Sharon’s Video Testimonial for Healing Elaine®

I am so grateful to get to work with people of such inner-caliber. working with Sharon was a treasure, and I really appreciate her video testimonial. I haven’t posted every Healing Elaine® video out there to my blog, so feel free to visit my YouTube channel and subscribe for updates there. in addition, the subscription box for my blog is back on the home page of this here website, if you would like to subscribe to blog updates.

every session or otherwise Healing Elaine® related experience is different (including my TEM® and PE™ offerings), and everyone processes them differently, but the bottom line is resounding gut level connectivity – for both/all parties. I believe that there is someone for everyone. so, even if you never see me, perhaps some of my videos will open you to the thought that you have someone out there who you can and will connect to and who will perhaps open a window in your mind’s eye. we never walk this journey alone, even if the other people walking alongside us we will never meet; we are still walking beside many people who think and feel as we do. and it may help to know just that as you go about your day/week/life.

FRIENDLY DISCLAIMER: Healing Elaine® / Elaine is a Reiki Practitioner and Ordained Minister, but is not a physician, dietitian, nutritionist, or psychotherapist. Her advice, workshops, written content, and healing sessions are considered supplementary in nature and should not be a replacement for conventional medicine or psychiatric care. Please consult your physician or other licensed healthcare professional for any physical or psychological ailments you may be suffering or think you may have. By attending any seminar, class or session provided by Healing Elaine® / Elaine, you acknowledge that in no event will (Healing Elaine® / Elaine) be liable in any way directly or indirectly for damages resulting from information, data, classes or healing sessions provided or for the loss of profits through the use or misuse of said information and data, either via its use, negligence or other actions.

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when joy re-enters

photo by Anita Saini

I touched on the broad strokes of this concept in my recent instagram post.

many of us have been working toward “joy” which, as a concept in and of itself, one (or the “average” person) would consider a natural and spontaneous experience. and it should be. yet when we are blocked or rather when we commit to ways of thinking (out of survival, but then really out of pure CHOICE), we obstruct that flow called “joy”. also, to be clear, I do not believe that “joy” means the same thing to everyone. I have met and experienced either very ill or simply dark-energied people who, upon first glance, one might consider joyless and feel badly for them…but upon second and third glance I’ve realized that “joy” for some folks is literally pain – they actually can’t get enough of it. the notion that we are all energetically equal is our greatest misstep. the idea that everyone thinks like us precedes this often grave misstep.

back to the point of this post. I can look at my life or the life of anyone I’ve worked with and see the various categories of turbulence — emotional, psychological and spiritual (often HENCE, physical) — that are being worked through and I picture the following: a few main arteries of core/spore contrast (aka trauma — and yes, we all have it), with hundreds of veins extending around each main artery. the veins represent what I call “follow up” experiences, that appear to reinforce the main artery or initial core trauma experience/s. because we are made like tracking devices, and one solid trauma in the shape of this artery is planted upon impact, I would say that every single experience post-artery formation is simply a butterfly effect of that initial experience. this means that each time we experience the same, we have the choice to either affirm or deny the cellular history that flows through our bloodstream at a rapid pace BACK to this main artery to “inform” us as to what this new experience means. it is in this part of the communication, from veins to artery, that we have a choice to either “risk” rewiring the information, or to ENFORCE the placement of that artery that flushes the blood that matches all of our followup experiences. so when we feel like we “can’t change” or like things “keep happening TO us”, we are actually battling DNA coding. this is why it can feel like we are getting nowhere after 5, 10, 20 and more years of working on a core issue (artery).

what I saw this past weekend with others and as I do in my own personal life experience, was the actual tipping point in which all of the veins (the subsequent experiences that match an original trauma, or artery as I refer to here) began to re-inform that main artery, giving it a chance to unblock it’s actual point of origin and messaging — so that it can allow for joy, which in my mind is simply the unobstruction of trauma. by the way, when I use the word trauma, I am using it in a VERY vast context. the thing is, so many of us are walking around traumatized aka UNCONSCIOUS and do not even know it. and so we do not dare refer to “it”, our lack of joy, as trauma. we blame everything else, or everyone else, instead. except when we have been consciously working and working and working on ourselves for an extended period of time…

and this is the place that I find most people. there is a solid reason that I list pre requisite reading. most folks I see have been addressing themselves and inner worlds for a long time. perhaps they have sought the best that the psych world has to offer — and when the right person is discovered, there can be little to nothing quite as effective and healing as psychotherapy (which we ALL need — don’t argue me! if you think you don’t need it, you probably REALLY need it. but, the right kind…which can take some effort to come upon). perhaps they have done every new-agey “trick” or perceived “short-cut” (p.s. there are NONE) out there like drugs or plants. either way, the cataclysmic shifts that take place within us usually come upon the heels of long-term effort. I see therapists, I receive recommendations from therapists, and there is a reason: all of that attempted reprogramming of the veins I mention in this post is waiting to line up with a most-needed conversation and time-travel — back to that artery…in a way that “clicks”…in a way that finally gives us the courage to risk letting go of and shifting the very first piece of information we ever received (trauma).

