plagiarism and impersonation of my work and protocol…the phenomenon

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Alejandro Padron

folks. this feels like a petty post, but it has to be written.

when I started my company, I had to change my name three times. THREE. I chose a name and then yet another name and then yet another name that no one else had (of course I researched this extensively). I never imagined that anyone would not want to be exactly who they are (I still did not understand, at that time, why many people do not have identities of their own), and so I didn’t expect the copycat bandwagon to arrive. it did! in spades. after I settled into a third name “Healing Elaine®” (I have seen now, other Healing ___’s out there, but at this point I am not changing my trademarked brand as it is too established) I noticed another phenomenon — my actual words, structure, and way of working aka “protocol” (come on guys) was being replicated.

it started initially with patients of mine who were seeking identity. this was in the early days of my work. I would help them, and let’s say they were professional editors (oh, the irony). they would leave my office, and months later, pop up with a HEALING practice (these were not people who ever mentioned the slightest interest in “healing” or helping others, by the way). but not just that — they would copy/paste my actual words! as their own. I was just…mind blown. this was the start of what I began to realize is a long-running human sickness. it is something I saw growing up as a young person, and I wrote a blog post about it a few years ago — it is called Hostile Envy. basically, the premise is that someone gets close to you (in those days it was in person, not online!) and then suddenly 180s and “doesn’t like you” anymore. this is basically an example of an individual without identity, trying to claim yours, and splitting off a piece of themselves as “anger” which is disguised as “you’re not a nice person, I don’t like you anymore!” IN ORDER TO BECOME YOU. this happened to me constantly as a child. and, now it happens constantly as an adult! you can’t make this stuff up.

as my business moved along (and I’ve written about various examples of copycat syndrome in other posts, and people I helped unbelievably who then had to “distance” themselves from me — because, they either wanted to become me or parrot me or compete with me), I noticed people I once knew personally regurgitating my teachings; but not only that…grasping at straws for my patients’ attention and connecting with them. I literally had a $35 dollar psychic who had NO platform or social media when I met them, completely inspire their business after me. including a name change. including subject matter that was not even on their radar prior to meeting me. and to boot, after I promoted them and sent dozens and dozens of referrals their way, they bad-mouthed me to my own clients! it was like the 7th grade allllllll over again. but it didn’t start or end there.

I referred a patient of mine to a “best-selling author” a number of years back. I figured, hey, this author is successful so what could be bad about sending them business? well, looking back, I’m not so sure this author even wrote their own book. they had hired a ghostwriter, and somehow commissioned a well-known author and speaker to write their foreward. basically, you can do ALMOST anything with enough money — because enough people can be easily bought. sadly, most people can be easily bought. anyhow, the patient I sent to them took a class they were teaching. this person let the author know that I sent them. the author pretended to not know who I am, but I knew that they did. do you know, that within a month, this author had completely replicated my format!? down to the exact hour count. down to the explaining of the process, yet they were careful enough not to totally plagiarize my words (unlike people I am currently shocked at). now, WHY would a “best-selling author” need to do this? it’s a phenomenon that I write about, and one that I just LOVE talking about in therapy. because, of course, my therapist is not one of these people. rather, he is probably THE most achieved person in neuroscience and psychology and psychiatry who exists in today’s world, but it’s HIS WORK. he is a powerhouse. and, he’s quiet about it and doesn’t need attention. he just does his work. and, we talk about this phenomenon and why it happens to ME, constantly. the phenomenon as well that you say to someone, “sorry, you can’t merge with me” and suddenly you are hated/bad/mean/wrong/etc. watch what happens when people who are currently ripping me off are confronted, because they have no identity of their own…I will suddenly become a “bad” person, because I have reflected back their void. it’s truly unbelievable how it all works.

after the “best-selling author” incident, it just kept happening. people who I invested hours and hours of pro-bono work in, helping them to build companies of their own and fostering their gifts that they had never even considered, would either ghost or find a reason to “not like me”. I realized, “it’s happening again…”…I realized that in order for these copycats to exist, I could not exist. or else, their world would not make sense.

