this full moon today. plus, Venus retrograde, multiple dark nights of the soul, and general HE® updates


photo by Nadia Itani

as I type this post, Don Henley’s “In A New York Minute” has just come on. if you don’t already know, I tend to channel-write whilst listening to particular hit decade channels on spotify. and if you don’t know this song, read the lyrics. it sums up a lot, much pertaining to this post.

as I look back on my life, and as I’ve elaborated on in my eBooklet1, I have had a series of dark nights of the soul. the majority of my early years on this planet were a dark night no doubt. like one, long, and grey memory, it was marked with my wailing for God to please rescue me. I know that sounds depressing. and it was. much of my life I spent trapped in all ways – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. as I hid in tight places in the home I grew up in, or in the basement of the church I went to, I would pray to disappear. I would hold my breath so much that I would get dizzy. though I was never suicidal, I would have done ANYTHING to escape my reality. I wasn’t designed to be mentally ill, for better or for worse, so I did not become schizophrenic or dissociative. I believe 100% that this was so I could do the work I am doing now, in a particular way.

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there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

before I begin to address the above subject(s), let me start by saying that it is important to me that no one confuse any actual mental illness or chemical imbalance with what I describe in this eBooklet. often times, particular “awakening” phases can mimic symptoms of true mental illness and it is important to know the difference. symptoms of a mystical/philosophical variety and actual mental illness can “look similar” and at the same time there are DISTINCTIVE differences. and, many people who are mentally ill or who do have a mental illness are characterized by denial – even and especially during full-blown symptoms. if you are having ANY experiences that affect your ability to function in the outside world for days at a time, i.e. sleep, eat, and socialize with others, and/or if you are hearing audible voices or feel paranoid, it is very important to consider a consultation with a good psychiatrist. you may just be in an awakening process, you may in fact have a chemical situation in your brain that needs support, or you may have BOTH happening at the same time! so, that is to say that NOT everything you are going through that could be considered “bizarre” or “unique” is in fact such; classic mystical and philosophical states have their own category outside of a mental health condition and you have to know how that may or may not apply to your overall condition. this is a very tricky territory for some people to navigate, especially since the “intangible” or “mystical” is typically faced with complete intolerance and indifference in the medical community, and my heart goes out to anyone in a position where they actually need treatment and medication. I cannot imagine the added difficulty it presents for them. sometimes a massive awakening presents as a one-time psychotic break that mimics an illness yet it is not an illness. many times, however, a psychotic break is the indicator of the onset of a life-long condition that needs attention.

one of my major goals in this life, especially during this time of awakening on our planet, is to provide support for distinguishing a spiritual awakening, ego death, and/or dark night of the soul from an actual mental health crisis. in doing so, the actual mental health crisis – whether separate or accompanying the processes I describe here – can perhaps be addressed in a more cutting-edge and more powerful/effective way by medical professionals. many of the medical professionals I know personally who work at a high level in the fields of psychiatry or psychology are actually sensitives/intuitives themselves, and they have been forbidden to go near esoteric subjects from the time they were studying at University. introducing the esoteric or intangible to the science and medical communities has proven extremely difficult in mainstream medicine and psychiatry. fortunately, there are brave souls and doctors how have put their reputations on the line and broken the mold. I am excited because more and more of these special individuals are coming forward to help bridge the gap. the stigma around mental illness and chemicals in the brain is still awful, and treatment measures could and will be a lot better than what they have been up until this point.

