everything that you are doing and going through now is preparing you for where you want to be

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

“you’re scattered”; “you need to choose one vocation”; “pick a focus”…I used to hear these things ALL OF THE TIME. in my 20s. except, I knew deep within me something that THEY did not know: I was building my multi-faceted future and the road to MY destiny, by…being multi-faceted and living MY life, MY way. this is how it should be. we should each find out, who WE are, not who THEY tell us to be.

when I was 18 months, I climbed up a ladder on the side of my house and launched myself over the top onto the roof. I also used to hurl myself over my crib bars to escape it. so, perhaps it’s in my soul’s blood to venture out like a Maverick. but, you don’t have to be a so-called Maverick or pioneer-type to understand that EVERYTHING you are doing and going through now is preparing you for where you want (when I say want, I speak to the AUTHENTIC you on a deep and honest psychological and spiritual level) to be.

I used to hit 2-4 year periods of “ceiling”. meaning, I would focus on something for a period of time, get bored, and move on to the next thing. this never meant that I was abandoning those things/skills/experiences that I got “bored” with and moved on from — in fact, it was quite the opposite – I was filing my experiences and interests into a folder that would later be part of the book of my life. however, each time I was “done” with something (it might have been a job, or a relationship, or an interest), I would hear the riot act from many people around me. people who didn’t understand. people who were jealous of my tenacity. people who both didn’t understand AND were jealous. and so, in order to KEEP MOVING and hearing myself, I had to do one thing and one thing only: abandon ego. I had to be willing to be criticized, and stand in the face of it and feel the shame or guilt or whatever emotions came up each time I was told by people/society/whomever that I was “wrong”, for being who I was/am.

when we abandon ego, we grow. ego holds us back. it wants to and, in fact, needs to so that we may “survive”, according to the timelessness of the ego which doesn’t know whether we are 9 years old or 40 years old because the ego doesn’t work in a linear fashion. so each time I hit the skids, seemingly, and so to speak, in my life, I had to abandon ego. and it felt like a death each time. and each time I did it, I held true to knowing that all of my mini-deaths were part of a much larger focus –and that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I knew that the flash-in-a-pan successes of “famous” or “successful” people were usually just that: flashes. I never desired something temporary, because I am not an addict in terms of short-term highs. I prefer the long, solid, unflappable highs — which really aren’t highs at all. and in this way, in this part of my life, I am the opposite of an addict. the way I see it, life, the meaning of it, we are all destined to move as FAR AWAY from addict behavior (in any and all categories of our life!) as possible, and that is the meaning of life.

the fact is, we are all multi-faceted. when we are constricted, we suffer (notably, physically). when we don’t listen to our own SELF, we suffer. we do this because we care what other people think. I wrote a whole article about that here. you should stop caring, as much as possible, about what other people have to say about YOUR life. and when you do, EVERYTHING that you have been doing — the “mistakes”, the “disappointments” that you have “suffered” because you “did it wrong” — will reveal themselves to you to be the very THREAD of your soul, being woven to show you your bigger picture. for example…

my first job (I won’t count babysitting from the time I was 10 on – ) at age 15 was working at an ice cream parlor. my second, of many hospitality jobs to come, was working as a hostess and waitress. I also worked at a snack bar flipping burgers. I did every kind of hospitality job there was, for many years, and as well in between “real” jobs. what is a real job anyway? going to a place to promote someone else’s dream and make them successful? sure. ALL “jobs” are really equal — and most people don’t know why they are doing them or who they are doing them for — unless they are doing the job for THEMSELVES. when you can do a job (ANY job) for yourself, you are living in integrity and actually able to GIVE something back to society. because you care about the xyz thing or job. but back to my first job. one might say, “what does hospitality have to do with anything else you have done? wasn’t that a waste of time?” – to which I would say no. I would also say that working in corporate finance was not a waste of time. nor was selling overnight shipping to C-Suites (only). why were these things not a waste of time?: they factor into EVERYTHING that I do today. while working in hospitality, I had to get to know all different kinds of people and statuses and understand how they responded to their own needs. while working in a corporate environment in finance, I had to learn how part of the WORLD worked – I had big accounts poached from me by my actual BOSSES, and I saw the seedy, competitive, shrewd side of business and masculine energy at play…and I noted how many of these masculine energies were jealous of me because I had that similar masculine energy but I was wearing a skirt, or whatever. I had to learn while selling overnight shipping, exactly how to gage the intonation of a voice over the phone and what that meant when I had only 15 seconds to pitch a top executive (C-Suites only! company rule!) and get them to meet with me face-to-face. I had to understand why the ONLY person to EVER approach for anything in life, is the end decision maker. because no one else CARES. no one. all of these things that I learned, developed my understanding of people in the real world, not the “psychic” world. and I needed, very much, the tangible and intangible understandings that resided in my heart and mind to blend so that I could successfully understand and help other people. helping people has forever been my goal – desire – purpose.

the thing is, though, I doubted myself at times. I worried that maybe I WAS what I heard other people say to me, about me; maybe I was scattered, maybe I was lost, and maybe I was (gasp)…non-committal. but, I knew better deep inside and I would keep going anyhow. yet the doubt hurt and it slowed me down longer than I wish I had been slowed down. this article is in large part about that — the doubt that comes in, when you are just being who you are. and the thing is, it is healthy to doubt because we can re-assess where we are and how to do it better. but, it’s not necessary to linger for longer than that healthy purpose. and people who live in fear, who are afraid to pursue their dreams, will make you doubt yourself. you can’t listen. and, it can be hard to know what is doubt and what is reality

the way to know the difference between doubt and reality is one way and I said it earlier: check your ego. who are you doing things for, and why? who are you appeasing? who are you trying to fit in for? if you can answer those questions, AND still go your own way, you can temporarily kill your ego and keep it in check. doubt is healthy and it washes over us as a feeling. reality — that we are actually doing something wrong — is when we are doing something strictly for outside praise, OR when we really DON’T feel like committing to anything and so we change jobs or interests at the drop of a hat in order to avoid ourselves. again, the key ingredient to know the difference is your ego death. if you are willing to go through the range of feelings that accompany an ego death and face them head on, it is likely that you are just in doubt. if you are not willing to go through the above, then there may be a reality to your doubt that has to do with your unconscious mind and patterns and not a healthy ego death. THAT notion is an entirely different article, BUT, if you are self-aware you can switch gears and then it is all the same anyhow…you are working toward everything that you were designed to be, once you surrender.