I don’t want to embarrass anyone, but it’s been happening again. it doesn’t hurt, because I don’t know these recent people personally. they have followed my accounts on and off (because, you know, transference; on / off / on / off — it’s a psychological disorder), watched every story like an addict, and then…become a version of me. I have been sent examples of accounts/people doing this, and I have observed accounts doing this. most recently, someone trying to “make it” in NYC has parroted my ENTIRE protocol. they also did the thing where, they follow a bunch of people, then then unfollow everyone. just like my accounts follow 0. well, frankly, my accounts follow 0 because I am SO sensitive, that I am afraid of NOT following someone and hurting their feelings! my work is so deep and personal with people, that I just don’t want to risk hurting some impressionable young person (or, anyone for that matter). I also just do NOT feel a pull to look at other people’s lives. honestly, I just…don’t. and finally, it was a way to stop the bizarre TROLLING of who people thought I was friends with / connected to. no thank you.

so, there is this individual now (depending upon their psychological state, it could really excite them that I am writing about this — people will do anything to be “seen”), parroting my “protocol”. verbatim. mandating prerequisites – my prerequisite book mandate. COME ON, folks, really? not only that, what’s more disturbing than copycatting my actual process (down to their specified “phone calls only”, and “due to high demand” reasoning — again, you can’t make this stuff up) is their “reasoning”; it’s reasoning that arose from my core. MY core. it’s not only bizarre, but totally unnatural. and, it is how people energetically “move in”, to other people. by trying to…become them. this is more than surface stuff, it is energy vampire stuff.

this stuff doesn’t end in middle school, guys. and, it’s disturbing and it SHOULD be noted as disturbing (as well as illegal — I pay very good money, monthly, to ward against plagiarism and YES I will address all of the above legally) because it is a total invasion of privacy. this model of behavior is the reason serial killers kill: they have zero identity, and so they absorb that of others…until, their mind can not handle the fact that the person they are robbing essence-wise and life-force wise STILL EXISTS. well let me tell you something: I exist. and there will never be two of us.

the work that I do, lets people know that they are ENOUGH all on their own. I foster individuality and gifts. I am fortunate to predominantly attract amazing people (and I’ve obviously gotten better at it over time) through my work who have enough “SELF” to make lots of lemonade with it. it is so ironic to me that I also attract the polar opposite; and, if you are not careful, and you too attract this and don’t recognize it, you will be left feeling depleted and then-some…assuming you are a sensitive person.

stalkers, impersonators, copycats, plagiarists, addicts and sociopaths are all in the same family; and what I write about above, is REALLY no different. it just depends upon the degree to which it occurs. I know that typically, the best response to these things is NO response; I actually only confronted ONE person ever, with regard to the above, and that is because they are not crazy. typically, people just want attention, and so they do this, hoping you will notice, and then once you engage it is like their CRACK. and, they go into denial, blame, projection, etc etc etc. it is someone’s ultimate fantasy to be confronted by an otherwise successful person — it validates to them that they exist. my “PROTOCOL”, however, is a legal consideration. I won’t tolerate plagiarism, not of my concepts and not of my words. if someone wants to read my blog on speed and regurgitate it on a podcast (this happens, too!), and pass it off as their own, FINE. go ahead. you can’t fake being who you are, and anyone who buys into it is also living at a level of un-truth. so, go for it. pretend to live my experiences. but if you are mimicking my words in copy, you will be pursued. don’t try it. also, I won’t contact you directly — my legal team will. so, you will not get the buzz you are looking for because I won’t be part of the equation. this is as much energy as you’ll get from me.

the epidemic of lack of self, is huge. it happens at the “highest” levels in society, too! many people spend a LIFETIME becoming OTHER PEOPLE. as I always say: humans are created equal, but energy is not™. this is legit. you must discern who / what you are dealing with! what we see is not what we get. people who pretend to be other people are simply really good at never being themselves — because who they are is dark. the only way to transmute dark is to look in a mirror — and those who parrot, copycat, mimic and over-identify with others will NEVER look in the mirror. so, it’s important to just…stay away from them. the same way I am suggesting that anyone with an ounce of sanity stay away from duplicating what I offer to the world. if you are sane, if you are talented, then JUST BE YOU. you are plenty. you are only you. there is only one of you. you are unique. DARE to find your talents, because they are endless. it is not TALENT that blesses a person, but the COURAGE to identify and AWAKEN that talent!

don’t plagiarize me.

