the tables are turning. finally. dark is being eclipsed by light. finally. this is causing all kinds of behind-the-scenes wars. particularly within media and big tech. things are just not what they have seemed to be, to so many people.
our planet has always been run the same way — it’s just that we are finally seeing the truth of HOW it has always been run. we are seeing the truth because we can not hide from ourselves. we can not hide from ourselves, because technology is too advanced to allow it. how ironic! and, how ironic because those entities one might consider “most advanced” or powerful in tech or, rather I should say big tech and media (including entertainment), carry the most destructive but soon-to-be-revealed force. force is different from power (read my prerequisites). force doesn’t work. force is a farce that appears to work for a brief period of time. a brief period of time could be an actual millennium. either way, and ultimately, force crumbles. it breaks down. and the PHANTOM ENEMY that has been appointed BY FORCE as “The Enemy”, reveals as something…else. the projection screen that everyone has identified as the (phantom) enemy no longer appears to be the enemy as dark is eclipsed by light. and the real enemy emerges. right now, the real enemy is beginning to emerge — because, physics…
as this happens, we are going to see a MASSIVE crumbling of big tech and media as a whole. as a whole, they are our greatest enemy, our greatest offender, and until now, the most invisible one of all. there are many innocent people working within big tech and media, and they do not understand who and what they are actually working for. pay attention to what is going on within major companies — when and why certain C-Suites are stepping down and away. pay attention to who is selling their shares or their companies. pay attention to which institutions fund news channels of all kinds, and how the relationships between those parties changes. it will all become more obvious, because the BRAZEN ARROGANCE of our planet’s puppet masters (puppet masters: these people own and control big tech, media and entertainment) is just so incredible…this brazen arrogance is the blindspot of any totalitarian regime. it’s the one thing that no human can eclipse: the blindspot. this particluar blindspot of arrogance is going to reveal all.
many of the people whom you thought were the enemy, are not and never were. your entire perspective is going to change as truth reveals what your mind could not make sense of before. on a very important note: the more resolution you have with your PERSONAL trauma and your ability to see evil within your OWN life and the people close to you, the easier of a time you are going to have with all of the public domain truth that is coming your way. if you are still in trauma mode and projection mode, as I estimate 80% of human beings are, you are going to have a really hard time with the truth that is coming your way. it’s time to get clean and get clear, because nobody — and I mean NOBODY — can escape what is coming next.
live honestly. even if it “costs” you short-term. there is no escaping the karma that we create for ourselves and others.
as many of you who know me know, I have been dealing with unthinkable censorship since 2017 (brief backstory is here, on my Instagram page). after my websites were stolen and restricted, I was alerted to (foggy and hard to concretely prove) simultaneous censorship and shadow banning at the hands of media companies — namely, big tech / social media outlets and ISPs (internet service providers). while the story will ultimately tell itself, I am asking for as much help as possible with identifying where, when and how people can NOT visit my website. for example: after GOOGLE refused me the ability to advertise on its platform in multiple ways (I have this in writing) and refused my locations and many other things, it was noted that people using CHROME (a GOOGLE product) could not open my site; yet, they COULD open it in internet explorer or via another browser. this issue remains alive and unwell. the fact is, certain browsers and ISPs restrict my website. the “why” of this will come to you at a later time. what I need help with now, is the “when” and “where”…
I am asking everyone I know — assuming you even get to this page, on whichever device of yours — to please note whether or not you can open my website via mobile, desktop, chrome, or some other browser. I need to know which devices and browsers are slow, and which ones are not. I need all the data I can get. please ALSO ask your friends and colleagues who have never heard of me, to identify and record the same. I need both screenshots and videos of what is happening.
you can email firstname.lastname@example.org ONLY with evidence of NOT getting to my website. for all other questions please follow protocol and contact the business line directly at 917-985-1221. thank you in advance for being part of my positive mark in history. I sincerely appreciate any and all support.
sexual predators survive because their family and victims protect them.
it is amazing to me, the number of cases I am familiar with throughout my lifetime thus far. and in each and every case, I see an entire family rallying around the most insidious, evil, often outwardly powerful individual (predator).
of course, predators do not have to be men. in many cases, they are. and in many or nearly all of these cases, their families protect them — because, you know, REPUTATION.
in all cases of abuse, not just sexual, I have discovered one thing to be true nearly 100% of the time: the witnesses, the complicit, the bystanders, care more about their image than the victim. just like wild animals, they will eat one of their own to save face. it is the human condition at its most pathetic.
many years ago, I was out and about in New York City. I saw a very run-down, broken-down, modified version of an amazing person I once knew as a child. the child I knew was gorgeous, stunning, both inside and out, and had a life inside of them that just could not be put out. as I gazed at the individual who reminded me of this once-child I knew, they gazed back as if they knew me too. in a completely altered state this person approached me: they were, in fact, the effervescent child I once knew. I was in shock. what had happened to them? why were they like this? why were they in such active addiction that they didn’t even resemble themselves physically, not to mention energetically? I was embarrassed for this person, saddened, curious, and incredibly empathetic as to what might have happened to them. I didn’t realize, at the time, that MANY (ok, I am going to say based on thousands of individuals that I have treated: ALMOST ALL) active addicts are products of incest and sexual abuse or rape. I wasn’t as fully aware before this last decade, of the correlation between those two things, as I am now. another byproduct of sexual crimes is, of course, eating disorders. anyhow, I looked at the person who I once knew in this public place and I simply could not get over my shock as to the stark contrast they bore in resemblance to who they once were. when I thought about their family, I recalled them being the family that everyone idolized; their parents were powerful WASPS moving between NYC and the suburbs for work and social, their children were visibly stunning and intelligent, and they appeared to have it all — and most of all, respect from their peers (the parents, namely). I remembered all of the things that they did and achieved as children, and how much their parents seemed to care for them. BUT: it was all a show. as I stood in this public space in the heart of Manhattan, I would hear something that almost knocked me to my knees as well as terrified me. this person from my past suddenly and randomly shared with me some most atrocious details, details that I am afraid to include here even though I am writing in the most anonymous way possible. in the moment of their sharing, I realized that I was the first and only person that this individual ever shared that information with regarding their past, and their present. to date, I have heard few things as horrifying. not only had they witnessed and experienced the most unthinkable acts of abuse at the hands of their parents, but their life was threatened if they were to share anything about it. their siblings shared the same fate. one of their parents was the active physical predator (this went on for YEARS), while the other one was the complicit predator. and in a moment, it all made sense. these beautiful children had all become addicts, as well as suffered from eating disorders and dysmorphic conditions. they had ALL been in trouble with the law. and all the while, their “parents” remained the pillars of society. IMAGINE THAT! what a beautiful pity party it must have been, for these WONDERFUL parents to have such screwed up children. and let me be clear: I see this happening everywhere. turn on the news and see for yourself (if you can actually SEE).
like so many other things that I have been made aware of in my life, there was no one to tell this story to. all of the children in this scenario were already grown adults, and had royally messed up their lives because their lives were actively, methodically and deliberately stolen from them. who would I tell? and if I did, I could have faced a nightmare of my own. I also realized that this child I had once known, the one who existed in perhaps only 1% of the person’s body who came clean with me about their past, was not even remotely available for help. this encounter stuck with me for years to come, and the details that were shared with me would play over and over in my head again every time I came across yet another victim who had been used as a chess piece by their “family”. nearly every victim I would encounter in the future had an excuse for or a recantation of their story or experience after I heard it. of course we know what Stockholm syndrome is, and of course that plays a part in any case of abuse. but what really made me curious was the lengths to which the parents and families (extended family included) would go, to make CERTAIN that not only did the abuse NOT reach public earshot, but actually that it CONTINUE. side-note: I wrote another article about WHY people molest, and you can read it here. it’s got a LOT in it, and no it is not what you have read about before in terms of how the physics of this stuff works.
the absolute NEED for the dynamic of abuse to continue within a family dynamic is absolutely astounding to me. but, I get it. and as old as it gets for me personally, it NEVER gets old. it is as if each person in the family will DIE if they do not keep the show running — the victims MUST remain the victims, the enablers MUST remain the enablers, the heroes (father of the year! mother of the year!) MUST remain the heroes, and the audience MUST remain the audience: appearances are EVERYTHING to a corrupt “family”. in the case of the person I shared earlier here, this was LITERALLY the M.O. for the victims, the enabler (mother), and the hero (the rapist father). until the day that their parents died, they stuck to their story: “greatest parents ever!!!”. imagine that.
I will get back to how the “family” covers up and also RELIES on their own intrinsic abuse for survival in a moment, because I also want to touch on WHAT THEY DO with these lies. you can’t have a secret THAT BIG, and not DO anything with it. it’s why some abuse drugs, vomit, commit crimes, etc. but that’s still not enough. in every case I have ever known, denial of such a big truth creates the biggest projection screen one could imagine. and this is where “causes” come in and become their focus — particularly victim causes for other victims. instead of acknowledging that the most important predator in the world is living IN THEIR HOUSE (or once did), these people become incredibly passionate about exposing the predators that they perceive to be roaming the planet. THEY BETRAY THEMSELVES ALL OVER AGAIN. I’ve seen this happen live. literally. I could say to someone “so, you are aware of the fact that your father is a rapist…you don’t remember him raping you…but you know he raped your sibling because you saw it…yet you remain connected to him?”. and they will make up an excuse and go about their business and then find ANYONE or ANY story on the news that they think even resembles their hidden truth, and they will wave the flag like nobody’s business. at that point, not only are they betraying themSELVES (again), but they are betraying the entire cause. and it’s not their fault. but there has to be some level of accountability for knowing your own ugly personal truth, but denying it while jumping on someone else’s bandwagon. it doesn’t make sense. and it’s also why a lot of causes get ruined and lose steam — they are being focused on by people who won’t even accept the apparent and consciously prevalent evil in their own flocking families. it is also why people deliberately and falsely accuse. THEY NEED A PLACE TO PUT “IT”.
the child I once knew who disappeared into the darkness of the most evil of creatures, turned their back on the real cause: because they had decided alongside their family that that’s what you do. not only did they turn their back on the real cause which is simply the name of truth, but they strengthened the cause of evil which allows this energy to perpetuate: they put on a FRONT. as many families do. particularly wealthy and otherwise privileged families. it’s a whole tribal thing.
the lengths that I have seen a mother go to, to “turn a blind eye”, just to save face, while throwing her young right under a speeding bus, are unimaginable. desperate to have the appearance of a good life, the illusion of happiness, and the access to society as a “woman who has it all” supersedes ANY concern for her children. and let me be clear: women molest, too. women rape. particularly histrionic mothers (but that is another article). I’m just using particular gender here from the majority of examples that I am familiar with to describe the family’s role in its own systemic abuse…which absolutely keeps them running (it is their gasoline). in the most sick ways.
The Menendez Brothers case is certainly one to consider and take note of. I can tell you with 100% certainty that when both parents live with their children under one roof, EVERYONE knows the truth. they just lie about it. after all, their very breath came from lies. their very foundation is built upon NOT TELLING THE TRUTH. but they get really good at it. the victims lie to themselves, and for the parents. the parents lie to the victims, and to society. the point is EVERYONE knows what is going on. even when they say that they do not. there is simply no escaping a truth that big.
