed my senses and decided to trust myself a bit less. there were plenty of other reasons I did not trust myself, either, but sensing people in the house who were not there was prominently on that list. and yet, I kept reacting to the noises, the feeling, the cold, the knowing — I continued calling the police well into my teens, because I heard someone in the house.

when I started to become super social in my mid teens around 15 in particular, my “awareness” died down. I had also become more astute at shutting down, because it was too scary to be in my body for a host of other, very real, physical and psychological reasons. so, after a certain point, I didn’t really think about my sensing of people who ended up not…being there.

by my late teens, I didn’t know anyone who had died. when my paternal grandfather died when I was 21, it was the first person who I had known in the flesh. as he was dying, I somehow knew about karma and closure, and I decided to write him a note of closure as he ended his life. I didn’t know him very well and barely saw him. yet I felt it was important to help him through to “the other side”. one year later, I was visiting my grandma, his widow. she and I always had a special connection. the first memory I have of her is when I was 3 or 4. we were walking up the stairs to go to a swimming pool and I turned around, looked at her, and said “I like you”. she said to me “I like you too”. we shared a special connection and still do — living, dead, and anywhere in between. though neither she nor my grandfather was religious, she and I shared a special human and psychic connection. that will never die. so when her husband died, I was curious about if/how/when he would “show up” and visit us. mind you, I had never seen (to my knowledge!) a ghost, and I didn’t expect to be visited by him or anyone else. one night, about a year after his death, I was staying the night at their house in Florida. I have always had trouble sleeping — for reasons I am very aware of. mostly traumatic reasons. my experience with sleep involved, over and over again as a child, waking to pure trauma and horrific fear of a variety of instances. therefore, my ability to 1) fall asleep 2) stay asleep 3) not be afraid of going to sleep was weak. anyhow, I was staying in the room that he died in one night. in the bed that he died in. which I didn’t connect to at the time. as I rifled through the medicine cabinet in his bathroom, I found percocets that were prescribed to him to ease his pain as he was dying. let me be clear: I have never had an addiction to anything. I have never relied on substances. I consider myself extremely fortunate to be able to pick up any substance and put it right down when my mind decides I do not need it. while I have other challenges, substances is not one of them. and yet as we know, substance issues mimic other issues generated by the mind, so my compassion and understanding has repeatedly connected to those who have or have had substance issues and addiction. I digress with that side note, but I want to paint the fullest picture possible. like most nights of my life, I had no idea whether I would be able to fall or stay asleep — so when there was something overtly available to take to aid me in the process, I would take it (I never purchased or was prescribed sleep prescriptions or drugs in my teens or 20s). the percocets were available and not only that, clearly no one was using them anymore. my grandma still hadn’t had the heart to clean out his bathroom (they had separate bathrooms and bedrooms). I took one percocet to sleep, and put another one in my pocket “for the road”. I left the rest in the bottle. I put the bottle back and felt guilty about it, even though he was dead. I went to sleep peacefully because of the extreme high I got from the medication…

in the middle of the night, I was awoken suddenly. as I looked directly in front of me, where there was no headboard, a face began taking shape — like a tv screen coming into focus. my grandfather’s face formed before my eyes, and I was frozen. his hands went into prayer in front of his face, and I was in shock. I pinched my own arm as hard as I could to prove to myself in the morning that this was not a dream. I prayed and prayed to fall asleep and held my breath (a skill I tried to master as child with the covers pulled up tightly around my body and face when I was afraid) and I finally did. in the morning, I put the pill that I had taken back in his pill bottle and I apologized to him. I felt guilty. in retrospect, I realize I was coming up on increasingly challenging years in my life, and he knew it — he was never a man of prayer, blatantly did not believe in God or religion, and yet there he was. praying for me. clear as day.

this was the first experience that I had with a “ghost”. I say “ghost” because it was after that, that I realized how palpable his intention was for me. I could feel, telepathically, that he was afraid for my safety in general. I was definitely a fly-by-the-seat girl at the time, and I never thought about the consequences of my actions. I traveled solo, often didn’t know my next move, stayed out late and drank a lot, and insisted on being only in the present tense at all times. I unwittingly put myself in dangerous situations often. I never knew they were dangerous. I was too accustomed to the feeling. and I had a thirst to understand the world.