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the Dalai Lama, women’s looks, and the foolery of the human ego & body

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

inspired by ignorant trolling.

dear entire population of planet earth,

it is possible to be out-of-this-world intelligent, spiritual, talented, powerful, authoritative, authentic, unique, successful, AND…physically beautiful.

don’t get it? it’s ok. I did not get it either at one point.

for reference to my very personal experience and perspective on looks/aesthetics and all physical bodied things that the media manipulates us with, please refer to my in depth (and free — not all of them are anymore) article here.

challenges inspire me. ignorances inspires me. pains inspires me.

I have always been a deep person. MEANING, I have always, always weighed the core of a person first, versus their external appearance. however, like most human beings, I was brainwashed to believe that an individual (for the sake of this article and relative to the Dalai Lama comment, I will speak about “women” — so, whatever that means to YOU) — a woman — had to choose: am I smart, or am I beautiful?

clearly we all understand, to a degree, that advertising and the grand social and human (tech) experiment that we are all under is to thank for early life confusion around inner versus outer as it relates to our human experience. thankfully, I did NOT grow up with social media. I didn’t even have a cell phone in high school. so, with that said, I feel like I am between two generations in terms of HOW a person builds their identity, relative to our current/modern day world as it relates to societal messaging. so when I was young, many “moms” still stayed at home. while I can not speak for anyone else’s personal experience, I will say that my own (feel free to refer to any other blog post that will further inform you about my background) experience dictated brain VERSUS looks — brain OR looks — when it came to a “woman”. in conjunction with that, I was a surrogate wife for a male caretaker from a very young age, and I was told that although my female caretaker was “beautiful”, that she wasn’t smart. but that I WAS.

when I was 8, my head was shaved. I write about this in my other article. if you have any sort of a psych background, you can guess as to why that was mandated. the entire night before the big event (which, by the way, I HAVE COMPLETELY BLACKED OUT – I CAN NOT REMEMBER AND I WANT TO), I do remember crying myself to sleep. it wasn’t much different from any other night for me, except I felt that I was about to lose my identity. I did NOT want my shoulder length locks chopped. and, they were shaven. all the kids at school tortured me about it, and the “cut” happened twice. it was a buzz cut. everyone thought I was a boy. which, had I felt like a boy, would have been fine. but I didn’t feel like a boy.

as I grew up, and grew beyond having my essence and identity stripped in THAT way (among many others), I was constantly reminded of how smart I was (alternating in between beatings and punishments, for reasons I still can not recall). smart was all I had. “doing well” and making others happy was all I had. if I did not have that, and I was “beautiful”, then I would be forsaken. tossed aside. plus, I saw how fast “beauty” could disappear — with only a number 5 razor cutter! I HAD TO SHOW MY INTELLIGENCE! I did it, before age 15 when I quit everything, through sports music and academics. I constantly won awards. by the time I was a teenager, “things” started to catch up with me. I had little energy. I felt sick all of the time, more so than the regular feelings of fatigue and sickness as a child (I used to randomly vomit in the middle of the night, awoken that way straight out of my sleep). so I quit symphonic orchestra as a lead flautist. I quit the Varsity tennis team I made as a freshman, upon my sophomore year. I quit piano (I was classically trained and played by ear, and wrote my own music and lyrics). I stopped attending classes (I was voted “least likely to be seen”). when I was in school, I took long naps in the nurse’s office and needed notes for missed classes. I often slept through my first couple of classes despite drinking coffee. so, I sort of…”lost” all that I was praised for. and, I still just didn’t GET the looks thing…

as I “blossomed”, if you can call it that, I received male attention. quite frankly, I didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t date or sleep around. I had a serious monogamous relationship for 3 years as my first relationship. but I embraced myself as “an attractive woman”. though, I could never fully “let go”. although many of my outfits were from a Britney Spears catalog circa 1999, and because well how fun was clubbing in the 90s and early 2000s before social media!?, I still needed to be “smart”. part of my way of managing that was to not date around or sleep around, even after my first break up. I can’t say that I regret it one way or another, what I “did not”, do. but I know that I was terrified of being judged for being beautiful. now, how to get around that judgement?