of course this is another metaphor I am painting to describe ego death. but there are so many ways to address the notion of an ego death. it is not one-dimensional, and there are many ways to experience approaching such an experience. it’s infinite actually. and it fascinates me. we die a million deaths before we actually physically die. it never stops. unless we decide to stop growing…and in that space we consciously choose to obstruct our joy.

growing requires embracing fear. deep fear. this fear feels like a complete threat to the body. as we approach this fear, that initial artery strengthens itself and pumps more blood than ever to keep us “alive” and safe from that first experience — it screams its bloody algorithm of fear and “information” as it trickles itself into the veins that seem to resemble it so clearly. people, places and things — everything that has happened over the past X many years — look EXACTLY like that main artery of issue…only, they are not. they may be similar in some ways or many ways, but they are just metaphors to collect enough data and information to finally rewire the artery to unobstruct joy.

the biggest social issue that we face right now is the repeated algorithm of our traumas. I do believe that most every one of us (minus those who relish in illness and negativity and really do enjoy it — yes, this is a thing, call it sociopathy or narcissism or whatever you deem fit) intends to move beyond our main arteries of trauma. this is why it is easy for me to have compassion for so many different people, with so many different backgrounds, beliefs and experiences. at our core, we all actually want the same things. it’s our individual main arteries that keep us in our little boxes. all you have to do is go on twitter to see all of the grown-ass adults in their sandboxes spewing plenty of vein-to-main-artery rhetoric that divides us not from others, but from ourselves first. because it’s easier that way. short-term…

my greatest personal challenge has been exactly what I am writing about here: reinforming the main artery through a series of bloody vein communications that seem to only serve that core trauma and make continued agreements with it. and the further we go, the more we die, the more conscious we become, the harder the tests…we may, in fact, “attract” the same trauma, over and over and over again. this is not to say that it does not exist. what I am saying is that beyond that INITIAL trauma or artery, we are ACTUALLY given free will to ALTER the wiring of the original artery and its algorithm. this can take years. lifetimes. hence the difficulty we all seem to face in terms of allowing joy to flow, or even enter our sphere…

in addition to stating in logical terms the above difficulty, I will illustrate a bit of it in terms of the tipping point that I point to in this post. as we get “closer” to reprogramming ourselves beyond trauma, we will be served with nearly “identical” subsequent traumas to test us (see also my post on the butterfly effect of abuse). the Universe will send us a person who looks, feels, smells or in some other capacity reminds us EXACTLY of that initial trauma. we may SWEAR it is the same thing. and, frankly, IT MAY BE…but here is my point…at this level in the game, we are able to make (risk) a new decision about what that person or experience represents to us. this simply requires “allowing” the perceived worst case scenario to happen to us. for example. if I have a history of experiencing an abusive boss or superior in the workplace, and I have been to therapy or doing some sort of self-help work around the issue at hand and possibly WHY I continue to experience this, right on the heels of great change I may attract seemingly the worst offender I could imagine in the form of a boss. it will then be in that moment that I get to choose and talk through the issue: “ok, this person has the hallmarks of xyz. my body is having a reaction to them. they look like person X. their behavior is like that of person X. but…here are some slight differences…is there any negotiation in my mind that will allow me to DIS-empower this person as my initial offender? is there any room for movement at all?…ok well I can see that I’ve moved the dial very far in my own personal work on person X already…maybe I can use that ‘work’ I have done to build my confidence to take a risk around this subsequent vein of a person who appears exactly like that main artery…ok I choose to empower the beast of that spore hence this vein less than yesterday…”. when we reach the tipping point of a transitional belief that has been ingrained in our body and mind and spirit, we will notice just the slightest room for negotiation in our mind about who the shadow of person X and person X themselves each are. in my experience, NOTHING and NO ONE will ever have as much power as that initial artery, or person X, or our original trauma. even if the butterfly effect and those actual vein experiences are fundamentally worse on a logistical or logical level…let that sink in.

the honor I have of working with extremely complex and layered experiences of others is like none other — when we can take years, emotional and spiritual data, psychological algorithms, and the recognition of TRUTH in all forms and combine this in a way that compliments someone’s tipping point of change…well, I don’t even have enough words to describe what it feels like to witness someone’s shift. in that moment, and it may be soon, or it may be later, what they have done and what we have done is reprogram that main artery. even if it is one artery of many that need to be reprogrammed in order to experience or unobstruct joy, it is an entire artery of truth and LIFE FORCE. we look different after we can allow this joy in, as in its purest form, it is life force. when we are in flow, there is no drug, no nutrition, no workout, no relationship, no tactile thing that can come close to radiating the power of such a revelation. joy is the absence of an obstructed artery.

we are not the way the world or others perceive us. but it takes time to even understand what experiences we are WEARING that color the lens through which others see us, hence the way we ACTUALLY SEE OURSELVES without realizing it. of all these arteries and veins of experiences or obstructions, there may be timelines for each that are specific and individual in nature. one obstruction may last 20 years, whilst another may last a lifetime. others may be shorter in duration and significance. this is often why, when unobstructed, we feel a joy that surpasses what we are able to imagine. this is what we did last weekend.

