everything that you are doing and going through now is preparing you for where you want to be

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

“you’re scattered”; “you need to choose one vocation”; “pick a focus”…I used to hear these things ALL OF THE TIME. in my 20s. except, I knew deep within me something that THEY did not know: I was building my multi-faceted future and the road to MY destiny, by…being multi-faceted and living MY life, MY way. this is how it should be. we should each find out, who WE are, not who THEY tell us to be.

when I was 18 months, I climbed up a ladder on the side of my house and launched myself over the top onto the roof. I also used to hurl myself over my crib bars to escape it. so, perhaps it’s in my soul’s blood to venture out like a Maverick. but, you don’t have to be a so-called Maverick or pioneer-type to understand that EVERYTHING you are doing and going through now is preparing you for where you want (when I say want, I speak to the AUTHENTIC you on a deep and honest psychological and spiritual level) to be.

I used to hit 2-4 year periods of “ceiling”. meaning, I would focus on something for a period of time, get bored, and move on to the next thing. this never meant that I was abandoning those things/skills/experiences that I got “bored” with and moved on from — in fact, it was quite the opposite – I was filing my experiences and interests into a folder that would later be part of the book of my life. however, each time I was “done” with something (it might have been a job, or a relationship, or an interest), I would hear the riot act from many people around me. people who didn’t understand. people who were jealous of my tenacity. people who both didn’t understand AND were jealous. and so, in order to KEEP MOVING and hearing myself, I had to do one thing and one thing only: abandon ego. I had to be willing to be criticized, and stand in the face of it and feel the shame or guilt or whatever emotions came up each time I was told by people/society/whomever that I was “wrong”, for being who I was/am.

when we abandon ego, we grow. ego holds us back. it wants to and, in fact, needs to so that we may “survive”, according to the timelessness of the ego which doesn’t know whether we are 9 years old or 40 years old because the ego doesn’t work in a linear fashion. so each time I hit the skids, seemingly, and so to speak, in my life, I had to abandon ego. and it felt like a death each time. and each time I did it, I held true to knowing that all of my mini-deaths were part of a much larger focus –and that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I knew that the flash-in-a-pan successes of “famous” or “successful” people were usually just that: flashes. I never desired something temporary, because I am not an addict in terms of short-term highs. I prefer the long, solid, unflappable highs — which really aren’t highs at all. and in this way, in this part of my life, I am the opposite of an addict. the way I see it, life, the meaning of it, we are all destined to move as FAR AWAY from addict behavior (in any and all categories of our life!) as possible, and that is the meaning of life.

the fact is, we are all multi-faceted. when we are constricted, we suffer (notably, physically). when we don’t listen to our own SELF, we suffer. we do this because we care what other people think. I wrote a whole article about that here. you should stop caring, as much as possible, about what other people have to say about YOUR life. and when you do, EVERYTHING that you have been doing — the “mistakes”, the “disappointments” that you have “suffered” because you “did it wrong” — will reveal themselves to you to be the very THREAD of your soul, being woven to show you your bigger picture. for example…

my first job (I won’t count babysitting from the time I was 10 on – ) at age 15 was working at an ice cream parlor. my second, of many hospitality jobs to come, was working as a hostess and waitress. I also worked at a snack bar flipping burgers. I did every kind of hospitality job there was, for many years, and as well in between “real” jobs. what is a real job anyway? going to a place to promote someone else’s dream and make them successful? sure. ALL “jobs” are really equal — and most people don’t know why they are doing them or who they are doing them for — unless they are doing the job for THEMSELVES. when you can do a job (ANY job) for yourself, you are living in integrity and actually able to GIVE something back to society. because you care about the xyz thing or job. but back to my first job. one might say, “what does hospitality have to do with anything else you have done? wasn’t that a waste of time?” – to which I would say no. I would also say that working in corporate finance was not a waste of time. nor was selling overnight shipping to C-Suites (only). why were these things not a waste of time?: they factor into EVERYTHING that I do today. while working in hospitality, I had to get to know all different kinds of people and statuses and understand how they responded to their own needs. while working in a corporate environment in finance, I had to learn how part of the WORLD worked – I had big accounts poached from me by my actual BOSSES, and I saw the seedy, competitive, shrewd side of business and masculine energy at play…and I noted how many of these masculine energies were jealous of me because I had that similar masculine energy but I was wearing a skirt, or whatever. I had to learn while selling overnight shipping, exactly how to gage the intonation of a voice over the phone and what that meant when I had only 15 seconds to pitch a top executive (C-Suites only! company rule!) and get them to meet with me face-to-face. I had to understand why the ONLY person to EVER approach for anything in life, is the end decision maker. because no one else CARES. no one. all of these things that I learned, developed my understanding of people in the real world, not the “psychic” world. and I needed, very much, the tangible and intangible understandings that resided in my heart and mind to blend so that I could successfully understand and help other people. helping people has forever been my goal – desire – purpose.