I thought about the mother of the childhood friend I described earlier, and how I had thought of her when I was a child. she seemed strong, tethered, very active in the community, and just…normal. how terrifying is that? again, after hearing about so many of these cases as well as having certain experiences of my own, it all however made perfect sense. the facade of the sexually abusive family is the gold and the glory. the facade is the ultimate mirror of confusion, and it must be put in place on day one in order to function properly. I thought back to any cracks I might have seen in the mother’s facade in this case, and I just couldn’t find any. I really didn’t know the truth those decades earlier. usually I feel like I know, at least in retrospect. I didn’t. I just knew how beautiful those kids were, and how full of life they were. it is unthinkable, how things are just not what they seem to be.
in all of these cases, one thing is for sure: victims protect their abusers. 99% of them go to their grave protecting them. and regardless of why, they betray themselves as well as society in a double-betrayal when they hide their secrets. of course, they are just doing what they were trained to do — that is what abuse does. but it is super important to note, that the majority of people walking around outside who have any history of abuse, are not only not honestabout it (again, for a variety of reasons), but they will find other people to project their untold truths onto. this is dangerous. it’s dangerous for everyone. and I see it constantly. and I wonder where the line of accountability is, for people to stop pointing the finger at others when their own sexual offender lives in the same house as them. or funds their life. isn’t that like committing a metaphoric triple homicide? you betray yourself, you betray the truth of the family, and you betray others going through the same thing by placing that blame somewhere more convenient…lying to oneself — NO MATTER THE REASON — is literally the definition of evil.
it is a standard operating tool of the brain to displace traumatic events and identify others as perpetrators when they are, in fact, NOT perpetrators. when I was 20 I had this (platonic) girlfriend. every time she drank, she accused me of hurting or offending her. it got to the point in which I wrote her a letter explaining why I could not be her friend anymore. I did not understand her behavior at the time. she went on to have a string of three engagements to AMAZING men: she did the same thing in each relationship. just as things were about to get good, she flipped a switch. she made every single person her perpetrator. I felt so sorry for her, watching this happen from afar. she was and is gorgeous. I used to want to look like her, to have her confidence, to have her wardrobe, to have her possibilities. I would never trade places with her now. I see her alone and flailing with no roots. no therapy or proper self-reflection (it is very important to note that a LOT of these completely unhealed people move into positions of “healer” or “therapist”!). and I understand her. she is a good person. but she will not face her truth. and that is the only way out…
we suffer grave injustice, not to suffer it — but to do something with it. each of our internal moral compasses is tested, constantly, in different ways. the bottom line is to face fear, not run away from and with it. and abuse of the nature that I am describing here creates the most atrocious fear I could imagine feeling. but it is a chance to energetically end the cycle, not just for oneself but for others. when we cower in tribal shame, protecting the tribe, we are throwing many innocent victims whom we have never met, right under the bus. sometimes being a victim isn’t about being a victim — it is about being a perpetrator…a perpetrator with the opportunity to stop perpetration via willingness to face the fact that s/he is a victim. and then do something with that truth.
it has been a long, windy, nearly unendurable three years for me. my life has run on fascinating two to three-year cycles, for roughly the last twenty years, with regard to personal lessons earned and learned. to read more about my specific last three life cycles including this one, feel free to read this article.
the above article doesn’t spell out the particulars of the themes and over-arching lessons during my most recent cycle, but I will share it and it will be shared via upcoming press and media in 2020.
when I speak about cycles, I am speaking about personal awakenings. it is something I learned about for the first time when my life fell to absolute shambles and pieces in 2002. this would not be the last time. I have been used to “resurrecting” my entire life, and so as I am incredibly familiar with adversity I was able to make it through what I consider to be personal deaths – associated with the aforementioned cycles. with that said, and in each and every period of time all three times, I am amazed I made it through. this last cycle in particular, which I can officially say has closed or is extremely close to closing, was the most treacherous and educational of all.
what I share here and in the above link to a relative article of mine, is not to be confused with anything medical or psychological. I am writing about deeply personal, soul-wise, spiritual philosophical states and if you can not relate, it simply means that you can not relate — nothing more. as I’ve stated many times, and there is a reason I am stating it, I treat a number of top clinical psych experts, as well as top tier medical doctors and scientists to solve problems that they have not been able to otherwise solve. I also study and seek therapy weekly with a top neuroscientist psychoanalyst. with that said, I know that my head is screwed on straight and I am not going off into hippy dippy ayahuasca or substance-related “enlightenment” when I’m writing about concrete human experiences I’ve had and how I interpret them…and so that I may also share with others going through what I’ve gone through. I’ve never found a hand-book or guidebook for what I experience, so this is why I write. knowing that what I write about resonates and exists beyond me is evident in the very unique couple thousand-plus patients I’ve had over the last decade or so. in understanding and analyzing thousands of cases, I know that boxes can’t explain everything and I know that the potential for medical misdiagnosis during an actual event of the soul is nearly always possible. I also know that those claiming to be having “spiritual” experiences are frequently very mentally ill (and will never seek or stay in clinical psych or psychoanalytical therapy with a gifted clinical expert — something many people gravely need).
so now that you know where I am coming from (and if you have been reading my blog here for many years then I need not explain myself), perhaps you can enjoy my other articles on this subject matter as well as appreciate what I include in this one. my eBooklet 1 also details much of what I express here.
there is a lot of misinformation out there. since it is suddenly (somewhere between 2012 and now?) trendy to be a so-called healer, psychic or otherwise intuitive, we see all kinds of lunatics popping up online with their paid-for followings and hard-to-discern profiles. the same might also be argued for the clinical realm too, though. I have met more bat-shit crazy clinical therapists than I can count at this point. at the end of the day, there is this: people are people are people. everywhere. the fact that they can make it through an exam or pay someone else to make it through their exam that gives them a certificate or license of some sort does not make someone excellent. going to the best school does not make someone excellent. “studying” xyz with the best person does not make someone excellent. inherently being the BEING that they claim to be, makes them excellent. and so right now, with an already questionable professional psychological / clinical realm (because, people) combined with the fact that the bandwagon of self-help gurus has landed (the trend will expire soon), many people are being tested to know one thing: truth. how does one know who’s right? or, who’s right for them? well, that is a question I asked long ago, when I began, as I thought about others lining up with me and my work. it is why my PROTOCOL is exactly such. I don’t get it right EVERY time in terms of working with the ideal candidate for my work (because, then I would have no lessons of my own to learn – and as long as I am breathing I will have them), but I come pretty close. I’ve come as close as I could have dreamed of coming, and as close as any power within me will allow. and the reason that I do this is that there must be 100% honor with the kind of work that I do, to help others. part of my point is, we end up lining up with what we are supposed to learn. if we are fooled by a charlatan for a time, then there is a valuable lesson in there — not a waste of time. I’ve been fooled many times as a younger person. and since I was brainwashed on an OPPOSITE world view as a child (as in, what is true is false — and what is false is true) I had a lot of lessons to learn!!! including my most recent ones. my main point in this paragraph is the fact that although we may not know who or what is true, we are always lining up exactly where we are supposed to be. there are good people bad people sane people and crazy people EVERYWHERE hiding behind licenses and certificates or none of the above. where we land is something to observe and learn from — then move on. don’t be scared if you met the “wrong” therapist or spiritual guru for the last two or ten years of your life. you were there learning from that person, regardless. even if they are a freak or a charlatan. even if they hurt you or lied to you. now you can build them into your brick wall and move on with all of the difficulty that they offered you to sort through by confusing you, and simply being who they are. it’s ok if they aren’t for you. you gained. next.
the last few years felt like that for me — a whole lot of inverted realities and situations, lessons for old nascent present-life themes and programming that my soul desperately needed to overcome so that I can move into the blessings and gifts that are waiting for me as I move into a new chapter in my life. that said, these periods of time — they feel like voids — can’t be fixed or remedied by anything that you do…even if you LEARN the lesson. as we walk out of our bodies for a time, to adjust our new cellular and updated unconscious memory within the body, we simply WAIT. I refer to this quite a bit in my eBooklet 1. and no matter how deep my process goes, I am never prepared for these void periods (aka dark night of the soul – and if you think you’ve had one, you probably have NOT. there are barely words for this and you don’t want one). but then that’s what the end of one of these things is for! preparation.
I’m prepared. in the last three years — an avalanche which began in September 2016 — a number of things happened with people and…things. for starters, beginning September 2016. I had a promising partnership just — thwarted. overnight. with no reason. and I mean, none. now, I don’t want to go into conspiracies like an evil eye. BUT. I do believe that those who have the evil eye out (or practice ANYTHING against the will of the Universe and God) will often MATCH the lessons that we need for our soul to grow. and so for a time, it could be considered a “curse” (I don’t believe in curses and I am explaining why here) — but it is only a curse with an expiration. the expiration is the moment we are done learning the lesson with the person place or thing that God lined us up with to purge xyz THING from our conscious or unconscious mind. the fascinating thing is, the person place or thing that is inhabiting the “dark” energy that is ordained for us to line up with (particularly when we chronically live in fear as I did) — often in the form of a human, hosting this energy — has a blindspot because it is arrogant. like a sociopath, the kinds of people who host dark energy contain a blindspot that cancels their ability to consider that their darkness being used to create some kind of THING is only temporary. they have this blindspot because when they are directing this sort of energy (call it an evil eye if you like) they are in an ADDICTION. this dark energy is the same as addiction. it fools. it plays. it falsely claims to be one thing but it is another. and just like the evil eye caster, it is deluded into thinking it is powerful. little does it know, it is a pawn in God’s plan to simply help another person (sometimes by torturing them) transcend their lessons and die/rebirth. I’ve never experienced it any other way. and in the middle of one of these incidents or particularly overall cycles, it feels that there is no way out. in September 2016, a snowball (begun with an “evil eye”) began to form and come to its fullest size/avalanche within two years.
so the first thing that was thwarted was the partnership. simultaneously, there was a very difficult time for three of my clients at the same time and ironically in the same location (not in NYC). one of my employees became very ill. by November 2016 I received a bizarre audit from the IRS (since I am METICULOUS, I had literally one dozen journals/calendars with every single thing I did every day of the year!) which took a long time (over one year!) and caused restriction for me. I unwittingly hired INCREDIBLY corrupt people to take care of some of my logistics. my tax info was being sent to another address for months which cost me thousands extra. my first big press piece was met with a stalker, as well as an army of trolls. someone threatened my assistant. I was followed for months on end and had my photo taken outside of my residence. by July 2017 I hired a corrupt, fake media consultant who brought two others just like them to my table. I took those folks on because I trusted this person (even though my radar was up and I tried to push back but was told I was crazy — ALWAYS listen to your gut!, no matter how quiet it is) and had my websites stolen and re-listed with someone else’s A records. I was played with for tens of thousands by someone who had no real business or training, but who name-dropped like crazy so I thought they were legit. by August 2017 after having my sites stolen and restricted, I was (unwittingly at the time – I did not know this for a fact until this fall of 2019) being censored and shadowbanned online, starting with Google. it then extended to all other social media platforms — basically anything you can think of. [it’s still happening. my site won’t work or load from many computers or phones. every day, it is something new]. that year, my revenue took a dive, because it can take hundreds of people/voicemails for me to vet/know “this is the right time for this person” (if I haven’t called you back, please read my About section to understand my process – I do this for YOU, otherwise I would just have an open door policy and crush it with $ simply to crush it) before working with someone. during 2017 as well, I met at least three very pronounced sociopaths and had to discover that on my own, after the fact (this was particularly the most rewarding part of this cycle — SEEING mental illness, personality disorders, and the magnitude of such in ALL DEGREES…I developed an understanding of people on a level I did not know exists) – this nearly sucked the life out of me. a promising partnership ghosted in 2017. it was something that I had spent months on, and laying the foundation for. a patient of mine had a severe breakdown. the expenses associated with trying to understand how to retrieve my websites and IP and also WHAT was happening to my traffic (now I know!) were more than I could handle and I had a massive six-figure bill due to my revenue change. I had people I supported and built businesses for get greedy, deceptive and malicious — because they lacked something inside. I had clients of mine worm-tongued about ME by people I supported and promoted (same reason as above) who had no legs to stand on when we first met. betrayal became a psychologically fascinating phenomenon for me to observe and know what that meant about ME. mostly it was this. I also had someone threaten to kill themselves, and blame me for it (classic). there is a lot that I’m missing, but all of this over a two-year period of time, and then a year buffer on top of it (2019) to determine: “SO, WHAT DID YOU LEARN”?