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where we are at right now (energetically), individually and collectively

photo by Jennifer Santaniello

the old door has closed. the new door hasn’t opened. this has a lot of us feeling very WTF!!! (probably an understatement).

being caught, metaphorically (but it can feel literal), between two doors is some super uncomfortable shit. we try to go back to our old ways, our old beliefs, our old fears, our old life…and life just isn’t having it for us.

not everyone will make it through. it all depends upon how much we are willing to surrender to things that we are not certain about, in order to change ourselves to accommodate the new earth energy that has come through to support us and our consciousness. by the way, consciousness extends to EVERYTHING in our life – our relationships, our physical reality, and the thoughts and feelings that produce those things.

so, what is it that we are not certain about? we are not certain that our “new” (what lies behind the new door) thoughts and feelings will support us. because how would we know that they will, beyond blind faith?

it’s funny how we trust the unseen in many ways — like via technology. we turn on a light or a phone and communicate that way. but when it comes to our own computer, our own body and mind, we question the nature of our spirit as it relates to the “future” because we don’t have a tangible item to hold to control. and this is all about control…

when we truly release control, we feel as though we are dying. because in a sense, we are. but back to that feeling — like we are dying. it’s a real feeling when we are no longer allowed to access our old ways of being. and so we sit in limbo. we will sit in between the two doors — because both can NOT be opened at the same time — and we suffer. we rage. we complain. we repeat the same patterns. and they don’t work. we use force, “magic potions” and all kinds of bullshit to try and cheat the universe…and yet they either do not work at all or they severely backfire. and then we sit. again. alone in the room. either with all of the money in the world, or none of the money in the world, sweating and stressing over bills and basic logistics, and it is ALL the same. we are still stuck between two doors, and nothing material can change the state.

everyone’s time between these two very LOUD and present doors is different. collectively, it’s probably a 6-month to 1-year hold as far as I see it. individually, it can shadow or teeter on one side or the other of that time period. but it is not a mistake that “everyone” feels like shit is hitting the fan at the same time. we are all being asked to be different. there is no hierarchy in spiritual growth. no one escapes it. all things are relative. no gurus can escape it. no non-believers can escape it. what we do with it is irrelevant to the fact that it will sit there until we allow….”it” is the boiling hot or freezing cold temperature between the two doors, and “allow” is what we decide to stop grabbing for in order to feel cooler or warmer.

if you haven’t figured it out by now, we are all connected. everything that we do to another we only really do to our own self. some of us will never figure that piece out, and that’s fine. it’s called contrast and we need it in order to expand. there is nothing in my life that I have built that did not come from extreme pain aka contrast. that said, yes we are all connected, and no we are not all energetically or consciously equal. this part is the part that separates us from certain group-think, friendships or relationships that we have had our entire lives, jobs, and so on. we are a mosaic and all shifting in equal but RELATIVE terms. there is no one who has it easier than the next. and the next time you go to “wish” you were xyz person, think again — because you just might get the challenges that accompany them on their “lucky” journey and then you might actually have a HUGE problem because it’s not what you bargained for. we don’t see what is actually there, rather we only see what we are “not”, relative to our own potential.

it’s been a really painful time for so many people lately. and it’s because we are collectively stuck in between two doors. some of us are still trying to open the old one, and some of us have our hand on the new one, accepting that the old one will never again open. this year, I went through a real death of self when I tossed my work space out the window. it was a space that I built more than half a decade ago, and many healings took place there. experiences that I will never forget. I had identified, like we all do, with what I was doing — constant healings. around the clock. even if I worked with just one person a week or one person a month, they were with me for many months. I was in contact with them for countless hours, both in person and virtually. I was accustomed to what I WAS…which was a routine, an identity, a duty, a life. I do tend to live in the moment, and so “easing” into my next steps (= dreams and purpose) wasn’t really on my radar. well, that’s not the way that the universe likes to do things for me anyhow. the universe likes to put me in really impossible situations (why I love working with mystery illness issues and fertility issues! I love the thrill of possibly solving them!) to see how I will climb out of them. and the thing that I do know about myself, is that I always use integrity. and it is integrity alone that “gets me out” of my old or outgrown worlds. for more on that part (thoughts on integrity), read my earlier posts. when I realized that I was being cut off from scaling my work and my business because it was not sustainable to my energy, it was the end of 2017. and it just kept changing toward what I have always wanted, but wasn’t sure how to “get” to. what I wanted is written throughout this entire blog. but in order to “get” there, the universe had to murder my identity. this meant taking fewer sessions. seeing fewer people. dragging me away, in a certain format, from what I “love”. so that I could open a new door(s).

losing this perceived identity was hard. you might be thinking “what are you talking about, you are still a healer…”…well I am talking about the daily minutia. because THIS is where the real change occurs. I’m not talking about the kind of identity change or life change that happens overnight. it’s the daily everything that is coated with everything behind the old door. we can not possibly outsmart the process between the two doors, or “plan” for it. this is why most people sit at a 9-5 and fantasize about what it might be like to have fame or money or work for themselves…it (the ability to change, to have something different) is all in the minutia. and the minutia is addictive.