after my experience with my late grandfather, I did not have another one like it with him or anyone else for a long time. however actually, I did not understand that I was indeed having them ALL of the time — with energy. as you will read about in my other posts, energy is INFINITE. it transcends physical form, and takes many forms of consciousness (as well as light and dark — and intangible darkness often seeks tangible containers at all costs — this is another subject entirely). positive consciousness is hindered in physical form, and it raises beyond physical form. then, when we work on ourselves as human beings, we can access it. this is the bridge that we create and experience between 3d and 5d. that is also another post, though.

in my mid and late 20s, I became acutely interested in my own spirituality and personal consciousness. I went to alanon meetings, read tons of self help books (since a child, actually), therapist hopped (what a disappointing scene in general), and did anything I could to hear my own voice. one day, after I let go of a stagnant relationship which almost lead to marriage, I simply asked my “spirit guides” to please show themselves. I was detached from the outcome. but as I asked them aloud to show themselves, an entire veil of mist or, it can be best described as heat coming off of the pavement on a hot day, manifested in front of me. it was about 5 feet tall and I couldn’t believe it. I also couldn’t believe that “it” showed up on demand. to be sure I wasn’t crazy, I looked at my cat who was on the other side of this energy — his eyes were huge and he was scanning it up and down. the feeling that took over me when this energy/guide showed up was pure love. there is no other way to put it. I felt…like I would never feel alone again. I felt safe and guided. this was a pivotal point for me. unconditional love touched my heart in that moment and it was the first time I felt anything like it.

as I developed my understanding of many things unseen, in my late 20s, I began to realize that the people I “imagined” breaking into my house or walking around it when I was a child were…real. they just were not in physical form. I felt them all of the time. I also saw rather uncouth energies at the home of another family member every single time I stayed there. the only word I can use to describe those energies is: evil. I hated staying there. I had nightmares each time, visions of the “devil”, and general feelings of darkness. it didn’t make sense to me until way later as to…why. the energy behind the scenes supported everything I felt. this is when I realized that NOTHING goes unnoticed in life. we just lie to ourselves to feel safe.

my next experience with the unseen and the death of a person I knew was with a grandmother (not the widow). as I sat by my window in my east village apartment, I was suddenly overcome with nausea. it felt disgusting, and I tasted medication. I barely made it 10 feet to my bed and curled myself up into the fetal position. I don’t know for how long I napped, but I was awoken to the sounds of sobs of despair and mourning. it was so loud, I thought my neighbors were wailing with tears. my body felt so sick, as if something was passing through it. and I just knew instantly: my grandmother who had cancer had just died. I had no way of knowing this for fact, other than my experience. when I went over to my cell phone, there was a message waiting for me indicating that yes indeed, she died. it was then, that I began to learn that I was and am used as a gatekeeper. fast forward, and this began happening for me with patients who were about to lose parents or loved ones or even acquaintances. for whatever reason, my physical field was used as a gate to some other…place.

as noted, growing up I never believed in ghosts and if you told me in college that I was a gatekeeper or that something like a gatekeeper was real, I would have run away from you. I can’t stress this enough, because I am not a naturally woo-woo person. this is what makes everything that much more valid for me; I have never sought out my experiences. they have taken over me, though. and now I am perfectly fine with this (most of the time! except for when I feel someone elses emotions so strongly that I can not shake them — hence my session work and protocol).

after I saw my grandfather those years ago, I really did not want to see another “ghost” so clearly. I understood that yes, energy is infinite and timeless, and I even understood how the human ego leaves us when we die, but I still wasn’t comfortable or welcoming to that which I could not…control. but after I was used as some kind of gate or portal not only for those dying and changing form, and then for thousands of sessions, I sort of…got used to it. one day I woke up in my bedroom and saw a man from the 1980s in a blue and white track suit. he was Italian. I saw that he was busy..doing stuff. counting money, I think. he shared my living space — it’s just that we were in different dimensions. he was not aware of me — he was purely going about his business. I was aware of him. and as I began to study him, he…evaporated.