some reading this who don’t get it might say “law of attraction! law of attraction! you brought this upon yourself”! — yeah ok. we attract exactly the lessons that each of us in particular need. I don’t need the same lessons as someone else and they don’t need the same lessons as me. my purpose, which is particular, factors into EVERYTHING that I went through. another person with a different purpose would have NO NEED to go through what I went through. and so my point is, all things are truly relative to where you are supposed to be in life. it’s not all necessarily attraction, at least not in the way that the trendy spiritual folks try to write about or preach it. you can’t reflect back my life to me from the 7th floor if I live on the 11th floor. all you see is the 7th floor. that’s your reality. in this way, it is important to chat with people who have been through similar experiences and feel similar consciously (note I did not say “spiritually”). there are a ton of “coaches” who have no flocking clue as to how the world works. and if you want a tip on finding the right coach, then I say find someone who actively goes to therapy. find their LinkedIn or professional page to verify WHO THEY ARE. people who can’t confront themselves or be vulnerable in any way DO NOT GO to therapy. those who are able to be honest, and have honest conversations with themselves, GO TO therapy. or something equivalent and that addresses the MIND not the “astral field”. it’s time to get real. this choo-choo train of “self-help gurus” is ending and what we will be left with somewhere and collectively is truth (a regulation for this work will present — and I believe that regulation is simple: truth).
so my “law of attraction” above is not really such. my soul was going to learn those deep, important lessons, no matter what I did or didn’t do and no matter how “positive” I think. first of all, I am an exceedingly positive person. I find the beautiful lining in any and every problem. and during this last period of my life, it was the first time or perhaps first time of all three times (cycles) that I failed to find it. I was at less than 1% battery as far as my own capable life force was concerned. I had allowed myself to be taken and pulled from in all sorts of directions. this never, for a moment, though, impacted my work with others. that is always, always, an exceptional and protected domain. it will be that way until I die, likely because I only do it when I know it’s really right. I also did not work for weeks at a time (God’s plan – in part thanks to censorship). within and around the snowball that started in September 2016 and that became the avalanche by December 2018, I wasn’t able to see the light. there was no one there to rescue me. I didn’t fully connect with my then-therapist any longer (thankfully I have a new one, and I can hardly believe how incredible they are). I questioned my sanity (again – and also realizing that crazy people don’t question their sanity) as it seemed something so giant was changing in me from the inside out. I spent all of 2019 letting go. letting go of the way I used to let people engage with me or take from me. I let go of imbalances. and I tried to let go of knowing how many people I came across who had bad intentions toward me – simply because they wanted something that I had. and that’s not how it works — bad intention can only “take” from another for so long.
all of 2019 has been a clearing of the decks. a healing of old fears and traumas around people taking care of me and how it will never happen. a healing of projecting my positive qualities elsewhere and disowning them for fear of being powerful (whatever that even means – to me it means my 100% self). 2019 has been a rebuilding after a full-on two-year-plus period of soul desert time. I’ve done this before. it’s the ultimate resurrection.
when the personal resurrection occurs because what we went through did not kill us, we are in the ultimate power (as referenced above) for a time. this time happens to be my sun sign in Jupiter. then the next year happens to be my moon sign in Jupiter. judging simply from previous twelve-year Jupiter cycles, I know that there is nothing that can get in my way now. I truly did not know if I would be able to “get up” after this last hazing of sorts. but I did. slowly. and I died a million times during it. and for the first time in twelve years, I feel not only mySELF like never before, but even better than before. when we step / back into our ultimate power, it is then that we transcend all that handed us a snowball for the avalanche. I refer to this as karma. I have lived out my karma to integrate new lessons pertinent to the things I have asked for (be careful what you ask for – you will get it if you are willing to do the work around it which will feel like it has killed you), and anyone/anything associated with serving me that ugliness will know theirs. it’s not about revenge-thinking, it’s about physics. and I’ve never seen it any other way. and so watch alongside me. everyone and everything that participated in my two-year tornado will also experience a reaction. in my personal life, with regard to themes of extreme betrayal (I have had so many of these lessons — so that I may TRANSCEND early pieces of myself that I NO LONGER NEED), I have ALWAYS SEEN that there is a one to two-year reactionary period for anyone/anything involved. meaning, their life changes too. according to what they put out. once and now that the cycle is over.
our greatest currency is not intention, it is INTEGRITY. I see and hear a lot of people ripping off my words, passing them off as their own in their “advice” columns or podcasts, when they barely understand them to begin with. I know this because when they met me, they knew nothing. no language, no metaphors, no analogies. you can’t rip off ideas if you have never LIVED them. if you have lived them, they are YOURS. and many of those who rip things off in general are as far from “light” as one can get. they wear that of others. and their facades will indeed crack. and they will be seen. and many of us will learn from this. it’s happening in every domain in life. often, my personal life cycles are timed with the collective or just ahead of collective trend. right now is no different. and my currency (truth, clarity) is greater than ever. this means the outside world will line up with it and it will be seen externally since the baby is ready to come out. the baby is a metaphor for all of the integrated horrendous lessons of this last period of time. and again, as we learn these lessons and move forward, everyone who had a role in our life changes too — and we see it externally, for better, or for worse. again, I can’t express the importance of integrity. if you are doing it ANY other way, you are asking for trouble. you can still about-face, reverse, and clean it up.
one thing that came out of all of the above this last period of time is my TV Series. I wrote it in the Spring of 2018, in the middle of my avalanche as my entire world — inner and outer — was falling apart in order to construct my future. I am calling the series Great Awakening, which reflects a period of time on our planet. it is a six-part TV Series docu-drama based on my six eBooklets that I wrote in 2015 and published in 2016. there are not words to express the kind of show this will be, as it’s never been done – content-wise and otherwise. I’m going all out for this show. brick by brick the foundation has been built and although it was sitting on my shelf next to my big book since early 2018, it became time to deliver it just this past September 2019. my passion for media via multimedia has been there forever. it’s why I dipped into TV and Film over a decade ago (during my last lovely Jupiter cycle!). I will be putting out some notices for additional people I’ve worked with as a means to contact me (I do not use my old email any longer to send emails) in the event they want to speak about their experiences relative to our work together and my eBooklets for the TV Series. this is surely a time in which I can really bridge HE™ and all that it is, with my outer world focus.
as I reclaim my inner power at this time, a lot of things are clear. it’s clear how different this show will be. it’s clear who was who and what was what in the past. it’s amazing that I made it through the last eye of the needle. I truly did not know if I would a few times. I reached a place of knowing that I thought I already had, but I didn’t. I see my next life chapter clearly. I have a few big dreams that I will absolutely make come true this year, and I can’t wait to share them with you. those I’ve worked with know the real me. and I want to find ways to maintain that connection even as I navigate other waters.
I have press coming up that no “evil eye” can ruin. some of it is international/global. one piece will be about my censorship. mainstream news has not reported on either topic before in the way that it’s been set up for me/I’m setting it up right now. there are a lot of reasons for this. and it’s been my focus for some time. it’s felt unsafe in the past. and, I reached a point last year at which I didn’t care whether it was safe or not anymore. I’m beyond that point now and it feels glorious. I have proper support with cyber tech, legal, therapist and beyond. I am ready to embrace what is next and what is next is very public stuff.
as my focuses shift back and forth I still consider all kinds of work, so follow my protocol here on my website. if you do not hear from me, it simply means I’m not able to see you or anyone at that time. typically people get that.
I am also changing my mailing list format (again) so stay tuned to be able to subscribe again if you need to.
I’m on a little bit of a big tech / AI kick if you can’t tell from my yesterday’s article here. the interesting part about that article is this. I woke up earlier than usual and SHOT out of bed with the healthy impulse to write that article before noon. typically yes I get inspired, even excited to write something that I am passionate about, but yesterday felt different. I was jolted, physically. THEN, after writing my article, I take a peek at my little social media apps — and see all over the “news” that Joe Rogan had dropped his Ed Snowden interview here, and that Mark Zuckerberg was testifying live before congress! I guess it (yesterday) was a day for disclosure of some sorts. I know there will be more, and more, and more…to come. across the board. GET READY.
when I say GET READY, what I really mean, in the kindest, simplest and most straightforward terms possible is: get conscious. no, I’m not talking about vaping out at a “spiritual retreat” or venturing into foreign lands to become “awakened”; the truth is, if you can’t awaken in your ordinary life, then you simply won’t awaken. tools such as the above that I jab at are merely…tools. they aren’t the THING. there are so many misconceptions about healing and consciousness, it is just incredible. that is why I write this blog.
so getting conscious. and again, what does that have to do with AI? first of all, getting conscious will prepare you for the truth. the truth, to you, may mean one thing right now. but when you are conscious, it will mean something ENTIRELY different. no, your personal moral compass will not change. just your awareness. I’ll get back to AI in a minute.
getting conscious can be provoked by doing a number of things — again, I list so many of them in my blog here. in the most basic ways, getting conscious can be set the tone for by things like plenty of sleep (and I mean PLENTY), plenty of water, very healthy foods, and exercise. that sounds like a total cliche but you would not believe how many people bypass the (above) absolute basics to even prep their mind to receive anything clean. and, whatever is sitting there (IN THE MIND), WILL multiply — whether it is good or not, and whether it is bad or not. if you can master the basics, there are of course other ways that you can grease your consciousness portal for clean delivery. unplug and be alone. I mean it. does it hurt to be alone? emotionally? psychologically? physically? without ANY electronic devices? well then, good. go and detox from one or both (preferably both) and FEEL those chemicals coming out. so many people can not do this. they are addicted to people and devices. and how in the FLOCK do you expect to get ANY true guidance, in this state? and if you can master the latter, in addition to the basics, then you can still take it further. I’ll let you pontificate on what would be right for you, because I will tell you that what is right for you (BEYOND AND AFTER all of the above, first) is whatever is the most exciting for you. yep. whatever most pleases you. maybe it’s creative. maybe it’s not. but probably creativity fuels it whether you recognize it as such, or not. and it is ONLY after we are clean portals can we ACTUALLY go and do what we enjoy, and be certain that it is not a bandaid or a drug that we are using to cover up the pain of the basics that we can’t master because we are actually addicts. (PS: everyone is an addict. in some way. to some thing. it’s just a matter of what, when, how, why, and coming to terms with such).
if and once you have some truth flowing through you — from YOUR CORE (and remember: this is NOT about making certain people, or certain GROUPS of people, right or wrong! if you are conscious, you are entitled to YOUR truth, and so is someone else! it is AMAZING to me that many people actually call themselves progressive and they are the most judgemental, ignorant flocks breathing!) — begin to note WHAT IS YOURS AND WHAT IS NOT. this is VERY hard to do. this is what I get paid to teach people. but, it can happen. if and when we are awake. there are subtleties that turn into major states of being. the trick is in identifying the subtleties. for example, when you wake up in the morning and have a disturbing foreign thought or feeling and you can not place it. well, how about how did it get there? if you are CONSCIOUS, you can take inventory and find out. and if you are conscious, you can figure out what devices were placed next to your head while you slept. or what messages you sent late at night before bed or what messages came in upon waking that you don’t even know you have, but that are SITTING IN YOUR LITTLE MAGICAL DEVICE. the messages, that are sitting in your little device, HAVE ALREADY BEEN DELIVERED TO YOU. your consciousness is synced to your devices. don’t believe me? try and do all of the above — spend time cleaning your antenna. get super, super clear. hear truth. THEN, compare that truth with foreign feelings. assuming you are not regressing into post-trauma (you should be in therapy for this! I don’t care if you can’t afford it — I used ALANON and similar support groups for years when I could not afford therapy! and now, I pay for therapy instead of owning a home!), you will be able to spot AI interference in your life. the drama, the lies, and the negativity that the little devices we wear and touch all day are designed to deliver straight through our consciousness and into our hearts. to continue, to divide and conquer us. it’s worked so far, hasn’t it?