I also want to state that I, personally, have no history of mental illness. while I enjoy/ed reading scores of books on various conditions and discussing them with my friends who were/are mental health professionals, I never experienced what I know those who suffer from actual conditions experience. however if I was, you had better believe that I would be a major personal public advocate for mental health based on my own story. if you are suffering chemically, please have a look at amazing, inspirational people who have both accepted, addressed and overcome the challenges they have been presented with. here are two to start with, Miss Elyn Saks, and Miss Eleanor Longden.

there should be NO shame or fear around chemical matters of the brain, yet shame and fear seem to permeate so many beautiful and talented humans who do experience chemical imbalances in the brain. I will do my best, with my various sensitivities both emotionally and physiologically, Bridging the Gap Between Medical & Spiritual™

most of the people I see are in the middle of one of these three processes. depending on the person, the process will move “fast” or “slow” – and time is most certainly an illusion during these phases, so it might as well be irrelevant to discuss time. everyone wants to know “how long”? “how much longer do I have to go through this”? my answer is always the same: how much longer do you want to keep resisting?

until we surrender to the throes of something we don’t understand, haven’t experienced before and cannot control, we will remain in a painful state. which is the whole point of visiting that state in the first place! we were brought there to surrender. this is not something that humans typically do well. we are raised in a culture of control, and now more than ever a culture of instant satisfaction; instant knowing. instant controlling. this is not how the internal human experience is designed, though.

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live and be your dream: Juliet Tang’s Video Testimonial for Healing Elaine® in New York City

lots of people I see subsequently quit their jobs. they come in, thinking that “the grind” is a necessary part of life and they will never get out of it. they have been brainwashed and programmed to believe so. I show them that that conditioning is BS. there is nothing “living” about being a programmed individual who sees nothing but burdened “responsibility” and a linear account of how their life “has to be”. if we are unhappy where we are in life, we are not trees — we can move. thinking outside of the box is difficult, because it sets us apart… and as humans, the only thing we fear more than death is being ALONE (i.e. outcasted, unaccepted, etc)… piss on that fear.

This shining light, Juliet Tang, is a natural healer and empath herself. after our session together, Juliet left her corporate job and opened her beautiful healing practice in NYC. her ongoing study and certification in the healing arts, as well as those of Akashic Records and the like, keeps her practice and vision evolving to reach a vast collective of people who can benefit from her. here is her gorgeous website, JulietTang.com

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rooting out dead weeds in the form of beliefs and people