during my junior year in high school, one of my caretaker’s took my sister to a modeling casting call. I went along to support it. while there, the director of the agency gave me her card. I was one out of thousands in the long line wrapped around Time’s Square. I called her, I met her, she offered to work with me and pay me for a weekly gig (weekly runway shows at a restaurant for lunch), and I never went back. I turned down dozens of these sorts of opportunities in my teens and twenties. although it would have been perfectly acceptable for me to enjoy my “looks”, I could not bring myself to focus on that. one, because of my past. and two, because I wanted to show the world that the body we carry is NOT who we are. to this day, THAT is my mission. and, I am still working on the former. I am working on further embracing the silly “physical” package that we all place so much importance on. it fascinates me.

so when a troll (I do not open private messages on social media platforms, though I have sent them on rare occasion) online recently suggested that do not have a right to post “Vogue” photos of myself while being spiritual at the same time, I was…inspired.

if you read my post on the Kardashians here, you will understand what I think of a human body. it’s…just a human body. but we all know…that that is not how we FEEL. the human body does all kinds of things, because: procreation. obviously. and so we go in and out of ego, constantly. therein lying the IRONY I will present to this world.

when I started Healing Elaine®, I hid behind a middle name and NO PHOTO. for several years. to be perfectly clear, early on, I was TERRIFIED of anyone knowing what I looked like. why is that? partly because of all of the above — I know how people judge people. but also, because well, I did too, just a teeny bit. I judged mySELF. I still didn’t see how a woman could be beautiful AND spiritual. beautiful AND intelligent. because of all of the things that I mention above.

I no longer reside in the above space, mentally. one of the reasons that my protocol states I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU BEFORE I MEET YOU, it is because I am alive — which means I have ego, in order to actually physically STAY alive. which comes from experience. which translates to “logic”. I don’t want any logic for my sessions, that’s not how “it” works anyhow. so the more being, and the less human I can be, the best. and no longer residing in a space of confusion about whether I am “allowed” to be physically “beautiful” by society’s crazy standards and instructions, I am “out of the closet” in this way. I am not hiding. in fact, I am FULLY embracing all of me — body, mind and spirit. do you know what that really means?

it means breaking barriers. lots of people talk about folks like Marilyn Monroe being “feminist” figures — now no offense Ms. Norma Jean, the only things I have heard about you are that you slept around with other people’s men and were a Hollywood “sex symbol”. clearly, you were much more than that – we are not our physical. and while I place no judgement, I SAY, you were not known for your mind. so, how could we (society) ever combine both? many famous women “got there” because they got naked. this was also my greatest desire to NOT lead with — my appearance. the reason being, not that I thought it wrong — I do not find Marilyn Monroe to be wrong, I do not find stripping to be wrong, and I do not find anything that a “woman” wants to do with her body or how she wants to present it to be wrong. nope, not even one tinge of a bit. but for ME, for MY PURPOSE, I knew that I could not lead with that. and obviously, I never wanted to lead with it anyhow. and that, I knew, was important, because PEOPLE WOULD NOT GET IT. so I built an entire business first, which focuses solely on the intangible. the part that MATTERS in our human circus game of life. the part we overlook. the only part that matters. and I built it well. it spans all countries, all religions, all backgrounds, and of course hence, “looks”. the best part for me, for my heart, is that all of these people, the people I have worked with, knew me before they “saw” me. that feels like heaven to a girl like me, who just wanted to be SEEN as a small child — and not for her looks.

the Dalai Lama was once asked, “if you could reincarnate as anything or anyone, what and who would it be?” – he answered, “a beautiful woman. because then everyone would listen to me”. I will let you ponder that quote on your own.

my point is, I am just now real-time old enough to “know a lot” – yet still young enough to be “relevant” (thanks, mainstream media and beauty industry) because of how I look physically. I will take advantage of both of those things at the same time. I will not feel guilty about it. I know that one of those things isn’t real. and as I do not hold back, hopefully I set a new standard for how the world relates to tangible and intangible “beauty”.

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