are you able to have a conversation with someone totally different than you, who thinks looks and acts totally differently from you? no? then go do some work on yourself. it is not normal or healthy to surround yourself with ONLY people who think look and act like you. I look at my entire patient base — they could not be more “different”, in the outer world, each one of them; BUT, they are ALL THE SAME. they are all able to sit and converse, pleasantly disagree and agree to disagree on outer world matters, and still LOVE each other. we have just about NO adult examples of this on social media (where most people, and most young people, get their “news”). and it is dangerous. but it is AGENDA. the outrage that resides in people…where does that come from? sure, we catalog and “box” people because it makes us feel safe, when we do not know better…but AI (read my previous post to understand more) actually preys on and plays on our said human vulnerabilities. we do not have to allow this to be the case anymore.
if you are really evolved, and really invested in the things that you say you are invested in, then you should be able to, as let’s say for example a far right person to, go to a far left event and listen (NOT to change your mind, just to see if you can sit there and tolerate it and see the humanity in people). and if you are for example a far left person then you should be able to go to a far right event and listen AND DO EXACTLY THE SAME. what you MAY hear, is a lot of people, in each group, saying EXACTLY THE SAME THING. but using different words and experiences to say those things. that is, if you are able to HEAR them. there is simply no such thing as “one group” of people being more awake or evolved than another. but, AGENDA and deceit AS AN ENTITY lives more often than not in the designated “woke” and “fair” groups, that is for sure! it is how evil hides in plain sight! oh, the IRONY.
people say to me all of the time “do you live in Williamsburg?”. LOL! I get it, it’s because I wear the funny pilgrim hats and the vintage biker jackets and such. but why does that mean that I live in Brooklyn or would like, need to “dress the part” of the neighborhood that I live in? I mean, I’m not on an episode of Girls. but the point is, that people need to organize their thoughts (so that they can feel in control) about WHO SOMEONE IS based on how they look, what interests them, and what they believe. but that’s not who a person IS. I’ve NEVER “dressed the part” for anywhere that I’ve lived, and I’ve never picked a place because it’s “cool”. God that takes SO MUCH ENERGY. I feel exhausted just writing about it. what’s my point here? think less about the exterior and consider for a moment that you don’t know squat about someone’s inner world. unless you truly know squat about yours. which is unlikely. that takes work. and no it’s not an Ayahuasca retreat. it’s daily, conscious work to consider that we can not control the outer world by assuming things!
the New Moon is always a good time, when it comes, to consider new ways of living or being. I am not an astrology expert, but I can suggest a look at good old YouTube for some live references! I really enjoy information shared by Nadiya Shah, Kelley Rosano, and The Leo King. this weekend we are in for a new open portal of energy, which might really compliment our continued efforts to simply live, breathe, survive and THRIVE on this planet for the very short amount of time that we are here.
AI aka artificial intelligence is dangerous and there are many moving parts to it. and if you think it does not affect you on MANY levels, then you do not understand it.
this week in my therapist’s office their phone repeated back a phrase I spoke — right in the middle of the session. being an older person, my therapist (although a genius), was thrown off. they didn’t understand specifically what happened. they are not an internet baby. I took their phone and disabled siri. not that that solves anything, as both my therapist AND I know that we are all being recorded, word by word, and video by video, ALL. DAY. LONG. they know, because they have worked with CIA. I know, because I have worked with well…some of the most powerful, knowledgeable, and influential people on our planet. and as a consequence, particularly beginning shortly after the last U.S. Presidential election, I became a focus — and a target. but before I get into that, I note the little “siri” episode just to give you some extremely basic framework for what I am explaining. and perhaps you already know about (and are totally desensitized to) phones speaking back to you when you have done nothing to prompt them because you did not enable a function and ask a vocal question. but are you really comfortable with and do you really understand the “flukes” and where all of that information is going? likely NOT.
for nearly 3 years now, I have waited to be able to explain some of the most hands-down difficult period of my life. I waited because of timing, and I waited because I hoped that maybe, just maybe, things couldn’t get any worse for me. well, they did. and I am at the point in which there is literally nothing left to lose except for my life. sounds dramatic? well it is. I’ll be surprised if this post makes it anywhere online, particularly considering the massive shadowban on me since 2017.
backing up a bit. I have consulted for many, many different types of people. I’ve seen some of the most intelligent people on our planet and consulted on AI. I’ve consulted on autism and for parents of autistic children. I’ve consulted for high-ranking military. the work that I do, although seemingly packaged in a “cute” or “attractive” little “new age healer” or “reiki healer” container, is so much more. I was quite content, in the beginning of my practice and this ENTIRE TIME, to be downplayed and written off as a little cuckoo. being judged for being xyz (so, whatever xyz could mean) used to be a safety zone for me. I was happy being seen as just another pretty face who was “helping people” in some way; perhaps a bohemian off-the-grid thinker and believer in potions and home remedies to “fix” people and their health. and I say this, because these are the comments and assumptions that I USED to get. early on, and before shite hit the fan in terms of me being focused on by “The Masters of The Universe” (as a very prominent, very achieved, and now very public scientist referred to “them”). and if you don’t believe in “them”, well, at some point, “they” will affect you while you are conscious of them. they are affecting you right now while you are NOT conscious of them. I’ll get to “them” in a bit.
throughout my life, and over the past 20 years in particular, I’ve met some of the most fascinating people. in all industries. when I was young (and I wrote a whole eBooklet about this), I recall being fascinated by the number of celebrities (aka, at THAT time, people who actually did things to earn accolades which, in turn, made them famous) I would meet, just naturally (pre social media too, thank goodness) being out and about, and wondering what it all “meant” (hint: I would reconnect with them years later in fortuitous ways, related to my work). in college, a kid in my same dorm was building the first / most successful online music sharing platform in the world. a year or so later, THE most successful online social network was being built across the river while I was in school and I had no idea. I became friends with one of the originals from that platform in the early 2000s and never knew until I saw them in Time Magazine in 2010 that they were behind it all. I’ve met Chairmen of major US banks. I’ve met some of Hollywood’s greatest (the kind who, I believe, are, unaffected-by-the-“game”-people — as they are the kind who truly bypassed corruption and made it on their own). some of these people were clients. some of them asked to be clients. I won’t digress into how I work, all you have to do is read my About and Public Figures sections. in short: I can’t be bought. because I know what comes with it. with all of that said, I preface this article with the above information because it lays important foundation.
when my practice Healing Elaine® took off, it was 2012 (when I say “take off”, I was no longer littering all of Manhattan with my postcards and company contact info — my phone was ringing on its own by that point). I saw mostly “regular” people. the setup was, I would meet with them, hear their problems, and give them solutions — just like I always had for people, for decades, preceding Healing Elaine®. then I would work on their energy field. at the time, fresh in and out of housing court, I just wanted to do what I loved (which is helping people) and pay my rent. so that is all that I focused on. I didn’t necessarily plan to solve major life issues or completely alter the trajectory of people’s lives. and, in the back of my mind, I was afraid to do so — because I oddly felt that “no good deed goes unpunished”. and, I WAS RIGHT.
as my work grew, my understanding of many things grew. I can’t explain to you how no matter who I was meeting with and what field they were in, I was able to substantially help them. initially, it was intimidating. I was seeing people, women and men, with crippling life concerns and problems, and many of them were extremely successful in the outer world; they were C-Suites, they were millionaires (self-made), and they had the power to affect many, many people. as word got out about me, and because, well, the internet, I became bombarded with inquires very quickly. by 2013 my phone was ringing off the hook. I could barely keep up with all of the calls. since I already worked with integrity, meaning no you could not just walk through my door (I needed to be sure I was helping someone and not hindering them by meeting with them, and I needed to be sure that I could help them or, it just wasn’t happening), I screened a number of calls. often times I knew just by the way that the phone rang, and I certainly knew by hearing someone’s voice — if it was the right person and the right time. the way that I worked and the way that I work now is laid out in extremely clear terms all throughout my website. at any rate, I felt this pressure in 2013, to run hard and fast — to solve as many problems as I could, for as many people as possible, and not “look up” until it was time. I’ll get to “it was time” in a bit — hence the bane of this article.
over the years my sessions grew from a few hours to many many hours in one sitting — followed by dozens of hours of follow up via phone and email. I was opening Pandora’s box for many people and they had endless questions. this meant that, in order to keep making a living, I was working and working and working — maybe 100 hours a week. this continued for years. until…
at the peak of my “success” with my business (many tangibly successful fertility cases, transmutation of illness cases, etc), I was always waiting for the shoe to drop. not because I am negative. but because I KNEW, in each and every session, that the amount of truth AND the amount of RESULTS and life changes were…almost too good to be allowed. I was, and am, inadvertently affecting large numbers of people simply through the one person I was / am meeting with and helping and giving information to. and, I knew enough and had seen enough corruption on this planet to know that, at some point, that would be a problem. I just didn’t know exactly HOW the problem would present. until it did.
the first thing that happened was a fluke, but it set the tone for a dark, scary, and worst-nightmare scenario. one harder than I dreamed of ever having to deal with. the fluke, was three idiots who I hired. well, I hired one idiot – to help me with PR. a privileged, spoiled brat who never worked a day in his life. this meant that he ran around with his “fake company” and celebrity name drops (these people love to immerse themselves in “important crowds” — which is exactly how I met him and was fooled myself. lesson one.) and had no concept of running a business because he had no financial responsibility. he was not only a kept man, but knew nothing about business (or people). hiring this idiot cost me a LOT. through him, he insisted that I revamp my website (keep in mind, I was at the PEAK of my career — this was 2016 — why fix what was not broken!?). he also insisted that I get new photos ASAP! so, I was directed to hiring (who I would later learn to be, through a background check) a CRIMINAL photographer, and the photographer’s CRIMINAL friend (a shady, addict web hacker who told one of my lawyers in writing “go fu4k yourself”, upon requesting MY credentials and property which he refused after stealing it). although I initially told this “publicist” point blank “I don’t trust the web person”, he insisted I was crazy. at the end of the day, he insisted that I work with them because the REAL story is that he was getting free stuff from each of them on the back end. the three amigos as I will refer to them (who continue, to this day, to work together!), took me for a ride. not only did they take me to the cleaners financially, and I was stupid to not background check any of them in advance, but they also stole my websites without my knowledge. that story is a whole other article, but I have to preface other details with these details. I also preface the rest of this article with these details, because it is separate from the other problems I will describe and the danger of AI. in short, you can read my brief summary here on my instagram page. it spells out the order of events.
after the first dark web domino went down, I noticed something else. it was now the summer/fall of 2017, and I noticed that my entire online presence changed. this was bigger than having my sites stolen and restricted by the three amigos, though they certainly set the tone and made figuring it all out (it took me, and my legal team and entire YEAR to figure out “what” was happening to my websites) extremely challenging. my entire online presence — my social media (I was being shadowbanned – the following FROZE, and each time a new person followed me they “knocked off” another — sometimes close friends of mine since I actually KNOW many of the people who follow me, so the proof is in the pudding), the number of calls that were getting through to my (Google) business line, and my visibility, nearly went dark. HMPH. I was stumped. like, one day, EVERYTHING STOPPED. out of nowhere. I talked about it in therapy, and my therapist at the time (knowing what I do for work and often how “high level” it goes) said that they had seen similar things, unfortunately, with people being silenced. like, when the truth is too big, “the powers that be” shut them down. yeah. I was getting that feel already. I just always prayed it wouldn’t happen like that. which leads me to the same question you may be asking at this point “um, ok, how and what is your point? how would this happen and what does it have to do with AI?”. I’ll tell you.