the thing is, though, I doubted myself at times. I worried that maybe I WAS what I heard other people say to me, about me; maybe I was scattered, maybe I was lost, and maybe I was (gasp)…non-committal. but, I knew better deep inside and I would keep going anyhow. yet the doubt hurt and it slowed me down longer than I wish I had been slowed down. this article is in large part about that — the doubt that comes in, when you are just being who you are. and the thing is, it is healthy to doubt because we can re-assess where we are and how to do it better. but, it’s not necessary to linger for longer than that healthy purpose. and people who live in fear, who are afraid to pursue their dreams, will make you doubt yourself. you can’t listen. and, it can be hard to know what is doubt and what is reality

the way to know the difference between doubt and reality is one way and I said it earlier: check your ego. who are you doing things for, and why? who are you appeasing? who are you trying to fit in for? if you can answer those questions, AND still go your own way, you can temporarily kill your ego and keep it in check. doubt is healthy and it washes over us as a feeling. reality — that we are actually doing something wrong — is when we are doing something strictly for outside praise, OR when we really DON’T feel like committing to anything and so we change jobs or interests at the drop of a hat in order to avoid ourselves. again, the key ingredient to know the difference is your ego death. if you are willing to go through the range of feelings that accompany an ego death and face them head on, it is likely that you are just in doubt. if you are not willing to go through the above, then there may be a reality to your doubt that has to do with your unconscious mind and patterns and not a healthy ego death. THAT notion is an entirely different article, BUT, if you are self-aware you can switch gears and then it is all the same anyhow…you are working toward everything that you were designed to be, once you surrender.

when I jumped away from corporate, I really had a death. I felt like a loser. I felt like I pissed away a 5-star education and my degrees. this is in part because I was “listening” to society by observing those around me. the people who just did their jobs, met their spouses at a happy hour, and moved to NJ to have kids. now, if I’m being really honest with myself, I WISH I could have that life. it would be so much more level (stable?) than the one my soul chose. there have been many, many times I have asked God to please let me just live a normal life. but I know what I’m made of – and I can’t change how I am made. and so I watched many of my friends go the conventional path while I wondered if there was something wrong with me, and if I was royally messing up my life. and, simultaneously to all of that concern I had, ironically and paradoxically, I ALSO DID NOT CARE. because I could hear my soul. not caring does not take away doubt and worry, though. and, as I say over and over again, there is never EVER any “better” path for any one person. if your destiny is to have an amazing family and work at the DMW your entire life then THAT IS A LIFE AND A DESTINY and a VALUABLE ONE – because the only part of living that ever matters is our ALIGNMENT (when thoughts = feelings = words = actions!). but aligned people know that. I know folks who work very “menial” jobs and they are SO HAPPY. because they are in alignment, and they get it that there is no such thing as “more important purpose” as it relates to one person or the next and their “outer world success”. all things are relative, and the only important thing is whether we are aligned or not. truly.

so in the above example, jumping from corporate, I felt like I was in no-man’s land probably for about a month. looking back, that is a REALLY brief time as compared to other jumps and subsequent dark periods I had, when honoring my path. and, like the other times during which I “jumped”, I wondered and worried if anything I had done in the past would relate to my future or if it was all just a waste. well: nothing was a waste.

in between film and tv jobs I worked MANY other jobs. and during that period of my life, the tv and film days, I also mistakenly thought “ok, this is it, this is my identity, I must focus ONLY on this now”…which was so not true. because we are never our job or our outer-world identity. and like all of the other times when I was either “forced” to jump, or my reality was ripped away from me, so then was my focused period of time on tv and film. and this is because I “HAD” to publicly set up Healing Elaine® and see that to fruition and “completion”. again, I felt scared, that one thing had entirely nothing to do with the next, and my now-4 careers absolutely would not blend. it is also important to note, that again, that feeling was just my ego. or I never would have kept facing it then jumping. and so I moved through that awful feeling of giving birth to myself (again) and dealt with the same push-back I always had from others who told me “I thought you were an actress, though?”. sure, I was an actress. I was also a hamburger-flipper. and a waitress. and an account executive. and…a person. I just chose to surrender to all that I was inside, because THAT was my calling. again, I didn’t consciously want to be made “this” way. but we are how and who we are, and it is all for a REASON…and it doesn’t matter what the path “looks” like. I then realized that YES OF COURSE, my career in corporate AND my career in tv and film in front of and behind the camera OBVIOUSLY line up with everything I did with Healing Elaine®! because without HE™, I would have no message. and without a message, all of my work with corporate and tv and film would mean…nothing to me as far as my bigger purpose was concerned.

I’ve mentioned that The Alchemist is my favorite book. it’s a lot of people’s favorite book, probably. and it is a genius book that I read in 2005 and again this year (and wrote a little instagram post about) — at which point it took on an entirely new meaning. and the point of the book is similar to the long-winded point I am making here: everything that you desire, from the perspective of integrity and ego death and learning, is preparing you for what you will become/already are. who you are is timeless, and it doesn’t matter WHAT that looks like on the surface. we never know God’s exact strategy in a timeline form, and it is not up to us to decipher. exerting that kind of control and demand onto the Universe is not the best way to go, and that is why so many people suffer. I’ve suffered in this way, during my transitions between one “career” and the next. and when I look back on EVERYTHING that I have done, it is ALL CONNECTED. had I listened to what anyone else had to say about my path, I wouldn’t be here. I would be stuck. and so it was worth all of the horrible feelings I had to contend with during my “leaps”. during the times that close friends, best friends, even, shamed me for my choices because they didn’t understand. the times that no one would support me or lend a hand because they said I was “irresponsible”. all of the horrible parts of my transitions were worth it. and so are yours…

you may be thinking “Elaine, I’ve been at the same job for 20 years, I can’t relate to anything you are saying”…well, sure you can. think about the last 20 years. time is IRRELEVANT here. what IS relevant, is where it has lead you. it has lead you somewhere. perhaps that somewhere is a conclusion. perhaps it is the understanding that you are very content and therefore exactly where your soul wants you to be. and if you are not happy, it has lead you to understanding that, so that you may LEAP and ONLY THEN understand the last 20 years of your life! it is really all simple, and perfect. and the point is, you can’t get it wrong!