when I jumped away from corporate, I really had a death. I felt like a loser. I felt like I pissed away a 5-star education and my degrees. this is in part because I was “listening” to society by observing those around me. the people who just did their jobs, met their spouses at a happy hour, and moved to NJ to have kids. now, if I’m being really honest with myself, I WISH I could have that life. it would be so much more level (stable?) than the one my soul chose. there have been many, many times I have asked God to please let me just live a normal life. but I know what I’m made of – and I can’t change how I am made. and so I watched many of my friends go the conventional path while I wondered if there was something wrong with me, and if I was royally messing up my life. and, simultaneously to all of that concern I had, ironically and paradoxically, I ALSO DID NOT CARE. because I could hear my soul. not caring does not take away doubt and worry, though. and, as I say over and over again, there is never EVER any “better” path for any one person. if your destiny is to have an amazing family and work at the DMW your entire life then THAT IS A LIFE AND A DESTINY and a VALUABLE ONE – because the only part of living that ever matters is our ALIGNMENT (when thoughts = feelings = words = actions!). but aligned people know that. I know folks who work very “menial” jobs and they are SO HAPPY. because they are in alignment, and they get it that there is no such thing as “more important purpose” as it relates to one person or the next and their “outer world success”. all things are relative, and the only important thing is whether we are aligned or not. truly.

so in the above example, jumping from corporate, I felt like I was in no-man’s land probably for about a month. looking back, that is a REALLY brief time as compared to other jumps and subsequent dark periods I had, when honoring my path. and, like the other times during which I “jumped”, I wondered and worried if anything I had done in the past would relate to my future or if it was all just a waste. well: nothing was a waste.

in between film and tv jobs I worked MANY other jobs. and during that period of my life, the tv and film days, I also mistakenly thought “ok, this is it, this is my identity, I must focus ONLY on this now”…which was so not true. because we are never our job or our outer-world identity. and like all of the other times when I was either “forced” to jump, or my reality was ripped away from me, so then was my focused period of time on tv and film. and this is because I “HAD” to publicly set up Healing Elaine® and see that to fruition and “completion”. again, I felt scared, that one thing had entirely nothing to do with the next, and my now-4 careers absolutely would not blend. it is also important to note, that again, that feeling was just my ego. or I never would have kept facing it then jumping. and so I moved through that awful feeling of giving birth to myself (again) and dealt with the same push-back I always had from others who told me “I thought you were an actress, though?”. sure, I was an actress. I was also a hamburger-flipper. and a waitress. and an account executive. and…a person. I just chose to surrender to all that I was inside, because THAT was my calling. again, I didn’t consciously want to be made “this” way. but we are how and who we are, and it is all for a REASON…and it doesn’t matter what the path “looks” like. I then realized that YES OF COURSE, my career in corporate AND my career in tv and film in front of and behind the camera OBVIOUSLY line up with everything I did with Healing Elaine®! because without HE™, I would have no message. and without a message, all of my work with corporate and tv and film would mean…nothing to me as far as my bigger purpose was concerned.

I’ve mentioned that The Alchemist is my favorite book. it’s a lot of people’s favorite book, probably. and it is a genius book that I read in 2005 and again this year (and wrote a little instagram post about) — at which point it took on an entirely new meaning. and the point of the book is similar to the long-winded point I am making here: everything that you desire, from the perspective of integrity and ego death and learning, is preparing you for what you will become/already are. who you are is timeless, and it doesn’t matter WHAT that looks like on the surface. we never know God’s exact strategy in a timeline form, and it is not up to us to decipher. exerting that kind of control and demand onto the Universe is not the best way to go, and that is why so many people suffer. I’ve suffered in this way, during my transitions between one “career” and the next. and when I look back on EVERYTHING that I have done, it is ALL CONNECTED. had I listened to what anyone else had to say about my path, I wouldn’t be here. I would be stuck. and so it was worth all of the horrible feelings I had to contend with during my “leaps”. during the times that close friends, best friends, even, shamed me for my choices because they didn’t understand. the times that no one would support me or lend a hand because they said I was “irresponsible”. all of the horrible parts of my transitions were worth it. and so are yours…

you may be thinking “Elaine, I’ve been at the same job for 20 years, I can’t relate to anything you are saying”…well, sure you can. think about the last 20 years. time is IRRELEVANT here. what IS relevant, is where it has lead you. it has lead you somewhere. perhaps that somewhere is a conclusion. perhaps it is the understanding that you are very content and therefore exactly where your soul wants you to be. and if you are not happy, it has lead you to understanding that, so that you may LEAP and ONLY THEN understand the last 20 years of your life! it is really all simple, and perfect. and the point is, you can’t get it wrong!

make an outline of your life. all of the choices, jobs, and relationships. write them down. connect the earlier parts to the present tense parts, and then imagine that all of that is leading to something that you can not yet see, because you didn’t yet leap in some way (unconsciously). leaping does not have to mean leaving a job or making a tangible change. leaping can simply be a state of mind, a willingness to admit ego defeat, or something else within the confines of your mind. that leap, which is a surrender and realization, maps out your next steps. how magnificent is that? and if you are honest with yourself, you will understand it all. if you are not honest with yourself, you will remain confused. honesty or lack thereof produces karma. there is no way around that. and in either case, we are exactly where we are destined to be. let go of guilt.

I think of the deep, isolating feelings of personal death around my “identity” and how long some of those periods lasted. I wrote an article about these periods here — it’s long and worth a read. if you are confused about what “it” is, that is your long-winded transition, I also wrote about destiny and stagnation here. I imagine that all of us have (these) periods, during which we self-question. and what I want to share and convey is the fact that you can’t get “it” wrong. stop comparing your life to anyone else’s. NONE OF IT MATTERS. you probably would NEVER trade the relative facts anyhow, to be in “someone else’s shoes”! understanding that there is no external choice you can make that will alter your reality is important – it always has to be contended with on the inner level, and thoroughly, first, to count. if you are in your 20s and you wonder “what you are doing”, know that if you honor yourself, it remains to be seen. if you are in your 60s and you wonder “what have I done”, know that if you honor yourself now, it remains to be revealed and you will have peace. you can’t make a wrong decision in life, no matter what your life has looked life. yesterday already happened, and tomorrow doesn’t exist. really think about that concept.

find a way to work with both your inner and outer realities, and find common ground between the two. everything that you are doing (outer) and going through (inner) now is preparing you for where you want to be, whether you are 20 or 80.