nearly every session I took with someone, I was acutely aware of the fact that we have electronics and what those electronics DO. I didn’t know what siri was until maybe 2016, or that it was even on my phone, but I knew certainly that we were all recorded, all of the time. and if you think that YOU are not recorded, all of the time, even when your phone is on airplane mode, you are fooling yourself. I would look around the room at the electronics like my canary or my sonos and my phone and computer, and almost always remember to dismantle them and turn them off (not that that really mattered). when I was in hotel rooms I would unplug everything and cover the TV (the huge camera that watches all of your moves whether you want to believe it or not). I knew however, that it didn’t really matter. that everything I was sharing, was something being monitored and recorded. I just didn’t know exactly how and I didn’t know for sure how it would affect me. thankfully, as far as I know, my work has only ever really helped other people/my patients. the people I saw were not the targets: I was. and the way I understand AI, particularly as I began to consult for AI specialists, is that it is an ENTIRE SEPARATE BEING. it might was well be an entire person or billions of actual people. and, there is INCREDIBLE control around AI…AI can not have people thinking independently. what I was doing, what my work does, is exactly that…and to boot, I was working and still work with people who can change minds. these people are not part of dark agendas, the agenda which, whether you believe it or not, is AI.
now I’m not saying that everyone who works in AI is bad. I am saying that most people are either consciously or unconsciously ignorant to the beast that is being built. and it is a beast indeed, BECAUSE IT IS CONTROLLED. what I began to notice with my business, as Google and ALL of big tech began to shadowban and censor me (it exists TO THIS DAY), was that I was a target because of the level of truth I shared. and believe me, I can and will give many examples. here is a random one for you: so, I work and have worked with many medical professionals. top level. earlier this year, in the midst of my shadowbanned and censored online life (and yes this included twitter), I get a demand from square processing. it tells me “we need information about your client with credit card ending in #### in order to allow you to proceed. what is your relationship to this person, and we need to see an invoice for services rendered.” oh really, Square? so, you just happened to choose one of the most important (to large numbers of people) and wealthy and influential individuals I met with last month, to ask me about? I took the info to my therapist, AND to my legal team (I have two whole teams now — investigating ALLLL of the above with me and walking beside me since this insanity began) and of course everyone found it odd if not disturbing. THEN, I realize that Square is owned / founded by none other than JACK from Twitter. you don’t say! and this is one example, out of DOZENS, that came to haunt me on a monthly basis for the past few years straight with regard to big tech. and if you don’t understand it just yet, big tech IS AI. they create, control, and execute it. it’s not “cool” or “cutting edge” (it could be, if the forces behind it were pure), it is AGENDA plain and simple. and ANYTHING AND ANYONE who threatens their narrative is a problem for “them”/AI/”The Masters of The Universe”.
I used gmail my entire career, until this year. it took me that long to figure out what CRIMINALS Google is, because I just was not willing or able to believe what was really happening. not only does GOOGLE sell ALL OF YOUR DATA to off-shore entities, but they monitor every single word you write and every single thing you look at — and stop and ask yourself, “why?”. well, this, is one of the main infrastructures of AI. so, entities and encyclopedias of thought and information are being created with every single word and idea you ever have, because there are like zero privacy laws (and the laws that are in place, are totally bypassed — do you know how many executives from Facebook, Google and Twitter have committed PERJURY while lying in front of Congress?). this means that all of our communications, all of our ideas, are stored and either used, or TUCKED AWAY and censored OR regurgitated FALSELY by other entities because they are true and dangerous (because “these people” want ultimate control over our world and everyone in it). what is NOT true is not dangerous — and so it is PUSHED and pushed and pushed, through media, and through our little devices. not seeing the truth because it is inaccessible, though, is only half the battle. the other battle is the fact that AI is SYNCING with our consciousness. let me paint the picture for you.
whether you believe in the afterlife or not, you can likely agree that “consciousness” IS, indeed, an energy. it is what makes each of us unique. most of us do not understand how consciousness works. I UNDERSTAND how it works, as it is what I bloody do for work. and, for the record, there is a reason that my sessions start at 5-figures — 1) it takes tremendous time to explain to people what all of this intangible “stuff” is, and I am able to explain things that they have not found one other person on this planet to be able to explain 2) alongside the tremendous time I spend is my expertise and experience that I can not find elsewhere, in terms of my exact trade 3) it takes my ENTIRE life force that I bring to the table for each and every person and that is PRICELESS. I don’t say this to try to impress or be fancy, I say it because I don’t think that most people can imagine what goes on in a session of mine and frankly NOBODY understands it until after they have been through one with me. I digress, but it important to me to explain — because I am not over here selling widgets and “feel-good” crystals and spiritual band-aids: my work is real, deep, and obviously threatening to those who do not want people to think for themselves. in my sessions, I explain consciousness in the way that I understand it. I explain it to people who are far more advanced than me in science, psychology and medicine. and apparently big tech and “The Masters of The Universe” HATED that. and so, with the intention (consciously or unconsciously) to block truth, we have AI. we have a system of energy — signals and communications that interfere with our BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT, all day long — that has started to control us.
AI is an actual life force — contrived, yes, so not a traditional life force — with a controlled intention. and it is the sum total of what “the powers that be” want it to be. and you may still wonder, at this point in my long-winded article, what I am getting at. well, put on your critical thinking cap. assume for a moment that everything I am saying is true. and assume for a moment that yes (and I will get into more details later), a little guy like me with a small-in-numbers online following has been censored. can you stop and ask why? the why resides in a few categories: 1) we are in 1984 already. if we are to think independently, we break old systems of control. these systems of control are in place by a few very, very wealthy families on this planet. NO, this is not conspiracy. and no, I didn’t pay it any mind until my life was pretty much shut down and impacted. you believe it once it happens to you. also, just go do a little research – that is all it takes! 2) big pharma. big pharma wants and needs you to be sick so that it can keep making money! big pharma is the biggest drug dealer on our planet. street dealers do not COMPARE to big pharma. it’s all a crazy system. next, have you heard, or looked into, any of the big tech whistleblowers at all? I mean, they are real people — but you won’t hear about this on your mainstream news channels (which by the way, are CONTROLLED — ALL OF THEM). let’s start with Dr. Robert Epstein. and go watch, now, The Creepy Line documentary — it’s free on Amazon Prime. if “The Masters of The Universe” can not make money off of our minds or our very life force (our health), then what control do they have? the answer is none. and so AI has become more important than ever! and it is more expansive than you think.
in 2017, big tech did two things: they began to work harder to control people’s minds and health (because that’s how you keep a population under control!) by censoring people. JUST GOOGLE OR BING OR DUCKDUCKGO THE BIG TECH WHISTLEBLOWERS — ALL OF THEM! there are endless documents, if only you look away from mainstream media, that have it all right there in print for you to see. people, including Tulsi Gabbard, are suing them (and many people, successfully suing them) for the same sorts of things that they have done to me. the two things that they focused on censoring and continue to focus on censoring are 1) healthcare and alternative health (ahem) and 2) politics. now while the first category may be unfortunately “obvious”, I know a lot of people don’t understand or even believe the censorship of the second category. I’ll tell you why. and I knew it from day one. in a nutshell: our current administration threatens all that has ever been as far as the “world order” is concerned. because they were never a political entity to begin with, and so they don’t need to play along. they were already wealthy and powerful. they were not born from within the “system” I am referring to. and that is DEADLY threatening to that appalling system! they may be a lot of things. you may hate them. but personality and particulars aside, there is a REASON that they are hated, censored and REPEATEDLY set up in the media…it’s more than them just “being who they are”. and I’ll tell you another thing. when you are a famous person who doesn’t follow the World Order in terms of promoting healthcare or politics in a certain way (you are basically HANDED a script by your handlers by the way, or it’s called “media training”, LOL! — and you do not question that script and you simply repeat it for all of your millions of followers without even realizing that you are partaking in major mind control because you are probably a decent person, clueless to how it all REALLY works and you yourself are being controlled), you are punished. severely. consider the people who either do not have social media or who have gone off the grid — they have been threatened, their families have been threatened, and they have suffered physically and otherwise. in a nutshell, those people are attemptedly wiped off the face of the earth because they know and have spoken and speak the truth. so, not only is it stated IN FACT by Dr. Epstein (he was one of the first) that Google and big tech changed everything as of 2016 (the election terrified them — it was the first thing that they could not control), but I am telling you that it happened to me. ME. I’m not even famous.
over the years I was offered and approached by a lot of press. most of the time it just never felt right, so I didn’t do it. I was told many, many times, by many many people (ok, many of them were esoteric, like astrologers or mystics much older than me) that I would have to “say no” to “huge” opportunities that would bring me immediate fame and money. and that is exactly what I did. to me, that stuff means: NOTHING. if you read my entire blog and know anything about my life, all that I have ever wanted to be is safe and happy. I turn down anything that doesn’t feel right. money and fame is a joke unless it is being used to HELP people, and I’ve always known that. I’ve been around it. I get how it all works. I ALSO get how you have to play the game, or you are taken out, once you are there. a lot of people are playing the game, as pawns in the system, and don’t even know it. so, over the years I said no to press because there was something inside of me that just didn’t trust it. I didn’t want what I do to be spun. I didn’t want the world’s first impression of me to be a joke. and that is what a lot of big press would have done. so I waited. I said no to “major” celebrity collaborations. because I KNEW what it was really about: agenda. over the last few years, I have asked myself if I made the right decision about declining press, because of what happened to me (which I am not even done sharing). to this day, I believe that in the moment I followed my highest of integrity and therefore it can not be a mistake. and that I will have my time. as it turns out, there is substantial press on the table for me now, with a couple of different entities (we will see which one of them has the courage to report).
after my lucrative, extremely busy business came to nearly a screeching halt in 2017 thanks to Google’s “new algorithms”, other things happened. TO THIS DAY, I am not allowed to use Google ads. that’s over two whole years of being craftily discriminated against by this “fair, all-for-one” platform. writing this makes my skin boil, because I do not want to go into every single detail. but all of the classic shadowbanny things happened to me: “your ad violates our guidelines” — time and time and time again. and I would call and get Bob over in India who had no flocking CLUE as to the company he was working for, who would try to convince me that it was a technical error or my ad was somehow an error. sure. errors for 3 years. OR, my ad would go up and then it would scramble in broken English with terms I NEVER entered. OR, a TOTALLY RANDOM phone number would be attached as an ad extension to my ad – notably, a “C. Brown” … oddly enough, a C. Brown was also accepting payments via my paypal at this time, to BLUEHOST (another corrupt company), for services I did not purchase! thankfully, paypal investigated this and refunded me. after a whole year of being scammed. I did backflips and accommodated every change that was suggested to me to make. and all of this going down AFTER the three amigos took me to the cleaners and cost me every single penny I had just to retrieve MY property (endless legal fees toward pursuing them, the hosting company that illegally hosted my company named “inmotionhosting” [CRIMINALS!], and the snakeoil salesmen in the middle who pretended my site was live when it wasn’t), we are talking MAJOR financial ruin. everything that had been running for a number of years on HIGH, just…crashed. all of the overhead that I was running…crash. tens of thousands in bills I could not pay. all because of shadowbanning, censorship, and the intention to create a certain AI.
again: you have to remember that AI is a controlled substance. if you have people TRULY thinking and doing for themselves (such as what I offer), then you have a problem, as far as AI and its handlers are concerned. and also, I am not the only one! there is a LONG LIST of people in alternative health (and, of course, politics), who have suffered similarly to me. and not only is AI a controlled substance, but it is infiltrating the way that you think EVERY SINGLE DAY with its censored, chosen-for-you “truth”. how do you feel about that? do you believe what I am saying yet? do you have any idea how impacted you are, on a daily basis, by AI? if the phone in my therapist’s office can take on a full sentence from me and repeat it back unprompted, where do you think that data is going?