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rooting out dead weeds in the form of both beliefs and people will alter and expand your life in positive ways that are nearly unimaginable prior to the rooting out.
we often make many excuses for keeping dead weeds in the garden of our life. in doing so, we are completely missing out on soil that can birth a healthy and vibrant flower of life. this soil includes rapid expansion in the form of our innermost dreams and desires. intrinsic or core beliefs that we hold are directly connected to the type of person we allow to be in our life on any level. there are obviously various levels. as examples: acquaintanceship, close friend, beloved confidant or life partner. it doesn’t matter where someone is relative to said level – the specific nature and balance or imbalance of energy is still at play in our life in a significant way.
imagine we are all computers. we have programs that we have carried, as a result of being downloaded, since birth. every person in our initial and primal immediate environment downloaded us with a program very early on, whether it agreed with our master system or not. those programs were deemed essential by our ego in order to survive. again, “positive” or “negative” programming was irrelevant — whatever the ego was told it needed to be in order to survive in said environment is exactly the program that our subconscious became reliant upon. later in life, (hopefully) moving away from our primary caretakers enough to expand beyond these beliefs, we notice that we still carry many that don’t serve us. in order for our computer to perform a massive cleanup, we are often confronted with some sort of “tragedy” or awakening. we might have a series of awakenings. awakenings can come in many forms: death (either figurative or literal) and endings, illness, bankruptcy or homelessness and so on. as we begin to process these awakenings, our overall system is jarred and forced into subsequent reboots. when the system reboots and some the immediately obvious non-functional or toxic programs we held are cleared from the hard drive, we have the space to download or upload “new” programs. these programs are born from a place of newer and more expanded consciousness. a place of consciousness is a neutral stream of information that serves the highest good for all parties relative to the new overall system in place. every time we have a reboot of sorts, and the most obvious programs die, we allow in further consciousness. at this point, slightly later in life, it is less opinionated or biased based on needing us to “be” a certain way in order to accommodate others. on some level, we still will – but no longer (hopefully no longer) living in the same primal environment with the same cast of characters i.e. parents, relatives, teachers etc., we then mix in new programs with the old ones that have not yet been destroyed/deleted/ejected.
when new and old programs begin to share space, dominant frequencies begin to take over and cancel out the lowest frequencies that can not share that space. the law of physics states that two energies of different vibrations must match in order to share space. as our new/conscious/positive frequencies which are unencumbered by group or tribal needs find their home, the most contrasting and fewer, often lower, frequencies are forced out. we are left with frequencies/belief systems that now have a little bit of the “old” and a little bit more of the “new”. I put those words in quotes because I think of time and space, old and new, as all taking place at the same time although we experience time in a linear fashion. the old and the new beliefs then begin to duke it out. a single high frequency thought or belief will outnumber numerous lower frequency thoughts of beliefs. the above various beliefs are always a direct match to the people who are in our reality. we might find that the people in our reality fall into different categories at different times, based on our expansion. we might find that the people, tied directly to our core beliefs, whether we understand how or not, are perhaps 80% representative of the old or 10% of the old or 50% of the old and so on. we will notice just how “old” they are and what they are tied to based on our overall cleanup and mass upgrade. for example:
I had a friend for a very long time. over a decade. I met this person when my consciousness was still tied directly to some very unhealthy, almost sadistic core beliefs. at the time I met this person, I was better off core belief-wise than I had been in years prior. so of course, at that time, it was a “less bad” version of the core beliefs about myself from my first decade or two on earth. as time ticked by, this person naturally illustrated many of the negative core beliefs I held but didn’t fully realize. they were not fully realized because my ego was still reliant upon these beliefs under the veil of illusion that I was still a child and needed to play this role to survive. this friend of mine was unwittingly catering to my damaged programming, and it was serving me because I wasn’t ready to cleanup that program. also, relative to the time this person came into my life, they were a breath of fresh air in contrast to the initial origin and experience of that program. thus, I had actually made headway. over time, however, as I cleaned up other programs, I began to see that not only did my friend mirror many of the programs I was cleaning up and discarding in other areas of my life, but they also became a very simply and visibly “less bad” version of some of my earliest traumas. however somehow, like an old pair of shoes, they had become completely comfortable. holes, stink and all. they were always there, and they were always there because a small part of my subconscious still relied upon this program as a survival tool. even in my conscious mind, which began to point out some real points of contention and contrast to my evolving soul’s value, I almost immediately overlooked this out of subconscious habit. at this point my conscious and subconscious were in a total battle as my ego actually still strongly relied upon this program! ego is inaccessible to the cognitive mind, but if we are lucky enough we then have many mini ego deaths in order to fully surrender it around particular issues.