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being a martyr will kill you

©Healing Elaine®, photo by Anita Saini

many years ago I went to a Shaman. it was before I fully launched Healing Elaine®, and it was around the time that I was hopping from “guru” to “guru”, or “seer” to “seer”. some of them were fantastic and still are — the people who have their feet planted firmly on the ground. examples that come to mind: Caroline Myss. others, such as the example I am going to share, were/are wonderful people, except for one thing…they suffered from martyr complex and it killed them in one way or another.

the night after I met with the Shaman, way uptown in Manhattan, I had a really religious experience. this person, during our session that day, had blown my life force or soul’s essence back into a very specific area on my heart through a crystal of sorts. this person worked a lot with animal spirit energy and their animals were present and soothing during the session. the session itself, much like what my actual sessions ARE, was called a “soul retrieval”. the idea was, that this person could assist me in returning some of the pieces of my soul, to my actual body. now, I believe in this stuff. my therapist would call it one thing. I would call it another. and a corporate person on wall street would call it something else. a priest would call it something else. but it’s all the same thing. it’s all physics, and it contains intention. after the session with the Shaman I awoke in the middle of the night with a piercing, stabbing, and unforgettable sharp shooting pain in my heart – RIGHT at the spot that they blew the essence back into my body. as a constant skeptic (I really have to see things to believe them myself – despite and perhaps negating my image because of what I do for work), I expected from the session at worst to feel nothing and at best to feel comforted by the Shaman. but as with a few other fortunate experiences I had in the spiritual domain up until that point, I got more than comfort. the pain, though sharp and blatant, was cathartic. half asleep and half awake, I knew what this pain was. it was more than a physical feeling. my body and my mind were relaxed enough to receive what I was intended to receive: MYSELF. I never forgot that Shaman.

many years later, my practice was super successful. the Shaman heard about it. and they called me for help. I thought, how oddly and how quickly life can change. this person, who I was once bewildered by and had revered, now needed my assistance. I told them sure, come through, for free. I didn’t feel right charging them since they were outside the scope of my protocol and how I usually worked — knowing nothing about a person in advance, which was and is my protocol. so the Shaman came through. and before they did, I got what I always receive before sessions: a lot of info. physically. emotionally, psychologically. it knocked me over. I was so so so sick before they arrived. I do not know how I made it through that session. and during it, I had one MAJOR piece of advice for this Shaman: take back your stuff. take back what was stolen from you by your blood line, by the people who you trusted the most. simply take it BACK. nothing more, nothing less. and since energy can neither be created nor destroyed, I did not find this to be such an outrageous suggestion. in fact, within me, it was much more than a suggestion. it was a mandate. this person had been stolen from in ways that I was unfortunately familiar with. their entire life was eroding — physically. they were physically ill. and they had just come to me on a near-clinical diagnosis. I knew in SECONDS, that I could help this person. and I also knew that if they did not follow my advice, they would die very soon. they didn’t follow my advice.

I didn’t hear about their passing right away when it happened, but I knew right then and there in that session that they were going to get very sick, very fast, and die. the reason is, they had a really intense martyr complex. they followed some scripture, I’m not sure but I think it was Christian (not that it matters – and by the way, I grew up in Bible school…Bible camp in summers…church choir…Christmas pageants…Sunday services…Confirmation…you get the idea; so I am not poo-pooing it at all), and they trusted the scripture more than hearing the voice of their own soul. and it didn’t matter what I said. in fact, when I said what I did, that they needed to reclaim themselves in xyz way and SEND “IT” BACK, they became visibly uncomfortable and angry. I was taken aback, but also overcome with deep knowing. knowing of what was to come, and knowing that I was in a place of seeing that I never anticipated. for it was all so clear to me. I think I filed that encounter into my unconscious mind in order to move forward and keep working without feeling responsible for what I knew to be imminent.

a month or two after the session that the Shaman came to see ME for, I started to receive go fund me requests from their email address. during our session they were not in any medical diagnosis — though I saw it coming — but within a month or two their illness was full blown and categorized. this was their fear (and reason for) when coming to see me — that they would get sick. and I knew what would stop it: they had to learn, even at their older age, when it is not appropriate for the soul to be a martyr. they didn’t want to learn. why? because it forced them to look at things differently. it required a MASSIVE ego death. their mind was comfortable with their “role” — the good person, the self-sacrificer, the VICTIM. now, there was nothing outwardly “victim” about this person. in fact I found them to be quite strong, and appear so. they did a ton of community work to uplift marginalized communities and individuals. but their ways of being was pure victim. and I see it constantly. people get sick sometimes because it’s easier. plain and simple. some people develop entire personalities around illness because it controls other people. obviously that was not this case. but the point is, that it was easier for this person to become sick and die than it was to change. their role in life was too important to them. and so it goes for many of us.

I see a fundamental difference in my practice between those who send back the shit that was dealt to them — hence reclaiming themselves (nothing more, and nothing less) –, and those who refuse because it’s HARD. I had a patient a long time ago who was with an unfaithful partner. I knew it and they knew it. but they wouldn’t confront it, and it was the type of infidelity that really bothered them. but not enough to see as truth. so they got sick instead. and they wanted my help, even though they would not listen to me. people don’t listen, because it’s hard on the mind. it’s hard to change our thought patterns. take all of the ayahuasca you want, it’s not going to change your core processing. that is something that can only be earned by true sober efforts. and a martyr complex is one for the BOOKS. and, I can relate. I’m just not willing (and never have been willing) to sell out and ruin my life over it (particularly since that’s already been done). I am quite happy to take my stuff back. from ANYONE.

when we don’t listen to our soul, and when we live for others, it’s because we are lazy. we are not righteous, “better”, or kinder. in fact, we are weak and selfish in this way. we would like to think of ourselves as better, because it is more convenient for the mind that way. but really, it’s an excuse. if we live an entire lifetime in a martyr role, and then we wake up at 40 or 50 and we are told to change it, many of us would rather throw in the towel than do the work that it requires to become a different person — the person we were designed to be. and so the Universe, the Gods, the whomever will create the contrast necessary for us to understand what we have done. how we have gone against ourselves, yet again. because now it isn’t just living to “benefit” others by being “the better person”…it is living against ourselves because it is too hard to be sovereign. and THAT, my friends, is a sin.

moral teachings, religious scripture and the like, is all open for interpretation. just like anything else in this world. and it is up to us HOW we interpret that information. we can use it to assist us in a good way, or we can use it to assist us in a bad way and call it something else in order to lie to ourselves about who we really are and what we are willing to believe about who we are. and every time I think of the Shaman, or anyone else I have met who is willing to forego the needs and calling of their very own soul because it is easier to accommodate the nefarious wishes of another, I am reminded of how martyrdom kills. what brings life, rather, is our ability to see truth. and THAT…is a seemingly (to me) and hopefully emerging reality for our planet at this time. one that I can’t wait for much longer.