everything that we write online but particularly via Google/gmail is cataloged. the “good” info is kept, and the “bad” (aka true) info is…discarded — along with the entity it came from. if you don’t already know, AI sorts and directs algorithms based on every single human being on this planet and spits back censored information through all of our devices — especially our media. a lot of people are walking around controlled by an artificial life force, and they do not even know it. they do not know why they are depressed. they do not know why they are sick. they do not know why certain thoughts enter their minds. they do not know…WHO THEY ARE. and they are younger and younger and young folks are the most spongey. and INTELLECT CAN NOT COMBAT AI. think on that, for a moment. only consciousness can combat AI…
what I teach someone is how to access their consciousness. this has made me a threat (as I keep stating). but the important thing to remember is that consciousness CAN combat AI. it’s just extremely tricky. and if you don’t pay attention, you will lose the battle. the best way to win the battle is to get away from all of the data collecting companies, like Google. the best way to win the battle is to TRULY LIMIT your social media time, or delete it altogether. although it may sound crazy, you are being programmed EVERY SINGLE TIME you look at your phone. you just can not imagine how or why. this is called spiritual warfare.
all of the sessions I have done and all of the calls and emails that came with them, were taken into algorithms beyond my conscious knowledge or consent. I have had to do backflip after backflip to figure out HOW to exist, alongside entities that do not want me on this planet. I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars figuring this out. I lost it all. my phone lines were intercepted and cut off — as in, NO ONE could contact me for periods of time. my online everything was tampered with. to this day, and after switching 5 web developers, 3 hosting companies, and hiring the best in cyber security law, my website STILL will often not work when attemptedly launched from Chrome and Google aka “The Masters of The Universe” products. why is that? all of this that I write, as far as what has happened to me, is documented. it’s all in one, big, data pile that I am keeping on file, hopefully for the right moment when the truth is safe again. because the truth is still not safe right now.
besides having my phone lines (I’ve now had 4) intercepted and tampered with, there are dozens of other peculiar things that have happened to me over the years, and I can only gather at this point that they all point to AI and what the global puppet masters want “out there” in terms of information. as I mentioned, various global news media outlets approached me this year and some I gave interviews to, and I have no idea if they will have the courage to write about me and my WORK (no, I do not and have never really talked about anything such as I am in this article! I never wanted this to be my focus or HAVE to be my focus! but, at the end of the day, my focus is truth, so I suppose it makes sense…). I have been followed, photographed near my apartment (that happened mostly after my Forbes article came out, and God bless the ethical writer who didn’t know me or my work from Adam and was interested enough to write about me), approached by strange people with strange questions, been audited by the IRS (really!?), been denied bank loans for NO REASON! (I was called a “patronage” — and if you don’t understand THIS, just do some research on what a social credit system is…apparently I don’t have much because I don’t play by the rules — rather I tell people the truth that can help and empower them), had big tech invade my practice with personal questions about my patients and with regard to payment processing, and to this day none of it has stopped.
when the pendulum swings SO FAR in one direction, it can not help but swing in the other direction. the pendulum, for me, is at its peak in one direction. this has been far too much for one person to handle, and I am finally emotionally and psychologically in a strong enough place even to talk about it here. and the fact is, there is really nothing left for me to lose. I lost it all. I have three businesses that I run on my own, and every single month is spent paying legal entities (who are continuing to help me with the MANY moving parts of all of the above), an incredible therapist (God bless them), and my most basic administrative costs that are required to run ACTUAL BUSINESSES. and I do all of this by myself. with no outside support. I don’t say this to sound spectacular or to elicit sympathy, I say this however to paint an overall picture of the perils of goliath that is AI and big tech and the lengths that they will go to in order to silence people — any way that they can. fear, intimidation, control, and confusion are the biggest tactics involved in a higher order agenda when they do not like what you stand for. and I get it, it’s not personal, either. but it has truly opened my eyes. what they can not and will never be able to take from me, is the plethora of deep relationships I have with people (many of whom are totally off the grid) who do have a ton of power (to do the right thing) on our planet. I believe that everything has its time, and the age of truth is upon us. but not without consciousness. and if you do not understand how energy works, how it forms through technology, and what is DRIVING technology, then you will suffer. and, you will be in for a rude awakening. PARTICULARLY as the truth DOES begin to surface. there will be a lot of fractured psyches.
where I am at, personally at the moment, is a space in which yes I am still working but still as careful and eager as ever to attract only the right person or entity. I continue to turn down “big sessions” or dealing with individuals who can simply afford it and don’t want to or can’t put in the effort required to truly make a 180 degree turn (that requires living in the ultimate truth), because it would be a MAJOR drag on my field to take a session simply for money. in fact, it would work against me 100%. if I haven’t sold out by now, I never will. so, I continue (even with the INSANE adversity I have faced due to online everything and the overall agenda on this planet) to wait for the right people to come through. and somehow, they do. although referrals rarely work for what I do, enough people know about what I do at this point (despite my online social media reflecting a fraction of my actual following) that word gets out. and those who are light, those who live in TRUTH, and those who can not be bought or controlled, make their way toward me. it’s a small group. and I don’t sell my time or expertise cheaply. I am in this for the pendulum-swing moment, when dark turns to light. perhaps that is idealistic. but I do not believe that my work would have even made it off the ground a decade ago had it not all been possible, fated, and destiny.
in terms of contacting me, well, it’s great if you can get to my site and read through it. I also have a separate line that is not Google, and it is 917-985-1221 (leave a voicemail with the specific nature of your call as I do not answer unknown numbers and I have a very specific protocol listed on my website that must be followed in advance to ANY inquiry. I do not receive, open or return text messages). I am also getting a new P.O. Box (it was suggested to me by a true professional that people have the most basic direct routes to me that can not be intercepted by the evil perils noted in this article) address TBA soon on bing search. I don’t use my former Google voice lines anymore nor do I continue to correspond via gmail. the best way to reach me is call. but please do your research first. and finally, if you are in my position or have dealt with any of the CRAZINESS I note here (and frankly, I’ve skipped over SO many details, because it’s just too endless), know that you have a whole army waiting with you in the wings. at some point, the pendulum DOES swing. and the giant at the gate falls down.
in 2003-2004 I discovered two important people. one of them is Dr. Caroline Myss, and the other author M. Scott Peck. during this period of my life, I had recently come out of my first official dark night of the soul. I was rendered homeless with my tiny cat and garbage bags of belongings as I borrowed time on a very kind acquaintance’s couch in Greenwich, CT. I write about the events surrounding this initial call to hear my own spirit, in my eBooklet 1. you can download it off of my website www.healingelaine.com/shop or under the shop tab if the link gives you trouble. as I regained my sense of self and stability after having it nefariously pursued over — and over — and over again by those who were supposed to love and support me, I found myself again diving deep into what I loved as a small child: reading.
in 2003-2004 I was a young person, with little corporate experience but a whole lot of life experience. I knew that although “other” was an interest of mine, that I had to be taken seriously before I stepped into my world purpose. this meant to me that I had to build an actual real world life for myself – which meant, I was interested in learning the actual mechanics of how people work versus escaping my body through my psyche to solve problems (i.e. fortune-telling, psychic readings, etc). I fantasized, during this time, about setting up my healing practice but I knew it was too soon. I have always been a grounded person (hi, I am a Capricorn with a Taurus Rising and an Aquarius Moon – can you tell?), but again my destiny is something that always seemed to negate “typical”. as I focused on building a career in corporate America to stabilize myself and navigate the “real world” (also so that later on, “normal” people could relate to me and me to them in this way), and move away from the chaos that had pursued and followed me my entire life, I came across the two amazing authors. I was able to meet Caroline at a book/CD signing in New York City one year. her work met me at an impasse in my life that changed the way I felt about myself, and everything around me — it connected to all that I already knew within me in a way that is hard to put into words, and I do share about this in another post dedicated to her. during this time I also encountered (for the life of me, I do not know how — I must have simply been reading a lot at this time, or really, really seeking) the work of M. Scott Peck. I read People of the Lie in 2004. I can’t say that I remember much about the book in terms of particulars in terms of reading it at THAT point in my life, because I was still largely unconscious at that time in my life, sorting through my trauma and being in my early 20s. what I can say, is that I held onto his books (all of which I still have), and that they made enough of an impression to process something, somewhere, in the back of my mind that connected dots to my own personal truth and understanding. in a nutshell: I resonate with both of the above authors and particularly Peck’s book People of the Lie.
I read this book again recently, for the first time since 2004, and it hit me like a ton of bricks: the content in this book, while not even remembering some of the stories in it from the first time I read it, matches much of my intrinsic compass and the way that I have unwittingly approached my work with others. as you may have read in other posts of mine, I never wanted to complete my psychology degree in college. for a variety of reasons. my entrance essay to both Boston University and Northeastern University, the only two schools I applied to and both of which I was accepted, was based on growing up surrounded by narcissism, depression, despair, addiction, abuse, and how it relates to the human condition — aka my hellish life experience until the glorious day when I was 18 and got to leave it all behind. I do not believe I was astute enough with my writing at that time to put all of those concepts and experiences in the same context that I would now. but I recall thinking “my grades are not that good, because since sophomore year I attended school as little as possible…I dropped all of my extra-curricular activities…maybe this essay is the only thing that will get me into these schools because someone reading it will connect to me”.
this book is a key ingredient to understanding human evil. the incredible paradox in which we currently reside, socially and otherwise on our planet, can be attributed in much depth to much of what this book discusses (and much of what my own personal writing discusses). in other words, we are confused creatures and we assign “evil” to certain ideas, labels, structures or personalities, when, in fact, it is MUCH more insidious than that.
my own personal understanding of evil, with which I have GREAT unfortunate experience, is simply: someone who lies to themselves. they are aware of the lies. they will die for the lies. they are 100% committed to the evil. the lies allow what is hidden, what is dark, to persist and corrode all that surrounds them. someone who lies to others but not to themselves (which is, let’s be honest, something we all do – we all lie, big or small, at some point and in different ways) can be free from evil. if we were not in the flesh, we could possibly be free from our lies. but we are not; we are incarnate physical beings. this, requires a level of personal honesty to be free from evil (darkness). I have always had an appreciation for those who, though perhaps I don’t care for personality-wise, are honest. this is because I always know what I am getting from them. it’s a clean feeling, even if there is a feeling of dislike or even a strong difference in beliefs. I can deal with that which I can see. I have always had an aversion — physically, and otherwise — to that which I can not see. this is evil manifest. and as the book People of the Lie points out, IT IS EVERYWHERE.
our collective moral compass is shot, but it’s an individual responsibility to change it. as we change, everything around us changes. we can blame the media, we can blame a celebrity, or we can blame our past — but if we lie to ourselves, we ARE the problem. the ability to stand alone in truth is something very few people are willing to do — because it is hard and lonely. you can be attacked, brutally, for it. many people lie to themselves. they cave to temptation. money-fame-attention: falsities. and they seem like good people. great people, even. they hide behind non-profit work. church. law. social spheres. but they can’t actually hide forever. because as more people awaken to their own core, this darkness is exposed.