make an outline of your life. all of the choices, jobs, and relationships. write them down. connect the earlier parts to the present tense parts, and then imagine that all of that is leading to something that you can not yet see, because you didn’t yet leap in some way (unconsciously). leaping does not have to mean leaving a job or making a tangible change. leaping can simply be a state of mind, a willingness to admit ego defeat, or something else within the confines of your mind. that leap, which is a surrender and realization, maps out your next steps. how magnificent is that? and if you are honest with yourself, you will understand it all. if you are not honest with yourself, you will remain confused. honesty or lack thereof produces karma. there is no way around that. and in either case, we are exactly where we are destined to be. let go of guilt.

I think of the deep, isolating feelings of personal death around my “identity” and how long some of those periods lasted. I wrote an article about these periods here — it’s long and worth a read. if you are confused about what “it” is, that is your long-winded transition, I also wrote about destiny and stagnation here. I imagine that all of us have (these) periods, during which we self-question. and what I want to share and convey is the fact that you can’t get “it” wrong. stop comparing your life to anyone else’s. NONE OF IT MATTERS. you probably would NEVER trade the relative facts anyhow, to be in “someone else’s shoes”! understanding that there is no external choice you can make that will alter your reality is important – it always has to be contended with on the inner level, and thoroughly, first, to count. if you are in your 20s and you wonder “what you are doing”, know that if you honor yourself, it remains to be seen. if you are in your 60s and you wonder “what have I done”, know that if you honor yourself now, it remains to be revealed and you will have peace. you can’t make a wrong decision in life, no matter what your life has looked life. yesterday already happened, and tomorrow doesn’t exist. really think about that concept.

find a way to work with both your inner and outer realities, and find common ground between the two. everything that you are doing (outer) and going through (inner) now is preparing you for where you want to be, whether you are 20 or 80.

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new Healing Elaine® prerequisite for any and all services (including workshops, etc)

in 2003-2004 I discovered two important people. one of them is Dr. Caroline Myss, and the other author M. Scott Peck. during this period of my life, I had recently come out of my first official dark night of the soul. I was rendered homeless with my tiny cat and garbage bags of belongings as I borrowed time on a very kind acquaintance’s couch in Greenwich, CT. I write about the events surrounding this initial call to hear my own spirit, in my eBooklet 1. you can download it off of my website www.healingelaine.com/shop or under the shop tab if the link gives you trouble. as I regained my sense of self and stability after having it nefariously pursued over — and over — and over again by those who were supposed to love and support me, I found myself again diving deep into what I loved as a small child: reading.

in 2003-2004 I was a young person, with little corporate experience but a whole lot of life experience. I knew that although “other” was an interest of mine, that I had to be taken seriously before I stepped into my world purpose. this meant to me that I had to build an actual real world life for myself – which meant, I was interested in learning the actual mechanics of how people work versus escaping my body through my psyche to solve problems (i.e. fortune-telling, psychic readings, etc). I fantasized, during this time, about setting up my healing practice but I knew it was too soon. I have always been a grounded person (hi, I am a Capricorn with a Taurus Rising and an Aquarius Moon – can you tell?), but again my destiny is something that always seemed to negate “typical”. as I focused on building a career in corporate America to stabilize myself and navigate the “real world” (also so that later on, “normal” people could relate to me and me to them in this way), and move away from the chaos that had pursued and followed me my entire life, I came across the two amazing authors. I was able to meet Caroline at a book/CD signing in New York City one year. her work met me at an impasse in my life that changed the way I felt about myself, and everything around me — it connected to all that I already knew within me in a way that is hard to put into words, and I do share about this in another post dedicated to her. during this time I also encountered (for the life of me, I do not know how — I must have simply been reading a lot at this time, or really, really seeking) the work of M. Scott Peck. I read People of the Lie in 2004. I can’t say that I remember much about the book in terms of particulars in terms of reading it at THAT point in my life, because I was still largely unconscious at that time in my life, sorting through my trauma and being in my early 20s. what I can say, is that I held onto his books (all of which I still have), and that they made enough of an impression to process something, somewhere, in the back of my mind that connected dots to my own personal truth and understanding. in a nutshell: I resonate with both of the above authors and particularly Peck’s book People of the Lie.