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Sharon’s video testimonial for Healing Elaine®

I am so grateful to get to work with people of such inner-caliber. working with Sharon was a treasure, and I really appreciate her video testimonial. I haven’t posted every Healing Elaine® video out there to my blog, so feel free to visit my YouTube channel and subscribe for updates there. in addition, the subscription box for my blog is back on the home page of this here website, if you would like to subscribe to blog updates.

every session or otherwise Healing Elaine® related experience is different (including my TEM® and PE™ offerings), and everyone processes them differently, but the bottom line is resounding gut level connectivity – for both/all parties. I believe that there is someone for everyone. so, even if you never see me, perhaps some of my videos will open you to the thought that you have someone out there who you can and will connect to and who will perhaps open a window in your mind’s eye. we never walk this journey alone, even if the other people walking alongside us we will never meet; we are still walking beside many people who think and feel as we do. and it may help to know just that as you go about your day/week/life.

FRIENDLY DISCLAIMER: Healing Elaine® / Elaine is a Reiki Practitioner and Ordained Minister, but is not a physician, dietitian, nutritionist, or psychotherapist. Her advice, workshops, written content, and healing sessions are considered supplementary in nature and should not be a replacement for conventional medicine or psychiatric care. Please consult your physician or other licensed healthcare professional for any physical or psychological ailments you may be suffering or think you may have. By attending any seminar, class or session provided by Healing Elaine® / Elaine, you acknowledge that in no event will (Healing Elaine® / Elaine) be liable in any way directly or indirectly for damages resulting from information, data, classes or healing sessions provided or for the loss of profits through the use or misuse of said information and data, either via its use, negligence or other actions.

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when joy re-enters

photo by Anita Saini

I touched on the broad strokes of this concept in my recent instagram post.

many of us have been working toward “joy” which, as a concept in and of itself, one (or the “average” person) would consider a natural and spontaneous experience. and it should be. yet when we are blocked or rather when we commit to ways of thinking (out of survival, but then really out of pure CHOICE), we obstruct that flow called “joy”. also, to be clear, I do not believe that “joy” means the same thing to everyone. I have met and experienced either very ill or simply dark-energied people who, upon first glance, one might consider joyless and feel badly for them…but upon second and third glance I’ve realized that “joy” for some folks is literally pain – they actually can’t get enough of it. the notion that we are all energetically equal is our greatest misstep. the idea that everyone thinks like us precedes this often grave misstep.

back to the point of this post. I can look at my life or the life of anyone I’ve worked with and see the various categories of turbulence — emotional, psychological and spiritual (often HENCE, physical) — that are being worked through and I picture the following: a few main arteries of core/spore contrast (aka trauma — and yes, we all have it), with hundreds of veins extending around each main artery. the veins represent what I call “follow up” experiences, that appear to reinforce the main artery or initial core trauma experience/s. because we are made like tracking devices, and one solid trauma in the shape of this artery is planted upon impact, I would say that every single experience post-artery formation is simply a butterfly effect of that initial experience. this means that each time we experience the same, we have the choice to either affirm or deny the cellular history that flows through our bloodstream at a rapid pace BACK to this main artery to “inform” us as to what this new experience means. it is in this part of the communication, from veins to artery, that we have a choice to either “risk” rewiring the information, or to ENFORCE the placement of that artery that flushes the blood that matches all of our followup experiences. so when we feel like we “can’t change” or like things “keep happening TO us”, we are actually battling DNA coding. this is why it can feel like we are getting nowhere after 5, 10, 20 and more years of working on a core issue (artery).

what I saw this past weekend with others and as I do in my own personal life experience, was the actual tipping point in which all of the veins (the subsequent experiences that match an original trauma, or artery as I refer to here) began to re-inform that main artery, giving it a chance to unblock it’s actual point of origin and messaging — so that it can allow for joy, which in my mind is simply the unobstruction of trauma. by the way, when I use the word trauma, I am using it in a VERY vast context. the thing is, so many of us are walking around traumatized aka UNCONSCIOUS and do not even know it. and so we do not dare refer to “it”, our lack of joy, as trauma. we blame everything else, or everyone else, instead. except when we have been consciously working and working and working on ourselves for an extended period of time…

and this is the place that I find most people. there is a solid reason that I list pre requisite reading. most folks I see have been addressing themselves and inner worlds for a long time. perhaps they have sought the best that the psych world has to offer — and when the right person is discovered, there can be little to nothing quite as effective and healing as psychotherapy (which we ALL need — don’t argue me! if you think you don’t need it, you probably REALLY need it. but, the right kind…which can take some effort to come upon). perhaps they have done every new-agey “trick” or perceived “short-cut” (p.s. there are NONE) out there like drugs or plants. either way, the cataclysmic shifts that take place within us usually come upon the heels of long-term effort. I see therapists, I receive recommendations from therapists, and there is a reason: all of that attempted reprogramming of the veins I mention in this post is waiting to line up with a most-needed conversation and time-travel — back to that artery…in a way that “clicks”…in a way that finally gives us the courage to risk letting go of and shifting the very first piece of information we ever received (trauma).

of course this is another metaphor I am painting to describe ego death. but there are so many ways to address the notion of an ego death. it is not one-dimensional, and there are many ways to experience approaching such an experience. it’s infinite actually. and it fascinates me. we die a million deaths before we actually physically die. it never stops. unless we decide to stop growing…and in that space we consciously choose to obstruct our joy.

growing requires embracing fear. deep fear. this fear feels like a complete threat to the body. as we approach this fear, that initial artery strengthens itself and pumps more blood than ever to keep us “alive” and safe from that first experience — it screams its bloody algorithm of fear and “information” as it trickles itself into the veins that seem to resemble it so clearly. people, places and things — everything that has happened over the past X many years — look EXACTLY like that main artery of issue…only, they are not. they may be similar in some ways or many ways, but they are just metaphors to collect enough data and information to finally rewire the artery to unobstruct joy.