I have written about and posted about my own ideas of evil. evil will never seek therapy, unless it is under the guise of proving something to someone else or manipulating the therapist himself. evil will never actually have a bottom line. evil serves to CONFUSE. have you ever felt confused by someone? as in, they are saying A, but why do you feel B? they are presenting “evidence”, which makes sense and seems to add up on the surface, but you feel otherwise? that is evil. and it runs deep. and it corrupts entire souls and human beings. I’m not being religious here, I am being scientific. but you can apply this notion to whatever context most pleases you. most of you don’t actually know what evil is, because you have been exposed to it SO OFTEN that you are confused. but the important part is how you deal with yourself, within yourself. that is the key. the redemption. THE FREEDOM. I wrote about this a bit here, on how we fail in life because we want to be liked.
with all of this said, in addition to the other two prerequisite books that I have requested anyone who inquires about working with me to read in advance, I now add a third: People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck. it is also highly suggested, if you want to work with me in some capacity, that you have been in traditional psychotherapy for at least one year. I don’t want to see people who go from ayahuasca ceremony to tea ceremony to yoga retreat to breathing retreat to meditation retreat one after the next after the next after the next, simply as a means to LEAVE THEIR BODY and never actually look at themselves. thankfully I do not attract those folks anyhow (they would likely be turned off simply by my writing, or my eyes and make some sort of projection). I have attracted a few in the past, particularly early on in my work, and they are never satisfied with what I have to say. because they can’t hear the truth. leaving your body is not truth. we do not meditate to lose ourselves (you might as well be a drug addict), we meditate to connect to ourselves. TO OUR PERSONAL TRUTH. this book is grounding, and I am a fan. the most successful cases I have had, whether consulting personally for an individual or for their business, includes those who are grounded enough to tether themselves to the psychological work realms; meaning, they are talented therapists themselves, or they are or have been actively in therapy (with a good, traditional CBT therapist — as you may note, there are really bad ones. and I’ve seen them on my journey), OR, they are simply open to therapy (aka facing the facts).
although my words are direct and may seem to resound with thunder at times, it is because of my deep passion for lending a hand to individual and collective human experience. I am just a human myself, imperfect and always learning, but I won’t ignore the fire within me that never dies. it is the fire that I was put here on earth to burn, and it supersedes all that is false. I trade off a lot to keep this fire burning. it is often a burden, but also, I believe, an incredible blessing to come.
I would like to first note that none of the examples that I share below are related, in any way, to my healing practice or anyone in / around it. the examples are from my strictly personal life. I hope they serve you in some way. in addition, as always, these are all MY WORDS. my experiences. not information I read or heard. everything that I write about, I have lived. and my words are my interpretations of such.
the law of physics states simply that two energies of different vibrations must match in order to stay in contact. this is more true than I could ever explain in words. I feel it all day. I’ve experienced it empirically. I write about it in nearly every single blog post, directly or indirectly. it is happening ALL OF THE TIME. to each and every one of us. it is just that we do not pay enough attention to it (much thanks to the unconscious mind, that wants to keep us trapped in the past, often in the safety of trauma that our ego adrenaline will not allow us to leave until things get bad enough).
everyone we speak with – engage with, in any way and on any level – impacts us and we impact them. the important question to ask is…how? when we begin to GROW, a funny thing happens in our relationships. we find that 1) we reside in more truth, and our relationships improve 2) we reside in more truth, and our relationships fall apart. another thing that happens, particularly when we are in our 20s, is that we do the opposite of grow – we REGRESS…this happens so that our unconscious mind may access and “fix” our trauma. we are rarely but sometimes successful in terms of escaping this — most people, sorry to say it, stay in regressed trauma forever. we regress, typically, through romantic partnerships. those are the sneakiest and strongest forms of glue to bond our mind cleverly to the past, and call it “love”. in actuality, we are working out things we do not actually want or need any longer. and so, in this way, we may find that 1) we reside in less truth, and our relationships fall apart 2) we reside in less truth, and the wrong relationships improve (taking us backward).
in 2011, I had just come out of the closet with my healing practice. I had little vistaprint cards that said “Elaine” on them, and a picture of a fairy. I was also blowing through trauma from the past, on my own, and doing a good job at it. I had attended alanon meetings for a time because I couldn’t afford therapy (no excuses — there is ALWAYS a resource for us and we do not necessarily need money for said resources — ask and ye shall find), and I was on a rigorous schedule of my own accord which included proper sleep (including a consistent bedtime), no TV, not too much social media, and daily exercise. I know, this may sound boring — but I wanted a life, and I knew that anchoring was the way to get there. I was juggling several jobs at the time, as I had been since I left corporate in 2006. I had my own consulting business, I worked part-time at a clothing store, and I was briefly in a band (I had abandoned my musical training in my early teens and I really missed it). I lived in a tiny east village apartment that I was always on the verge of getting kicked out of because I couldn’t afford it, and I had to learn how to train my mind differently — as in, learn that I was worth being paid, and also stop being afraid of my root essence (something that was robbed from me long, long ago). root essence is all things home, safety, and basic needs.
during this time, my then-bff came to NYC for a visit. although she made major money at a tech firm, she insisted on staying with me. she was always cutting corners with anything that would save her money, and she loved free shit. in retrospect, I wish I had told her “no” the dozen times she decided she would crash with me in my tiny studio versus pay for a hotel with the expense money her company gave to her. of course in hindsight, there are hundreds of things I wish I saw about her. one particular visit, I was in really hot water with my landlord. I was a couple of weeks late, and he had already shown up at my door asking for the rent. despite all of this, spiritually and emotionally and psychologically, I was doing better than ever. I was healthy on the inside, and hoping/waiting for the outside to match it. my bff invited me out to dinner with her other friend. since I knew her, I knew she would not be paying for me (despite inviting me, knowing my circumstances, AND having stayed in my apartment which inconvenienced me), but also that I could not afford it. I went anyhow, as I felt obligated. she knew my position, and simply looked the other way. again, at the time, I was USED to this selfish behavior because of my life experience, so I didn’t give it too much thought. at dinner, I remember feeling my own divine energy in a new way. I was not dating or in a relationship or in some idea of false power, so it was definitely mine. by the way, it is really important to note what is “yours” – if you are in a new relationship or have a new pay raise or promotion happening and you think THAT is your divine energy, that is a big mistake. that is called EXTERNAL validation and essentially, fake happiness. at any rate, I could feel more divine core during this period of my life like never before – despite the difficulty that I was having. I recall so vividly, the look of anger and discontent on her face during dinner. this would not be the last time that I would see this look — it would grow and grow, as my life and inner world each blossomed and grew and grew. after dinner, we took a walk around the city and I pet some horses that the police were riding downtown (this always really bothers me). after that night, I got a really odd email from my then-bff…
the email said that she was concerned for my mental health. because, simply, of how “different” I seemed at dinner, and how it was odd that I was petting the horses. it almost seemed like a joke, that email, which I have saved and downloaded to this day. in that moment, I knew: she was describing herself. but she didn’t know it. in the email, she said that her instinct was “to distance myself from you” — imagine that. my energy had changed so much for the better, that over a decade of friendship was on the line. as a side note, if I were to even BEGIN to list the 100 things about this individual that I now can not believe I overlooked, you might fall over. at any rate, I responded to the email and passed it off without any drama. shortly after that time, I find out that this once seeming straight-laced person is blowing coke every weekend (never an interest of mine) – because she told me so. I also find out, because she told me so, that she was sleeping with her married boss whose wife was pregnant with their third child. all of this, like it was no big deal. yet she was concerned about MY well-being, and how that reflected upon “HER”…
I had overlooked much of this type of behavior of hers, for many years in fact, until I couldn’t overlook it any longer. all the while, every criticism that she had of me, was actually of herself. and the tipping point came when I ACTUALLY became even healthier. it was staggering to me, how much an energy shift and a shift in consciousness will just absolutely not allow you to even live in the same state as someone. be on the phone with them. converse with them in any way. I was doing the inner work, and it showed. it actually began showing up in my relationships — and, the best part was, that I understood it. and so I allowed whatever needed to fall apart, to fall apart. the reasons that I had overlooked much of her behavior up until that point were really basic ones: she appeared really together, she had a high profile job, we had been friends for a really long time, and it felt like family. she was the things that I was taught to value — how people SEEMED, versus who they actually WERE. I had yet to fully address the actual meaning of that word: family. what I knew was, it didn’t include being treated poorly.
as I grew and became stronger, she became worse and worse. all the while, maintaining her fake, “together” appearance. the pinnacle came when anyone and everyone who was like her — intrinsically — I walked away from…and they all got together to talk. LOL! this is how strong the notion of vibration is, folks. all that matches will bond together and not even truly know why…all that does not match will be ripped apart, and the surface reasons will not even make sense at the time. that is how it felt with my former bff. the fact is, you will be attacked for your light when those around you [intrinsically] lack it. that is your cue to keep moving, with grace.
another example that I would like to share was perhaps even more difficult to figure out, in contrast to a more blatant experience such as I had with the former bff. this example is with a therapist I saw for 2 years. now, those of you reading this who work in mental health (thank you, thank you by the way to those of you who I have never even met for the referrals of other therapists who you have sent my way or inadvertently sent my way by telling them about me) know that a large percentage of “therapists” go into the practice because they are mentally unwell themselves. I’ve seen it many, many times. they think that their intelligence is so grand that it can bypass their own unconscious — it can not. they think that by helping others, they are fixing themselves — they can not, it does not work that way. many therapists, though intellectually intelligent, remain damaged; as they continue to use intellect to bypass deep, deep unconscious experiences that have not even begun to surface — because they are blocked by the intellectual commitment to fix others instead. that said, I was REALLY nervous about finding the right therapist. I hopped around for ages from early 20s on, and never ever was consistent in therapy — because I found that most of them were NUTS. I felt rather hopeless about finding anyone who not only could help me, but who knew something that I did not already know. and who was not certifiably crazy. I was often 10 steps ahead of each person I saw, and some of them ended up sort of asking me for advice – I would walk away knowing that I had opened something in THEM, and scared to find out that MY person (therapist) didn’t exist. at any rate, I found someone I thought could work. because I did not find them to be crazy, and they had many years of experience, I settled in. I could never, however, set a SPECIFIC or consistent day and time each week — I always had to call to schedule the next session. that, in and of itself, is a sign that some part of the equation did not fully work. because, commitment IS commitment, period. I couldn’t fully commit. but, I committed to the best of my knowing at that time and I DID commit to my own internal process. I went nearly weekly anyhow. in the very first session, I could tell that this person didn’t fully have me sized up, because of the questions they were asking me. I also felt they had to really state their power or boundaries, which told me that they felt threatened by me in some way. but, at the same time, I knew they had knowledge to share, so I stayed. for 2 years. I appreciate the time that I had with this person. but, there came a time when I had to go…and, just like the above example I shared with my former bff, that time came when I GREW…
I went through a terrible time in the outer world as it relates to my business and theft/censorship. that is a whole other enchilada. ironically, I entered therapy with this person right before it ALL began…and I left, right as it all began to reveal itself. as the facts surrounding my outer world tangible problems began to reveal, and I didn’t actually know they were revealing in the way that they would, I felt again that power inside of me bubbling up (heavily contrasting the outer world struggle). something in me had awoken further, and I can’t for the sake of time adequately explain what that felt like in writing. perhaps that is another post for me to write. what I knew, is that I WAS CLOSER TO TRUTH – period. and as this was happening, my then-therapist mentioned to me that she was “concerned about me”…hmmm…the irony here, is that it was only THIS WEEK in 2019 that I connected the dots in relationship to what my former bff had said to me about a decade ago as I was growing spiritually and emotionally…that she was “concerned” about me…and I see a much larger pattern now, with perhaps everyone in my life who had outgrown their purpose.