I’m not sure exactly when this next “door” is done opening for everyone (and the door is certainly relative to someone’s life path and how they have used their free will — feel free to read my eBooklet on the physics of karma), but we are in a collective motion. which means we are each grappling with what it all means, regardless of where we are headed. I feel that the next year is going to produce seemingly “overnight” positive changes and success for those who have been working toward goals for many years. as always, nothing sustainable is built overnight (so don’t get me started on social media – those who don’t understand sustainability are in for a shock over this next period of time). and so all that has been worked for behind the scenes, mostly in the inner world of an individual, for what possibly feels like an eternity for many people, is the next door. I know what my door feels like. I’ve had my hand on it for about a year now. and I know that what lies behind it is magic. this comes in the face of some of the most exaggerated contrast you might imagine would oppose magic. but hey, there’s my relativity. do you want it? probably not.

if you are trapped between your two doors, and you have taken your hand off of the old one, just sit there. in the hot, or in the cold, or whatever miserable temperatures have been handed to you as conditions for what you are internally acquiring for your next steps which are behind the new door. just sit there. when the internal and external aspects of your life have been ripened with different temperatures, you will, simply by the very nature of being a live being, put your hand on the new door. if you don’t have all of the answers or maybe you don’t even resonate with this post at all, know that you have two fundamental choices: enter an old world (impossible), or brave the storm that precedes the new world (door).


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if you have recently and repeatedly been hurt, disappointed or betrayed, I have good news for you

photo by Jennifer Santaniello; logo by Shamona Stokes

if you have recently and repeatedly been hurt, disappointed or betrayed, I have good news for you.

in a nutshell: you are going places, and you are being reminded LOUDLY of exactly who, what and where is NOT supposed to come with you.

if you are anything like me, you love to share. you love to uplift. you love to give props to others for no reason or personal gain. you just have a lot to give. and although this is a wonderful quality, as I mention in my last post, there is something MAJOR that must be incorporated into this quality and way of living and that is called: discernment. without this, we simply can not and will not succeed.

over and over and over again, I have had my mind blown by people and situations that I had the best of hopes for. who I only had hope for. who I saw only the good in. and over and over and over again, after I have gotten over the initial disappointment in learning that no, not everyone has something to GIVE (therefore they take — but really, actually end up with nothing in the end), I have seen WHY the hurt, disappointment or betrayal occurred…and this has ALWAYS – without a doubt – been PROTECTION

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this full moon today. plus, Venus retrograde, multiple dark nights of the soul, and general HE® updates


photo by Nadia Itani

as I type this post, Don Henley’s “In A New York Minute” has just come on. if you don’t already know, I tend to channel-write whilst listening to particular hit decade channels on spotify. and if you don’t know this song, read the lyrics. it sums up a lot, much pertaining to this post.

as I look back on my life, and as I’ve elaborated on in my eBooklet1, I have had a series of dark nights of the soul. the majority of my early years on this planet were a dark night no doubt. like one, long, and grey memory, it was marked with my wailing for God to please rescue me. I know that sounds depressing. and it was. much of my life I spent trapped in all ways – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. as I hid in tight places in the home I grew up in, or in the basement of the church I went to, I would pray to disappear. I would hold my breath so much that I would get dizzy. though I was never suicidal, I would have done ANYTHING to escape my reality. I wasn’t designed to be mentally ill, for better or for worse, so I did not become schizophrenic or dissociative. I believe 100% that this was so I could do the work I am doing now, in a particular way.

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my first experience/the first time I consciously felt kundalini energy

photo by Jennifer Santaniello

once upon a time, I was immediately post-college and post massive awakening — huge ego death, my life had crumbled around me in every way possible, and I truly entered my first CONSCIOUS dark night of the soul (you can read about it here in my eBooklet 1). I had moved back to the Northeast where I was raised, and I was trying to stabilize my life — i.e. get a good/boring job, find a place to live and pay my rent, and daydream about my next steps.

before I had moved back to the Northeast, and during my period of substantial change and chaos, I often ventured out on the town (alone). I loved being alone! (still do). I never knew what the night might hold in terms of who I would meet, or what energy I would feel in xyz space. I would turn on music, pre-party alone, and head out in one of my wild outfits (during this time I also wore a lot of fake hair — a LOT of it) that made me feel like a character in a marvel movie. one night I went to this particular spot that was the spot of the moment. it was always filled with well-known actors, musicians and athletes, and I loved peering in on their world. I didn’t want to be part of it (because I knew what it entailed and either it wasn’t for me, or it wasn’t my “time”), but I did like being around it. I liked being invited places with those people because I found them super interesting and my energy felt safe with other “weirdos” who had somehow “made it”. at this one spot as I refer to above, a man approached me. usually I kept to myself, danced alone in a corner, and just enjoyed observing. on this particular night, I spoke with this very well-mannered, well-dressed man. actually, he was too well-dressed. I almost felt like a peasant around him, lol. he also smelled VERY good. to this day I do not know what flavor of cologne he sported. everything about him was special, worldly, and…intense. he was a laid back guy, had traveled the world, owned hotels in various spots, C-suited/worked in like 3 different industries which were totally unrelated, and rubbed elbows with really incredible people. I kept wanting to understand how he got to where he was, as he was the truest unicorn I had ever met. he was older than me, maybe 15-20 years. I was about 23 or so at the time. while I found him attractive and all of the above, I was not attracted to him. I also found him to be old, lol. in my early 20s I thought that 30+ was dinosaur territory, and I also thought that there was something possibly wrong with anyone who was single over 30. again, lol. anyhow, my new friend made it clear that he had traveled the world and never met an energy like mine before. he was interested. and so at the time, and perhaps for years after that, I just thought that compliment about my energy and being was a come-on. but his words/compliment would resonate super loudly later on…