the biggest social issue that we face right now is the repeated algorithm of our traumas. I do believe that most every one of us (minus those who relish in illness and negativity and really do enjoy it — yes, this is a thing, call it sociopathy or narcissism or whatever you deem fit) intends to move beyond our main arteries of trauma. this is why it is easy for me to have compassion for so many different people, with so many different backgrounds, beliefs and experiences. at our core, we all actually want the same things. it’s our individual main arteries that keep us in our little boxes. all you have to do is go on twitter to see all of the grown-ass adults in their sandboxes spewing plenty of vein-to-main-artery rhetoric that divides us not from others, but from ourselves first. because it’s easier that way. short-term…

my greatest personal challenge has been exactly what I am writing about here: reinforming the main artery through a series of bloody vein communications that seem to only serve that core trauma and make continued agreements with it. and the further we go, the more we die, the more conscious we become, the harder the tests…we may, in fact, “attract” the same trauma, over and over and over again. this is not to say that it does not exist. what I am saying is that beyond that INITIAL trauma or artery, we are ACTUALLY given free will to ALTER the wiring of the original artery and its algorithm. this can take years. lifetimes. hence the difficulty we all seem to face in terms of allowing joy to flow, or even enter our sphere…

in addition to stating in logical terms the above difficulty, I will illustrate a bit of it in terms of the tipping point that I point to in this post. as we get “closer” to reprogramming ourselves beyond trauma, we will be served with nearly “identical” subsequent traumas to test us (see also my post on the butterfly effect of abuse). the Universe will send us a person who looks, feels, smells or in some other capacity reminds us EXACTLY of that initial trauma. we may SWEAR it is the same thing. and, frankly, IT MAY BE…but here is my point…at this level in the game, we are able to make (risk) a new decision about what that person or experience represents to us. this simply requires “allowing” the perceived worst case scenario to happen to us. for example. if I have a history of experiencing an abusive boss or superior in the workplace, and I have been to therapy or doing some sort of self-help work around the issue at hand and possibly WHY I continue to experience this, right on the heels of great change I may attract seemingly the worst offender I could imagine in the form of a boss. it will then be in that moment that I get to choose and talk through the issue: “ok, this person has the hallmarks of xyz. my body is having a reaction to them. they look like person X. their behavior is like that of person X. but…here are some slight differences…is there any negotiation in my mind that will allow me to DIS-empower this person as my initial offender? is there any room for movement at all?…ok well I can see that I’ve moved the dial very far in my own personal work on person X already…maybe I can use that ‘work’ I have done to build my confidence to take a risk around this subsequent vein of a person who appears exactly like that main artery…ok I choose to empower the beast of that spore hence this vein less than yesterday…”. when we reach the tipping point of a transitional belief that has been ingrained in our body and mind and spirit, we will notice just the slightest room for negotiation in our mind about who the shadow of person X and person X themselves each are. in my experience, NOTHING and NO ONE will ever have as much power as that initial artery, or person X, or our original trauma. even if the butterfly effect and those actual vein experiences are fundamentally worse on a logistical or logical level…let that sink in.

the honor I have of working with extremely complex and layered experiences of others is like none other — when we can take years, emotional and spiritual data, psychological algorithms, and the recognition of TRUTH in all forms and combine this in a way that compliments someone’s tipping point of change…well, I don’t even have enough words to describe what it feels like to witness someone’s shift. in that moment, and it may be soon, or it may be later, what they have done and what we have done is reprogram that main artery. even if it is one artery of many that need to be reprogrammed in order to experience or unobstruct joy, it is an entire artery of truth and LIFE FORCE. we look different after we can allow this joy in, as in its purest form, it is life force. when we are in flow, there is no drug, no nutrition, no workout, no relationship, no tactile thing that can come close to radiating the power of such a revelation. joy is the absence of an obstructed artery.

we are not the way the world or others perceive us. but it takes time to even understand what experiences we are WEARING that color the lens through which others see us, hence the way we ACTUALLY SEE OURSELVES without realizing it. of all these arteries and veins of experiences or obstructions, there may be timelines for each that are specific and individual in nature. one obstruction may last 20 years, whilst another may last a lifetime. others may be shorter in duration and significance. this is often why, when unobstructed, we feel a joy that surpasses what we are able to imagine. this is what we did last weekend.

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where we are at right now (energetically), individually and collectively

photo by Jennifer Santaniello

the old door has closed. the new door hasn’t opened. this has a lot of us feeling very WTF!!! (probably an understatement).

being caught, metaphorically (but it can feel literal), between two doors is some super uncomfortable shit. we try to go back to our old ways, our old beliefs, our old fears, our old life…and life just isn’t having it for us.

not everyone will make it through. it all depends upon how much we are willing to surrender to things that we are not certain about, in order to change ourselves to accommodate the new earth energy that has come through to support us and our consciousness. by the way, consciousness extends to EVERYTHING in our life – our relationships, our physical reality, and the thoughts and feelings that produce those things.

so, what is it that we are not certain about? we are not certain that our “new” (what lies behind the new door) thoughts and feelings will support us. because how would we know that they will, beyond blind faith?

it’s funny how we trust the unseen in many ways — like via technology. we turn on a light or a phone and communicate that way. but when it comes to our own computer, our own body and mind, we question the nature of our spirit as it relates to the “future” because we don’t have a tangible item to hold to control. and this is all about control…

when we truly release control, we feel as though we are dying. because in a sense, we are. but back to that feeling — like we are dying. it’s a real feeling when we are no longer allowed to access our old ways of being. and so we sit in limbo. we will sit in between the two doors — because both can NOT be opened at the same time — and we suffer. we rage. we complain. we repeat the same patterns. and they don’t work. we use force, “magic potions” and all kinds of bullshit to try and cheat the universe…and yet they either do not work at all or they severely backfire. and then we sit. again. alone in the room. either with all of the money in the world, or none of the money in the world, sweating and stressing over bills and basic logistics, and it is ALL the same. we are still stuck between two doors, and nothing material can change the state.

everyone’s time between these two very LOUD and present doors is different. collectively, it’s probably a 6-month to 1-year hold as far as I see it. individually, it can shadow or teeter on one side or the other of that time period. but it is not a mistake that “everyone” feels like shit is hitting the fan at the same time. we are all being asked to be different. there is no hierarchy in spiritual growth. no one escapes it. all things are relative. no gurus can escape it. no non-believers can escape it. what we do with it is irrelevant to the fact that it will sit there until we allow….”it” is the boiling hot or freezing cold temperature between the two doors, and “allow” is what we decide to stop grabbing for in order to feel cooler or warmer.