I read this book again recently, for the first time since 2004, and it hit me like a ton of bricks: the content in this book, while not even remembering some of the stories in it from the first time I read it, matches much of my intrinsic compass and the way that I have unwittingly approached my work with others. as you may have read in other posts of mine, I never wanted to complete my psychology degree in college. for a variety of reasons. my entrance essay to both Boston University and Northeastern University, the only two schools I applied to and both of which I was accepted, was based on growing up surrounded by narcissism, depression, despair, addiction, abuse, and how it relates to the human condition — aka my hellish life experience until the glorious day when I was 18 and got to leave it all behind. I do not believe I was astute enough with my writing at that time to put all of those concepts and experiences in the same context that I would now. but I recall thinking “my grades are not that good, because since sophomore year I attended school as little as possible…I dropped all of my extra-curricular activities…maybe this essay is the only thing that will get me into these schools because someone reading it will connect to me”.

this book is a key ingredient to understanding human evil. the incredible paradox in which we currently reside, socially and otherwise on our planet, can be attributed in much depth to much of what this book discusses (and much of what my own personal writing discusses). in other words, we are confused creatures and we assign “evil” to certain ideas, labels, structures or personalities, when, in fact, it is MUCH more insidious than that.

my own personal understanding of evil, with which I have GREAT unfortunate experience, is simply: someone who lies to themselves. they are aware of the lies. they will die for the lies. they are 100% committed to the evil. the lies allow what is hidden, what is dark, to persist and corrode all that surrounds them. someone who lies to others but not to themselves (which is, let’s be honest, something we all do – we all lie, big or small, at some point and in different ways) can be free from evil. if we were not in the flesh, we could possibly be free from our lies. but we are not; we are incarnate physical beings. this, requires a level of personal honesty to be free from evil (darkness). I have always had an appreciation for those who, though perhaps I don’t care for personality-wise, are honest. this is because I always know what I am getting from them. it’s a clean feeling, even if there is a feeling of dislike or even a strong difference in beliefs. I can deal with that which I can see. I have always had an aversion — physically, and otherwise — to that which I can not see. this is evil manifest. and as the book People of the Lie points out, IT IS EVERYWHERE.

our collective moral compass is shot, but it’s an individual responsibility to change it. as we change, everything around us changes. we can blame the media, we can blame a celebrity, or we can blame our past — but if we lie to ourselves, we ARE the problem. the ability to stand alone in truth is something very few people are willing to do — because it is hard and lonely. you can be attacked, brutally, for it. many people lie to themselves. they cave to temptation. money-fame-attention: falsities. and they seem like good people. great people, even. they hide behind non-profit work. church. law. social spheres. but they can’t actually hide forever. because as more people awaken to their own core, this darkness is exposed.

I have written about and posted about my own ideas of evil. evil will never seek therapy, unless it is under the guise of proving something to someone else or manipulating the therapist himself. evil will never actually have a bottom line. evil serves to CONFUSE. have you ever felt confused by someone? as in, they are saying A, but why do you feel B? they are presenting “evidence”, which makes sense and seems to add up on the surface, but you feel otherwise? that is evil. and it runs deep. and it corrupts entire souls and human beings. I’m not being religious here, I am being scientific. but you can apply this notion to whatever context most pleases you. most of you don’t actually know what evil is, because you have been exposed to it SO OFTEN that you are confused. but the important part is how you deal with yourself, within yourself. that is the key. the redemption. THE FREEDOM. I wrote about this a bit here, on how we fail in life because we want to be liked.

with all of this said, in addition to the other two prerequisite books that I have requested anyone who inquires about working with me to read in advance, I now add a third: People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck. it is also highly suggested, if you want to work with me in some capacity, that you have been in traditional psychotherapy for at least one year. I don’t want to see people who go from ayahuasca ceremony to tea ceremony to yoga retreat to breathing retreat to meditation retreat one after the next after the next after the next, simply as a means to LEAVE THEIR BODY and never actually look at themselves. thankfully I do not attract those folks anyhow (they would likely be turned off simply by my writing, or my eyes and make some sort of projection). I have attracted a few in the past, particularly early on in my work, and they are never satisfied with what I have to say. because they can’t hear the truth. leaving your body is not truth. we do not meditate to lose ourselves (you might as well be a drug addict), we meditate to connect to ourselves. TO OUR PERSONAL TRUTH. this book is grounding, and I am a fan. the most successful cases I have had, whether consulting personally for an individual or for their business, includes those who are grounded enough to tether themselves to the psychological work realms; meaning, they are talented therapists themselves, or they are or have been actively in therapy (with a good, traditional CBT therapist — as you may note, there are really bad ones. and I’ve seen them on my journey), OR, they are simply open to therapy (aka facing the facts).

although my words are direct and may seem to resound with thunder at times, it is because of my deep passion for lending a hand to individual and collective human experience. I am just a human myself, imperfect and always learning, but I won’t ignore the fire within me that never dies. it is the fire that I was put here on earth to burn, and it supersedes all that is false. I trade off a lot to keep this fire burning. it is often a burden, but also, I believe, an incredible blessing to come.