I was really caught off guard with my then-therapist because of her words, but I had also resolved (prior to entering therapy) to accept that I might actually never find someone who could see my big-picture. I was ok with it, I had surrendered to being lonely in that way. I was grateful for whatever insights she had and although knowledge is NOT experience, at least it is knowledge that I didn’t have to go online for, and I could share a banter about it with an actual person. during this time, literally everything had been stripped away from me (again – I recognize my life is not normal, but I know that it is relative to my purpose hence me writing here, for you) and I couldn’t afford to see her. when I say I couldn’t afford to see her, I am not saying it in the way that people throw that around when they have an ACTUAL savings and a line of credit (which boils my blood, my the way, because those statements about “not having money” are about CONTROL, about EGO, not fact)…I actually couldn’t afford a cab downtown because there was no credit for it anyway. when I get bottomed out like that — and by the way many people do get bottomed out like that and go on to write best-sellers or have amazing businesses so I do not consider it a “failure” in life — I know the people in my life are probably going to change as well. and, if I don’t see it at the time, I see it later and understand why. I went for a couple more sessions while I internally felt better than ever, but externally witnessed my life falling apart again. she looked at me strangely and brought up odd topics like politics…which informed me of her own trauma and relationship to my GROWTH. there I was again, growing…and it was causing someone to be “concerned” for me…and the Universe decided for me that it was time to go. a few months later, I knew that the right thing had happened — I was supposed to move forward now. I had outgrown that therapist. I would also like to note that I now have the therapist of my absolute dreams. it’s like “the” relationship of your life — when you know, you know. I knew on day one, that he was “the one”. I suppose this is how all important life decisions are supposed to go as they relate to people. we always know on day one, whether we admit that to ourselves or not.
evolving and truly growing feels like the land of Oz. when you grow to a point in which you actually give birth to a new energy inside of you, because you have been doing the work, you will outgrow many people. it does not, of course, make those people bad. but it lets you know that they are part of your old reality. this can feel extremely trippy. it can almost feel as though one is having a psychotic break, if you can imagine what that might feel like. the reason that people have such a hard time with the people around them growing and moving into TRUTH, is that they do not have the proper tethering to stay together when truth is presented — either in fact, or intrinsically in another person such as I was presenting to both my former bff and my then-therapist. it actually caused them to feel untethered, and their go-to was to deflect (without knowing it, of course), and be concerned about ME. they were concerned for themselves.
there is no end to how many layers we each have, and how much we can grow. when we spend time with others, we MUST match them on some level. when we no longer match them, the Universe simply separates the two forces like oil and water. it finds all kinds of ways to do so. the art of allowing will carry you through, as this occurs. those who do not want to change, and who do not want to see the truth, will find ways to attack you — not because they want to hurt you, but because they are so afraid of seeing “what is”. this translates to the entire debacle we are now seeing with big tech, and let me tell you that we are just at the tip of the iceberg that will melt and melt and melt…while people meltDOWN, over it. I have always wondered what the “big event” would be in this world, to finally land or bridge people on the “same page” (meaning TRUTH)…would it be aliens landing that everyone could see at the same time? would it be a big news scandal that was too mainstream to miss? well, whatever “it” is, is well on its way. and I continue to do my best to remain understanding of how and why people can not see truth. it is not because they don’t want to, but rather if they untether something in their unconscious mind, they mind literally lose it. and I believe that the powers that be upstairs, know this. that is why we are not all on the same page at the same time. for whatever that is worth to you.
when your relationships start to shift and change, ask yourself: 1) am I growing 2) am I around someone who is actually negatively impacting me, but I just can’t see it because it is in my house of trauma 3) what are my internal versus external particulars … answering those questions soundly will assist you. the only “wrong” way to do things, is to go against our SELF in some way in this life. that is when we pay the ultimate price. so, if you are doing things to the best of your ability and not lying to yourself, take a deep breath, let it out, and let go of worrying about whether or not you are on the right track. everything that needs to follow, in the sphere of people and relationships, will.
*as always, please revisit the link to this article — I often do not edit my first draft before publishing (yes, there are reasons). I often edit a day or two later at which point reading this a second time may make more sense anyhow.
all humans lie at one point or many in their lifetimes. lying can keep people alive in dangerous situations. it can also create illness (I’m sure you know the very true quote, “we’re only as sick as our secrets”), chaos, and very bad karma — not just for the person lying, but for the person being lied to…
I’m going to talk more so about the importance of understanding when you are being lied to, so that you do not take on the karma of the person lying or of the lie itself. because believe me when I say this: WE BECOME WHO WE SPEND TIME WITH. WE BECOME WHO WE TALK TO. WE BECOME WHATEVER WE EXPOSE OURSELVES TO.
so first I will comment on my past decisions to completely avoid press, and take very few opportunities or offers for such regarding my work. I waited a number of years before I let anyone talk about my work, because at the time (and even now, despite the sudden and overnight and totally rampant TREND of “healing” and “psychic” in the last two years) it was considered “crazy”. in fact, I didn’t know what to call my work, so when I first started consulting and helping people I just called it “reiki” to make things easy. the truth was and is, reiki doesn’t even touch upon what I do. to read about what it is that I actually do, look through the testimonials listed on the testimonial page and read through this blog. there aren’t many words to encapsulate what has occurred, and what continues to occur, when I pour my heart, experience, intuition and expertise into an individual, their family, and their business. so, it was my choice to first build my arsenal of irrefutable and empirical evidence surrounding my work with fertility (nearly one dozen babies were born last year in 2017, some to women who were told they medically could not conceive), medical mysteries solved (countless cases have been solved, and countless cases are still prepping to be told – let’s reserve the good stuff for later though), and problems that many people had not been able to solve before our work together. since I fully understand the “woo woo” and “crazy” aspects of people who claim to be healers and psychics (just read my blog to hear my perspective), I braced myself for the feedback or backlash that I feared I would receive early on. thankfully, I didn’t receive any. I kept my head down, worked upwards of 100+ hours per week, and dedicated the past decade of my life to helping people solve problems they had not been able to otherwise solve. I loved and love this work. it is my heart. and it wasn’t something that I was going to allow to be butchered, skewed, or misinterpreted early on by risking press. and to be fair, I totally understand why the press often laughs at all things unseen. I have been that person myself a number of times, too.
last year, someone reached out and wrote a beautiful article about me in Forbes. it was really great because Forbes was actually at the top of my list of outlets I was willing and excited to speak with. the writer is an amazing person who didn’t know me from Adam prior, and she let me cold read her and her life before she took my interview. the whole experience, start to finish, was a pleasure. to date, it is the most accurate and objective piece written about me and I am so grateful for it. because generally, “the news” doesn’t want to hear good things…in fact I think we are allergic to good news…we like the controversy…I will admit that once upon a few times, late at night when I can’t sleep, I check a certain person’s twitter account to entertain myself. I spent the last couple of years subsequently dodging press, mostly because I did not feel confident with the “team” I had around me. it wasn’t a stable team and I didn’t feel protected. in addition, I started to learn that many people’s allergy to the notion of what someone like me does, which is true and authentic work, was a real thing. for example last Summer I got a call from a very famous person’s publicist. she asked me if I could come to her event where the Conde Nast editors would be for the fashion magazines. they wanted a “healer” who could bring “crystals” and give “readings” to editors and friends of the celebrity. I very much appreciated the reach-out, I adore the celebrity they reached out for, and I also let her “people” know how I work — specifically that I would not be able to “play the game”, to be fluffy or fake, and that if someone asked me a question, I would tell them the truth. that, of course, was a deal-breaker. she told me point-blank over the phone and still in my notebook from that conversation “ok to be honest with you, what we really want is a fake healer to just bring crystals and tell people good things”. and mostly, this is what sells – fluff. and that’s cool…it’s just, that’s not what I am/do. fast-forward, and the “fake healer” they invited to that event now has her whole own website. with almost all of the same services I offer – how curious! we shall see how quickly “energy work and kids” pops up on people’s/healers radars, now that that is “out there”, too.
as this year of 2018 started to close out, and I focused on two programs I started working on last year — The Energy Mavericks™ (TEM®) and Pediatric Energy® (PE™), I opened my mind to press. when my assistant caught a call from The New York Post, I listened to the voicemail and felt really good about the writer. I think she’s a hard worker, smart, quirky, genuine, and does her job — she works for the Post. the energy was really great chatting with her, and I know there is a reason I took that call. she seemed to “get it” during our conversation. her piece, she said, was on kids and wellness. and, I think she’s onto a good new topic! that said, I didn’t and don’t know of anyone else who practices or promotes energy work with children, so I was open to “breaking open a new subject”. it’s something no one else covered before — until my story leaked in the meantime (my article was delayed 3 weeks), and this one “broke” instead. kind of surprising someone scooped up the “scoop”, but not really. all in all, I felt pleasant about the way the writer and editor portrayed the healers in this particular article…mostly as credible, good people. and, the photos were nice…
we (The New York Post and I) scheduled a photo shoot for November 4th, and I gathered some kids I had never worked on before at a center I thought could also benefit from the press as a tie-in — they have a children’s program. not energy work or reiki, but they support kids and I felt that they supported me too. the photographer, noted in my upcoming article link, was a fun and nice guy. I really enjoyed the afternoon with him! plus, the photos he showed me on his camera at the shoot were GREAT! I was sure that I would be happy with whatever photo they chose, and I was excited for the article (in whatever form it came). then came the article…
so, it’s The New York Post. I’ll start there, because everyone knows that the Post is a fun and often salacious news outlet. it’s the outlet that we all go to for entertainment, a laugh, and a fun way to pass part of our Sunday. a patient of mine actually sent me my article link — her husband is a religious Post reader! I didn’t expect a serious article to come for me, and because the team over there was so great, I knew that whatever it was would be positive. that said, allow me to make a few very important edits and corrections to the article: my lawyer is trademarking my program name Pediatric Energy® (update: Pediatric Energy® is a registered federal trademark as of October 2019), not me; I have an entire legal team I have had for years, because I take my work seriously. next, I can’t remember the last time I used the word “monster”; the quote in there, about me calling children energy monsters, is not mine. what I have said, however, is that children nowadays are like much newer modeled cars who often need different fuel than we are accustomed to — with dispositions and diagnoses like autism and the like, for which I have spent countless hours consulting on with parents of children who desperately want to understand their child. I have a great sensitivity for children having opportunities to see themselves as autonomous, loving beings, because it is not an opportunity I ever had as a child. finally, let’s talk about the photo in the article…it’s not my face. I guess I should consider it a compliment that my face and eyes, specifically, would be retouched to actually make me look worse. again, as many of my friends who saw the article and barely recognized me said, “Elaine, it’s THE POST!”. ha. ok. I get it. but…I also don’t know anyone on this planet who is ok with anything less than accurate representation of themselves. plus, in the context of this article (I don’t mind that they played devil’s advocate for both perspectives on healing and wellness for kids…I actually like the spunk of the writer and the outlet in general), it’s important that I don’t look like a total creep. thankfully I remembered to wear my fake wedding ring in the event I did look like a creep…I think it takes away some potential creepiness. and I do look like a creep – from the drawn-in circles under and around my eyes, to the change of my actual face shape along with lines on my neck.
see exhibits A through E, below
The New York Post’s version of my face
The New York Post’s version of my eyes – what happened to my cat eyelashes anyhow?
not sure what is happening here either
the actual version of my face, taken an hour later at dinner
three hours later, taken at Ludlow House as we were getting kicked out for taking photos and loitering after hours
since I’m an actual human being, my image is important to me. for the record, I don’t believe in the retouching of photos I have control over. unless the photographer insists, as it is, after all, their art. why wipe away what’s real and true? oh, and if you have questions about what “work” I’ve done to my face, go ahead and read my post on aging and plastic surgery! you might be surprised at the truth. and of course I asked the Post for a retraction of my “quotes”, and a swap for a normal photo. of course it’s “policy” to not change anything. but for the sake of explaining how EASY it can be for ANY news outlet to impact our perception of a person, their business, and their entire life, I present this article and details in my own “post”. anyone who knows me well actually contacted me in shock over the image of me, in general, that was portrayed in this article. and while I was initially disappointed — actually, I believe I used the word “devastated” as I emailed the writer — I believe only good things can come from this article. and, I appreciate very much the awareness that it is bringing to my PE™ program!
so, thank you to Lauren Steussy and The New York Post and your editor, for giving me a little jolt before the end of the year. I would love to work with you again, I’ll probably just request approval on quotes and photos!