if you haven’t figured it out by now, we are all connected. everything that we do to another we only really do to our own self. some of us will never figure that piece out, and that’s fine. it’s called contrast and we need it in order to expand. there is nothing in my life that I have built that did not come from extreme pain aka contrast. that said, yes we are all connected, and no we are not all energetically or consciously equal. this part is the part that separates us from certain group-think, friendships or relationships that we have had our entire lives, jobs, and so on. we are a mosaic and all shifting in equal but RELATIVE terms. there is no one who has it easier than the next. and the next time you go to “wish” you were xyz person, think again — because you just might get the challenges that accompany them on their “lucky” journey and then you might actually have a HUGE problem because it’s not what you bargained for. we don’t see what is actually there, rather we only see what we are “not”, relative to our own potential.

it’s been a really painful time for so many people lately. and it’s because we are collectively stuck in between two doors. some of us are still trying to open the old one, and some of us have our hand on the new one, accepting that the old one will never again open. this year, I went through a real death of self when I tossed my work space out the window. it was a space that I built more than half a decade ago, and many healings took place there. experiences that I will never forget. I had identified, like we all do, with what I was doing — constant healings. around the clock. even if I worked with just one person a week or one person a month, they were with me for many months. I was in contact with them for countless hours, both in person and virtually. I was accustomed to what I WAS…which was a routine, an identity, a duty, a life. I do tend to live in the moment, and so “easing” into my next steps (= dreams and purpose) wasn’t really on my radar. well, that’s not the way that the universe likes to do things for me anyhow. the universe likes to put me in really impossible situations (why I love working with mystery illness issues and fertility issues! I love the thrill of possibly solving them!) to see how I will climb out of them. and the thing that I do know about myself, is that I always use integrity. and it is integrity alone that “gets me out” of my old or outgrown worlds. for more on that part (thoughts on integrity), read my earlier posts. when I realized that I was being cut off from scaling my work and my business because it was not sustainable to my energy, it was the end of 2017. and it just kept changing toward what I have always wanted, but wasn’t sure how to “get” to. what I wanted is written throughout this entire blog. but in order to “get” there, the universe had to murder my identity. this meant taking fewer sessions. seeing fewer people. dragging me away, in a certain format, from what I “love”. so that I could open a new door(s).

losing this perceived identity was hard. you might be thinking “what are you talking about, you are still a healer…”…well I am talking about the daily minutia. because THIS is where the real change occurs. I’m not talking about the kind of identity change or life change that happens overnight. it’s the daily everything that is coated with everything behind the old door. we can not possibly outsmart the process between the two doors, or “plan” for it. this is why most people sit at a 9-5 and fantasize about what it might be like to have fame or money or work for themselves…it (the ability to change, to have something different) is all in the minutia. and the minutia is addictive.

I’m not sure exactly when this next “door” is done opening for everyone (and the door is certainly relative to someone’s life path and how they have used their free will — feel free to read my eBooklet on the physics of karma), but we are in a collective motion. which means we are each grappling with what it all means, regardless of where we are headed. I feel that the next year is going to produce seemingly “overnight” positive changes and success for those who have been working toward goals for many years. as always, nothing sustainable is built overnight (so don’t get me started on social media – those who don’t understand sustainability are in for a shock over this next period of time). and so all that has been worked for behind the scenes, mostly in the inner world of an individual, for what possibly feels like an eternity for many people, is the next door. I know what my door feels like. I’ve had my hand on it for about a year now. and I know that what lies behind it is magic. this comes in the face of some of the most exaggerated contrast you might imagine would oppose magic. but hey, there’s my relativity. do you want it? probably not.

if you are trapped between your two doors, and you have taken your hand off of the old one, just sit there. in the hot, or in the cold, or whatever miserable temperatures have been handed to you as conditions for what you are internally acquiring for your next steps which are behind the new door. just sit there. when the internal and external aspects of your life have been ripened with different temperatures, you will, simply by the very nature of being a live being, put your hand on the new door. if you don’t have all of the answers or maybe you don’t even resonate with this post at all, know that you have two fundamental choices: enter an old world (impossible), or brave the storm that precedes the new world (door).


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if you have recently and repeatedly been hurt, disappointed or betrayed, I have good news for you

photo by Jennifer Santaniello; logo by Shamona Stokes

if you have recently and repeatedly been hurt, disappointed or betrayed, I have good news for you.

in a nutshell: you are going places, and you are being reminded LOUDLY of exactly who, what and where is NOT supposed to come with you.

if you are anything like me, you love to share. you love to uplift. you love to give props to others for no reason or personal gain. you just have a lot to give. and although this is a wonderful quality, as I mention in my last post, there is something MAJOR that must be incorporated into this quality and way of living and that is called: discernment. without this, we simply can not and will not succeed.

over and over and over again, I have had my mind blown by people and situations that I had the best of hopes for. who I only had hope for. who I saw only the good in. and over and over and over again, after I have gotten over the initial disappointment in learning that no, not everyone has something to GIVE (therefore they take — but really, actually end up with nothing in the end), I have seen WHY the hurt, disappointment or betrayal occurred…and this has ALWAYS – without a doubt – been PROTECTION

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this full moon today. plus, Venus retrograde, multiple dark nights of the soul, and general HE® updates


photo by Nadia Itani

as I type this post, Don Henley’s “In A New York Minute” has just come on. if you don’t already know, I tend to channel-write whilst listening to particular hit decade channels on spotify. and if you don’t know this song, read the lyrics. it sums up a lot, much pertaining to this post.

as I look back on my life, and as I’ve elaborated on in my eBooklet1, I have had a series of dark nights of the soul. the majority of my early years on this planet were a dark night no doubt. like one, long, and grey memory, it was marked with my wailing for God to please rescue me. I know that sounds depressing. and it was. much of my life I spent trapped in all ways – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. as I hid in tight places in the home I grew up in, or in the basement of the church I went to, I would pray to disappear. I would hold my breath so much that I would get dizzy. though I was never suicidal, I would have done ANYTHING to escape my reality. I wasn’t designed to be mentally ill, for better or for worse, so I did not become schizophrenic or dissociative. I believe 100% that this was so I could do the work I am doing now, in a particular way.