as years went by, I had accepted this friend just as I had the old shoe – an old, core belief that was embedded in me deeper than I had access to. although “proof” of disconcertion was often in my face more and more than ever before, because I was still not yet fully aware of or able to 100% surrender damaging intrinsic beliefs about myself, this person and their vibrational matching behavior remained present in my life. however, the nuts and the bolts of this program were actually loosening all along – along with my desire to match my intrinsic highest self and value. one year, I found myself in a rapid ascension of awareness, and gifts that began to counter my old core beliefs centered around this person began to show up. it almost felt like a chicken and egg issue: i.e. which came first, the “bad” belief or the “bad” friend? and I noticed it wasn’t just this friend that began showing up in the spotlight. random situations, similar dynamics with pet projects or even philanthropic work began to shine with ugliness as well. it was as if the Universe was truly spotlighting the garden of my life so that I could go in and do some significant weed-whacking. as the counter positive elements of my life and expansion took over, and highlighted the contrast of opposing core beliefs and subsequent people, I noticed that those opposing core beliefs and people began to burn up in the sun. it was as if they were taken out of the shadows and made so glaringly obvious that I couldn’t ignore it for another moment even. this was a byproduct of light illuminating dark. it was a byproduct of the fact that my “new” programs had simply become so many in number, that the old ones had to scatter like cockroaches in a basement where the light had just been turned on.
so, I arrived at a fascinating crossroad of dead beliefs and metaphorically dead people or relationships. the above example in particular highlighted a long “friendship”. as the lights turned on, I still had a hard time figuring out what came first: my “new” belief, or my “old” friend revealing themself in drastic and inescapable light. it was almost as if the Universe was laughing in the way that they were able to make this friend so obvious to me in a 3D context. what was both fascinating and disturbing, is that what was highlighted is something that was actually there just the same for over a decade – I had simply kept this reality in a hidden desktop folder. like the old pair of shoes, I had “accepted” this as my reality, with dread – but dread that I thought I had to live with regardless – as if it were part of me. in the moment of stark light and illumination around this person, I noticed a simultaneous awareness of a new core belief and core self value. I’m not talking about the obvious, on-paper kind such as “I exceeded my goal with work” or “I ran that marathon”. the awareness was much more subtle, yet incredibly strong, and read “I am deserving of the utmost respect and kindness”. but it didn’t read intellectually this time, as of course it had many times in the past. it read deeply: emotionally, physiologically, even physically.
I then arrived at the “final” stage, which was conscious decision-making stage. I could simply withdraw my energy, thus weeding out a person who no longer matched ANY of my core beliefs. and so I did. not even a remnant was left behind. which brings me to a point: we can not remove an “unhealthy person” from our life until we remove the core belief that matches it. it can be no other way. interior creates exterior. even when we think we have eradicated what needs to be eradicated on a conscious level, there is always the subconscious left to deal with. this is why people struggle so much with weight/addiction/etc. it is never about what we see, yet rather what we can’t see. it is about the physics behind the problem. when we understand where our attention actually goes, we can understand how energy flows.
so, I had withdrawn my energy. it was the only logical not to mention self-loving and self-respecting thing I could do. and let me say – the immediate tail wind energy of a nature in such strong opposition to this person’s previous function in my life was exhilarating, eye-opening and almost scary good.
how important is it for us to root out a dead weed in the form of a belief or a person? very important. if we are crucially stuck or we keep hitting that same “pattern” in life, or we can not “manifest”, it is safe to say that we are living in groundhog day fashion. and, if we are doing the best we can, sometimes groundhog day is just a part of the process to get us to such a dead end that we run out of gas and something has no chance but to die. but when we finally eradicate a dead weed in the form of a belief, we have the opportunity to open MANY doors. this can happen when we then identify a person or persons who fully match that belief. when that then is able to shift on a physical level, out of free will/conscious choice of withdrawal, our WORLD expands. rapidly and almost unbelievably at times. what we don’t realize is that in order for a belief and thus subsequent person who embodies that matching frequency to actually be part of our lives, we must feed it ENORMOUS amounts of life force energy. when we stop feeding it, the years and manifestations of that energy has no choice but to redirect in an immediately equal and opposite direction. and we can be sure that the opposite of whatever dead belief system we had going on is rather ecstasy-esque.
I can not say enough about my amazement of the doors that opened following this one core belief deletion followed by an imminent replica of such in human form. there are not many words to describe the intangible space that I felt open around me. it was as if what I always knew and felt I “deserved” was immediately accessible, and had also been standing in front of me for many months if not years even if I did not see it. I felt so supported by the Universe and incredibly at peace. I had so much more to give and receive. tangible dreams that were seemingly put on hold began to manifest or shift immediately. new and worthy relationships began to surface in a quiet yet fast way. most of all, my self-love grew even more. the garden of my life became more thriving, vast and beautiful than ever before.
one of my favorite videos on the subconscious mind/ego as it corresponds to belief systems is a series by daryl anka aka “bashar” on youtube called “brick wall beliefs”. for some, bashar is too much to handle as he is a self-proclaimed human channel for extra sensory and galactic intelligence. personal beliefs or thoughts aside, if we can tune into the actual content of his video series and the information being given, it will prove to be an incredible stepping stone. if we are ready to hear it and integrate it. the truth can be scary for many.
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testimonial from Mike: Healing Elaine® NYC