after a series of explosive bombs and warfare ignited in my internal and external worlds, a couple of years had passed and we were still in touch. he had a to-die-for apartment spanning the penthouse of a wall street building, and he invited me for a night out on the town. I had always felt safe with him despite his interest in me, because he never once made me feel uncomfortable. he took care of me like an older brother would. I did not realize, at the time, how potentially rare it was for a grown man to spend time with a female he was interested in, and ask nothing of her other than platonic friendship. at any rate, we went out for my first night on the NYC town in years. we went to all of the “see and be seen” spots, and back then before social media destroyed the social night life, this was a really great scene. it attracted energy based on actual attraction, not promotion. there was a vibe, in certain places, that can’t be artificially created. as we ordered our first drinks — vodka cranberry — we took a sip and went to the dance floor. within moments he began talking to someone and I began to feel something I’d never felt before. my entire body began to flood with light. I don’t know how else to describe it. I had never taken a party drug before, and certainly never encountered anything that had made me feel that good, and the only thing I could compare this feeling to was being on a ton of pain killers post surgery. but it was beyond even that. as I stood with my drink, feeling this pure ecstasy, I immediately got nervous that I had been slipped a drug. which was nearly impossible. my friend was a health nut, didn’t believe in drugs, and woke up every day at 5am to do yoga at sunrise. I put my drink down and kept feeling my body. I felt so good that I was afraid. it contradicted almost everything I had ever felt in my life, up until that point. I looked around the room again for anyone who might have been the culprit of this intense high I was feeling out of nowhere. I could not pinpoint it, and I almost wanted it to stop because I had no control over knowing the source or the reason for this feeling. at some point the feeling passed, I mentioned it to my friend, and we went back to his incredible penthouse. he let me know that he doesn’t invite people over, not even close friends, because he didn’t want their “energy” in his space. again, I thought he was just trying to compliment me. I went to sleep in his guest room, and I recall feeling just very good and safe. I woke up at 530am to use the bathroom and I saw him doing yoga through his bedroom door. then I went home and forgot all about the experience I had that night.

a couple of years later, I was still forging my path of difficulty and working many different jobs. my interests were so varied and I was concerned that I would never amount to anything on paper because I was pulled in so many different directions. after working in finance and corporate trade and barter, and then advertising, I jumped ship to be my own boss. one of my next “jobs” was photo-doubling on a TV show. I had some direction, but it was all foreign territory and most people around me didn’t understand what I was doing or why. one day on set, my body began to buzz again. loud. I immediately flashed back to the experience that I had with my older man friend that night, in the nightclub. I thought well, ok, definitely no one has slipped me any kind of mind or body altering substance, and I remember this feeling. as I sat on breaks on set that day, I began googling like a maniac. I came across kundalini rising. BAM. things started to make sense…I consciously understood what was brewing inside of me.

I looked back at the time that I met this special man. I recalled his overwhelming resonance with my energy field. I recalled being at my rock bottom in all ways in life, feeling like a complete mess, but recognizing that people still wanted to be around me….??? I thought about how during that phase of destruction, there was a new energy birthing inside of me. I couldn’t recognize it at the time, but others sure did…I realized that this first period of tremendous difficulty in my life was maybe somehow connected to this…kundalini thing I was reading about!? but what was it? I connected the first set of dots and realized that my chakras were experiencing a cleansing during the time that I met my friend. they continued, during my years of difficulty, to clear. and when we reconnected a couple of years later, I was able to “meet” the energy that he had recognized in me, but that I could not yet see in myself. I HAD to call him from the TV set that day…

my eyes began to well up as I understood the fact that he “saw” me. I realized that it was more than a physical or intellectual attraction to/from him. and I realized that the power of his being intimidated me, though I loved being around it. as I reached out to him that day on set, I told him “my entire body is buzzing — I think I am experiencing a kundalini awakening/rising, do you know what that is?” we had never spoken about kundalini or many such words that the average person doesn’t throw around in their vocabulary. he said to me “this is the energy that we have been sharing since the day that we met”. even writing this makes my eyes well up with tears. this was the first “real” connection that I had with another human being, and I was so young. I had nothing to compare it to. he was there to prompt some of my own energy that no one else could prompt. this is real, by the way. we all have meridian lines that only certain people can help us ignite. we are equal in rights not in energy. know this!!!

looking back at this period of my life, I feel great affection for it. I had not realized at the time, how special this man was in my life. he also seemed “too good”, if that makes sense. I never thought I could measure up to his class, his achievements, his worldly knowing, etc. I would not say that I felt inadequate, but perhaps just rather in awe. and as I recall our encounters I shudder in the resonance that he “saw” me the whole time. even when I did not see myself. and if he had explained what that truly was at the time, I would not have understood it anyhow. he knew and understood things that I did not, during that time. and he let me be. because he didn’t see me, he saw…ME. my first experience with kundalini involved being seen. SEEN.

our processes are always met with the right people and the right energies, at the right time. someone may be assisting us in ways that we will not understand until much later in life. knowing how divinely ordered this seems to have been in my life brings me tremendous peace. even on my worst days. understanding the chaos as well as the bliss brings me tears of joy and gratitude.

kundalini energy is something that we share with a certain soul group. this is my belief, I have not read that belief anywhere else (yet). and again it is because we are each so different in our energetic make-up. sometimes we “stumble” upon one of its group members during a strange time in our life. I have concluded that it is usually during a chaotic time. and the person we will stumble upon will have already passed through the eye of the needle. and in doing so, when the two energies connect, the seasoned energy can hold space for the person who has no idea what is about to hit them/their life. it’s fucking beautiful.