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this full moon today. plus, Venus retrograde, multiple dark nights of the soul, and general HE® updates


photo by Nadia Itani

as I type this post, Don Henley’s “In A New York Minute” has just come on. if you don’t already know, I tend to channel-write whilst listening to particular hit decade channels on spotify. and if you don’t know this song, read the lyrics. it sums up a lot, much pertaining to this post.

as I look back on my life, and as I’ve elaborated on in my eBooklet1, I have had a series of dark nights of the soul. the majority of my early years on this planet were a dark night no doubt. like one, long, and grey memory, it was marked with my wailing for God to please rescue me. I know that sounds depressing. and it was. much of my life I spent trapped in all ways – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. as I hid in tight places in the home I grew up in, or in the basement of the church I went to, I would pray to disappear. I would hold my breath so much that I would get dizzy. though I was never suicidal, I would have done ANYTHING to escape my reality. I wasn’t designed to be mentally ill, for better or for worse, so I did not become schizophrenic or dissociative. I believe 100% that this was so I could do the work I am doing now, in a particular way.

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there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

before I begin to address the above subject(s), let me start by saying that it is important to me that no one confuse any actual mental illness or chemical imbalance with what I describe in this eBooklet. often times, particular “awakening” phases can mimic symptoms of true mental illness and it is important to know the difference. symptoms of a mystical/philosophical variety and actual mental illness can “look similar” and at the same time there are DISTINCTIVE differences. and, many people who are mentally ill or who do have a mental illness are characterized by denial – even and especially during full-blown symptoms. if you are having ANY experiences that affect your ability to function in the outside world for days at a time, i.e. sleep, eat, and socialize with others, and/or if you are hearing audible voices or feel paranoid, it is very important to consider a consultation with a good psychiatrist. you may just be in an awakening process, you may in fact have a chemical situation in your brain that needs support, or you may have BOTH happening at the same time! so, that is to say that NOT everything you are going through that could be considered “bizarre” or “unique” is in fact such; classic mystical and philosophical states have their own category outside of a mental health condition and you have to know how that may or may not apply to your overall condition. this is a very tricky territory for some people to navigate, especially since the “intangible” or “mystical” is typically faced with complete intolerance and indifference in the medical community, and my heart goes out to anyone in a position where they actually need treatment and medication. I cannot imagine the added difficulty it presents for them. sometimes a massive awakening presents as a one-time psychotic break that mimics an illness yet it is not an illness. many times, however, a psychotic break is the indicator of the onset of a life-long condition that needs attention.

one of my major goals in this life, especially during this time of awakening on our planet, is to provide support for distinguishing a spiritual awakening, ego death, and/or dark night of the soul from an actual mental health crisis. in doing so, the actual mental health crisis – whether separate or accompanying the processes I describe here – can perhaps be addressed in a more cutting-edge and more powerful/effective way by medical professionals. many of the medical professionals I know personally who work at a high level in the fields of psychiatry or psychology are actually sensitives/intuitives themselves, and they have been forbidden to go near esoteric subjects from the time they were studying at University. introducing the esoteric or intangible to the science and medical communities has proven extremely difficult in mainstream medicine and psychiatry. fortunately, there are brave souls and doctors how have put their reputations on the line and broken the mold. I am excited because more and more of these special individuals are coming forward to help bridge the gap. the stigma around mental illness and chemicals in the brain is still awful, and treatment measures could and will be a lot better than what they have been up until this point.

I also want to state that I, personally, have no history of mental illness. while I enjoy/ed reading scores of books on various conditions and discussing them with my friends who were/are mental health professionals, I never experienced what I know those who suffer from actual conditions experience. however if I was, you had better believe that I would be a major personal public advocate for mental health based on my own story. if you are suffering chemically, please have a look at amazing, inspirational people who have both accepted, addressed and overcome the challenges they have been presented with. here are two to start with, Miss Elyn Saks, and Miss Eleanor Longden.

there should be NO shame or fear around chemical matters of the brain, yet shame and fear seem to permeate so many beautiful and talented humans who do experience chemical imbalances in the brain. I will do my best, with my various sensitivities both emotionally and physiologically, Bridging the Gap Between Medical & Spiritual™

most of the people I see are in the middle of one of these three processes. depending on the person, the process will move “fast” or “slow” – and time is most certainly an illusion during these phases, so it might as well be irrelevant to discuss time. everyone wants to know “how long”? “how much longer do I have to go through this”? my answer is always the same: how much longer do you want to keep resisting?

until we surrender to the throes of something we don’t understand, haven’t experienced before and cannot control, we will remain in a painful state. which is the whole point of visiting that state in the first place! we were brought there to surrender. this is not something that humans typically do well. we are raised in a culture of control, and now more than ever a culture of instant satisfaction; instant knowing. instant controlling. this is not how the internal human experience is designed, though.

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spiritual awakening

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live and be your dream: Juliet Tang’s Video Testimonial for Healing Elaine® in New York City

lots of people I see subsequently quit their jobs. they come in, thinking that “the grind” is a necessary part of life and they will never get out of it. they have been brainwashed and programmed to believe so. I show them that that conditioning is BS. there is nothing “living” about being a programmed individual who sees nothing but burdened “responsibility” and a linear account of how their life “has to be”. if we are unhappy where we are in life, we are not trees — we can move. thinking outside of the box is difficult, because it sets us apart… and as humans, the only thing we fear more than death is being ALONE (i.e. outcasted, unaccepted, etc)… piss on that fear.