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my first experience/the first time I consciously felt kundalini energy

photo by Jennifer Santaniello

once upon a time, I was immediately post-college and post massive awakening — huge ego death, my life had crumbled around me in every way possible, and I truly entered my first CONSCIOUS dark night of the soul (you can read about it here in my eBooklet 1). I had moved back to the Northeast where I was raised, and I was trying to stabilize my life — i.e. get a good/boring job, find a place to live and pay my rent, and daydream about my next steps.

before I had moved back to the Northeast, and during my period of substantial change and chaos, I often ventured out on the town (alone). I loved being alone! (still do). I never knew what the night might hold in terms of who I would meet, or what energy I would feel in xyz space. I would turn on music, pre-party alone, and head out in one of my wild outfits (during this time I also wore a lot of fake hair — a LOT of it) that made me feel like a character in a marvel movie. one night I went to this particular spot that was the spot of the moment. it was always filled with well-known actors, musicians and athletes, and I loved peering in on their world. I didn’t want to be part of it (because I knew what it entailed and either it wasn’t for me, or it wasn’t my “time”), but I did like being around it. I liked being invited places with those people because I found them super interesting and my energy felt safe with other “weirdos” who had somehow “made it”. at this one spot as I refer to above, a man approached me. usually I kept to myself, danced alone in a corner, and just enjoyed observing. on this particular night, I spoke with this very well-mannered, well-dressed man. actually, he was too well-dressed. I almost felt like a peasant around him, lol. he also smelled VERY good. to this day I do not know what flavor of cologne he sported. everything about him was special, worldly, and…intense. he was a laid back guy, had traveled the world, owned hotels in various spots, C-suited/worked in like 3 different industries which were totally unrelated, and rubbed elbows with really incredible people. I kept wanting to understand how he got to where he was, as he was the truest unicorn I had ever met. he was older than me, maybe 15-20 years. I was about 23 or so at the time. while I found him attractive and all of the above, I was not attracted to him. I also found him to be old, lol. in my early 20s I thought that 30+ was dinosaur territory, and I also thought that there was something possibly wrong with anyone who was single over 30. again, lol. anyhow, my new friend made it clear that he had traveled the world and never met an energy like mine before. he was interested. and so at the time, and perhaps for years after that, I just thought that compliment about my energy and being was a come-on. but his words/compliment would resonate super loudly later on…

after a series of explosive bombs and warfare ignited in my internal and external worlds, a couple of years had passed and we were still in touch. he had a to-die-for apartment spanning the penthouse of a wall street building, and he invited me for a night out on the town. I had always felt safe with him despite his interest in me, because he never once made me feel uncomfortable. he took care of me like an older brother would. I did not realize, at the time, how potentially rare it was for a grown man to spend time with a female he was interested in, and ask nothing of her other than platonic friendship. at any rate, we went out for my first night on the NYC town in years. we went to all of the “see and be seen” spots, and back then before social media destroyed the social night life, this was a really great scene. it attracted energy based on actual attraction, not promotion. there was a vibe, in certain places, that can’t be artificially created. as we ordered our first drinks — vodka cranberry — we took a sip and went to the dance floor. within moments he began talking to someone and I began to feel something I’d never felt before. my entire body began to flood with light. I don’t know how else to describe it. I had never taken a party drug before, and certainly never encountered anything that had made me feel that good, and the only thing I could compare this feeling to was being on a ton of pain killers post surgery. but it was beyond even that. as I stood with my drink, feeling this pure ecstasy, I immediately got nervous that I had been slipped a drug. which was nearly impossible. my friend was a health nut, didn’t believe in drugs, and woke up every day at 5am to do yoga at sunrise. I put my drink down and kept feeling my body. I felt so good that I was afraid. it contradicted almost everything I had ever felt in my life, up until that point. I looked around the room again for anyone who might have been the culprit of this intense high I was feeling out of nowhere. I could not pinpoint it, and I almost wanted it to stop because I had no control over knowing the source or the reason for this feeling. at some point the feeling passed, I mentioned it to my friend, and we went back to his incredible penthouse. he let me know that he doesn’t invite people over, not even close friends, because he didn’t want their “energy” in his space. again, I thought he was just trying to compliment me. I went to sleep in his guest room, and I recall feeling just very good and safe. I woke up at 530am to use the bathroom and I saw him doing yoga through his bedroom door. then I went home and forgot all about the experience I had that night.

a couple of years later, I was still forging my path of difficulty and working many different jobs. my interests were so varied and I was concerned that I would never amount to anything on paper because I was pulled in so many different directions. after working in finance and corporate trade and barter, and then advertising, I jumped ship to be my own boss. one of my next “jobs” was photo-doubling on a TV show. I had some direction, but it was all foreign territory and most people around me didn’t understand what I was doing or why. one day on set, my body began to buzz again. loud. I immediately flashed back to the experience that I had with my older man friend that night, in the nightclub. I thought well, ok, definitely no one has slipped me any kind of mind or body altering substance, and I remember this feeling. as I sat on breaks on set that day, I began googling like a maniac. I came across kundalini rising. BAM. things started to make sense…I consciously understood what was brewing inside of me.

I looked back at the time that I met this special man. I recalled his overwhelming resonance with my energy field. I recalled being at my rock bottom in all ways in life, feeling like a complete mess, but recognizing that people still wanted to be around me….??? I thought about how during that phase of destruction, there was a new energy birthing inside of me. I couldn’t recognize it at the time, but others sure did…I realized that this first period of tremendous difficulty in my life was maybe somehow connected to this…kundalini thing I was reading about!? but what was it? I connected the first set of dots and realized that my chakras were experiencing a cleansing during the time that I met my friend. they continued, during my years of difficulty, to clear. and when we reconnected a couple of years later, I was able to “meet” the energy that he had recognized in me, but that I could not yet see in myself. I HAD to call him from the TV set that day…

my eyes began to well up as I understood the fact that he “saw” me. I realized that it was more than a physical or intellectual attraction to/from him. and I realized that the power of his being intimidated me, though I loved being around it. as I reached out to him that day on set, I told him “my entire body is buzzing — I think I am experiencing a kundalini awakening/rising, do you know what that is?” we had never spoken about kundalini or many such words that the average person doesn’t throw around in their vocabulary. he said to me “this is the energy that we have been sharing since the day that we met”. even writing this makes my eyes well up with tears. this was the first “real” connection that I had with another human being, and I was so young. I had nothing to compare it to. he was there to prompt some of my own energy that no one else could prompt. this is real, by the way. we all have meridian lines that only certain people can help us ignite. we are equal in rights not in energy. know this!!!