 

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there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

before I begin to address the above subject(s), let me start by saying that it is important to me that no one confuse any actual mental illness or chemical imbalance with what I describe in this eBooklet. often times, particular “awakening” phases can mimic symptoms of true mental illness and it is important to know the difference. symptoms of a mystical/philosophical variety and actual mental illness can “look similar” and at the same time there are DISTINCTIVE differences. and, many people who are mentally ill or who do have a mental illness are characterized by denial – even and especially during full-blown symptoms. if you are having ANY experiences that affect your ability to function in the outside world for days at a time, i.e. sleep, eat, and socialize with others, and/or if you are hearing audible voices or feel paranoid, it is very important to consider a consultation with a good psychiatrist. you may just be in an awakening process, you may in fact have a chemical situation in your brain that needs support, or you may have BOTH happening at the same time! so, that is to say that NOT everything you are going through that could be considered “bizarre” or “unique” is in fact such; classic mystical and philosophical states have their own category outside of a mental health condition and you have to know how that may or may not apply to your overall condition. this is a very tricky territory for some people to navigate, especially since the “intangible” or “mystical” is typically faced with complete intolerance and indifference in the medical community, and my heart goes out to anyone in a position where they actually need treatment and medication. I cannot imagine the added difficulty it presents for them. sometimes a massive awakening presents as a one-time psychotic break that mimics an illness yet it is not an illness. many times, however, a psychotic break is the indicator of the onset of a life-long condition that needs attention.

one of my major goals in this life, especially during this time of awakening on our planet, is to provide support for distinguishing a spiritual awakening, ego death, and/or dark night of the soul from an actual mental health crisis. in doing so, the actual mental health crisis – whether separate or accompanying the processes I describe here – can perhaps be addressed in a more cutting-edge and more powerful/effective way by medical professionals. many of the medical professionals I know personally who work at a high level in the fields of psychiatry or psychology are actually sensitives/intuitives themselves, and they have been forbidden to go near esoteric subjects from the time they were studying at University. introducing the esoteric or intangible to the science and medical communities has proven extremely difficult in mainstream medicine and psychiatry. fortunately, there are brave souls and doctors how have put their reputations on the line and broken the mold. I am excited because more and more of these special individuals are coming forward to help bridge the gap. the stigma around mental illness and chemicals in the brain is still awful, and treatment measures could and will be a lot better than what they have been up until this point.

I also want to state that I, personally, have no history of mental illness. while I enjoy/ed reading scores of books on various conditions and discussing them with my friends who were/are mental health professionals, I never experienced what I know those who suffer from actual conditions experience. however if I was, you had better believe that I would be a major personal public advocate for mental health based on my own story. if you are suffering chemically, please have a look at amazing, inspirational people who have both accepted, addressed and overcome the challenges they have been presented with. here are two to start with, Miss Elyn Saks, and Miss Eleanor Longden.

there should be NO shame or fear around chemical matters of the brain, yet shame and fear seem to permeate so many beautiful and talented humans who do experience chemical imbalances in the brain. I will do my best, with my various sensitivities both emotionally and physiologically, Bridging the Gap Between Medical & Spiritual™

most of the people I see are in the middle of one of these three processes. depending on the person, the process will move “fast” or “slow” – and time is most certainly an illusion during these phases, so it might as well be irrelevant to discuss time. everyone wants to know “how long”? “how much longer do I have to go through this”? my answer is always the same: how much longer do you want to keep resisting?

until we surrender to the throes of something we don’t understand, haven’t experienced before and cannot control, we will remain in a painful state. which is the whole point of visiting that state in the first place! we were brought there to surrender. this is not something that humans typically do well. we are raised in a culture of control, and now more than ever a culture of instant satisfaction; instant knowing. instant controlling. this is not how the internal human experience is designed, though.

click here to purchase the full eBooklet text now

spiritual awakening

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live and be your dream: Juliet Tang’s Video Testimonial for Healing Elaine® in New York City

lots of people I see subsequently quit their jobs. they come in, thinking that “the grind” is a necessary part of life and they will never get out of it. they have been brainwashed and programmed to believe so. I show them that that conditioning is BS. there is nothing “living” about being a programmed individual who sees nothing but burdened “responsibility” and a linear account of how their life “has to be”. if we are unhappy where we are in life, we are not trees — we can move. thinking outside of the box is difficult, because it sets us apart… and as humans, the only thing we fear more than death is being ALONE (i.e. outcasted, unaccepted, etc)… piss on that fear.