Mike reached out to me last year and he is one of the best people I know. he sent me this video this morning.

 

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Courtney’s Video Testimonial for Healing Elaine® in New York City

through my practice, I have had the absolute fortune and divine intervention to attract many powerful future healers and leaders who will publicly lead and speak on hybrid subjects of medicine/metaphysics/spirituality and extended topics. they are the new generation of the Marianne Williamson, the Eckhart Tolle, the Caroline Myss… the truth is that we are on the crest of a new wave as science, metaphysics and spirit merge. the definitions that these words have been given are broader and more relatable than we think. due to my acute awareness of “average” popular belief that the work I (and others like me) do was created in a palm tree somewhere in Malibu, creating a community of sound, educated (not that it matters, but it WILL matter to CERTAIN people – half of my patients are ivy league and some hold more than one MD and PHD) and bold leading edge presenters of ALL DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS on these subjects is a goal that is being realized through my practice every single day. there is SO much to come and at the most exciting time, in my opinion, on this planet.

here is Courtney’s story; she started her practice just weeks after we met, and you can find her at “Healing Heart And Reiki With Courtney”. remember her.. one to watch in the future:

 

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A Story of Uncording … as experienced by one of my patients at Healing Elaine®

[As a reminder, all of the topics and many of the excerpts listed here on my blog, fortunately, will be compiled in cohesive and edited fashion in my future eBooklets and book. For now, please enjoy here the raw and unpolished bones that are my skeleton! *Names have been changed to ensure anonymity]

“Uncording” is something that I incorporate into most, if not every, session I perform. Some of my patients are aware of what energetic cording is, and others are not. In short, we share umbilical-like cords with every person we have ever interacted with. Some cords are, obviously, stronger than others. Strong cords are particular to blood relatives, persons we grew up/shared physical space with, close friends and lovers. When two energies are unequal (all humans are created equal, all energies are NOT created equal), one energy must re-calibrate (keep in mind energy flows FROM TOP to bottom) to match the second energy. With this brief but hopefully understandable explanation (much can be read on the internet about corded energies) I lead into a recent patient experience with uncording that I think perfectly illustrates what happens to corded (and subsequently uncorded) energy between two people…

Michele* came to see me for the usual reasons people do…feeling stuck, feeling depressed, feeling as though she was going against her calling, yet not sure what move to make, and so on and so on…

Prior to my session with Michele, I felt a strong pulling and twisting in my gut, as well as a strong and dull ache down my right arm. For me, this indicated an intense struggle with a male energy, and the over attachment of such energy from said male to my patient. When Michele arrived and I began dissecting her immediate personal life, I immediately saw the male energy at hand present itself; though the template for such was set by her father, I saw the current grappling energy in the form of her coworker.  It is always important to know from which direction/individual most of this visceral energy imprint is coming from, so that I know how to best “attack” it. Usually, the physiological symptoms I was having around Michele would indicate a father or father figure, which would tailor our session’s approach to a particular fashion. However, being that the physiological symptoms I absorbed were not representative of a father or father figure (though they so strongly mimicked such, especially being that the origin for this energy to even birth itself was reflective of her father), a very specific combination of cognitive AND energetic approaches and execution were in order.