another morning I woke up and saw an old man and a little girl — his granddaughter, I think. they were dressed in 1920s clothing. he looked at me as if he knew I was occupying his space, and they disappeared into another dimension completely. I felt…safe and not alone, ironically. I no longer felt the crippling fear that I felt as a child. I will also note that there were so many other difficult things happening during that early time in my life, that it would have been very hard to decipher what was real since I was conditioned to not believe ANYTHING that I knew to be true, one way or another. thankfully, over time and with courage and effort, we can recover memories and our own sense of judgement, as well as, well, TRUTH…

now, to the reason I am writing this post. we all know someone who has died. most of us have loved ones who have died. and we miss them terribly. and we wonder “where they are”. some of us never wonder, because we feel them all of the time. and this is what I want to say…you may have heard or read or experienced that the essence of a person who once “was”, never leaves. and this is partly true. what DOES leave, is their ego. and this is when karma in a family dynamic can REALLY kick up — because there is no physical container blocking, unwittingly holding or defending, or otherwise countering truth. there is truth in all relationships, whether they are friendships or family or acquaintanceships. when someone dies, all of the ego aspects of them are what leave. we are then left with their intangible resonance and consciousness, aka…truth. unthwarted and unblocked from human conditions: control, manipulation, greed, etc.

often when someone dies we see family “battles” over petty shit like money. people actually spend time trying to go against wishes of deceased loved ones, or get more than their share, or even worse, still try to control the person from beyond their grave. the interesting thing about these battles is that since the ego of the person of focus is gone, the truth often envelopes everyone around them in a crazy way. this is why many people go nuts over wills, assets, and so forth. even when the wishes of a deceased person are crystal clear. emotions like control and fear and greed take over, and the people who were close to the deceased person seem to…lose it. they lose it, because there is no longer a container for all of the emotions they repressed while the now-deceased person was alive. when this space is no longer there to contain the ugly human emotions of others, from many years or timelines, we are left with: truth.

last week someone told me an interesting story about a will. and I am making a point here regarding how powerful the intention and truth of a person who has left this tangible plane and now resides solely in consciousness, versus unconsciousness, which was not a possible residence while they were in physical form, is. a wicked old lady who I actually randomly knew via one degree of separation, lost her mother. while the mother was alive, this wicked lady did everything she could to convince her sick and dying mother to change her will. the wicked lady had one sister. the sister was not wicked. the mother, alive in physical form, was still in ego, and confused by the wicked nature of the wicked old lady (her daughter). well, one day this wicked lady was caught doing something not above board with money. upon a coinciding death of her mother right around that same time, it was as if karma was nearly in physical form and laughing: somehow, it worked out that the wicked lady’s sister — the one who was not wicked — received ALL of the inheritance. not part of it. but all of it. my guess is as good as yours, but when I heard this story first-hand by the person who was there to witness all of this, it was as if the new conscious awareness of the deceased mother now in intangible form took over and met with the karma of her wicked daughter. I am skipping out on some details here, but this story was one for the books when I heard it a couple of weeks ago. and, I was not surprised…which brings me to my next point about the physical death of a person, and their effect upon us afterward.

when we leave tangible form (ego), we…see. I won’t go into soul or oversoul purpose and specifically what happens for the sake of keeping this post on topic, but I will say that any one of us who leaves our body is able to see all that ever was and is across time and space: truth. truth resonates in the higher dimensions, and those are the intangible dimensions. period. some of us, whilst still in human form, can access those dimensions. depending upon how much self-work we have done. aka how honest we can be with ourselves. not everyone wants to access truth, which is best reached beyond the confines of the human linear mind (ego). and so they struggle dearly.