This shining light, Juliet Tang, is a natural healer and empath herself. after our session together, Juliet left her corporate job and opened her beautiful healing practice in NYC. her ongoing study and certification in the healing arts, as well as those of Akashic Records and the like, keeps her practice and vision evolving to reach a vast collective of people who can benefit from her. here is her gorgeous website, JulietTang.com

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rooting out dead weeds in the form of beliefs and people

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rooting out dead weeds in the form of both beliefs and people will alter and expand your life in positive ways that are nearly unimaginable prior to the rooting out.
we often make many excuses for keeping dead weeds in the garden of our life. in doing so, we are completely missing out on soil that can birth a healthy and vibrant flower of life. this soil includes rapid expansion in the form of our innermost dreams and desires. intrinsic or core beliefs that we hold are directly connected to the type of person we allow to be in our life on any level. there are obviously various levels. as examples: acquaintanceship, close friend, beloved confidant or life partner. it doesn’t matter where someone is relative to said level – the specific nature and balance or imbalance of energy is still at play in our life in a significant way.
imagine we are all computers. we have programs that we have carried, as a result of being downloaded, since birth. every person in our initial and primal immediate environment downloaded us with a program very early on, whether it agreed with our master system or not. those programs were deemed essential by our ego in order to survive. again, “positive” or “negative” programming was irrelevant — whatever the ego was told it needed to be in order to survive in said environment is exactly the program that our subconscious became reliant upon. later in life, (hopefully) moving away from our primary caretakers enough to expand beyond these beliefs, we notice that we still carry many that don’t serve us. in order for our computer to perform a massive cleanup, we are often confronted with some sort of “tragedy” or awakening. we might have a series of awakenings. awakenings can come in many forms: death (either figurative or literal) and endings, illness, bankruptcy or homelessness and so on. as we begin to process these awakenings, our overall system is jarred and forced into subsequent reboots. when the system reboots and some the immediately obvious non-functional or toxic programs we held are cleared from the hard drive, we have the space to download or upload “new” programs. these programs are born from a place of newer and more expanded consciousness. a place of consciousness is a neutral stream of information that serves the highest good for all parties relative to the new overall system in place. every time we have a reboot of sorts, and the most obvious programs die, we allow in further consciousness. at this point, slightly later in life, it is less opinionated or biased based on needing us to “be” a certain way in order to accommodate others. on some level, we still will – but no longer (hopefully no longer) living in the same primal environment with the same cast of characters i.e. parents, relatives, teachers etc., we then mix in new programs with the old ones that have not yet been destroyed/deleted/ejected.
when new and old programs begin to share space, dominant frequencies begin to take over and cancel out the lowest frequencies that can not share that space. the law of physics states that two energies of different vibrations must match in order to share space. as our new/conscious/positive frequencies which are unencumbered by group or tribal needs find their home, the most contrasting and fewer, often lower, frequencies are forced out. we are left with frequencies/belief systems that now have a little bit of the “old” and a little bit more of the “new”. I put those words in quotes because I think of time and space, old and new, as all taking place at the same time although we experience time in a linear fashion. the old and the new beliefs then begin to duke it out. a single high frequency thought or belief will outnumber numerous lower frequency thoughts of beliefs. the above various beliefs are always a direct match to the people who are in our reality. we might find that the people in our reality fall into different categories at different times, based on our expansion. we might find that the people, tied directly to our core beliefs, whether we understand how or not, are perhaps 80% representative of the old or 10% of the old or 50% of the old and so on. we will notice just how “old” they are and what they are tied to based on our overall cleanup and mass upgrade. for example:
I had a friend for a very long time. over a decade. I met this person when my consciousness was still tied directly to some very unhealthy, almost sadistic core beliefs. at the time I met this person, I was better off core belief-wise than I had been in years prior. so of course, at that time, it was a “less bad” version of the core beliefs about myself from my first decade or two on earth. as time ticked by, this person naturally illustrated many of the negative core beliefs I held but didn’t fully realize. they were not fully realized because my ego was still reliant upon these beliefs under the veil of illusion that I was still a child and needed to play this role to survive. this friend of mine was unwittingly catering to my damaged programming, and it was serving me because I wasn’t ready to cleanup that program. also, relative to the time this person came into my life, they were a breath of fresh air in contrast to the initial origin and experience of that program. thus, I had actually made headway. over time, however, as I cleaned up other programs, I began to see that not only did my friend mirror many of the programs I was cleaning up and discarding in other areas of my life, but they also became a very simply and visibly “less bad” version of some of my earliest traumas. however somehow, like an old pair of shoes, they had become completely comfortable. holes, stink and all. they were always there, and they were always there because a small part of my subconscious still relied upon this program as a survival tool. even in my conscious mind, which began to point out some real points of contention and contrast to my evolving soul’s value, I almost immediately overlooked this out of subconscious habit. at this point my conscious and subconscious were in a total battle as my ego actually still strongly relied upon this program! ego is inaccessible to the cognitive mind, but if we are lucky enough we then have many mini ego deaths in order to fully surrender it around particular issues.