This shining light, Juliet Tang, is a natural healer and empath herself. after our session together, Juliet left her corporate job and opened her beautiful healing practice in NYC. her ongoing study and certification in the healing arts, as well as those of Akashic Records and the like, keeps her practice and vision evolving to reach a vast collective of people who can benefit from her. here is her gorgeous website, JulietTang.com

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rooting out dead weeds in the form of beliefs and people

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rooting out dead weeds in the form of both beliefs and people will alter and expand your life in positive ways that are nearly unimaginable prior to the rooting out.
we often make many excuses for keeping dead weeds in the garden of our life. in doing so, we are completely missing out on soil that can birth a healthy and vibrant flower of life. this soil includes rapid expansion in the form of our innermost dreams and desires. intrinsic or core beliefs that we hold are directly connected to the type of person we allow to be in our life on any level. there are obviously various levels. as examples: acquaintanceship, close friend, beloved confidant or life partner. it doesn’t matter where someone is relative to said level – the specific nature and balance or imbalance of energy is still at play in our life in a significant way.
imagine we are all computers. we have programs that we have carried, as a result of being downloaded, since birth. every person in our initial and primal immediate environment downloaded us with a program very early on, whether it agreed with our master system or not. those programs were deemed essential by our ego in order to survive. again, “positive” or “negative” programming was irrelevant — whatever the ego was told it needed to be in order to survive in said environment is exactly the program that our subconscious became reliant upon. later in life, (hopefully) moving away from our primary caretakers enough to expand beyond these beliefs, we notice that we still carry many that don’t serve us. in order for our computer to perform a massive cleanup, we are often confronted with some sort of “tragedy” or awakening. we might have a series of awakenings. awakenings can come in many forms: death (either figurative or literal) and endings, illness, bankruptcy or homelessness and so on. as we begin to process these awakenings, our overall system is jarred and forced into subsequent reboots. when the system reboots and some the immediately obvious non-functional or toxic programs we held are cleared from the hard drive, we have the space to download or upload “new” programs. these programs are born from a place of newer and more expanded consciousness. a place of consciousness is a neutral stream of information that serves the highest good for all parties relative to the new overall system in place. every time we have a reboot of sorts, and the most obvious programs die, we allow in further consciousness. at this point, slightly later in life, it is less opinionated or biased based on needing us to “be” a certain way in order to accommodate others. on some level, we still will – but no longer (hopefully no longer) living in the same primal environment with the same cast of characters i.e. parents, relatives, teachers etc., we then mix in new programs with the old ones that have not yet been destroyed/deleted/ejected.
when new and old programs begin to share space, dominant frequencies begin to take over and cancel out the lowest frequencies that can not share that space. the law of physics states that two energies of different vibrations must match in order to share space. as our new/conscious/positive frequencies which are unencumbered by group or tribal needs find their home, the most contrasting and fewer, often lower, frequencies are forced out. we are left with frequencies/belief systems that now have a little bit of the “old” and a little bit more of the “new”. I put those words in quotes because I think of time and space, old and new, as all taking place at the same time although we experience time in a linear fashion. the old and the new beliefs then begin to duke it out. a single high frequency thought or belief will outnumber numerous lower frequency thoughts of beliefs. the above various beliefs are always a direct match to the people who are in our reality. we might find that the people in our reality fall into different categories at different times, based on our expansion. we might find that the people, tied directly to our core beliefs, whether we understand how or not, are perhaps 80% representative of the old or 10% of the old or 50% of the old and so on. we will notice just how “old” they are and what they are tied to based on our overall cleanup and mass upgrade. for example:
I had a friend for a very long time. over a decade. I met this person when my consciousness was still tied directly to some very unhealthy, almost sadistic core beliefs. at the time I met this person, I was better off core belief-wise than I had been in years prior. so of course, at that time, it was a “less bad” version of the core beliefs about myself from my first decade or two on earth. as time ticked by, this person naturally illustrated many of the negative core beliefs I held but didn’t fully realize. they were not fully realized because my ego was still reliant upon these beliefs under the veil of illusion that I was still a child and needed to play this role to survive. this friend of mine was unwittingly catering to my damaged programming, and it was serving me because I wasn’t ready to cleanup that program. also, relative to the time this person came into my life, they were a breath of fresh air in contrast to the initial origin and experience of that program. thus, I had actually made headway. over time, however, as I cleaned up other programs, I began to see that not only did my friend mirror many of the programs I was cleaning up and discarding in other areas of my life, but they also became a very simply and visibly “less bad” version of some of my earliest traumas. however somehow, like an old pair of shoes, they had become completely comfortable. holes, stink and all. they were always there, and they were always there because a small part of my subconscious still relied upon this program as a survival tool. even in my conscious mind, which began to point out some real points of contention and contrast to my evolving soul’s value, I almost immediately overlooked this out of subconscious habit. at this point my conscious and subconscious were in a total battle as my ego actually still strongly relied upon this program! ego is inaccessible to the cognitive mind, but if we are lucky enough we then have many mini ego deaths in order to fully surrender it around particular issues.