looking back at this period of my life, I feel great affection for it. I had not realized at the time, how special this man was in my life. he also seemed “too good”, if that makes sense. I never thought I could measure up to his class, his achievements, his worldly knowing, etc. I would not say that I felt inadequate, but perhaps just rather in awe. and as I recall our encounters I shudder in the resonance that he “saw” me the whole time. even when I did not see myself. and if he had explained what that truly was at the time, I would not have understood it anyhow. he knew and understood things that I did not, during that time. and he let me be. because he didn’t see me, he saw…ME. my first experience with kundalini involved being seen. SEEN.

our processes are always met with the right people and the right energies, at the right time. someone may be assisting us in ways that we will not understand until much later in life. knowing how divinely ordered this seems to have been in my life brings me tremendous peace. even on my worst days. understanding the chaos as well as the bliss brings me tears of joy and gratitude.

kundalini energy is something that we share with a certain soul group. this is my belief, I have not read that belief anywhere else (yet). and again it is because we are each so different in our energetic make-up. sometimes we “stumble” upon one of its group members during a strange time in our life. I have concluded that it is usually during a chaotic time. and the person we will stumble upon will have already passed through the eye of the needle. and in doing so, when the two energies connect, the seasoned energy can hold space for the person who has no idea what is about to hit them/their life. it’s fucking beautiful.

 

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there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

there is no shortcut out of an ego death. there is no shortcut out of a dark night of the soul. there is no stopping a spiritual awakening. the only way out is through, so stop resisting.

before I begin to address the above subject(s), let me start by saying that it is important to me that no one confuse any actual mental illness or chemical imbalance with what I describe in this eBooklet. often times, particular “awakening” phases can mimic symptoms of true mental illness and it is important to know the difference. symptoms of a mystical/philosophical variety and actual mental illness can “look similar” and at the same time there are DISTINCTIVE differences. and, many people who are mentally ill or who do have a mental illness are characterized by denial – even and especially during full-blown symptoms. if you are having ANY experiences that affect your ability to function in the outside world for days at a time, i.e. sleep, eat, and socialize with others, and/or if you are hearing audible voices or feel paranoid, it is very important to consider a consultation with a good psychiatrist. you may just be in an awakening process, you may in fact have a chemical situation in your brain that needs support, or you may have BOTH happening at the same time! so, that is to say that NOT everything you are going through that could be considered “bizarre” or “unique” is in fact such; classic mystical and philosophical states have their own category outside of a mental health condition and you have to know how that may or may not apply to your overall condition. this is a very tricky territory for some people to navigate, especially since the “intangible” or “mystical” is typically faced with complete intolerance and indifference in the medical community, and my heart goes out to anyone in a position where they actually need treatment and medication. I cannot imagine the added difficulty it presents for them. sometimes a massive awakening presents as a one-time psychotic break that mimics an illness yet it is not an illness. many times, however, a psychotic break is the indicator of the onset of a life-long condition that needs attention.

one of my major goals in this life, especially during this time of awakening on our planet, is to provide support for distinguishing a spiritual awakening, ego death, and/or dark night of the soul from an actual mental health crisis. in doing so, the actual mental health crisis – whether separate or accompanying the processes I describe here – can perhaps be addressed in a more cutting-edge and more powerful/effective way by medical professionals. many of the medical professionals I know personally who work at a high level in the fields of psychiatry or psychology are actually sensitives/intuitives themselves, and they have been forbidden to go near esoteric subjects from the time they were studying at University. introducing the esoteric or intangible to the science and medical communities has proven extremely difficult in mainstream medicine and psychiatry. fortunately, there are brave souls and doctors how have put their reputations on the line and broken the mold. I am excited because more and more of these special individuals are coming forward to help bridge the gap. the stigma around mental illness and chemicals in the brain is still awful, and treatment measures could and will be a lot better than what they have been up until this point.

I also want to state that I, personally, have no history of mental illness. while I enjoy/ed reading scores of books on various conditions and discussing them with my friends who were/are mental health professionals, I never experienced what I know those who suffer from actual conditions experience. however if I was, you had better believe that I would be a major personal public advocate for mental health based on my own story. if you are suffering chemically, please have a look at amazing, inspirational people who have both accepted, addressed and overcome the challenges they have been presented with. here are two to start with, Miss Elyn Saks, and Miss Eleanor Longden.

there should be NO shame or fear around chemical matters of the brain, yet shame and fear seem to permeate so many beautiful and talented humans who do experience chemical imbalances in the brain. I will do my best, with my various sensitivities both emotionally and physiologically, Bridging the Gap Between Medical & Spiritual™

most of the people I see are in the middle of one of these three processes. depending on the person, the process will move “fast” or “slow” – and time is most certainly an illusion during these phases, so it might as well be irrelevant to discuss time. everyone wants to know “how long”? “how much longer do I have to go through this”? my answer is always the same: how much longer do you want to keep resisting?

until we surrender to the throes of something we don’t understand, haven’t experienced before and cannot control, we will remain in a painful state. which is the whole point of visiting that state in the first place! we were brought there to surrender. this is not something that humans typically do well. we are raised in a culture of control, and now more than ever a culture of instant satisfaction; instant knowing. instant controlling. this is not how the internal human experience is designed, though.

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spiritual awakening

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live and be your dream: Juliet Tang’s Video Testimonial for Healing Elaine® in New York City

lots of people I see subsequently quit their jobs. they come in, thinking that “the grind” is a necessary part of life and they will never get out of it. they have been brainwashed and programmed to believe so. I show them that that conditioning is BS. there is nothing “living” about being a programmed individual who sees nothing but burdened “responsibility” and a linear account of how their life “has to be”. if we are unhappy where we are in life, we are not trees — we can move. thinking outside of the box is difficult, because it sets us apart… and as humans, the only thing we fear more than death is being ALONE (i.e. outcasted, unaccepted, etc)… piss on that fear.

This shining light, Juliet Tang, is a natural healer and empath herself. after our session together, Juliet left her corporate job and opened her beautiful healing practice in NYC. her ongoing study and certification in the healing arts, as well as those of Akashic Records and the like, keeps her practice and vision evolving to reach a vast collective of people who can benefit from her. here is her gorgeous website, JulietTang.com

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