After tackling the cognitive aspects of this tricky and “hidden” dynamic between my patient and her coworker, I let her know that every move/change she made would be felt by the male energy in discussion. It is always difficult to fully explain to someone unless they have already experienced, in all senses, an energy attachment and subsequent detachment of such. I let her know that what I was seeing was something stronger than the usual corded energy — it looked like a dark, red mass…an entity of it’s own, between two people. I saw a circle with arrows spinning in a clockwise position. For me, this indicated the depth of the cords between these two people, which was only strengthened by precipitating factors with Michele’s own father. I saw that it would be rather difficult to break free of this energy, and that both parties would really feel it once I began the work. The work was necessary, because this entity was not only feeding off of my patient (and her coworker), but was clogging and confusing most parts of her psyche. Strong cords, and especially strong energetic attachments, can cause all kinds of problems!

When we began the physical part of the session, my hand hovered over her solar plexus (abdomen). I saw and felt a thick, molasses-type of energy. It felt dense, temporarily impenetrable and slow. As I worked on her entire auric and physical field, the energy loosened a bit. I felt slightly nauseous, and knew this would be a factor for her. None of my patients, prior to Michele, had thrown up after a powerful session, but they had let me know about intense and detoxifying bowel movements.

When I felt the work was “complete”, I explained to Michele what I saw and how I felt. She was feeling particularly relaxed and clear, and she went home. I reminded her again that her coworker would be directly affected by my session with her, and to be mindful of that on all levels.

The next afternoon, I spoke with Michele over the phone and she let me know that the impact of our session was more tangible than she thought it would be: that evening she threw up. The next morning she threw up again. She called her coworker and her job to let them know that she would be working from home that day. When she spoke with her coworker, he let her know “I don’t know what I ate, I have been throwing up all morning”. She knew immediately that they were sharing the break in energy of this once-strong entity/attachment/cord. What was happening? Each of them was releasing a dense, beast of a blockage that served neither one of them, namely my patient. This might be best understood in psychology as an unhealthy or dangerous “codependent relationship”; and it had manifested itself physically into two people’s — and the lives of those close to them — lives. To feel this experience of cord cutting is one thing…to see it is another thing…and to share it with another person is priceless.

This, folks, is the way energy works. We must never underestimate the presence and power of attachment/cords to others as they appear on all levels — seen and unseen. We must ask ourselves what is serving us and what is not…and think about some necessary uncording to live the most “free” and positive lives possible.

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one of my personal experiences with integrity

one of my personal experiences with integrity

I want to comment on personal integrity. it sounds like a simple concept, but it is often not an easy one. we go against ourselves many times in life, before we realize it based on exterior consequences with people and things around us. not too long ago, my entire physical world collapsed; I was losing my apartment, couldn’t afford to eat for days at a time, and had to “borrow” toilet paper from public restrooms (the long and detailed story of “how” I got there is divine, synchronistic, and will be kept separate from this post, and will surely be in my book)…that said, I was still in a space where I was afraid to share my energy work in a public fashion. a loud voice kept screaming at me to share my work beyond quiet referrals and endless non-profit work. when I finally “agreed” to listen to the Universe and I began sharing more publicly what I did, my whole world began to shift. this was step ONE of my personal integrity — having the courage to make myself vulnerable to the only thing that really mattered to me…helping others…even if I might be criticized for it or people close to me didn’t understand. then came step TWO: I knew that I couldn’t/shouldn’t work with everyone (let alone spend time with just anyone). so, while sometimes starving and having my phone or internet shut off, I would say NO to working with certain people — because I knew intuitively it was not the right time for them or simply not the right session. I was looking out for the higher and greater good of all parties instead of my own primal needs. this was not easy, and I questioned myself. however, after a few instances of these types of difficult integrity-based decisions, it was like a lightning rod hit my life…it lit up. with THE most amazing patients, acquaintances, friends, etc. it was as if, at least temporarily, the hard lessons were over. I am not saying I am perfect at making the perfect decisions 100% of the time, but what I AM saying is that integrity is HUGE in our lives. when we go against ourselves due to fear or insecurity of being alone or “without”, we screw ourselves even harder. often the hardest decisions bring the biggest rewards. INTEGRITY…a true survival tool. we must ask ourselves, daily, what that REALLY means.

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