as years went by, I had accepted this friend just as I had the old shoe – an old, core belief that was embedded in me deeper than I had access to. although “proof” of disconcertion was often in my face more and more than ever before, because I was still not yet fully aware of or able to 100% surrender damaging intrinsic beliefs about myself, this person and their vibrational matching behavior remained present in my life. however, the nuts and the bolts of this program were actually loosening all along – along with my desire to match my intrinsic highest self and value. one year, I found myself in a rapid ascension of awareness, and gifts that began to counter my old core beliefs centered around this person began to show up. it almost felt like a chicken and egg issue: i.e. which came first, the “bad” belief or the “bad” friend? and I noticed it wasn’t just this friend that began showing up in the spotlight. random situations, similar dynamics with pet projects or even philanthropic work began to shine with ugliness as well. it was as if the Universe was truly spotlighting the garden of my life so that I could go in and do some significant weed-whacking. as the counter positive elements of my life and expansion took over, and highlighted the contrast of opposing core beliefs and subsequent people, I noticed that those opposing core beliefs and people began to burn up in the sun. it was as if they were taken out of the shadows and made so glaringly obvious that I couldn’t ignore it for another moment even. this was a byproduct of light illuminating dark. it was a byproduct of the fact that my “new” programs had simply become so many in number, that the old ones had to scatter like cockroaches in a basement where the light had just been turned on.
so, I arrived at a fascinating crossroad of dead beliefs and metaphorically dead people or relationships. the above example in particular highlighted a long “friendship”. as the lights turned on, I still had a hard time figuring out what came first: my “new” belief, or my “old” friend revealing themself in drastic and inescapable light. it was almost as if the Universe was laughing in the way that they were able to make this friend so obvious to me in a 3D context. what was both fascinating and disturbing, is that what was highlighted is something that was actually there just the same for over a decade – I had simply kept this reality in a hidden desktop folder. like the old pair of shoes, I had “accepted” this as my reality, with dread – but dread that I thought I had to live with regardless – as if it were part of me. in the moment of stark light and illumination around this person, I noticed a simultaneous awareness of a new core belief and core self value. I’m not talking about the obvious, on-paper kind such as “I exceeded my goal with work” or “I ran that marathon”. the awareness was much more subtle, yet incredibly strong, and read “I am deserving of the utmost respect and kindness”. but it didn’t read intellectually this time, as of course it had many times in the past. it read deeply: emotionally, physiologically, even physically.
I then arrived at the “final” stage, which was conscious decision-making stage. I could simply withdraw my energy, thus weeding out a person who no longer matched ANY of my core beliefs. and so I did. not even a remnant was left behind. which brings me to a point: we can not remove an “unhealthy person” from our life until we remove the core belief that matches it. it can be no other way. interior creates exterior. even when we think we have eradicated what needs to be eradicated on a conscious level, there is always the subconscious left to deal with. this is why people struggle so much with weight/addiction/etc. it is never about what we see, yet rather what we can’t see. it is about the physics behind the problem. when we understand where our attention actually goes, we can understand how energy flows.
so, I had withdrawn my energy. it was the only logical not to mention self-loving and self-respecting thing I could do. and let me say – the immediate tail wind energy of a nature in such strong opposition to this person’s previous function in my life was exhilarating, eye-opening and almost scary good.
how important is it for us to root out a dead weed in the form of a belief or a person? very important. if we are crucially stuck or we keep hitting that same “pattern” in life, or we can not “manifest”, it is safe to say that we are living in groundhog day fashion. and, if we are doing the best we can, sometimes groundhog day is just a part of the process to get us to such a dead end that we run out of gas and something has no chance but to die. but when we finally eradicate a dead weed in the form of a belief, we have the opportunity to open MANY doors. this can happen when we then identify a person or persons who fully match that belief. when that then is able to shift on a physical level, out of free will/conscious choice of withdrawal, our WORLD expands. rapidly and almost unbelievably at times. what we don’t realize is that in order for a belief and thus subsequent person who embodies that matching frequency to actually be part of our lives, we must feed it ENORMOUS amounts of life force energy. when we stop feeding it, the years and manifestations of that energy has no choice but to redirect in an immediately equal and opposite direction. and we can be sure that the opposite of whatever dead belief system we had going on is rather ecstasy-esque.
I can not say enough about my amazement of the doors that opened following this one core belief deletion followed by an imminent replica of such in human form. there are not many words to describe the intangible space that I felt open around me. it was as if what I always knew and felt I “deserved” was immediately accessible, and had also been standing in front of me for many months if not years even if I did not see it. I felt so supported by the Universe and incredibly at peace. I had so much more to give and receive. tangible dreams that were seemingly put on hold began to manifest or shift immediately. new and worthy relationships began to surface in a quiet yet fast way. most of all, my self-love grew even more. the garden of my life became more thriving, vast and beautiful than ever before.
one of my favorite videos on the subconscious mind/ego as it corresponds to belief systems is a series by daryl anka aka “bashar” on youtube called “brick wall beliefs”. for some, bashar is too much to handle as he is a self-proclaimed human channel for extra sensory and galactic intelligence. personal beliefs or thoughts aside, if we can tune into the actual content of his video series and the information being given, it will prove to be an incredible stepping stone. if we are ready to hear it and integrate it. the truth can be scary for many.
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testimonial from Mike: Healing Elaine® NYC