part of this post is about bringing peace of mind to anyone who feels stressed, abandoned or dumbfounded by a sudden, not sudden, or otherwise death of a loved one, friend or acquaintance. part of my intention to express some peace for others is describing my experience and knowing with the unseen. if perhaps you connect to that, or can feel the resonance through my writing, well, maybe that is a start. another part of my intention to express some peace for others is to explain how truth hits the fan when people die. again, think of it like this: all of the control, lies, or otherwise disappointing human qualities in those around the person who dies will be revealed. almost immediately. for some of us, this can be a wonderful and healing event. for others of us, we see things that we never wanted to see, or were hoping were not true. either way, the veil is now gone. if you believe in truth rising, there can surely be peace around the death of a loved one as for better or worse, it can provide much closure on a variety of levels. finally, I want to share this…

I recently lost someone who I loved very much. we had a most special connection. we had a language in which to communicate, telepathically, for when she died. I never really knew for certain if this language would “show up” for me when she decided to go, but I was hopeful. before she died, she appeared in a series of dreams this year. I cried so hard DURING the dreams that I would awaken with salty dried tears all over my face. I couldn’t believe it: I was already mourning her! I felt like she was giving me the biggest gift already. she spoke to me directly in the dreams. she said goodbye. she also said goodbye while she was still alive. she made me aware of her terms of death and what she wanted for me. the circumstances surrounding her death were unfortunate, mostly due to the ego and control of those around her. but there is nothing that can ever, ever interfere with our connection. this is true for all relationships, whether they are friendships or family or otherwise — what is true, is true, and it transcends time and space and everything in it that is not true. as I mourned her in my dream states, I wondered when I would feel her leave. and then one day I just knew when she did. she showed up in my bedroom in a timeline of her youth. she was graceful, beautiful, and strong. her essence is something I remembered from years ago. it was not an essence of the present, but her consciousness was more present than ever.

at the time she left her physical body, the most incredible synchronicity happened for me. a terrible grip that someone had upon me energetically (namely connected to the theft of my domains and more) became unraveled. I discovered, in the most amazing way, the cause and location of exactly an issue I dealt with for over a year. it was as if she spelled out for me how to unblock this massive interference in my life, in a language that I did not even speak. I was shown “accidental” evidence and Freudian slips that I believe are a strong byproduct of her freeing up the physical space in the tangible realm that contained many lies and controlling behaviors. as soon as she transitioned, it was as if I was being helped in a way no one else could help me. not to mention the fact that although we were close, I felt and now feel closer to her than ever. I feel her support, friendship, and awareness of my truth more loudly than ever would have been possible while she was on this physical plane. it may sound weird to say, but we now have an opportunity for a closer relationship than ever. and I have a feeling that this is just the beginning.

sometimes and often when loved ones die, and we had a karmic agreement with them, it is easier for THEM to carry out their commitment to us AFTER they transcend their physical container. that is, if WE are able to connect to them from this realm to that realm. and what can we do? we can simply talk to them like they are right there. I know this may sound odd to anyone who has not experienced “other”. but I would suggest trying it. perhaps if anything I’ve said in the above examples resonates, the step can be made toward a connection between your dimension (physical) and that of whom you want to connect with (nonphysical). while it is safer for the mind to process such deep connections in a dream state, you may also notice with comfort that recently deceased loved ones will ramp up synchronicities and the truth to assist you in many ways. it is their way, also, of righting wrongs that occurred while they were in physical form and tied in with other physical beings who all have ego (our block to so much).

the physical death of a person, and their effect upon us afterward, can express itself in many different ways. the above ways are my experiences. if you had a difficult relationship with someone who then died, you may also find it easier to connect/forgive/”dialogue” with them while they are in intangible and subsequently ego-less form. if you want to. the message is that there is opportunity, even after physical closure with someone on this live human plane, to learn something new that you could not connect to on this plane because of aforementioned human roadblocks (ego). when there is no longer ego, aka a foggy lens, there can be even greater and deeper healing between you and your “loss” — regardless of how your closure took place on this plane. above all, be open to the truth, because their new plane of resonance has much to offer in the way of it that wouldn’t have been possible in our 3d reality.

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