as years went by, I had accepted this friend just as I had the old shoe – an old, core belief that was embedded in me deeper than I had access to. although “proof” of disconcertion was often in my face more and more than ever before, because I was still not yet fully aware of or able to 100% surrender damaging intrinsic beliefs about myself, this person and their vibrational matching behavior remained present in my life. however, the nuts and the bolts of this program were actually loosening all along – along with my desire to match my intrinsic highest self and value. one year, I found myself in a rapid ascension of awareness, and gifts that began to counter my old core beliefs centered around this person began to show up. it almost felt like a chicken and egg issue: i.e. which came first, the “bad” belief or the “bad” friend? and I noticed it wasn’t just this friend that began showing up in the spotlight. random situations, similar dynamics with pet projects or even philanthropic work began to shine with ugliness as well. it was as if the Universe was truly spotlighting the garden of my life so that I could go in and do some significant weed-whacking. as the counter positive elements of my life and expansion took over, and highlighted the contrast of opposing core beliefs and subsequent people, I noticed that those opposing core beliefs and people began to burn up in the sun. it was as if they were taken out of the shadows and made so glaringly obvious that I couldn’t ignore it for another moment even. this was a byproduct of light illuminating dark. it was a byproduct of the fact that my “new” programs had simply become so many in number, that the old ones had to scatter like cockroaches in a basement where the light had just been turned on.
so, I arrived at a fascinating crossroad of dead beliefs and metaphorically dead people or relationships. the above example in particular highlighted a long “friendship”. as the lights turned on, I still had a hard time figuring out what came first: my “new” belief, or my “old” friend revealing themself in drastic and inescapable light. it was almost as if the Universe was laughing in the way that they were able to make this friend so obvious to me in a 3D context. what was both fascinating and disturbing, is that what was highlighted is something that was actually there just the same for over a decade – I had simply kept this reality in a hidden desktop folder. like the old pair of shoes, I had “accepted” this as my reality, with dread – but dread that I thought I had to live with regardless – as if it were part of me. in the moment of stark light and illumination around this person, I noticed a simultaneous awareness of a new core belief and core self value. I’m not talking about the obvious, on-paper kind such as “I exceeded my goal with work” or “I ran that marathon”. the awareness was much more subtle, yet incredibly strong, and read “I am deserving of the utmost respect and kindness”. but it didn’t read intellectually this time, as of course it had many times in the past. it read deeply: emotionally, physiologically, even physically.
I then arrived at the “final” stage, which was conscious decision-making stage. I could simply withdraw my energy, thus weeding out a person who no longer matched ANY of my core beliefs. and so I did. not even a remnant was left behind. which brings me to a point: we can not remove an “unhealthy person” from our life until we remove the core belief that matches it. it can be no other way. interior creates exterior. even when we think we have eradicated what needs to be eradicated on a conscious level, there is always the subconscious left to deal with. this is why people struggle so much with weight/addiction/etc. it is never about what we see, yet rather what we can’t see. it is about the physics behind the problem. when we understand where our attention actually goes, we can understand how energy flows.
so, I had withdrawn my energy. it was the only logical not to mention self-loving and self-respecting thing I could do. and let me say – the immediate tail wind energy of a nature in such strong opposition to this person’s previous function in my life was exhilarating, eye-opening and almost scary good.
how important is it for us to root out a dead weed in the form of a belief or a person? very important. if we are crucially stuck or we keep hitting that same “pattern” in life, or we can not “manifest”, it is safe to say that we are living in groundhog day fashion. and, if we are doing the best we can, sometimes groundhog day is just a part of the process to get us to such a dead end that we run out of gas and something has no chance but to die. but when we finally eradicate a dead weed in the form of a belief, we have the opportunity to open MANY doors. this can happen when we then identify a person or persons who fully match that belief. when that then is able to shift on a physical level, out of free will/conscious choice of withdrawal, our WORLD expands. rapidly and almost unbelievably at times. what we don’t realize is that in order for a belief and thus subsequent person who embodies that matching frequency to actually be part of our lives, we must feed it ENORMOUS amounts of life force energy. when we stop feeding it, the years and manifestations of that energy has no choice but to redirect in an immediately equal and opposite direction. and we can be sure that the opposite of whatever dead belief system we had going on is rather ecstasy-esque.
I can not say enough about my amazement of the doors that opened following this one core belief deletion followed by an imminent replica of such in human form. there are not many words to describe the intangible space that I felt open around me. it was as if what I always knew and felt I “deserved” was immediately accessible, and had also been standing in front of me for many months if not years even if I did not see it. I felt so supported by the Universe and incredibly at peace. I had so much more to give and receive. tangible dreams that were seemingly put on hold began to manifest or shift immediately. new and worthy relationships began to surface in a quiet yet fast way. most of all, my self-love grew even more. the garden of my life became more thriving, vast and beautiful than ever before.
one of my favorite videos on the subconscious mind/ego as it corresponds to belief systems is a series by daryl anka aka “bashar” on youtube called “brick wall beliefs”. for some, bashar is too much to handle as he is a self-proclaimed human channel for extra sensory and galactic intelligence. personal beliefs or thoughts aside, if we can tune into the actual content of his video series and the information being given, it will prove to be an incredible stepping stone. if we are ready to hear it and integrate it. the truth can be scary for many.
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testimonial from Mike: Healing Elaine® NYC

Mike reached out to me last year and he is one of the best people I know. he sent me this video this morning.

 

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