Mike reached out to me last year and he is one of the best people I know. he sent me this video this morning.

 

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Courtney’s Video Testimonial for Healing Elaine® in New York City

through my practice, I have had the absolute fortune and divine intervention to attract many powerful future healers and leaders who will publicly lead and speak on hybrid subjects of medicine/metaphysics/spirituality and extended topics. they are the new generation of the Marianne Williamson, the Eckhart Tolle, the Caroline Myss… the truth is that we are on the crest of a new wave as science, metaphysics and spirit merge. the definitions that these words have been given are broader and more relatable than we think. due to my acute awareness of “average” popular belief that the work I (and others like me) do was created in a palm tree somewhere in Malibu, creating a community of sound, educated (not that it matters, but it WILL matter to CERTAIN people – half of my patients are ivy league and some hold more than one MD and PHD) and bold leading edge presenters of ALL DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS on these subjects is a goal that is being realized through my practice every single day. there is SO much to come and at the most exciting time, in my opinion, on this planet.

here is Courtney’s story; she started her practice just weeks after we met, and you can find her at “Healing Heart And Reiki With Courtney”. remember her.. one to watch in the future:

 

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A Story of Uncording … as experienced by one of my patients at Healing Elaine®

[As a reminder, all of the topics and many of the excerpts listed here on my blog, fortunately, will be compiled in cohesive and edited fashion in my future eBooklets and book. For now, please enjoy here the raw and unpolished bones that are my skeleton! *Names have been changed to ensure anonymity]

“Uncording” is something that I incorporate into most, if not every, session I perform. Some of my patients are aware of what energetic cording is, and others are not. In short, we share umbilical-like cords with every person we have ever interacted with. Some cords are, obviously, stronger than others. Strong cords are particular to blood relatives, persons we grew up/shared physical space with, close friends and lovers. When two energies are unequal (all humans are created equal, all energies are NOT created equal), one energy must re-calibrate (keep in mind energy flows FROM TOP to bottom) to match the second energy. With this brief but hopefully understandable explanation (much can be read on the internet about corded energies) I lead into a recent patient experience with uncording that I think perfectly illustrates what happens to corded (and subsequently uncorded) energy between two people…

Michele* came to see me for the usual reasons people do…feeling stuck, feeling depressed, feeling as though she was going against her calling, yet not sure what move to make, and so on and so on…

Prior to my session with Michele, I felt a strong pulling and twisting in my gut, as well as a strong and dull ache down my right arm. For me, this indicated an intense struggle with a male energy, and the over attachment of such energy from said male to my patient. When Michele arrived and I began dissecting her immediate personal life, I immediately saw the male energy at hand present itself; though the template for such was set by her father, I saw the current grappling energy in the form of her coworker.  It is always important to know from which direction/individual most of this visceral energy imprint is coming from, so that I know how to best “attack” it. Usually, the physiological symptoms I was having around Michele would indicate a father or father figure, which would tailor our session’s approach to a particular fashion. However, being that the physiological symptoms I absorbed were not representative of a father or father figure (though they so strongly mimicked such, especially being that the origin for this energy to even birth itself was reflective of her father), a very specific combination of cognitive AND energetic approaches and execution were in order.

After tackling the cognitive aspects of this tricky and “hidden” dynamic between my patient and her coworker, I let her know that every move/change she made would be felt by the male energy in discussion. It is always difficult to fully explain to someone unless they have already experienced, in all senses, an energy attachment and subsequent detachment of such. I let her know that what I was seeing was something stronger than the usual corded energy — it looked like a dark, red mass…an entity of it’s own, between two people. I saw a circle with arrows spinning in a clockwise position. For me, this indicated the depth of the cords between these two people, which was only strengthened by precipitating factors with Michele’s own father. I saw that it would be rather difficult to break free of this energy, and that both parties would really feel it once I began the work. The work was necessary, because this entity was not only feeding off of my patient (and her coworker), but was clogging and confusing most parts of her psyche. Strong cords, and especially strong energetic attachments, can cause all kinds of problems!

When we began the physical part of the session, my hand hovered over her solar plexus (abdomen). I saw and felt a thick, molasses-type of energy. It felt dense, temporarily impenetrable and slow. As I worked on her entire auric and physical field, the energy loosened a bit. I felt slightly nauseous, and knew this would be a factor for her. None of my patients, prior to Michele, had thrown up after a powerful session, but they had let me know about intense and detoxifying bowel movements.

When I felt the work was “complete”, I explained to Michele what I saw and how I felt. She was feeling particularly relaxed and clear, and she went home. I reminded her again that her coworker would be directly affected by my session with her, and to be mindful of that on all levels.

The next afternoon, I spoke with Michele over the phone and she let me know that the impact of our session was more tangible than she thought it would be: that evening she threw up. The next morning she threw up again. She called her coworker and her job to let them know that she would be working from home that day. When she spoke with her coworker, he let her know “I don’t know what I ate, I have been throwing up all morning”. She knew immediately that they were sharing the break in energy of this once-strong entity/attachment/cord. What was happening? Each of them was releasing a dense, beast of a blockage that served neither one of them, namely my patient. This might be best understood in psychology as an unhealthy or dangerous “codependent relationship”; and it had manifested itself physically into two people’s — and the lives of those close to them — lives. To feel this experience of cord cutting is one thing…to see it is another thing…and to share it with another person is priceless.

This, folks, is the way energy works. We must never underestimate the presence and power of attachment/cords to others as they appear on all levels — seen and unseen. We must ask ourselves what is serving us and what is not…and think about some necessary uncording to live the most “free” and positive lives possible.

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